Denied Love

Love...oh...Love.... People confess their love in the most romantic settings-beautiful places, delicious food, and soft, sweet music. But when love ends, everything turns upside down. A broken heart, a crumbling sidewalk at night, heavy rain soaking through clothes and blending with tears, and the humiliation of being watched by strangers. All of these are key elements of a breakup. "Phrapai." A young woman with an oval-shaped face stood under the pouring rain, holding an umbrella. Before her, someone knelt on the wet ground. Her brown eyes lowered, gazing at the person who was about to become a part of her past. Her face remained calm, but guilt flickered in her eyes-so different from the pleading gaze looking up at her. That beautiful, captivating face was stained with tears, being washed away by the relentless rain. Anyone who saw it would surely feel a pang of sorrow. "Pai... no. I won't break up with you." "Praenarin Kittithakorn" is a thirty-five-year-old woman who had never bowed to anyone-except the woman she loved. Her slender hands trembled as she reached out to touch the person before her in this heartbreaking moment. The streetlights illuminated the night, but her vision blurred behind a curtain of tears. Her sorrowful eyes looked up at the woman standing before her, silently pleading. Once again, Praenarin found herself kneeling on the ground, not caring whether her exposed knees would be wounded. All that mattered was holding on to the woman she loved most-the one who had been by her side for the past five years. Phrapai was the woman she had met in a lesbian bar years ago. She was the only person Praenarin had truly loved since losing her mother. She had already planned to propose soon, to build a future together. But now, that dream was crumbling before her eyes. "Let's break up." The woman in the elegant dress stood under her umbrella, shielding herself from the rain, as she spoke those heart-wrenching words for the second time-reaffirming her decision. She had already said it once before, but now she was making it clear. Desperate, Praenarin moved closer, wrapping her arms around the woman's legs, hoping-praying-that she would change her mind and reconsider their love. "Pai, can't you stay? I love you. I'll do anything-just don't leave me." She had already been given time to think, and now, even after this second confirmation, Praenarin still clung to the hope that Phrapai might reconsider. "I'm sorry... but I really can't choose you." Phrapai gently pried Praenarin's hands away and stepped back, leaving her kneeling in the rain, drenched and alone, as if the heavens themselves were mocking her pain. No matter how much she begged, the eyes that looked back at her gave the same answer. They couldn't go on anymore. She was being abandoned-again. And this time, she had given her love wholeheartedly, without holding anything back. "Why? Don't you love me?" Praenarin was still kneeling in the same spot. Her once beautiful face now looked dull and exhausted as she looked up at the woman who was about to become a stranger. Tears streamed down her cheeks, making her look utterly pathetic, hoping for even a shred of sympathy. "I like men. I'm a terrible person. I was dating someone else while still with you. Please, Rin, don't love me anymore. Hate me if you must-it's better that way." The words hit her harder than the cold rain pouring down on her skin. They made it painfully clear-love and attachment alone weren't enough to keep two people together forever. She had always known Phrapai was bisexual. That had never been a secret. But she had never prepared herself for the possibility that her lover might one day waver and be drawn to a man. She had trusted her completely. But love had made her a fool-a fool who couldn't even bring herself to be angry about being cheated on. If only Phrapai would reconsider, she would forgive everything. "Pai, I love you. No matter what mistakes you've made, I'll forgive you." She smiled, full of fragile hope, opening her arms to embrace Phrapai's flaws and missteps. But the response she received shattered that hope into pieces. "I'm really sorry... but we can't be together anymore. Forget me. Goodbye. Take care of yourself." And just like that, the woman who had once been the sweetest, most intoxicating love of her life walked away-dragging Praenarin's shattered heart across the ground with her. This was yet another deep wound, another painful lesson in love. In over ten years of falling in love, she had always been the one left behind-the one drowning in heartbreak, forced to bear the pain alone. She sat there, sobbing uncontrollably in the rain, not caring who saw her. Memories of their happier days played vividly in her mind, but the pain of loss was so overwhelming that it swallowed up any trace of those good times. She remained like that, lost in grief, until she suddenly realized that the cold raindrops were no longer hitting her directly. Something was blocking them. Then, she saw a pair of sneakers stop right in