THE BOY WHO KNEW ME FIRST

By eleven in the morning, Elle had already checked the same email more times than she wanted to admit. Her phone was lying beside the register with the screen turned down. She had put it there so she could finish her work without thinking about it, but that hadn't helped much. Every few minutes, she found herself reaching for it again. “Elle, are you done with the Henderson flowers?” Her mother's voice came from the back of the shop. “Almost!” Elle looked at the arrangement in front of her. She had been working on it for the last twenty minutes, but somehow it still looked unfinished. “You said that ten minutes ago.” “I know. I'm finishing it.” Her mother came out carrying a bucket of flowers and stopped when she saw the arrangement. Rosa Marquez looked at the flowers, then at Elle. “What's wrong?” “Nothing.” “You've been working on that one arrangement forever.” “I'm just trying to make it look nice.” “It looked nice fifteen minutes ago.” Elle picked up another stem. “Then now it'll look nicer.” Her mother shook her head and carried the bucket to the other side of the shop. Rosa's Flowers was busier than usual that morning. It was Saturday, which meant people kept coming in for birthdays, anniversaries, and last-minute gifts. The shop smelled like fresh flowers, wet leaves, and the apple-cinnamon candle her mother had recently become obsessed with. Elle hated that candle. Her mother knew this and continued using it anyway. The bell above the front door rang. “Good morning,” Elle said without looking up. “Thanks.” She stopped. A hand reached across the counter and picked up her coffee. Elle looked up just in time to see Lucas take a sip. “Seriously?” He looked at the cup. “What?” “That's mine.” “I bought it.” “For me.” “And I changed my mind.” She reached for it, but he moved it away. “Give it back.” “You haven't even said thank you.” “Thank you. Now give it back.” He took another sip before handing it over. Elle stared at the cup. “You're disgusting.” “You've known me for nineteen years. This shouldn't surprise you anymore.” Unfortunately, he had a point. Lucas Rivera had been taking her food and drinks for as long as she could remember. When they were children, he used to come into their house without knocking. At some point, both families had simply stopped questioning it. Even now, he looked completely comfortable standing inside her mother's flower shop as if he owned part of it. His hair was messy, and there was dust on one sleeve of his shirt. Elle pointed at it. “Where have you been?” “Work.” “It's Saturday.” “Tell my dad that.” From the back of the shop, her mother heard him. “Lucas?” “Morning, Tita!” “Have you eaten?” “Yes.” “No, he hasn't,” Elle said. Lucas looked at her. “Why?” She smiled. “Because you stole my coffee.” “That doesn't mean I didn't eat.” “What did you eat?” He didn't answer. Her mother appeared in the doorway. “There's food in the fridge.” Lucas smiled immediately. “Thank you, Tita.” Elle shook her head. “You only come here because she feeds you.” “I also come here because you're such good company.” “You were doing fine until that part.” Lucas leaned against the counter while Elle went back to the flowers. “So why are you here?” she asked. “My dad needs flowers.” “For what?” “My mom.” “Her birthday is on Tuesday.” “I know.” Elle looked at him. Lucas looked back at her. It took her a second. “Your dad forgot?” “He didn't forget. He just remembered late.” “That's called forgetting.” “I'm trying to help him here.” Elle laughed and walked toward the flower buckets. “What does he want?” “Roses.” “Your mom doesn't even like roses.” “I told him.” “And?” “He said women like roses.” Elle stared at him. Lucas raised both hands. “His words, not mine.” “Good thing he sent you here.” “That's what I said.” Elle started choosing flowers for the arrangement while Lucas followed her around the shop. “Sunflowers?” she asked. “Sure.” “That's not helpful.” “You're the flower expert.” “Then stop following me.” “I can supervise.” “You're not qualified.” “I've been coming here since your mom opened the place.” “That still doesn't make you qualified.” “It should.” Her phone vibrated on the counter. Elle glanced at it. The screen lit up for a moment before going dark again. When she looked back, Lucas was watching her. “What?” she asked. “Nothing.” “Then stop looking at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like you know