Stockholm Syndrome

Chapter Seventeen

"Wake up," I heard a voice, along with a tugging feeling on my ankle. That proceeded to me being almost rolled off the couch as the result of Hal violently shaking me awake. "Get up, you're on the remote." He repeated. I groaned before rolling over and grabbing the tv remote from under me, placing it on the coffee table, and then closing my eyes again, not moving.

"Why did you sleep on the couch anyway?" He asked, shoving my feet off the couch and sitting where they used to be. I bent my knees then, curling up in a ball of sleep. "Frankie!"

"Mmh- couldn't sleep. Watched the news." I replied, hearing the tv sound come back on as he un-muted it.

"See anything?"

"Mhm,"

"And what was that?"

"Dad's dead. My disappearance is connected to the deaths of Faith McGregor and Robert McCracken." I opened my eyes and looked at him, waiting for a reaction. I was still curled up in my comfortable sleep ball, though the tiredness was slowly fading away as I regained consciousness.

"So they found your dad?" Hal confirmed, and I nodded. He hesitated slightly before asking another question. "So... You want me to take you in...?"

I nodded slowly, then sat up on the couch. I flattened out my hair and yawned before turning my attention to Hal again.

"You're still sure about this?" I just looked at him. "'Course you are." He grumbled and I chuckled lightly.

"Yeah, we've already gotten this far..." It's not like I would stop now. All I wanted was to be able to be free again, to walk around outside without hiding, not have to worry about some crazy dude that wanted to kill me, and most of all, go on dates with Hal. Or just go outside with him. Just, to be with him publicly. And hopefully, I could convince him to stop killing people and get a real job. That would also be nice.

"Is it bad that I really wanna f**k right now?" Hal stated out of the blue, causing me to send him a side glance from where my eyes were previously trained on the tv. "Y'know, cause I could go to jail." He finished. It amazed me that he could be so forward with everything. Either he didn't think before he spoke or he actually just knew I was head over heels into him and wouldn't second guess a thing he said. He knew I would do anything he asked me to whenever he wanted it. It wasn't the most healthy thing on my part but it was shamefully true.

"I, uh... No?"

"Like, no as in you don't think it's bad that I really wanna f**k right now, or no as in you don't want to f**k?" He asked, and I looked down at my lap. I couldn't ever make eye contact in these situations. I wasn't really awkward over the whole s*x thing anymore to tell you the truth, I was actually pretty confident. I just didn't really know how to answer his question.

"Well first things first, I don't f**k. That makes it seem so bland-"

"So like was that no as in it's not bad that I really wanna have s*x with you right now or was that a no as in you don't wanna have s*x with me?" He rephrased, making me exhale through my nose in a half laugh at how needy he was. As I said, I never took him for a w***e until he got horny. That's the only time he ever really was s****l. If he's not down-set on getting laid right then and there, there would be nothing even remotely close to an innuendo coming from his mouth.

"Why don't you just start over..." I suggested. I wasn't gonna f**k him just because he felt like it, I don't think we're really at that point in the relationship yet. I don't even know if we had a relationship at all. I mean yeah, of course, I'm helplessly into him and he clearly has feelings for me too but we're not considered 'dating'. Not to mention I'm still confused over that whole 'I love you' thing. I'm sure it was nothing. But either way, I don't wanna enter a relationship based on s*x. I'm not that easy.

"Okay.." He didn't really seem disappointed at all, he was just thinking about what to say. He then scooted closer to me, placing a pale hand on my knee. "Y'know... I'm really stressed out right now." I raised an eyebrow at him, very aware of the fact that his hand was slowly creeping up my thigh, even if it was only by a centimetre every five seconds. I knew what he was doing. His voice was only above a whisper when he began to speak again. "When I take you in to the police, there's a lot of things that could happen... They could throw me in jail. And then I wouldn't be able to see you. And if we do get by successfully then there's a chance you won't wanna be with me anymore..." I could tell by the look of doubt and pain in his eyes that there was some truth there. He may have just come up with that on the spot but it was true.

"What if I don't see you again? I just wanna have you one last time... Just in case." He was basically in my lap at that point, facing me. He was speaking his seductive words right next to my ear, and it sent chills down my spine. I moved my hand to his closest knee, pulling him fully over my lap so he was straddling me. He placed his arms around my shoulders, then retracted one to cup the side and back of my neck gently. I leaned into his hand, closing my eyes and letting out a heavy breath through my nose.

"I guess you're right... I never really thought about that shit." I admitted. "I don't want them to take you away..."

