I am the Night - the last She-Wolf

Chapter 16 - Light

A little girl is running over bright green grass. A large white wolf chasing her. Her laughter fills the air as her pale white hair tumbles in the wind. She just learned how to walk. Still wobbly on her tiny feet.

She stumbles and falls into the grass. Still laughing with glee as the wolf stands protectively above her, licking her face. “Careful, little Luna, or you get hurt,” he says to her. His voice is soft and warm. Echoing in her tiny head. She doesn’t understand it yet. But one day she will.

“Alastair!” A woman cries out his name. The wolf’s head snaps up, sensing something is wrong. He can feel her fear. The little girl on the grass starts crying, but he needs her to be quiet. “Alastair, take her and run!” the woman yells.

Somewhere in the distance people are screaming. Something is coming. Something dark. Something evil.

Out of nowhere another wolf appears and hovers over the girl. He’s here to protect her. “I’m sorry, Luna, but I need to find your mother,” the white wolf says and bolts off. She is his one true love. His mate. He cannot lose her. He will come back for the child. He will save them both.

The girl watches the wolf disappear and darkness slowly takes over. The meadow turns black. Trees die around her. The wolf, here to protect her whimpers and whines as the life is sucked out of him.

Creatures creeping and crawling around her. Making her cry out in fear. She can’t see, but she can feel them around her. Hear their sharp teeth clicking. Darkness comes and darkness takes her.

White fur dirty with blood. His pained cry echoed through the night. He lost them. Both of them. His body aches. Death is stroking his muzzle with a cruel hand. He’s whispering to him, calling out his name. His soul torn apart. Broken into pieces. Pieces, not even the Goddess could repair.

Darkness. Deadly silence. Except for a pair of bare feet shuffling over the blood-soaked soil. A woman in a red cloak. Her face hidden from view. She is mourning. She lost a daughter tonight. She lost her grandchild. The toddler lies still next to the body of a brown wolf.

Grief has taken control. It makes her decide something dangerous. Something forbidden. But no one will ever know. She kneels next to the toddler and lifts her head to the heavens.

Light. Pure white light. Exploding all around. Blindingly bright in the dark.

I jolt upright. Gasping for air, as the surge of energy hits my chest. I’m disoriented. I have no clue where I am or how I got there. All I know is that I’m outside. The moon shines brighter than usual. Its light reflects off the white snow. Two wolves are resting close by, briefly glancing at me, before they resume whatever they’ve been doing.

Someone closer to me moves. His tall frame takes in a lot of space. “What’s wrong?” he asks, his voice low. Familiar, yet strange. I don’t know him. But I do. I think.

I flinch a little when he reaches out to check on me. Check my temperature. I feel alright. Better than I have in days. “Say something please,” he sighs.

“W... why... what... where is Cillian? Logan?” His face turns cold and he looks away from me. “Are they okay?”

“Yes,” he hisses through clenched teeth.

“Are... are you?” I probably should be scared of the stranger lying by my side, but I am not. He’s not an enemy. I’m sure of it. Something tells me that he and his wolf friends saved us.

He doesn’t answer, but his eyes stay fixed on mine. The way he looks at me is unsettling. It makes me nervous. I feel like I should move away from him, but I don’t want to.

I sigh softly and turn to lie on my back, staring up at the dark sky. It’s a beautiful night. The sky is so clear I feel like I can count all the stars.

“Nathaniel?” I don’t have anything particular to say to him, but I wanted to test out his name on my tongue. His stare is intense when I turn my head to look at him. I don’t know why he keeps looking at me like that, but I think I like it. If only I wouldn’t be covered in bruises, dried blood, and all that ick from the past couple of days. “I’m... I’m Mika, just in case you didn’t know.”

“I know,” he says.

“Oh,” I divert my gaze and turn back to look at the stars. “Where are my friends?” I ask without looking at him. He doesn’t seem to like me talking about them, but I have to know.

“Inside,” he says.

“Inside where?” I lift my head to find a little cottage a few feet away. I wonder why I’m not with them. Why am I out here with the wolves? Not that I mind, neither Logan nor Cillian would just leave me alone with strangers. Especially after what happened the other day.

