Underrhelm

Chapter 19

RAYNA

I traced the details of his face with my eyes as he slept. He was devastatingly handsome. It made me so hungry. I’m not ready to jump into bed with him but I might be too weak to resist should he try. I left after a few moments to find Edgar in body form sitting on the couch moping. As soon as he saw me his feathers started to fly. He landed in my lap squawking.

“I’m so sorry Edger. You did a great job protecting me. It’s time we let him in though,” I declared.

While I fed Edgar in his birdhouse V sleepily came from the bedroom. His hand was rubbing his chest lifting up his shirt. I could outline every defined muscle on his abdomen. It made my body hungry to be filled by him. I knew if I crossed that line I’d hate myself forever.

“Good morning big guy.” I purred. He blushed and in his gravelly morning voice he said, “Good morning lovely.” My heart started racing in my throat.

“I’m going to take a shower and then I’ll cook you some breakfast, sound good?” I grinned.

“I’m going to run home and shower and I’ll be back in time for breakfast,” he smiled. I looked confused trying to remember how far away he lived. He must have understood my confusion. He added, “Don’t get mad but, I live on the first floor of this building.” I stared at him and turned an even deeper shade of red.

“That’s convenient,” I chuckled as I sped to the bathroom.

“He was how close to you this whole time you’ve been fantasizing about him?!” I bellowed in my head. I quickly showered and brushed my teeth before darting for my room and slamming the door closed. I put on a tank top and a pair of very tight leggings. They defined every inch of my lower half.

“Is this trying too hard?” I asked my reflection. I then changed into an oversized hoodie and sweatpants. I was still pretty weak after all and none of my problems disappeared over night.

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VALENTINE

As I opened the door to my apartment, it somehow seemed less depressing. Something about rose colored glasses came to mind. I showered and changed as fast as demonly possible to get back to her side. Partly because my body craved her. Partly because I was afraid of anything happening again. I brushed my teeth violently and smelled the orange juice to see if I could bring it to breakfast. I gagged before chucking it in the trash and taking off upstairs.

I knocked on the door while opening it and was met with a vision. Rayna is cooking me breakfast. My c**k twitched as I imagined devouring food off her naked body.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” I shouted in my mind. I blushed and sat down watching her almost twirl around the kitchen. As she plated our food I could tell she was thinking hard about something. She caught my gaze and I asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I have a question that isn’t appropriate for breakfast.” she prompted.

“Well then, let’s hurry up and eat. Then we can sit down and talk. I’ve got nowhere to be lovely.” I reassured. We sat in silence but not the awkward kind. The silence was effortless and comfortable. I’d never been around someone I didn’t have to have one eye on at all times. While she had her back turned, putting dishes in the sink I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I walked up behind her and picked her up by her waist. I carried her over the couch where I sat her in my lap.

“I’m not so weak I can’t walk,” she giggled. “Who has time for walking when you have a dirty question to ask?” I retorted with a goofy grin. “I did not say it was a dirty question, I said it was inappropriate for breakfast!” she laughed. I could make her laugh for the rest of forever. “Ask away lovely.” I prodded. She scooted off my lap and fidgeted with her fingers. “How did you get out?” she asked hesitantly. “The reason why people hate torturers is because they go insane with blood lust. How did you keep any part of yourself?”

I cleared my throat trying to buy time. This was a level of intimacy I hadn’t had with anyone. “I wasn’t around long enough to lose myself. I got out before they could take my dignity.” I started. She lightly took my hand in hers. I never knew her hands were so small compared to mine. Never did I think I could touch them to find out. “One day something happened causing an uproar. The higher ups were scattering to Lucifer’s aid. A group of us saw the opportunity and fled, but not without killing to be set free.” I added.

“You shouldn’t blame yourself for what they basically forced you to do in order to survive.” she declared. I smiled and responded, “And you shouldn’t blame yourself for what someoneelse did.” She looked into my eyes for a long time. Normally she would fill the emptiness with fear but now I don’t think she can anymore. That defense was melted away for me and me alone. “I wound up here on the outskirts of Hell where everyone was living the day to day and not being beaten to death every night,” I continued. “I didn’t have many skills so I became a muscle for hire, working in random clubs and brothels. Then what should happen but a tiny ball of fury busting down the door of that bar and making my heart beat for the first time,” I teased.

She kissed me on the forehead nearly causing me to pass out. I tucked her loose hair behind her ear.

“In the spirit of asking inappropriate questions, I have one I need to get off my chest,” I hesitated. “Where is your ex? What happened to him?” I questioned. Her eyes grew fearful, like she was back somewhere else reliving a horror. I rubbed her back before she stood up in a hurry.

“Please don’t leave,” I begged in my head.

“He was a wonderful guy when I met him. He was a reaper. He would go to Mortalrhelm and bring down human souls when it was their time. He took me there once but I didn’t like it.” she huffed while pacing the living room.

“Why not? I heard it was awesome up there,” I inquired.

“It is way too bright. The actual sun is like right there for half the day. It’s horrible,” she shivered. “Anyway, after Giran was killed he turned into something unrecognizable. Everyday he would scream that it was my fault. ’Grief is just love with nowhere to go’ I would chant to myself. Then one day he left without a goodbye or a note. I never saw him again. I still feel guilty to this day. I loved him so much and then I caused him to hate me and everyone in all the rhelms,” she finished.

I took a deep breath to push the feelings down that were bubbling at the surface. Rayne loving anyone else is a hard pill to swallow, but that asshole ingraining in her that it was all her fault. That was unforgivable and it made me violent. I lifted her chin so her eyes met mine and objected, “You lost him too, and you could have easily blamed someone else. Don’t excuse his behavior towards you.”

She made her way to the patio and lit a cigarette. I toddle off to join her. I inhaled and watched with jealousy as the smoke fell from her lips.

“I no longer justify his behavior but I still feel guilty. If he had never met me he would have never become what he did.” she stated hanging her head. “That’s not true. That was in him all the time. Something would have set it off with or without you.” I insisted.

“V?” she called. My heart leapt out of my chest screaming to take it. “Ray?” I called back. “Where do we go from here?” she asked. It caught me off guard. Did she mean us? “What do you mean?” I questioned. “I mean we can’t stay in this bubble forever. I have to get back to Umbra. What is it you want out of this?” she asked, looking into my soul. I grabbed her hip and pulled her lower half against mine.

“I want to be the reason you smile again. I want to be there for you every moment of forever. I’m in love with you Rayna,” I whispered.