something.” “I usually do.” She rolled her eyes and went back to the flowers. A few seconds passed. “Is it work?” he asked. Elle looked at him. He nodded toward her phone. She should have known he wouldn't let it go. “Kind of.” “Something happened?” “No.” “That's convincing.” Elle sighed. There was no point hiding it from him. She was going to have to tell everyone soon anyway. “Remember Hawthorne Publishing?” “The place you applied to?” “Yeah.” “In Greyford?” She nodded. Lucas straightened a little. “What about it?” “They emailed me yesterday.” “And?” Elle picked at one of the leaves in the arrangement. “They offered me the job.” For a second, Lucas didn't say anything. Then he smiled. “You got it?” “I got an offer.” “That's the same thing.” “Not exactly.” “Elle, you got the job.” “Keep your voice down.” “Why?” “My mom doesn't know yet.” “I know what now?” Rosa called from the back. Elle closed her eyes. Lucas laughed. “Great.” Her mother came out again. “What happened?” Elle gave Lucas a look before turning to her. “I applied for a job a few weeks ago.” “The one in Greyford?” Elle was surprised she remembered. “Yes.” “And?” “They offered it to me.” Her mother's face changed immediately. “You got the job?” “I haven't accepted it yet.” Rosa put down what she was carrying and walked over to her. “Why didn't you tell us?” “I was going to. I only found out yesterday.” Her mother hugged her before Elle could say anything else. “Congratulations.” Elle hugged her back. “Thanks, Ma.” “When do you have to answer?” “Monday.” “Then we'll talk about it tonight. Your dad should know too.” “I was going to tell him.” “I'll call him.” “Ma.” But Rosa was already heading toward the back room. Elle looked at Lucas. “This is your fault.” “How?” “You were loud.” “You're welcome.” “I didn't thank you.” “You will eventually.” She went back to arranging the flowers. Lucas stayed near the counter, but he was quieter now. For the next few minutes, neither of them talked about the job. A customer came in, then another. Lucas took the chance to steal part of Elle's cheese roll while she was helping someone. By the time the shop was empty again, he had eaten almost half of it. “You could've asked,” Elle said. “You would've said no.” “Exactly.” “So I saved us both time.” Elle pulled the paper bag away from him. Lucas laughed, but after a moment he looked toward her phone again. “Are you going?” Elle knew what he meant. “I don't know.” “You haven't decided?” “No.” He nodded. That was it. Elle waited for him to say something else. When he didn't, she frowned. “That's all?” “What else am I supposed to say?” “I don't know. Something.” “Okay.” He thought for a moment. “Congratulations.” “I mean about moving.” Lucas leaned against the counter. “Do you want me to tell you what to do?” “No.” “Then what do you want?” Elle opened her mouth, then stopped. She didn't know. That was part of the problem. “Greyford is three and a half hours away,” she said. “I know.” “My whole family is here.” “I know.” “My job is here.” “The job you complain about every week?” “That's not the point.” “Okay.” “And you're here.” Lucas looked at her for a second before nodding. “Yeah.” Elle looked down at the flowers. She wasn't sure why saying that out loud had made her uncomfortable. Lucas was part of Bellrose in the same way her family was. Of course leaving meant leaving him too. It wasn't complicated. At least, it shouldn't have been. “You've never lived anywhere else either,” she said. “Nope.” “So you don't understand.” “I probably don't.” That answer surprised her. She had expected him to argue. Instead, he picked up a loose leaf from the counter and turned it between his fingers. “But you applied for the job,” he said. “So?” “So some part of you wanted it.” “I was curious.” Lucas gave her a look. “What?” “You don't apply for things just because you're curious.” “Yes, I do.” “No, you don't.” She wanted to argue with him, but she couldn't think of a good example. Lucas smiled when he noticed. “See?” “I hate when you do that.” “Do what?” “Act like you know me better than I know myself.” “I've had nineteen years of practice.” “That doesn't mean you're always right.” “I didn't say I was.” “You were thinking it.” “Maybe.” She threw a small leaf at him. He moved out of the way. Elle looked through the shop window. Across the street, Mr. Villanueva was sweeping the sidewalk in front of his bakery. She had seen him do the same