I think those wolves were Rogues. They wanted to take us and kill us later. I’m pretty sure we would have ended up as a nice dinner for them.

A shudder runs down my spine at the thought. The way the man licked the blood from my fingers. It was scary. The hunger in his eyes was.

“Are you cold?” Nathaniel asks and I feel him scoot a little closer to me. His body seems to be a radiator. He’s hot. Probably due to the fact that he’s a Lycan. He’s not bothered by the cold. Neither am I.

“No,” I whisper and turn to look at him again. He is dangerously close. I can almost feel his breath tickling my cheek. “I... who... where did you come from?” I ask, “Was it a coincidence you were out there when those... wolves took us?”

“Yes and no,” his answer holds very little information. It bothers me. I feel like he’s holding back. Sure, it’s none of my business what he was doing out here, but I want to know and I’m sick and tired of everyone keeping me in the dark. I want him to tell me the truth.

“Why were you there?” I ask, my tone demanding. A slow smile creeps over his lips. He’s amused. That only makes me angrier.

“Just let me get this straight, so I know what I’m dealing with. You are barely able to move. You just escaped probably certain death, you wake up and you demand to know why I saved your life? You don’t know me! At all! I might be one of the bad guys! Actually, I’ve been wondering what made you work up the nerve to free me from that trap.”

“Which by the way got me into a s**t load of trouble,” I mutter. Something flashes in his eyes when I say those words. Anger again. It’s like I can see the wolf right there in his eyes. “They knew I helped you,” I add carefully, “and that somehow made me a spy. And after they discovered that I’m... well, I’m not... never mind.”

“Tell me!” he says. His turn to demand answers.

“You first,” I say in a low voice, “why are you here?”

“Because you were in pain,” he says, “what happened after they took you back to the compound? It was him, right? Cillian? I remember him!”

“He didn’t-,” I sigh and lower my gaze, “he didn’t know better.”

“He didn’t know better?” he hisses and I jump a little when he’s suddenly on his feet, stalking towards the cottage. I don’t know how I know, but he’s out for blood. Cillian's to be exact.

“No!” I struggle to get up too, but I manage to walk a few steps until I fall back into the snow with a pained groan.

“Please,” I call after him, “don’t!” To my surprise, he stops. The wolves both watch the scene. They are not moving, but I can feel their eyes on us. “Please,” I add softly, wrapping my arms around my aching middle.

I watch him. His back to me. His hands curled into fists, “I tell you what happened, just... it wasn’t... it wasn’t his fault. I guess... I guess it was only a matter of time until they figured out I was lying to them. I tried to escape after all. That didn’t sit too well with the Hunters.”

“Why escape?” his voice is shaking with anger as he stays put. Not moving an inch.

“Because I didn’t belong there. Cillian saved my life a couple of years ago and I stayed with them. Mostly because I have nowhere to go. And I don’t think they would have let me leave. I’m a liability.”

He slowly turns to face me, “a liability how?”

“Because of this,” I say, pointing at the claw mark, stretching from my cheek down my neck, disappearing beyond the collar of my jacket. I see him exhale slowly, his breath visible in the frosty night air.

“And what is that?” he finally asks, taking a few steps closer.

“I told you,” I say, “that night. I told you I had an unpleasant encounter with a wolf.”

He steps even closer so that I have to look up at him from my position on the ground. He seems even taller towering over me, with a serious expression on his face. His features seem sharper in the harsh moonlight. Sculpting him into a beautiful statue.

“I... I was on my way home,” I start, holding his gaze, “I shouldn’t have gone by myself, but I was impatient and I just wanted to get home. I don’t know how or why, but I managed to stumble across two men. I thought they were drunk and I wasn’t having any of their bullshit. I kinda don’t think before I speak,” I say, shrugging, “it’s a bad habit I guess. It’s my grandmother's fault. She taught me to always speak my mind. To be... brave.”

“Those men weren’t just men?” he presses impatiently.

