THE GREAT EGG OUTING
1077 Words
------
Sophia had barely stepped one foot into the classroom the next morning when it began.
“Look, it’s Mom and Dad!” someone shouted from the back row.
Her stomach sank. She glanced sideways at Max, who was walking in step with her, looking far too smug for her liking.
Immediately, a chorus of voices followed.
“Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Carter!”
“Where’s the baby?”
“Don’t fight in front of the child!”
Sophia froze in the doorway, cheeks burning so hot they could’ve fried an egg — which was ironic, given the circumstances.
Max, on the other hand, grinned like a rockstar. He gave the class a mock bow and said, “Thank you, thank you. Parenthood has been wonderful so far.”
That sent the class into fits of laughter.
Sophia whipped around and smacked him on the arm. “Stop encouraging them!” she hissed.
“Oh, come on,” Max said, leaning close so only she could hear. “You don’t like our couple name? What was it again… ‘Sax’? ‘Mophia’? Personally, I like ‘Sophax.’ Has a nice ring to it.”
She gaped at him. “You are unbearable.”
Jake and Lily were already perched at their desks, looking like they’d been waiting for this moment all morning. Jake clutched his chest dramatically. “My favorite couple has arrived! Did you two sleep well last night? Did Baby Egg behave?”
Sophia shot him a glare that could melt steel. “Shut. Up.”
Lily sighed dreamily, completely ignoring her friend’s death glare. “I vote for ‘Sax.’ It sounds cool and romantic.”
“Romantic?” Sophia choked. “There is NOTHING romantic here!”
The whole class erupted into fresh laughter. Max leaned back in his chair, smirking like the cat that got the cream. “Don’t fight it, Soph. They can see the chemistry.”
Her jaw dropped. “There is NO chemistry—!”
“Except the chemical reaction of you combusting every time I speak,” he cut in smoothly.
Sophia slapped her forehead against the desk with a groan. “This is my nightmare.”
---
The day didn’t improve from there. Throughout the lesson, her classmates whispered jokes, sent paper notes with doodles of stick-figure families labeled “Mom” and “Dad,” and kept asking how their “baby” was doing.
By the time the bell rang, Sophia felt like she’d aged ten years. She hurriedly packed her books, determined to escape before anyone could make another joke.
But of course, Max had other plans.
“Hey, parenting squad,” he called as he sauntered over to Jake and Lily. “Emergency family meeting. We need to plan the Egg Outing.”
“The what?” Sophia asked suspiciously.
Jake clapped his hands together. “Exactly what it sounds like. Sunday outing. The baby needs fresh air. We take Eggie out for a stroll.”
Sophia blinked. “Excuse me?”
Lily nodded earnestly. “It’ll be good for the project. Ms.Cher said we should treat the egg like a real child, right? Well, real kids go outside. They get family time.”
“No,” Sophia said flatly, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Absolutely not. I am NOT wasting my Sunday pretending to take a hard-boiled egg on a picnic.”
Jake gasped, scandalized. “Don’t call Eggie hard-boiled! That’s traumatizing for the child.”
Max leaned against a desk, grinning. “What’s the matter, Soph? Scared to be seen in public with me? Afraid people might think we’re actually a couple?”
Sophia’s eye twitched. “Don’t test me.”
“Oh, he's testing you,” Jake sang.
Lily stepped forward, putting on her most persuasive smile. “Come on, Sophia. Think of it as… extra credit. If we take pictures of the outing, we can use them for the project presentation. Cher will love it.”
Sophia hesitated. Extra credit did sound useful… but still. Spending an entire Sunday with Max was like volunteering to walk barefoot on hot coals.
“I don’t know,” she muttered.
“Please?” Lily pressed, clasping her hands like she was begging. “Do it for the project. Just think of it as… research. Nothing more.”
Max smirked. “Yeah, Soph. Strictly professional. No romance, I promise.”
She turned and glared at him. “If you say the word ‘romance’ one more time, I’m going to c***k this egg over your head.”
Jake laughed so hard he nearly fell off his chair.
Lily quickly jumped in, trying to smooth things over. “So it’s settled. Sunday. We’ll all meet up and take Eggie out for some wholesome family bonding.”
Sophia groaned. “Fine. But I’m only doing this because it’s for the project. And if any of you call me ‘Mom’ again, I’m walking out.”
Max tilted his head, grinning mischievously. “Sure thing, Mom.”
Sophia screamed into her hands.
---
Sunday came faster than she would’ve liked.
Sophia stood outside the park entrance, egg cradled in a little padded box she’d decorated with tissues for safety. She still couldn’t believe she’d been talked into this madness.
Max arrived next, carrying a ridiculous toy stroller he’d borrowed from his little cousin. “Ta-da! Our baby’s first ride.”
Sophia gawked at him. “You’ve lost your mind.”
Jake and Lily came last, armed with snacks and water bottles. Lily squealed at the stroller. “That’s perfect! It’ll make the outing look so real.”
Jake whipped out his phone, grinning. “Family photoshoot time.”
“No—!” Sophia started, but it was too late. Max scooped the egg box into the stroller, wheeled it dramatically like a proud dad, and struck a pose beside her.
Jake snapped the picture. “Awww, look at the happy parents!”
Sophia covered her face. “This is officially the most humiliating day of my life.”
Max leaned closer, voice low so only she could hear. “Relax, Soph. If nothing else, it’ll be fun watching you suffer.”
She groaned. “You’re evil.”
He winked. “And you love it.”
“DO NOT.”
Lily and Jake just laughed, already planning which park bench would make the best background for their ridiculous egg outing adventure.
—
- Writer
