The Demons that haunted her

Realization 2

I lay his hand down gently, in a not too obvious way to see his next action. Clayton did not seem like the guy to be into intimate things like I was so I didn't really expect him to do anything. But it happened as his hand went up my skirt. I was shocked at what just happened but it awakened something in me for him. Hours later, it was time to go home finally as school was over for the day, the fact that it is another night to face the sleep demon dawned on me unfazed by it at that moment I tried to hope it does not occur this night so I decided to change my sleep routine and sleep before the witching hour when the dark powers are stronger and very active as a not too prayerful person I decided to listen to some music to calm me before I go to sleep. I slept off with my earphones in my ear and my phone at the top of my head. Having a weird dream that was frightening, I wake to take the earphones out of my ear and go back to sleep with out in my ear, difference from last time, I laid my mattress on the floor to sleep there as it is cooler. I fall back asleep but moments later I wake up paralyzed yet again difference is that this time I feel the presence touch my feet and move its finger all the way up to my calves to instill fear which it did as it went on to walk on my mattress all the way to my head unable to see due to the bed spread that slightly covered my

eyes in my dark room without any light physically and also spiritually because of the otherworldly dark presence around it was as if the spirit of fear had visited me that night to tease me. I wished it was a physical prank but it was not, it seemed like they wanted to take their turns in causing me to have fear and be unable to sleep, I thought good, clean, gospel and positive music would solve it for me but that was not the solution for this dark and demonic problem I had. I'm a nice person I thought although I sin sometimes I'm neither a troublemaker nor mean person, I thought why does this happen to me why is it not happening to the mean people I see having a great time and getting away with it, why not the bullies or the boys that objectify my body and that of the other girls, why not the guys that body shame and that made me pissed and depressed I was tired of all this, it overwhelmed me greatly but there was nothing I could do but search for scriptures to help me sleep better and read them, at the end of the day I went with the advise of my Nana and Ama, I ended praying and crying to my Lord and Saviour begging for him to save me, that he did and I was able to sleep as I was consistent with my prayers and reading scriptures but that did not stop me from doing lustful things in the day time at school I could not help but be that person to live life unorthodox from what I was taught at home of course I tried to atone for it by being the best I can in my studies which worked. I kept my head down at home and tried to keep my private life private from my family, school was my escape even with the drama. At the beginning I was called a pick me, even though I stood up for those who were bullied even when my friends were the bullies, for a nice person I had some really mean friends who were not on my wave as they say, opposite attract but the truth is I had a crush on two out of the four girls, for some reason I was attracted to them at the same time I admired them but all from a distance as Eria Z was definitely straight but Carnation not so much but at that time I did not know much about her sexuality or her s****l life or who she likes. One thing I knew was she liked to be touched in some private places and it did not matter who did it she would explore with anyone and hide her true feelings. The week after my encounter with Clayton, things go faster and the times we happen to be next to each other, his hands would gently caress me under my skirts, the table there as a covering for the hidden activities. The feelings I felt during that moment were ones I have never once felt in my life, once upon a time I was scared of such experience but when I experienced it with him, it felt right and good, he was surprisingly good at it went way past my expectations or imagination, I really could not keep this experience to myself and I told Carnation first before Aliya since Aliya had a crush on him I really did not know how to tell her I was making advances knowing full well how she feels. I am a firm believer in the fact that dating at a young age and dating in general should not stop you from exploring and having experiences with multiple people, for me the only thing that should hinder that is marriage. I stood by that and the fact he did not like her back to justify what I was doing that made me the opposite of a good friend, a good friend would have stuck by her friend and put her above her lustful feelings this caused Aliya to have some ill feelings towards me that she brushed off and disregarded but sadly all this was one sided. Two weeks later, Carnation and I were both being caressed by Clayton. There were not that many attractive guys in my class, Clayton was not attractive, but he was tall and super intelligent not a nerd, he was good at playing football

and he was respected by the popular guys and was also popular in his own league. One thing that upset me was how he was a bit nonchalant although I could see through him that he enjoyed the attention he was getting from the girls all because I started talking to him I was quite popular among the guys as I was low key loose since I had kissed or had been touched by both some of my class guys and some of the senior guys. I was not bothered by it because I would have a crush on one and lose interest and it was on to the next for me. The main thing that got me hooked on Clayton was how he was good with his fingers and the release feeling never got old. It became like a drug that was necessary for me, it was like being recharged or rejuvenated.