DEVIL SERIES #6: Falling for the Mafia's Deal

"...Kaya nga, I control myself. Kahit na curious ako, pinigilan ko talaga," sabi ni Bianca habang inaayos ang buhok niya. "Di biro ang ovulation natin, no?" sagot naman ni Farrah, sabay irap. "Especially for those who have already experienced it." "You're right! Hahanapin mo kasi-parang may hinahanap ka na hindi mo maintindihan," dagdag ni Calithea habang kinakagat ang straw ng iniinom niyang iced coffee, all too aware of the topic they were discussing. "During ovulation, it's like your body is craving something, and no matter how much you try to ignore it, it's just there-lingering, making itself known kahit ayaw mong pansinin," dagdag pa niya, this time with a knowing smirk. Katatapos lang ng huling subject namin ngayong hapon, at gaya ng sabi nila, ang naging paksa namin ngayon ay tungkol sa Ovulation Days of Women. Kung hindi mo alam, sa panahong ito, mas mataas ang s-x drive ng isang babae kaysa sa karaniwan. "Di pa ako naniniwala nung una, but now, I experience na," sabi ni Brynn, sabay kagat sa labi niya, halatang nagpipigil ng kilig o hiya. "Iba pala talaga kapag you've done it with someone. Mas malala pala ang ovulation mo. Parang katawan mo mismo ang humihiling." "Yeah! Kaya I'm lucky that I have my boyfriend as my deal tho," sabay kindat ni Farrah, earning giggles from the group. Napabuntong-hininga ako nang nagtawanan sila. Normal lang naman ang pag-uusap na ganito-lalo na sa aming nursing students. Mas mabuti nang may alam ka kaysa sa wala. We should be open-minded, lalo na sa mga bagay na may kinalaman sa katawan natin. Knowledge is power, after all. Kinuha ko ang maliit na salamin sa bag at tiningnan ang sarili ko. My hair was still in place, hindi naman masyadong magulo, pero inayos ko pa rin nang bahagya bago siniguradong maayos ang pagkakasuot ng white cap ko. It was part of the uniform, a symbol of our profession-so it had to be perfect. After that, I took out my lip gloss and applied a thin layer. Medyo dry na ang lips ko, and I hated that feeling. A quick swipe of gloss, and I was done. Simple. Polished. Presentable. Sinimulan kong ayusin ang gamit ko, carefully placing everything in my bag. May gagawin pa ako mamaya. Hindi pa ako pwedeng umuwi. I don't really understand kung bakit ako ang napili nila. There were so many others, yet for some reason, it had to be me. Well, last ko na 'to. Kailangan ko na lang tapusin. I slung my bag over my shoulder and hugged the two books against my chest, tucking them securely under my arm. "Clythie, you're going to the gym na ba?" Bianca suddenly asked, her voice snapping me out of my thoughts. Napalingon ako sa kanya at ngumiti nang bahagya bago tumango. "Yes. Una na ako sa inyo." They waved at me, and I waved back before stepping out of the classroom. Paglabas ko, sinalubong ako ng hallway na puno ng estudyanteng nakatambay at nag-uusap. But the moment they noticed my presence, one by one, their conversations died down. Their eyes shifted-some subtly, others more blatantly-as if I had commanded attention without meaning to. Napahinto ako saglit. What should I do? Smile? Give them a small wave? Argh. Parang hindi ka na sanay, Clythie. A slow, hesitant smile formed on my lips. Not too wide, not too forced-just enough to acknowledge the stares. Then, I continued walking. My strides were even, natural. Not too fast, not too slow. Not too confident, not too shy. Just... normal. Pero kahit gano'n, ramdam ko ang mga matang nakatutok sa akin. Every step I took felt deliberate, like I was walking through slow motion, each movement drawing attention in ways I didn't fully understand. The hallway, usually filled with chatter and movement, seemed to still-whispers fading, heads turning, eyes trailing. Some stared with curiosity, others with something unreadable. A few exchanged hushed words, leaning into each other, but their gazes never wavered. Like prey sensing a predator-or maybe the other way around. My posture remained composed, my expression unreadable, but beneath it all, there was an awareness-a subtle tension in the air, the weight of their stares lingering on my skin like an invisible touch. Hinayaan ko na lang sila at binilisan ang hakbang papunta sa locker room, eager to escape the prying eyes and the unspoken questions behind them. The moment I stepped inside, the world outside seemed to blur, replaced by the familiar scent of metal lockers and faint