I am the Night - the last She-Wolf

Chapter 19 - Healed

The way he keeps staring at me has a strange effect on me. I expected to feel ashamed, but I don’t. I don’t mind his stare. Even though I am anything but confident about my body. Especially with the way, it looks right now.

With a soft sigh, I move closer to the edge of the pool. Folding my arms on the carefully placed stones creating the border between water and solid surface. I rest my chin on my arms and keep my eyes on him.

“I couldn’t sleep,” I say into the silence, “what’s your excuse?”

“I didn’t know I need one.”

“Kind of,” I say with a little shrug, “otherwise this would make you a creep.”

It does. I am a creep. One that can’t stay away if his life depended on it. “What kept you up? You were exhausted when we first got here.”

“I am,” I sigh. I am tired, but I’ve been having the same dream over and over again. I wouldn’t give it much thought, but it’s stuck in my head ever since it woke me up this night. Again.

“But?”

“I just... couldn’t sleep,” I say with a little shrug and dip my shoulders under the warm, soothing surface of the water. It feels amazing to finally get all this dirt off my body. I feel better than I have for weeks. Almost as if the water is healing me.

“This feels nice,” I sigh and close my eyes for a moment to enjoy the calm feeling.

“Does it?” he asks, his voice seeming a little rougher than usual. He should know. He’s probably been here before. At least that’s what I assume by Zeek's reaction to this place. He was excited and didn’t hesitate to jump in. Neither did Nathaniel.

“Are we close to this city you’ve been talking about?” I ask wondering out loud. He just nods, standing still, his eyes on me. Unmoving. Unflinching. “How come I’ve never heard of it?”

“You’re not supposed to,” he says, clearing his throat, “it’s wolf territory.”

“A city filled with wolves?”

“Mostly. There are humans too.”

“Let me guess, women?”

“No,” he says shaking his head, “those too, of course, but... let’s call them refugees.”

“And despite what humans did to you, you still let them in?”

“Not everything is as black and white as it seems, Mika.” I like the way my name rolls off his tongue. Even when he says it with slight annoyance. It still somehow sounds special.

“I know. I’m just trying to understand. Why fight then? Why keep this stupid war going?”

“That’s not us,” he says.

“Rogues?” I figure and he nods. “I don’t like them. They seem mean. That Rogue reminded me of the Colonel,” I say.

“Who’s that?”

“That’s what they call him. He... he did this,” I say, pointing at my face, “he’s just a power-hungry asshole. I met him right after I met you. And while you – technically the enemy and the worst thing out there- didn’t harm me at all, he didn’t even hesitate. It just proved to me, that humans are no better. Fighting against wolves suddenly seemed unbelievably stupid. Now you say, humans live in your city. That’s how it’s supposed to be, right?” I rant on and on.

“There was a time,” he starts hesitantly, “when us wolves had a pact with humans. We did get along. Until we didn’t and all hell broke loose.”

“Why?” I ask, curiosity getting the better of me.

Nathaniel stays silent for a moment, taking a few steps back to sit down on a large stone. “Maybe you want to get out of the water for this,” he suggests.

“Now?” But he’s looking at me and I am butt-naked.

“Yes,” he smirks, “now would be good.”

“I... I’m not... you... turn around!”

He laughs and suddenly takes off his shirt. “What are you doing?” I ask in surprise. I think my voice is a little higher than usual. I’m trying not to look, but he’s ripped. And how the hell am I supposed to look away? I’m not immune to that stuff. To him, as it seems.

“Take it,” he says and offers it to me.

“What?” I ask dumbfounded.

“Your stuff is all bloody. I’ve got a spare. Just take it. It’s the closest thing to clean clothes I have to offer right now.”

“I... okay?! But you’re still going to turn around!” He smiles and shrugs a little before he finally turns his back to me. I hesitate one moment before I carefully climb out of the hot well, my skin clean and peachy. The marks on my arm seemed to have healed completely. Only a few fading red lines hint at what happened there. “Woah,” I say in awe as I run my finger over my smooth skin.

“What?”

“No!” I yelp as he starts turning. “Look away!” He doesn’t listen. His eyes seem to glow wolfishly in the light. Hungry even. “Nathaniel!” I plead with him, trying to cover myself as best as I can. “Please!?” I’m not sure whether it’s a question or a request.

I snap the shirt from his hand and quickly pull it over my wet and overheated body. “What’s wrong with you?” I snap, my cheeks burning red beneath the bruises.

He doesn’t answer, but he takes a step closer, making me flinch a little. He curls his fingers around my wrist, lifting my arm to the light. “You healed,” he says in a husky voice.

