Chapter 2 - The Lucky One
2270 Words
Another crispy night. I don’t mind the cold. While everyone else feels the stinging cold sensation prickling their skin, I just feel a slight drop in temperature.
My body seems to run at a different temperature ever since I got bitten.
“Are you cold?” Cillian asks. The first words he said to me since we left the campus. Without waiting for an answer, he already shrugs out of his jacket, draping it around my shoulders.
I want to tell him that I’m fine, but I like the kind gesture.
“Can I ask you something?” he asks a few steps later. A thin layer of ice crunching underneath his boots.
“Sure,” I say watching the moonlight reflect on the frozen ground, turning it into a glittering runway.
“It’s something you said,” he continues. He sounds unsure of himself, which is a first. He’s not shy. If anything, he’s brave.
I always admired him for that. For his bravery and his kindness. Even when life hasn’t been kind to him.
He never talks about it. About his past and how he became a Hunter. I’m sure there’s a devastating story involved.
One I am itching to unravel. One that can’t be found back in the library. It’s his story to tell and I desperately want to listen.
“What did I say?” I ask, lifting my head to watch the small huffs of air escape his lips. Pure white on a wintery night.
“Do you really think people expect you to change into one of them?” he asks.
I know it’s a serious question and I wish I could answer it honestly, but how could I?
Sometimes I don’t even know if I won’t turn and slay this whole village. On purpose or not.
I don’t know if this is something that can be controlled. Sometimes I can feel it crawling beneath my skin.
Usually when I’m boiling with anger. That’s when the sensation becomes most prominent.
As if something wants to jump out of my skin and roar as loudly as she can. Shattering the walls of this town with its growl.
A part of me I can’t explain. Something that belongs yet is foreign to me.
I wouldn’t consider myself a violent person. Rash and reckless. Maybe. But I’m nothing like them. I’m not bloodthirsty and cruel.
“Are you afraid of me?” I chuckle and start walking backward.
His dark eyes watch me carefully, while I form makeshift claws with my hands, pretending to scratch at him.
I laugh.
The sound echoes through the streets. Voices carry through the village every now and then. Hunters returning home. Women greet them with happy laughter and catcalls.
There’s a bar nearby and it’s still open. A hint of beer tainting the otherwise clear air.
“You’re not very scary,” he says catching my hand in his large palm. “I’m serious though. Is there anything you want to tell me?”
“Like what?” I ask pulling my hand out of his. It’s not that I don’t like his touch. I do. And that’s the issue. I need to remind myself that I am nothing but an obligation to him.
“Anything?! Do you feel any different?”
“No,” I lie, shaking my head.
They know my temperature runs a little higher than that of humans. What they don’t know is that my other senses seem to have improved too.
I don’t want to become a lab rat. I don’t want them to run their tests on me, just because I am a little different.
I am allowed to walk the premises freely. Just because they think they’re getting me under control. That I am not dangerous. Otherwise, I wouldn't be so lucky.
They would put me somewhere with the other wolves I know they keep somewhere on the premises.
Sometimes I can hear them howl in agony. Tortured by the men who are supposed to be the good guys. Prying for answers to a war that’s been raging on between the races.
I can’t even remember when it all started. It was before I was born. Probably before humans even discovered the existence of Lycans.
Before they discovered how dangerous and evil they are. Before they knew humanity needed protecting.
It sounds like a self-righteous reason to me. It sounds like someone just decided all these things and started a war out of fear.
Those books I’ve been reading, list the first encounters with Lycans back to Ancient Greece. I’m not even sure they were enemies back then. So something must have happened along the way.
It’s all a load of bullshit and I’m pretty sure no one knows what’s going on. Except that humans and Lycans can’t get along.
Lycans are a thread and they need to be kept in check. Hunted by special forces.
“Are you afraid you’re going to change?” Cillian rips me from my thoughts.
“If it didn’t happen by now-,” I shake my head, “no, I’m not. I feel pretty normal actually. Well, except that I am not normal. You know.”
“Hm,” he huffs out thoughtfully.
“Have you ever seen a female wolf?” I ask, my curiosity getting the better of me.
“No.”
“You think they exist?” I’ve asked him the same question about a million times. He always pretends it’s the first time he hears it. Probably to humor me. I am so desperate for answers. Answers he won’t give me.
“I’m not sure,” he says hesitantly, “I guess it is possible if they were born a Lycan. But if those wolves are smart they’ll keep their females as far away from danger as possible. I mean, they somehow have to ensure the survival of their race, right?”
“Breeding?” I ask, “that’s their only purpose?”
“Don’t know. Probably,” he shrugs.
“So you can be born a female wolf. But a human girl can’t be changed into a Lycan?”
“I don’t know,” he says slightly annoyed. “I’ve never spent enough time with them to check if they are male or female and why.”
“So, technically you don’t know anything?”
“I know enough,” he mumbles.
“Do you know why I survived?”
“I guess there’s an exception to every rule,” he smiles at me, but his answer doesn’t satisfy me.
“Why can’t a female be changed?”
“Why? You want to change?”