"But they might..." He bit at my earlobe softly. "And I don't wanna miss out on this..."

"You wear me out..." I sighed, finally giving in.

"Please?" He asked one last time, and I nodded slightly. I was actually really worried at that point. I think I wanted to have him just as much as he wanted me now, due to the fact that I might actually not get to see him again. A small smile crept onto his lips, but it was short-lived as his facial expression changed into one of sadness.

"You okay?"

"Yeah- I'm just. I don't know. What I said kinda just sunk in..." He told me, and I nodded.

"Me too..." He leaned his head on mine then, eyes closed and breath shaky. At first, his goal was to say anything that would get me to sleep with him but it actually affected him. Now I just think he wanted me to hold him. And that worked out perfectly because I wanted him to hold me too. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer to me, burying my face in his shoulder and neck, taking in his scent. I think it's his scent that I would miss the most if he were to get taken in. Other than him, of course.

"Frankie-" he spoke softly, pulling away from the embrace slightly so he could look at me. I made a small noise in response. "I-" He sighed. "I'll tell you later... Okay?"

"Alright..." I agreed. He placed his hand on my jaw again, and just examined my face before slowly leaning forward to place a gentle kiss to my lips. I could tell he was having a really hard time with the fact that he might have to leave me. Maybe even more so than I was.

Maybe he had some backwards version of Stockholm syndrome towards me. I mean, I don't know much about it- I didn't know if it was the whole 'you're the only human interaction I have so I'm gonna fall in love with you' thing or if it was the fact that your captor takes care of you and basically gives you a free pass out of life so you grow fond of them. If it's the former, it would make sense if Hal had developed something like that for me. He's not allowed to have friends or family with his choice of lifestyle and I'm the only person he has and will ever have if he doesn't change his ways. I hope that's not the case. Just as he hopes the same for me.

"Let's go to your room.." I whispered against his lips, and he just kissed me again as a response before getting up off my lap. I took his hand and led him to the room, closing the door behind us and then closing the gap between us again, his back against the door. Lust was beginning to pool back into his eyes as I pushed my hips forward to meet his, my hands low on his waist with a decent amount of pressure. His hands came up to my chest as he pushed me backwards until the back of my legs hit the edge of the bed. I sat down, leaning back as I pulled Hal on top of me.

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I didn't even know what to think about. He had just told me something I wasn't expecting to hear, especially right now. It was probably the best time he could've said it, though. My forehead was still rested on his shoulder, and I turned my head slightly to bury my face in his neck. I was starting to catch my breath again, and so was he. I rolled off of him moments later, laying on my back beside him and staring at the ceiling. I felt the bed move, indicating that Hal had gotten up. I opened my eyes to see him pull on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. I did the same, sitting up and pulling on a pair of sweatpants.

I didn't even know what I was supposed to say to him. I didn't know if I could say what he said back to him. What I feel for him does feel like my idea of love but how am I supposed to know what love actually is? He's the first person I've had a chance to feel something for, what if this is just a petty crush? Maybe this is what teenaged girls feel for that hot guy on the football team. Maybe it is love. Right now I don't want to tell him until I do know. But at the same time, I might not see him again and I'll never get the chance to.

The difference between me and him is he's probably had lots of relationships and he could tell the difference between like and love. I've never dated anyone or knew anyone enough to like them so I've never really felt like this before. So there's no way in knowing what it is.

"We should uh... Get going soon," Hal said, tearing me from my thoughts. I must've looked crazy, just sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the floor. And I don't know how long I had been doing that for.

"right" I agreed, standing up and pulling a Dead Kennedy's shirt on over my head. I didn't really care how I was dressed, it would probably be more believable if I showed up to the police station in something raggedy and worn than something new and clean since I supposedly ran away.

"Oh, and um, sorry... If I said anything that bothered you" Hal said awkwardly. He was fiddling with his thumbs and refusing to look at me. I felt a pang in my heart when he said that, he probably had this whole scenario played out in his head and I didn't comply with the script, I didn't say it back.

"No... It's fine. I just don't know what to say..." I admitted. "I do really really like you, but I'm still a teenager y'know and I don't even know what that means"

"That's okay. Either way, I just wanted you to know, it's fine if you don't feel the same."

"I might. I do have feelings for you, I just don't know what to call them yet."

"Well don't stab yourself over it." He chuckled lightly, standing up and placing a kiss to my lips before pulling a pair of jeans on and making his way to the bedroom door. "Let's go."