“I... yes?!” I carefully pull away, almost stumbling back into the well, but he catches me in time.

“Show me the shotgun wound!” he demands.

“No!” I protest, “let me... get dressed. Please!”

“I don’t mind,” he says matter-of-factly.

“I’m sure you don’t, but I do!”

He sighs and lets go of my hand. I quickly put on the leggings I’ve been wearing for weeks now. They feel itchy on my clean skin. I hate the feeling of the dirty fabric. But I don’t have much of a choice. I literally have nothing else but these pants. I own nothing.

The thought suddenly crashes down on me. What am I going to do in a city I don’t belong? Where will I get new clothes? Anything at all? A place to live?

“What’s wrong?” Nate asks, standing dangerously close behind me.

“Nothing,” I sigh and shake my head.

“I can tell! Don’t lie to me!” he says, his hands on my hip, slowly snaking around my stomach. I half expect his touch to hurt, but it doesn’t.

“I just realized that I’ve been at a similar point in my life before. I ended up with nothing in a place where I didn’t belong.”

“You didn’t belong with the Hunters,” he agrees, his lips close to my ear, “but you belong with... us!” It almost sounded like he wanted to say: I belong with him. It doesn’t sound as strange to me as it probably should. I don’t know what it means to be his mate. I don’t even know if that’s a real thing, but as crazy as it sounds, it might not be.

“You don’t know that,” I say and finally turn around to face him.

“But I do know,” he argues, eyes moving quickly over my face, down to my lips. I carefully, hesitantly take a cautious step back. “Show me the wound!” he demands.

I slowly lift the oversized shirt he gave me, to show him the mark where the bullet hit. It’s not gone, but the skin has closed over the wound, leaving an angry red dot on my side. He carefully runs his thumb over the mark. It’s sore to the touch, but there’s no blood. No stomach twisting pain.

I sigh in relief and an involuntary smile creeps over my lips, “I’m okay,” I say, almost happy about it, “but how? Is it that water?” I ask excited about this.

“I... don’t know,” he looks back at the well with a thoughtful frown on his face.

“Amazing,” I breathe and look down at myself. A soft laugh escapes my lips and he turns back to look at me. “I’m not in pain!” I tell him happily.

“I know,” he says.

“You really felt all that?” I ask carefully, “everything?”

“Yes,” he says bitterly.

“I’m sorry,”

“It’s not your fault.”

“No, but I know it wasn’t pleasant. I know it was... I... I don’t want you to hurt,” I stumble over my words.

A slow smile creeps over his lips as he carefully caresses my cheek. I swallow hard, not sure what is happening and why I am accepting it so easily. “What’s going to happen once we are at your city?”

“No one will hurt you, if you’re afraid of that,” he says.

“Because you won’t let them?”

“I won’t, but I don’t have to protect you. You will be safe! I promise!”

“Because no one there will care that I am somehow alive, despite being bitten by a wolf? That I am female?”

“We are no savages, Mika. Yes, they’ll care, but not in the way you think. You will be safe!”

“I hope you’re right. I’m tired of running,” I sigh and sit down on the stone he occupied a few minutes earlier. I slowly run my hands over my thighs, the fabric of my leggings sticky under my palms.

“Mika, what about your family? Where are they?” he asks thoughtfully.

“Gone,” I shrug, “I never met my father. My mother died when I was just a baby. I grew up with my grandmother and she passed away a couple of years ago. It’s just me,” I sigh.

He offers a sad smile, almost as if he can relate. I miss my Gran sometimes, but she raised me to be independent. She raised me to be strong. She wouldn’t want me whining about being all alone, but sometimes it just feels awfully lonely. Especially since I was forced into a life I never wanted. Full of Hunters and supernatural creatures. One of those staring at me this exact moment.

“How old are you?” he finally asks.

“What date is it?” I ask. I’ve never been very good at keeping track of dates. Sometimes I even forget my own birthday. Especially since Gran is gone. She used to remind me with a big cake and one of her magic crystals she liked to give me for my birthday. I wish I still had them. They comforted me, even though I had a hard time believing in their powers.

“It’s the seventh of January,” he says and a low chuckle escapes my lips.

“Well, then as of a week I am twenty-two,” I say.

“You look younger,” he states.

“I look like I’ve been through hell,” I mutter. I don’t know why, but I don’t like him telling me that I look young. Too young. “Tell me about that pact between wolves and humans!” I demand. That’s what we were talking about initially and I still want to know. I want to know everything there is to know about him. About his kind I mean.