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Chapter Ten

Heaven is just an imaginary place . Every place can become a heaven when you're with your loved ones.

For me Our home is a heaven , with Ed by my side , I feel like am in heaven .

Its been two months since our wedding , and am more than happy . Our trip to Paris was memorable , I enjoyed each and every moment with him , not thinking about what is yet to come .

Ed goes for work everyday and I join Lin and Nick in the store . I still work there . But we still go to my usual hangout place that bar and now we sing together , its not that I get paid but I sing with him for my happiness .

And you know what ?!

Remember Jordan ? He asked riley for a date a week after our wedding , I had to do a lot of talking with her to make her say yes . And I think she has decided on moving on with Jordan .

Aww ! Am totally fangirling over them !

And again ..you know what ?!

Lucas got a girlfriend ....atlast . Shelby ....eee !

She is sooo sweet and ahem ! She controls that jerk from flirting . She is just like Adalin part. 2.

Talking about my present condition....mess .

Even today Ed is at his work , he had tried to make as many excuses as possible to stay back but I kicked him out .

Yea .

Today I didn't feel like going to that store because I felt weak and I was not at all sure I can work . That's why Ed kept on insisting that he is gonna take leave today but I just locked the main door pushing him out .

I was trying new recipes for Ed , when my phone rang and it was Lin .

She kept on calling me , because I know its Ed who is compelling her to call ' cause I was not at all attending his calls .

I answered the phone and she asked whether she should come home to see me .

I declined the offer because its the first time all alone without Nick or Lin or Ed .

They are just over thinking .

And I'll tell why . 

Before wedding I used live with Lin & Nick and I never took any leave even I have a big hangover . And now when am married , I am with Ed and he would never leave me alone and when he goes for work I go for work too , so am not alone. 

They doesn't want me to be alone .

And now since I was feeling a bit ' weak ' for the first time , they all are tensed and am not  allowing anyone to stay with me because am Fine . Can't I even stay back to be alone . Am married for god sake !

That's not a big thing.

And I know that .

See even when am having those ' tumor ' problems I never felt weak or the urge to puke , I just pass out . 

Maybe it can be because of the tumor but I can call them when I want .

I know am being stubborn .

I was still talking to Lin I felt an urge to puke , keeping her on hold , I ran to washroom .

I think its the left over spaghetti I ate last night .

After puking , when I resumed her call she was really angry . By really angry I mean really really angry . I could hear her gritting her teeth . She discontinued the call telling she is coming over .

I didn't try to argue with her 'cause she would be more mad .

After some minutes the door bell rang and I opened it to see an angry Lin standing with her arms crossed over her chest .

She came in hugged me tight , honestly I was taken aback because I thought she would be throwing a fit of tantrum .

Pulling back she sighed .

" You know Jen ..If Ed gets to know that you're going around puking then he would be hurt ..that you didn't tell him . That guy is trying to look after you , trying to make you happy and you're hurting him . Don't hide anything from him ..atleast do that ! " she yelled and I felt tears pooling my eyes .

Taking a deep breathe I took a step backwards and her face softened .

" I didn't want to be a burden to you guys ! I was trying to look after myself . " I spat and she looked at me in  disbelief .

" I'm sorry Lin . Im sorry for always being a burden to you , Nick and now Ed . You guys spent your college days looking after me knowing I was no use to you that I will die soon ... .Am sor-" I was cut off when she slapped me .

" You were never a burden for me or Nick ! Never ! You're like my sister . You're our bestfriend , we grew up together , we faced everything together . How ..how could you ever be a burden for us ?! And about Ed , he loves you goddammit ! He loves you like crazy ! He is trying to make you as happy as possible . He wants to save you from death . That poor guy doesn't even know his efforts are in vain ! " she said crying and I felt like slapping myself . Suddenly I felt an urge to puke again . I ran to washroom covering my mouth and puked . Lin pulled up my hair and patted my back . Washing my mouth I dried my face and got out off the washroom .

I turned and hugged Lin who was following me wiping her tears . She hugged me back quickly and then I felt my eyes blurring, my head went heavy and then everything went black .

***

I have always felt like a burden to Lin & Nick , watching them worry for me made me feel guilty . And watching Ed do whatever he could do to make me happy , I felt more miserable . I love him more than myself and it hurts to see him struggle to look after me and I can't promise him anything in return .

I slowly opened my eyes , sat up straight , I was feeling better than before, I turned my gaze  and saw Lin standing by my side smiling . Other than her there was no one in that small room which I think is a hospital room .

Squealing she hugged me and made me stand up . She made me walk towards the door and opened it slightly so that we could peek out I think so . She gestured me to look and I peek through the small opening .

Ed was standing beside Nick and he was laughing . I turned my head to look at Lin raising my eyebrow she gestured me to listen . I strained my ear and the voices became clear . I froze when I heard what he was saying. 

" Oh god ! Am going to be a DAD Nick ! Oh my god ! Am going to be a Father ! " he said laughing and hugging the daylights out of Nick .

I turned around to face Lin and she was smiling widely at me.

Placing my hand on my stomach I looked up at Lin who nodded .

Tears filled my eyes when I realized what was happening .

Am going to be a MOM .

I want this baby for him . He would never be alone .

Smiling I spun around on my heels , opening the door I ran towards Ed who turned around smiling . Wiping my tears I hugged him , he lifted me up , wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him hard .

Pulling back I leaned my forehead onto his smiling and breathing hard .

" Am going to be a MOM , Ed . " I said smiling and unwrapping my legs from his waist .

He nodded ," Yes you are ! We're  going to be the best parents . " he said and kissed my forehead .

I hugged him tight placing my head on his chest listening to his heart pounding .

Pulling back he wiped my tears and smiled .

We turned to face Nick and Lin looking at us smiling .

Nick slowly walked towards me and I hugged him tight . He pulled back and gave a kiss on my forehead .

" Congrats Princess ! " he said hugging me again .

Lin pulled me away from Nick and hugged me tight .

" Oh my god ! I can't believe this Jen . It's like god listened to you're prayers . ....eeee! Am going to be an aunt ! Oh my- " She said hugging me tighter making it difficult to breathe .

" Lin ... ? -"

" Oh my gawd !!!--"

" ADALIN ?! Am not able to bre..breathe ! " I said cutting her off breathing hard .

" Oh ! Am sorry ! " She said pulling back . And Nick laughed out while Lin pouted .

Ed wrapped his arm around my waist and hugged me from back .

" We have such a crazy family .. Don't we ? " he whispered and I nodded laughing looking at Nick and Lin who were arguing over whether its a girl or boy and who will decide their name .

Seriously ?

Looking at them I felt guilty that how could I even think that looking after me was even a burden for them . They looked so happy that I realized am so lucky to have these three beside me .Everything happened so fast but am happy that all of this is happening. There is no right time for anything to happen! If you're ready and you really want it then its the right time.

I will bring our baby to this world no matter what . This baby will support Ed when am gone . I will survive till that .Mommy and Daddy needs you baby , I thought to myself , touching my belly.