“They turned and I ran. I was already hurt and I think it would have been pretty easy for them to kill me right then, right there, but they... they chased me,” I say, not able to hold his gaze any longer. I sink back onto my heels and dig my fingers into the icy snow, distracting me from the sickening feeling bubbling up in the pit of my stomach.

“I ran even though I knew it was hopeless. I knew I was going to die. I think... I think I did,” I say, “in a way,” I shrug and close my eyes, remembering all the pain I had to endure ever since that fateful night.

“Did the wolf bite you?” Nathaniel asks his voice icy cold. I don’t know why, but I decide that I trust him with the truth, so I nod.

“Why are you alive?” he breathes out the question I feel I had to answer so many times I lost count.

His fingers gently lift my chin to meet his gaze, “answer me!” His voice stays soft, but the command in his tone leaves no room for argument.

“To torture me?” I whisper, “I’d choose death over this anytime,” I say and his soft gaze turns angry again. “Don’t look at me like that. You have no idea what it has been like. You don’t get to judge me! You know nothing about me! You... you know nothing,” my voice breaks and I push his hand away, slowly trying to get up. I shake him off when he tries to help.

“Mika,” he sighs, “you’re hurt.”

“Yeah, well, tell me something new,” I mutter and as I turn away from him, I wipe away the tears.

I slowly make my way over to the cottage. The door isn’t locked, but both Logan and Cillian are on their feet, ready to pounce on me when I enter.

“It’s just me,” I say carefully.

“Mika!” Cillian moves quickly, pulling me against his chest, holding on tight.

“Ow,” I complain and he lets go, both hands on my cheeks.

“Are you okay? I tried to get them to let you go, but that... Nathanial wouldn’t let you out of his sight.”

“It’s okay,” I say and sink down on a wooden chair.

“Are you?” Logan asks concerned, “you’ve had quite a fever when we first got here.”

“I did?” I press my hand against my forehead, “I... I feel okay?!”

“Did you cry?” Cillian asks, crouching down in front of me, his hands on my thighs, “what did that sorry excuse of a dog say to you?”

“I’m fine,” I mumble, “I just... is there any chance this house has a shower? Anything?”

“No,” Logan sighs, “unfortunately it’s frozen. We’ve already tried. Sorry.”

I keep my eyes on Logan wondering how I was able to hear his voice in my head. Wondering if he’s some kind of telepath.

“Logan? I heard your voice in my head,” I start, “are you... can you read my mind?”

He chuckles and shakes his head, “no, it’s just a way wolves communicate. I guess since we are shoved into this situation together, we accidentally formed a little pack of our own. We can communicate that way because you’re part of my pack.”

“This is a weird pack, isn’t it?” I can’t help but laugh at the thought. A wolf, a girl that doesn’t quite know what the hell she is, and the Hunter.

I look back at Cillian. He returns the smile and lifts his hand to caress my cheek. “I’d say so,” he agrees.

“What happens now?” I ask, “are we going with them?” I point at the door where Nathaniel and his friends are still stationed.

“Yes,” Logan says with a nod.

“Nathaniel knows I’m... I’m different,” I say carefully.

“Yes,” Logan nods, “I think he has known all along. Did you talk to him?”

“A little,” I shrug, “I don’t think he likes you guys very much.”

Logan laughs and nods at Cillian, “he despises him especially.”

I have noticed that too. I wonder what happened between them while I was unconscious.

“I didn’t do anything to him.”

“You don’t have to. It’s what you do to her, that bothers him,” he says pointing at me.

“Because she’s female? Because of the wolf thing?” Cillian asks.

“I’m so tired of hearing that,” I sigh, “can I crash with you guys?” I ask and point at the small bed in the far corner.

“Yes. Of course,” Cillian says getting up to offer me his hand. I try to smile as I take it. I don’t know why, but something draws me back outside. I hesitate for a moment before I follow Cillian towards the bed.

He lifts the cover for me and I carefully crawl in. He tugs me in and leans over me to place a lingering kiss on my temple. I just close my eyes and turn to my side, feeling a weird mixture of jealousy and guilt brushing over me like a soft breeze.