front of her. Lifting her tear-streaked face, she found herself looking at Khemjira-the daughter of her father's close friend. Their families had known each other for years, though Praenarin wouldn't say they were particularly close. Khemjira was just her father's friend's daughter, someone her father had always been fond of, treating her like his own child. Khemjira had been watching the heartbreaking scene unfold for a while now. And there was no way she was going to let this woman sit here crying all alone. She was still in her university uniform, fresh from her final exams. The moment she found out that the woman she loved was facing the most painful moment of her life, she had rushed through her exam and left as soon as she could. "Get up." Khemjira extended her hand, offering a warm smile filled with encouragement to the woman she loved. She had loved her for so long, even though Praenarin had someone else in her heart. Yet, she had always kept that love hidden, never letting it show-until now. Praenarin looked at the girl holding the umbrella for her, then at the slender hand reaching out. Just as she was about to take it, she hesitated and pulled her hand back. With what little strength she had left, she forced herself to stand, her body trembling from the cold. Then, without a word, she started walking along the riverside, lost in a daze, as if her mind had completely shut down. The pain in her heart was unbearable. It was suffocating. She felt like breathing itself was a punishment. Even though Praenarin ignored her, Khemjira followed closely behind, unwilling to leave her alone in this state. She wasn't sure what Praenarin planned to do-whether she just needed to cry until she felt better, or whether she wanted to scream at the sky in frustration. But whatever it was, Khemjira refused to let her face it alone. Then, suddenly, Praenarin stopped. She turned to face the vast, dark river. And then... she moved forward, her steps slow and deliberate, as if preparing to jump. Jump? Wait-no! "Rin! Don't! Don't do it!" Khemjira dropped the umbrella and rushed forward, wrapping her arms around Praenarin's waist just as she was about to leap. She knew. She knew Praenarin couldn't swim. And she wasn't about to let her go. "Let me go! I want to die! There's no Pai anymore-there's no reason for me to live! Let me go!" "But I won't let you die! Please, don't do this! Your father is waiting for you. Come home." Khemjira held on tightly, her thin arms locking around Praenarin, refusing to let go no matter how much she struggled. The rain soaked them both to the bone, the cold seeping deep into their skin, but Khemjira didn't care. She wouldn't let anything happen to this woman. "It hurts! I want to die! Don't you hear me?!" "I won't let you die." "Why do you even care?!" "Because I love you." Everything fell silent. For a moment, it felt as if even the pouring rain had frozen in the air. "I love you, Rin. And I will never let the person I love destroy herself. Please, don't do this." Praenarin stood frozen for several seconds after those words left Khemjira's lips. Then, suddenly, she wrenched herself free, tears still streaming down her face. Her voice trembled as she spat out the cruelest words she could muster. "I hate love. If you love me, then I'll hate you too." She declared it with conviction. If love only ever led her to this kind of pain, she vowed-she would never love again. Khemjira looked at her with understanding. "Hating love..." She knew exactly what Praenarin was feeling right now. And she knew that forcing comfort onto someone who wasn't ready to receive it-like pressing medicine onto an open wound-would only make things worse. But would she give up? Never. She had never been in love before, but she had always known one thing: when she loved someone, she would love them with all her heart. She would never hurt the person she loved. Maybe not today Maybe not now. But one day, she would make the woman she loved fall for her-just like she had fallen for her. She would use her love to heal Praenarin's wounds, even if it seemed impossible. Khemjira looked away briefly, letting out a slow breath to steady herself. She didn't want to see Praenarin cry, but when she turned back, she knew she couldn't just stand there and do nothing. Slowly, she stepped closer. Then, gently, she wrapped her arms around Praenarin's exhausted body, offering herself as something solid to lean on. "It's okay," she whispered. "Cry if you need to. But remember, I'll always be here with you. Let's go home, okay? Let's eat something good. Your dad is waiting for you. Everything will be okay, I promise." "Khem. it hurts. I can't take it anymore. What did I do wrong? Why did she do this to me?" "It's okay," Khemjira hands, now ice-cold from the rain, reached up to gently stroke Praenarin's hair, an instinctive act of comfort. The sobs in her arms didn't stop. She didn't know how long they stood there, but she knew one thing for sure. Praenarin was hurting so much that it made Khemjira's heart ache, too.