I am the Night - the last She-Wolf

Chapter 17 - A Damned Circle

Nathaniel POV

“Stop it!” I groan, looking over at Zeek. A smug grin plastered on his face ever since my first talk with Mika. It didn’t go exactly as planned. Not that I had anything planned, but she hasn’t said a word to me since. She sticks with Logan and the Hunter. Every now and then I catch her glancing at me.

She’s slowing us down. I want to just pick her up and carry her the rest of the way. We are about a day away from home. It would go faster that way. I could get her away from her friends. Especially Cillian. I hate how he seems to be extra keen on getting his hands on her. Showing off how he’s allowed close to her and I am not.

“You’re not very smooth, my friend.” Zeek chuckles. He thinks this whole scenario is hilarious. It makes me want to strangle him along with the Hunter. “I don’t think she likes you very much,” he adds, barely keeping the laughter out of his voice.

“Hey Mika,” he calls out loud. She turns her head looking at him in confusion, “if you had to choose between a wolf and a human, who would you choose?”

“Why?” She asks, her brows furrowed.

“Just wondering,” he smiles with an innocent shrug.

“Neither,” she answers, “they both suck!”

“What?” he pretends to be hurt, “you think I suck? I’m hurt.”

“I don’t know you,” she says.

“You want to get to know me? I mean, I’m open for anything, you know,” he winks at her. I growl at him, making him chuckle only harder.

Mika stops and turns her whole body towards us. She briefly glances at me, before she walks up to Zeek, getting right there into his personal space. “How about you shut up? I am grateful you helped us with the rogues, but that doesn’t make us friends. I’m not in the mood for jokes. Did you get that? Zeek?”

I can’t help but smirk at that. She notices, “you too,” she says pointing at me. “I don’t know what your deal is, but I’m sick and tired of you making fun of me. I don’t want to be here, but I am because you somehow think I owe you. I don’t! We are even. I’m free to do and go wherever I want!”

“That’s not entirely right,” Zeek says hesitantly.

“Then tell me! What do you people want with me?”

“He wants you,” Zeek nods at me, “I just strung along. For the fun of it, you know.”

“Want me how?” she asks, her eyes on me now. That’s a good question, but by the burn in my belly, I can tell that I probably want her in any way possible. My wolf stirs impatiently. He hates how little time I get to spend with her. How far out of reach she is, while she’s right there in front of me.

Zeek chuckles but he doesn’t say anything out loud. Wise choice. I sigh and tear my gaze away from her.

“You know what,” she says letting her tiny body plop down into the snow. “I’m not moving another step until someone tells me what the heck is going on. Where are we going? And why did you come back for me?”

“Oh, don’t get ahead of yourself,” I groan. She’s right of course, but I don’t like to admit it. Not in front of everyone watching. Especially the human.

“Where are we going?” she tries again.

“Selencity,” I answer.

“Never heard of it. Where is that supposed to be?”

“You’ll see,” I just say.

“Not good enough, wolf!”

“Well, girl, it’s all you get from me!”

“Fine,” she stubbornly crosses her arms in front of her chest, “you go to that city. I’ll stay right here.”

“You are annoying. Did anyone ever tell you that?” I pull her up by her arm, making her wince. I easily lift her up, which finally gives me what I want. Her close to me.

“Are you kidding me?” she hits my shoulder, “let me go!” For someone as hurt as she is, she’s quite strong. Not strong enough to do any damage, but still noticeable. I can tell it makes my wolf proud. He likes the fight she has.

“Hey,” Cillian jumps in, but Logan holds him back.

“We’ll be faster that way,” Logan says. Always the voice of reason. For someone who’s been tortured by Hunters, he seems very calm and collected.

“I don’t care,” Mika says, pushing against me, with no success in getting rid of me. Not even a little.

“Stop it!” I hiss at her. She glares at me.

“Answer my questions!” she demands.

“No!” I snap. She lifts up her elbow and hits me in the chin. She starts to struggle harder, catching me by surprise. I trip and lose my balance.

