Falling for the Bad Boy

"Yes, yes! Right there! Yes baby, harder! Don't Stop! Yessss!!" The moment I opened the door to my brother Christopher's room, I immediately regretted my decision.. Oh my f*cking god what did I just do?! I opened the door to his room, expecting to see my smiling twin's face waiting for me, to welcome me home... But instead I walked into him b*lls deep in some girl that I did not know. While she is on her hands and knees begging for more.. and he is lying over her sweaty back, obviously having recently finished his endeavors... Oh my god.. I learned my lesson, to never open a closed door without knocking.. I quickly slammed the door shut, wishing that I could burn the image I had just seen from my eyes.. I cannot believe that it was my first day here and that is what I walked in on.. Yet again, I was in the wrong place, at the wrong time.. I have always felt as if I were wading through my life.. A stranger, looking in from a distance, but never really there.. I knew that moving in with my father and twin brother would not change that fact.. It would not be the grounded feeling that I so desperately craved, but in fact, it would be yet another resting place that I would bounce back and forth to until the day that I am old enough to graduate and finally start my life... I knew that it would be different living with my father and brother after all of these years. Especially since it had been so long since I had seen them, and I had spent the past few years with my mother.. As much as I loved my father and brother, I could not help but feel like a stranger in their world.. A stranger in their house.. This house has not changed one bit.. Clearly lacking a female touch, it was all dark colors and dirty bathrooms.. The fridge contained eggs, bologna, mayo and mustard.. There was a package of white bread on the counter, telling me that my brother had most likely been surviving off bologna sandwiches up until that point.. Something that was not appealing to me, having lived off of them every time that I visited my father in the past.. The curtains were closed, giving the house an even darker appearance. However, it was most likely like that, due to my father and brother trying to darken the place enough that I would not see the dust bunnies that had accumulated in the closet corners... As well as the mass amounts of chip crumbs on the couch, which I also knew all too well from my visits here.. It did not appear like they had cleaned anything since my last visit.. I was not an OCD person that needed a place to be spotless, but I did enjoy being able to walk barefoot on a hardwood floor without the dirty remnants of months worth of crap sticking to the pads of my feet. My father and brother were two peas in a pod, and as long as they could shower, sh*t, and shave, they really had no other uses for a home... Lucky me. I walked down the hall towards the room that had been mine every time that I had come to visit over the years, which was not very often. Especially once I had gotten older and began working part time here and there, it finally gave me an excuse for not having to travel to visit my father.. As I reached the door to that all too familiar room, although it was reserved for me.. It never really felt welcoming or warm. It did not feel like a room that I would choose for myself.. I had never felt at home in this house, and to be honest... I could not wait to leave.. "Oh my god. Em! I am soo sorry.. I completely forgot that you were supposed to be arriving today. I am sorry you had to see that." My brother's voice sounded sincere and apologetic, and yet I could tell that he was trying to hold his laugh back as he clung a towel to his waist line.. "Trust me, I could have gone my entire life without seeing that.. I think I am permanently blind now and traumatized for life." I knew that I was being dramatic, but I was not joking about being traumatized.. I knew that was an image that I would struggle to erase from my mind, although I so desperately wanted to. "Now, now, you are fine. By the way, welcome home! Dad wanted to be here, but unfortunately he had to work the next few days. He will be gone by the end of the week. Did you take a cab from the airport? I am sorry, I would have picked you up, but I obviously got distracted.. " My brother had a smirk on his face as he glanced back towards his bedroom door, obviously thinking about the girl behind it.. Gross.. I was not surprised by the fact that my father was not here to greet me on my first day of living in his house officially.. My Dad had been a detective since before I could remember, and he often had to take jobs out of town, chasing after answers to unsolved cases.. I used to miss him when he would work away from home when I was little.. But now, after living without him for so long, it felt almost normal for him not to be present in my day-to-day life. "I had a feeling he would be working. That is fine. I am pretty tired, after waiting at the airport so long." I was somewhat teasing Chris, but at the same time, a little hurt that he had forgotten about me so easily.. "I will just unpack my things and get settled into my room.. You can go join your friend.." I nodded towards my brother's bedroom door, knowing that he was probably itching to return to his guest.. "Just please do not let me hear anything.. What I saw was bad enough, I would like to wash it from my brain.." I joked around with my brother, suddenly feeling bad for making him feel guilty about not picking me up at the airport.. "She is my girlfriend, not my friend. Her name is Destiny.. I am sure you two will be great friends. She was excited about meeting you, but now she is too embarrassed to face you.. I will introduce you two when you have more time to forget what you just saw." My brother elbowed my ribs jokingly as he turned to walk back to his bedroom. "Although the name Destiny does sound like a stripper's name.. I appreciate the fact that she is willing to give me some time to recover from that before coming at me full force.. I would be happy to meet her in a few days." I teased my brother as I headed back into my room as well, eager to escape such an awkward conversation with my twin. I could not wait to have a moment alone by myself.. I felt like all day I had to face people and put on an act like I was happy to see them, and happy to sit next to their body odored pits on the plane for five hours... I put on an act, saying goodbye to my mom and her new husband, like I did not in fact feel like they were ditching me to go off on some grand adventure, as if having a teenager at home was too great of a burden to have to bare.. It was all an act, and I could not lie that, at this moment in time, I did not feel like I had a place in this world that was meant for me. I felt more lost than anything else.. The only thing that I was clinging onto at this moment in time was the fact that in two short weeks, I turn eighteen, and will finally have the chance to make my own decisions, and find my own path in this world.