traces of perfume lingering in the air. Huminto ako sa harap ng locker ko at marahang binuksan ito-only to freeze the moment I did. Napahinto ako nang bumagsak ang ilang small boxes, tumilapon ang ilang mini flower bouquets, at kasama ng mga ito, sandamakmak na love letters na nagkalat sa sahig. Seriously? Again? I stared at the mess before me, a sigh escaping my lips. It wasn't the first time this had happened. Almost every time I opened my locker, something always came tumbling out-gifts, notes, tokens of admiration. Some were sweet, others... a little too intense. Dahan-dahan akong yumuko para pulutin ang ilan sa mga sulat. Different handwriting, different colors of ink-some carefully written, others rushed and desperate. One envelope caught my eye, the words "For My Beautiful Clythie" scrawled in bold red ink. I should just throw these away. I should ignore them like I always do. Pero nang hihinayang kase ako. Their efforts for these tapos itatapon ko lang. Isa-isa kong pinulot ang mga nalaglag, pilit na hindi iniinda ang dami ng mga ito. Hanggang sa may tumulong sa akin. Hindi ko na kailangang tumingin para malaman kung sino siya-sa amoy pa lang ng pabango niya, kilala ko na. Napanguso ako because really, I can't stand with her perfume. "Naks! Another day, another set of gifts from your suitors. May chocolate ba?" aniya, sabay tawa. Pareho kaming tumayo nang matapos namin pulutin ang lahat. At bago ko pa magawang magsalita, ipinatong niya sa mga love letters na hawak ko ang mga bouquet na hawak niya. Medyo nabigla ako, lalo na't yakap ko pa ang dalawang libro. "Ano ba, ang bigat na nga, dinagdagan mo pa!" reklamo ko, pero hindi ko na rin magawang irapan siya. She grinned. "Tignan ko na lang sa locker mo. Kung may chocolate, share tayo." Napailing na lang ako. "Tulungan na nga kita," dugtong niya habang kinukuha ulit ang iba kong hawak. "Grabe! Sana ganitong problema lang ang ibigay sa akin ni Lord." Pagkatapos niyang ayusin ang ibang hawak namin, bigla siyang napahinto at tumingin sa loob ng locker ko. Nanlaki ang mga mata niya bago may hinugot mula sa loob. "Oh my God! It's a sleeping panda night light!" bulalas niya, nangingiti pa. Napatingin ako sa hawak niya- cute, isang panda na natutulog. Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako o magtataka. "Uh... sino naman kaya nagbigay nito?" tanong ko, kunot-noo habang tinitingnan ang maliit na note na nakadikit sa lamp. For you, Clythie. May your nights be as light and comforting as your smile. "Aww, ang sweet naman niya! No clue ba kung sino?" It's her again, nakasilip din pala sa note na hawak ko, her eyes filled with curiosity. Kumunot ang noo ko habang hinahanap ang sinasabi niyang clue-kung may initials man o kahit anong pahiwatig kung sino ang nagbigay. Pero wala. Just those simple, thoughtful words. "Wala," sagot ko, saka lumingon sa kanya. "And you're too close, Noémie. Alam mo namang I don't like your perfume." Mataray kong sabi, sabay irap. Natatawa siyang lumayo, pero hindi naman natinag. Instead, she turned back to my locker, still poking around like she'd find another hidden surprise. I sighed. Inayos ko ang dala kong love letters, maingat silang isinilid pabalik sa locker. At least now, organized na sila-hindi gaya kanina na parang basta na lang isiniksik. Like whoever left them was in a hurry, afraid I might catch them. Admirers nga naman. Kakaiba gumalaw. Parang ninjas na nagiiwan ng liham. "Tutulungan kita later bitbitin lahat ng ito," sabi ni Noémie habang nakapamewang, tila aliw na aliw sa sitwasyon ko. "Where's your paper bag? Tutulungan na rin kita-syempre, para may free chocolate from you." Napailing na lang ako pero tumango, handing her a bag. At least, may kasama na akong magdadala ng mga 'to. I'll read the letters later at home. May gagawin pa kasi ako after this, and I didn't want to get too caught up in sentimental things right now. Then, Noémie's voice turned a bit softer. "Ba't di mo subukan ulit, Cly?" she asked casually while helping me place the last love letter in the paper bag. "You know... being in a relationship... again?" Her tone was light, but I could hear the hesitation in her last words. I froze for a moment, her words lingering in the air between us. Then, I continued what I was doing, pretending not to be affected. But deep down, I couldn't just ignore it. In a relationship... again? I still don't know what to say. Because even now, I keep asking myself