“What the...” I hear someone, I think the Hunter, call out, as I slip and both Mika and I tumble down the hill into the deepest forest. I try to break her fall with my body. I didn’t mean for this to happen, but as I pull her close to me, I can’t help but think, that I don’t mind.

We crash into a thick tree. I huff out a groan, as my back hits the solid trunk. She’s breathing hard, but she’s okay. I think. She presses her hand against my chest and lifts herself up.

The other hand comes up to push her hair out of her face. Her eyes shine bright as they connect with mine. She’s light as a feather as she rests on top of me. I really don’t mind this. At all.

“Nate!” Zeek calls out my name, “you okay?”

“Are you okay?” I ask, my voice low, so they can’t hear us.

“Why don’t you answer my questions?” she whispers back.

“Why don’t you just trust me?”

“I have trust issues,” she mutters and points at her scar. I smile at that and without thinking trace the smooth skin on her cheek. Follow it down her neck. I feel her shiver against me, making my wolf hum in glee.

“I would never hurt you,” I say and her grey eyes soften. She sighs and leans back a little, “I can’t explain it, Mika. Not right now.”

“Explain what?” she asks, her voice low.

“I need you to come with me!”

“Yes, but why? I’ve tumbled from one stupid trap into the next. I’m tired of this. I am really, really tired.”

“No trap,” I promise.

“And you want me to simply trust you?” I nod. “Are you going to lie to me?” I shake my head. “Hurt me?”

“Never!”

“Are you going to answer my questions?”

I sigh, but I nod. “Just not right now?” she asks and I nod again. “Why not?”

“I’m figuring things out myself ever since you freed me from that trap. I owe you!” I say, keeping the part about how her touch started something entirely different to myself. I think she can feel it too. At least to an extent. She’s human, so the mate bond might not be as strong for her as it is for me. Not right now at least.

“So, you came back for me? You want me to believe that?”

“No,” I say and slowly run my fingers up the zipper of her jacket. I can hear her heartbeat pick up. I can feel that this is making her nervous. I make her nervous. Not in a she’s-scared-of-me-way. “I want you to trust me!” I whisper.

“Okay,” she finally says.

“Okay,” I repeat with a careful smile on my lips.

“You’re weird,” she says and I can’t help but laugh.

“Nate!” Footsteps approach through the snow and thicket. “You guys alive?” Zeek asks.

“Back off! We’re fine!” I tell him and the crunching sounds under his boots disappear.

“Ah, I see. You’re getting somewhere. Continue!” he laughs and retreats.

“What did you just tell him?” she asks.

“Nothing,” I lie and she sighs, pushing herself off me. I pull her back though.

“You said no lies!” she complains.

“I told him we’re fine!” I tell her and with one careful motion turn so I hover over her.

“What... are you doing?” she asks confused, but she’s not mad about this either. I can tell. I can feel what she’s feeling.

“Making sure you’re okay,” I smirk and lean back to push her jacket up. Logan patched her up pretty well, given their circumstances. The wound isn’t bleeding anymore, which is good, but she’s dirty and I worry she’ll get an infection. “We need to clean you up. Soon!”

“I’m all for it,” she sighs, propping herself up on her elbows, “I’m filthy.”

“You are,” I agree and she frowns at me. “What?” I ask not sure what her stare means. She shakes her head and shifts to a sitting position. I don’t move, which forces her to get real close to me. “You read a lot, right?” I ask.

“That’s an odd question to ask right now,” she states, “but, yes, I did. I wanted to know why I survived the... attack. I know it’s not normal. I don’t know why though. Why can’t a female be changed? Are there female wolves?”

“Not anymore,” I answer, “there used to be, but no more. Girls are either born dead or born half-bloods. They are basically human, except that if they give birth to a boy, he’s a wolf.”

“Why?” she asks.

“Could be a curse for all I know,” I shrug, “could be anything. I don’t know. I really don’t!”

“But I am here,” she whispers, almost as if she’s telling a secret, “I don’t understand. I wish I could. It’s been driving me crazy for so long now. I thought... I thought if I could find the answers it would make things easier, but it won’t, will it?”

“No,” I say, pretty sure that nothing will come easy to her. She is one of a kind. She is rare and no matter what race, we all want that. Use it. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, is it?”