“No,” I sigh and roll my eyes, “I just think... same rights for everyone.”
“Are we still talking about Lycans or your right to become a Hunter?”
“Huntress,” I correct him, “and yes, I still think it’s bullshit. Girls can fight too!”
“It’s the way it is, Mika. I won’t change the rules and even though you love to break them, neither will you!”
“But it’s an outdated principle.”
“Maybe.”
“But?” I challenge him.
“But, it’s a principle we are holding on to.”
“Makes you no better than those wolves,” I mumble and turn away from him, kicking at a pile of snow.
“Those things are animals, Mika. There is very little human about them. They run on instincts. Cruel. Violent. Hungry.”
“Sure,” I mutter, not really listening to him. He grabs my wrist and stops me from crossing the street.
“I am serious!”
“I know you are,” I say shrugging. Holding his darkened gaze.
His eyes tilt up slightly at the end and I always wondered if one of his parents was of Asian descent. Nothing else hints at that. Not his blond hair. Not the rosy color of his skin. Just his eyes.
“But killing them is violent too,” I say carefully, knowing he won’t like what he’s hearing.
“Excuse me?” he sounds offended.
“I’m not saying what you’re doing isn’t the right thing. I know you’re trying to protect the people from those creatures, but-,” I hesitate, “what you did to me, was just as cruel.”
“I... I saved you,” he says astonished.
I never said anything like this to him. I’ve been grateful. But then again, I remember those nights I cried and begged for death to come to get me.
“Do you know what they did to me?” I ask, my voice lowered, just in case someone is close by. Listening to our nightly conversation.
He lowers his gaze and his hand drops from my wrist.
“Yeah,” I sigh, “I thought so. I’m not a fan of those wolves. Trust me, but before you start pointing fingers, maybe you should consider that we are no better. You hurt me, just because I am different.”
“We didn’t know if you were dangerous.”
“And that’s why you should have killed me when you had the chance to. Exactly as you Captain told you to!”
“You sound rather ungrateful.”
“That’s because you don’t know s**t about pain, Cillian.”
“And what do you know about what I feel?”
“I know your reasons for being here stem from a place of pain. But it’s not the same,” I say shaking my head, “loss and physical pain aren’t the same things.”
“How do you know I’ve lost someone?” he asks, taking a step back.
“I assumed,” I sigh, “I know you feel guilty about something. And I know I remind you of that guilt. I know you only check in on me, because of that. That’s okay, but just so you know, I’m okay! I am alive and I guess that makes me the lucky one. But at a certain time in my life, death was the better option.”
“I don’t feel guilty,” he starts, but quick footsteps interrupt the silence surrounding us.
“Cillian?” A woman calls through the night.
Neither one of us looks at her, while we are glaring at each other. I can tell she’s bothered by it.
The moment she reaches us, she wraps her arm around his and pulls herself embarrassingly close to him.
She checks me out and visibly relaxes. As if I am no threat to her.
“Why didn’t you come to find me?” she purrs, “Linus, said you’re back for a while now.” Her voice turns whiney, and it makes me want to leave.
I don’t like girls like her. They make me sick with their bad acting and desperate need for attention.
Cillian closes his eyes for a moment. For a moment I use to turn away and make my way home. Without him.
“Mika!” I hear him yell after me.
“Don’t bother,” I call back, “I know my way around.”
“What were you doing with her anyway?” The girl asks, her voice laced with disgust.
I can’t hear his answer. I don’t want to as I break into a run, letting my feet hit the ground and carry me far away from Cillian and that girl.
My breath is hitting the frozen air in short pants as I make my way through the village.
A village that is in fact closer to a fortress than a cozy little town in the middle of nowhere.
I don’t even know exactly where we are right now. All I know is that if I make it to the edge of town there is nothing but forest surrounding us.
The Village is slightly raised. Build on top of some sort of mountain. I guess to keep the higher ground in case the wolves attack.
As far as I know, they never did. Sometimes they come close to the village.
Alarms go off within seconds and a few hours later they bring in the bodies. Usually more than one.
It’s always the same dance. Wolf kills the hunter. Hunter kills the wolf.
I stop when I make it to the border. There’s a tiny brick wall marking the end of the village. The place where it’s safe.
I’ve come here a lot, but I never dared to climb up that wall and explore the woods around town. I am afraid I set off said alert.
But why stop?
Nothing is keeping me here. I’m an outsider. I don’t have friends. I’m just a walking, talking real-life experiment. The sort of miracle they can’t quite explain.
I’m not theirs to keep!
I step closer to the wall. I even dare to touch it. The rough stone under the pads of my fingertips. I can feel the tingling, the urge to run free.
Cillian's jacket still wrapped around my shoulders. A dark green fabric, supposed to keep him warm.
I don’t need it, yet I wrap it a little tighter around myself.
He could have come after me. Talk to me. But he didn’t. He chose a random girl over me. And why wouldn’t he? I am nothing to him.
He doesn’t need me. And I sure as hell don’t need him.
Maybe it’s time I do everyone a favor and leave. Maybe I finally manage to die out there. It’s about time, right?
- Writer