the same question... Why can't I? "Di naman kita pinipressure," Noémie continued, her voice still light but with a hint of concern. "But... alam mo na, you need to explore hangga't dalaga ka pa." I glanced at her, waiting for her to finish whatever speech she was trying to give me this time. "Hindi naman ibig sabihin na you need a serious relationship like... your past." There it was. That word. Past. Napakurap ako, forcing my fingers to keep adjusting the things in my bag as if I didn't hear it. Noémie, realizing she might've stepped on a landmine, quickly added, "Parang ano lang... another experience of being in love." I let out a quiet breath, forcing a small smile. Another experience of being in love? Sounds easy, right? Just fall again, feel the butterflies, enjoy the moment. Pero... what if I don't have the heart for it anymore? "Love isn't an experience, Noémie," I muttered, finally looking at her straight in the eyes. She blinked, clearly surprised by my sudden seriousness. "It's not something you just... try, like a new hobby." For some people, maybe it is. A fleeting moment, an adventure, a lesson to learn. But for me? It left scars. Nakita ko ang bahagyang lungkot sa mga mata ni Noémie habang nakanguso, halatang hindi na naman siya nagtagumpay sa pangungumbinsi sa akin. Napailing na lang ako. Well, this isn't the first time she's asked me this, and it's definitely not the first time she's received the same answer. "Try to ask again after... hmm?" Tila nag-iisip pa ako, pinapahaba ang sagot ko para asarin siya. "Maybe, kapag dalawa na ang buwan." Umirap siya, sabay taas ng kilay, obviously not amused. "Ewan ko sa'yo." She huffed, crossing her arms. "Mag-prepare ka na lang diyan for the practice sa gym. Hmp!" At bago ko pa mag-react, tinalikuran na niya ako at naglakad palabas ng locker room. Mahina akong natawa. Noémie will always be Noémie. Pero tama naman siya-I should start preparing for our practice. * "One, two, three, and four... That's all for today. Thank you!" I clapped my hands together, smiling as I looked at my teammates. We were all sweating and exhausted, but the energy in the gym was still high. As soon as I dismissed them, a few of the girls cheered, jumping excitedly before breaking into our team chant. Napatawa na lang ako habang pinanood silang sumasayaw palabas ng gym, their laughter echoing against the walls. Ako naman, naiwan kasama ang iba pang busy nagse-selfie, nag-aayos ng gamit, o nagkukulitan bago umuwi. I let my gaze wander around the gym. Malawak, maliwanag, at puno ng buhay. On the other side, a group of basketball players was practicing for the upcoming university league. Their sneakers squeaked against the polished floor, the rhythmic sound of the ball bouncing filling the air. They moved fast-dodging, passing, shooting-focused and determined. At doon, sa gitna ng court, isang pamilyar na pigura ang agad na sumakop sa paningin ko. Napahinto ako. Biglang may sumundot sa tagiliran ko, dahilan para mapaiwas ako ng tingin. Mabilis kong nilingon kung sino. It was Safira, isang cheerleader. "Bakit?" gulat kong tanong habang hinihimas ang tagiliran ko. "The Captain is asking me kung kailan ka daw babalik sa social media," she said casually, flipping her ponytail. "Especially sa IG. Kasi IG lang naman ang meron ka, di ba?" Sinundan ng tingin ni Safira ang basketball captain-ang taong pamilyar sa akin. Napakurap ako. "Bakit niyo tinatanong 'yan?" Curious kong tanong, maalala ko lang na hindi siya ang unang nagtanong tungkol dito. Almost three years nang deactivated ang IG ko. Wala rin akong f*******: account-I never had one. It's too toxic for me. Ayoko sa f*******: culture, sa dami ng nagmamarunong, sa rants, sa fake news. I just don't have the patience for it. That's why si Noémie na lang ang nagtiyagang mag-message or tumawag sa akin kapag may ganap na related sa university at sa course namin. Basta importanteng bagay tungkol sa school, siya na ang nagre-relay. They can't even add me sa GC sa f*******:. But I don't mind. May Google Classroom naman, may Google Meet. I'm fine with these two. "Huh? I'm not the only one asking you this?" Safira looked genuinely surprised. Then, bigla siyang napatawa, as if may naalala siya. "Oo nga pala! How could I forget? You have no male friends but a lot of suitors." Napairap ako. "Tigilan mo 'yan." Pero hindi siya natinag. She smirked, eyes glinting mischievously. "So, kailan nga daw?"