“Doubt it is, but I know it won’t get any easier. Gabriel knows... he knows you’re different.”

“Who?”

“The Rogues that took you,” I explain, hoping she won’t ask anything more about him. About who he is and how I know his name.

“Are they coming for me too?”

“Maybe. Probably,” I say and she sighs heavily.

“See how I think death is the better option?”

“I won’t let anything happen to you!”

“Why do you even care?” she asks, pinning me with her silver stare.

“It’s... complicated.”

“No, it’s not. It’s a simple answer. Do you feel obligated to protect me? Because of the trap thing? You just have nothing better to do? You are crazy and like to risk your life for a stranger?”

“None of that,” I sigh, “you are... you’re my mate!”

“Mate? Like… friends? You don’t even know me?” she asks confused.

“No, not like friends,” I chuckle and shake my head. I guess those books she read didn’t tell her s**t about our kind at all. How the Alpha gets a Mate. A female companion to lead his pack by his side. She’s more than that though. She is everything to her Alpha and the other way around.

“What then?” She asks, “what does it mean?”

“I have no idea,” I say and run a hand through my hair.

“Yes, you do! Tell me! I want to know!”

I wish it was that easy to explain. Especially since I am still trying to understand how this could have happened to me. I never asked for it. Neither did she. Yet here we are.

“Soulmates,” I say, “I guess that’s what you would call it.” She stares at me for an endless moment, before she bursts out laughing. It rings through the woods, making me sigh.

“I’m sorry,” she giggles, “but you can’t be serious. You don’t even know me!”

“No, but I know exactly what you feel. I’ve been dealing with your pain for weeks. It drove me crazy and that’s why I am here. I came for you!”

“You... came for me?” she repeats, “what... are you in love with me?”

I can’t help but laugh, “I don’t think it works like that.” Though I can already tell that I would do anything to protect her. My wolf would fight to his death if it means she can live.

“I don’t get it,” she says, “you... so you can feel what I feel?” I nod. “You feel the need to protect me?” I nod again. “Wait, is that why you hate Cillian?”

“I don’t care about him.” I just want him gone. As far away from her as possible. A wolf isn’t just protective of his mate, he’s also possessive.

“You hate him!” she chuckles. I just sigh, not in the mood to admit that I do. “So... so what does that mean for me? Am I supposed to... I don’t know... I can’t just...” she hesitates, “wait a minute, I can sense when you’re mad. Or jealous,” she adds with a little smirk. “Is this mate thing why I feel those things?”

“Probably,” I say watching her think about what I just told her. “What is... what is that between you and the Hunter?” I ask before I am able to stop myself.

“I don’t know,” she says, “he saved me. Twice.”

“Are you in love with him?” I ask, dreading the answer.

“I don’t know,” she whispers. Her words hurt like hell. I wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t expecting the rage it unleashes within me. “Nate,” she sighs, sensing my reaction, “I don’t know what to tell you. You can’t be mad at me!”

“I didn’t ask for this!” I hiss and get up, desperate to get some distance between us. But as I move away, I also yearn to be close to her. It’s such a damned circle. It will drive me crazy sooner or later.

“Neither did I,” she says softly, “I didn’t ask for any of this.”

“What the hell are you guys doing?” Someone calls, “Mika, are you okay?” it’s the Hunter.

“Yes,” she answers, “I’m okay.”

“What’s taking so long?” he asks impatiently. I growl at him, but he can’t hear. Mika can and she sighs softly.

“Help me up?” she asks, holding out her hand to me. I hesitate before I take it and help her up. “Thank you,” she whispers softly. Her hand on my chest, breathing some calm into me. She smiles up at me before she turns and starts climbing up the hill we tumbled down.

With a heavy sigh, I follow her. I guess the secret is out now. I should give her some time to adjust, to take it all in. Maybe I should keep my distance, but that’s easier said than done.

Maybe I am in love with her. I just don’t know it yet. Maybe I know and I don’t understand how that’s possible. I know nothing about her. Only the bad. Only her pain. I want something else. I want more. I want everything.