I Was Here

The Wake (Continuation)

Continuation...

Slowly I entered through the open door of the house. And I am more surprised to find out it is the wake of a person, that is why there are people outside the house. I see a coffin in one side of the wall of the living room. And there are white flowers to both the right and left side of the coffin. 

A little girl, maybe three or four year old, plays with her orange ball beside the coffin. She wears a white knee length dress without sleeves. She has a shoulder length light brown hair and fair skin. I watched her open a pack of M&M’s chocolate. She takes out a blue small rounded chocolate and puts it in her small pinkish mouth. As she chews she takes another one, red this time and tries to reach the coffin. ‘Wake up,’ she said. ‘Mama is crying again.’

The little girl stood up and climbed to a white mono-block chair, which made her possible to reach the coffin.  I watched how she repeatedly strike the top glass of the coffin with her small hands. ‘Hey come on,’ she cried. ‘Wake up,’ she said. ‘Mama is crying’

The picture placed on top of the coffin caught my attention. I almost passed out. I see Eric’s picture on top of the coffin. I feel an unbearable pain in my chest. The world suddenly stops at once.  People begin to disappear one by one. I watch how the older women dissolves into the thin air. And the young girl turns and her big rounded pair of eyes looks straight at me before she disappears next.  Until it is only me and the coffin left. You are dead. I look at his picture. You are dead, that is why you always appear in my dreams. I cried. You are dead, that is why I see you move in my house. I speak looking at the man from the picture, as if the photo is alive and is looking back at me. You are dead, that is why you often disappear whenever I catch a glance of you. I break down into tears. Are you dead?  

I wake up crying but not into the real world. I just woke up from a dream inside another dream again. And this time I am certain I have travel back in time through my dreams.

I float again to the air. And this time I see myself from below, only I am not sleeping. From the new scenario, I watch myself cross the pedestrian line wearing a tiny yellow dress. I watch myself walk along with the crowds. And to where I came from I see a group of people form a circle near the pedestrian.

I moved closer and found a red bicycle thrown into the ground. And closer again, I see a man lying on the ground. From the scene it is pretty obvious he was hit by a red car in front of him. He lies helpless facing the ground. He is not moving. Is he even breathing? People murmur around him though I cannot make up what they are saying. And then an ambulance came, and two nurses rushed to the man. They first check his pulse and perform some CPR. And the first nurse shakes his head to the other nurse. Is he dead? They made him lie on his back and carry him with a stretcher.

From above I am watching a scene without a sound. I move closer once more. As they covered his whole body and face with white cloth, I was able to take a glimpse of his face. I float there above sadly looking at what is happening below me.

Eric, so this is how you die? I said with a broken heart.  

The nurses took Eric away and the crowd left. All I see now is the ground stained with his dark red blood and his red bicycle.

How to Save a LifeThe Fray

Step one, you say we need to talk

He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk

He smiles politely back at you

You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right

As he goes left, and you stay right

Between the lines of fear and blame

You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong?

I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best

'Cause after all, you do know best

Try to slip past his defense

Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong

The things you've told him all along

And pray to God he hears you

And I pray to God he hears you

And where did I go wrong?

I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice

You lower yours and grant him one last choice

Drive until you lose the road

Or break with the ones you've followed

He will do one of two things

He will admit to everything

Or he'll say he's just not the same

And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong?

I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong?

I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

How to save a life

Where did I go wrong?

I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong?

I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

How to save a life

I wake up crying but this time I’m into the real world and in the present time. I look beside me and find Mallory still sleeping. I touch her hand and kiss her on the cheeks. ‘I only have Mallory, you and Chi-Chan,’ I said. ‘I love you.’

I embraced Mallory’s small body and silently cried. I look at her and as soon as she sees me crying she also cries.

“I love you, baby.”

‘I love you too, mama.’

‘Mama it’s okay right even if Papa left us.’

‘Yeah,’ I said and dried my tears away. ‘We’ll be fine. I will take care of you.’

Mallory kissed my forehead and embraced me tightly.

Dearest Mallory,

I cannot promise you a life without pain, but I assure you in all adversities in life I’ll stand strong in faith for you. I don’t know how and I don’t know when but believe me with all my best I will make it happen. And one day you’ll know how much I love you.  

Love, Mama