thing almost every morning since she was a child. A woman she recognized from church walked past carrying two grocery bags. Somewhere farther down the street, a dog started barking. Nothing about Bellrose was exciting, but that was part of why she liked it. She knew where everything was. She knew which café made the best iced coffee and which one always put too much ice. She knew which streets flooded when it rained. She knew the people at the pharmacy, the bakery, and the small bookstore near her father's school. She knew this place. Greyford was different. She had only been there a few times. It was bigger, busier, and full of people who wouldn't know who she was. That thought scared her, although she wasn't sure that was all she felt. “You're thinking too much again,” Lucas said. Elle looked at him. “I'm deciding whether to move to another city. I'm allowed to think.” “Sure. But you're probably already thinking about where you'll be ten years from now.” She crossed her arms. He smiled. “Am I wrong?” She didn't answer. Lucas laughed. “Elle, it's one job.” “In another city.” “Three and a half hours away.” “That is far.” “You say that like you're moving to another country.” “It feels far.” “Okay. Then it's far.” She looked at him. He wasn't making fun of her anymore. “You really don't care if I go?” she asked. Lucas frowned. “I didn't say that.” “Then what are you saying?” He was quiet for a moment. “I think you should figure out what you want before you start worrying about what everyone else wants.” Elle looked at him. That sounded simple when he said it. For her, it wasn't. “What if I make the wrong choice?” “Then you make another one.” She laughed. “That's terrible advice.” “I didn't say I was good at this.” “You sounded very confident.” “That's different.” The bell above the door rang before Elle could answer. A customer walked in, and she automatically turned toward them. “Good afternoon.” Lucas stepped away from the counter, and their conversation ended there. A few minutes later, Elle finished the arrangement for his mother and handed it to him. He looked at it. “These aren't roses.” “Your mom will like these better.” “My dad specifically said roses.” “Then tell him you made an executive decision.” “He'll know I didn't.” “Tell him I did.” “That he'll believe.” Lucas took the flowers. At the door, he turned around. “Hey.” “What?” “Whatever you decide, you'll be fine.” Elle smiled a little. “That's it?” “That's it.” “You're really bad at speeches.” “Good thing I wasn't giving one.” He opened the door. “See you later, Marquez.” “You live next door. Of course you will.” He smiled and left. Elle watched him cross the street toward his truck, then another customer came in and the afternoon went on. By four, the shop was finally quiet. Her mother was in the back preparing an order for Monday. Elle stood alone behind the counter, cleaning up pieces of leaves and wrapping paper. Her phone was still there. She picked it up. The email was near the top of her inbox. Hawthorne Publishing — Junior Editor Offer Elle opened it. She had already read the whole thing the night before, but she read it again anyway. The salary was better than what she earned now. The position was exactly the kind of work she had wanted when she finished university. She would be working with actual manuscripts, helping editors, talking to writers, and learning how books went from drafts to something people could find on a shelf. It was a good opportunity. She knew that. The problem wasn't the job. It was everything that came with it. She would need an apartment and would have to learn the city. She would have to leave her parents, Sofia, the flower shop, and the house where she had lived almost her entire life. She would leave Lucas too. Elle looked toward the window. Bellrose looked the same as it had that morning. The same street, the same stores, the same people passing by. She knew what tomorrow would look like here. She knew what next week would probably look like too. Greyford was the part she couldn't picture. Her eyes returned to the email. At the bottom was the deadline. Monday, September 14. Two days. Elle locked her phone and put it down. A few seconds later, she picked it up again. Lucas's words came back to her. Figure out what you want. That was easy for him to say. Elle had spent most of her life knowing where she belonged. For the first time, she wasn't sure if knowing was enough.