King of My Heart

April "April, would you hurry up already? You're missing half the show!" My roommate yells at me from the living room while I heat up dinner. "Well, I wouldn't miss it if you could just pause it." I yell back as I roll my eyes. Every day, Abigail and I watch trashy reality shows while we have dinner. We rarely ever get time to do anything fun these days since I have exams approaching soon and Abigail is busy with her own life. I quickly grab the chicken noodles once they're hot and run back to continue watching TV. Abigail doesn't enjoy staying indoors as much as I do. I will never understand where she finds the energy to stay out all the time. For me, snuggling in bed and watching Netflix or reading books is the real dream. I wouldn't call myself an introvert exactly, but my social energy is almost completely depleted by the time I return from college. So, it's nice to enjoy some time by myself. But every now and then, it's also enjoyable to share some of that alone time with Abigail. After finishing dinner and the episode of poor reality TV, I sit and listen to Abigail drone on about her on-again-off-again boyfriend. It seems things are about to be off again. Soon enough we both head off to bed with the dread of having to wake up early tomorrow. With my class starting at eight, I prefer to be out of bed by seven at the latest. I fall asleep with the thoughts of exams and oddly enough, Abigail and her boyfriend, flooding my mind. Sometimes the loneliness gets to me, as it probably does to everyone else. Even though I moved away from home a long time ago, but this loneliness always felt inherent. I suppose it might have something to do with my wolf, Jade, who never got the chance to become a part of a pack. It's highly unusual for werewolves to live by themselves. They tend to form packs that are connected to one another with feelings much stronger than normal human beings could fathom. Lone wolves seldom survive on their own, always looking for a pack to call their own or going insane in the search for companionship. Why that never happened to me probably relies on the fact that I am not the same as every other wolf. My mother is a human, which might be the reason the wolf part of me does not take up as much space as any other werewolf. Sometimes, it does bother me that I can't relate to the other werewolves as much, not that I know many. On the other hand, it is also the reason surviving on my own has been easy. And for that, I am thankful. The sunlight peeping through my windows jolts me awake at about 5AM. Jade is antsy and won't let me go back to sleep. It's probably because I haven't taken her out in about a week and she's getting restless. That's what happens when you live away from people of your kind. The part of you that resembles them tends to get neglected. I decide to go out for a run. Usually, I try to set aside some days during the week where I get up extra early and go for a run in the woods. No one is out at that time and I can easily leave and get back without anyone noticing a giant wolf in the trees. Jade has always been a very calm wolf. We don't really have the ability to communicate with each other, but we understand each other just as much. Sometimes I can feel her heightened emotions, but instances like those are rare. She is fierce and powerful, but leaves me to myself, only taking over when it's her turn. It helps because werewolves have been known to lose control of their wolves in moments of extreme emotion and living around humans, that would prove to be a very difficult situation. I get up and make my bed before heading to the bathroom to freshen up. I wear a sports bra with black tights, putting my hair up in a ponytail and run out, making as little noise as possible to avoid waking Abigail. Once I'm in the woods, I remove my shoes and clothes and place them behind a tree. Shifting into one's wolf forces all the clothes to tear off and walking back home naked is not something I wish to do. I feel my bones crackling and changing shape as I begin to shift into my wolf. Fur sprouts on my skin and my nose is replaced by a snout as I land on my paws with a thud. I can feel my senses get sharper as I start running deeper into the woods letting Jade take control. I shifted into my wolf for the first time when I turned eighteen. She has blonde fur that matches my hair and green eyes, that led to me naming her Jade. She's strong and big for a werewolf that is supposed to be half human. Like all humans, my mother was unaware of the existence of werewolves until the day she came across a trail of blood in the woods and followed it. It lead to a man sitting under a tree and clutching his stomach. My mother, the nice and helpful angel that she is, rushed to his aid. Tearing off a piece of her shirt, she tried to put pressure on the wound even though the man kept stopping her. But, stubborn that she is, she continued. Soon enough, he passed out. After a few minutes she noticed the bleeding had stopped. My mother removed the cloth to find that the man had completely healed. She couldn't understand how that had happened but she stayed with him until he woke up. When he was finally awake, he looked at my mother and discovered that the woman who tried to help him was his mate. He started to spend time with her in order to thank her for her help. Soon, she started having feelings for him too and yada yada yada, he told her about werewolves and their mates, also letting her know that she was his. That man was my father. Having human mates is very rare but not completely unheard of, so after a little while, when my father thought that my mother was ready to be introduced into his world, he took her to his pack. He was the head warrior of the Blood Moon pack. The Alpha of his pack was known for his cruelty, but my father never thought that he would simply deny him the permission to let his human mate into the pack. My father couldn't live in the human world, so to spare him the pain of leaving his family and his pack, my mother decided it was best that they both went their separate ways. And that is how, just like every other relationship, theirs also ended. My mother didn't know it yet, but she was pregnant with me at the time. When she found out about me, she decided to keep it a secret for my safety, in case the pack didn't approve of my existence. Sadly, she couldn't keep that secret for long because before my eighteenth birthday I started showing signs of shifting. My bones were hurting and I felt like there were another person living in my brain. I kept trying to convince my mom to take me to a doctor because I was losing it but instead she took me to my father's pack. My father had married another werewolf and had two kids with her. Needless to say he was shocked when he found out about me. Of course, learning the entire story about my father and his entire species was a shocker for me too. The Alpha still had a problem with my mother but had to accept me since I was a werewolf too. Despite my numerous attempts at convincing my mom to take me back home, I had to stay with my father so he could teach me everything there was to know about myself. He told me everything about the werewolves, from how the pack hierarchy worked to how each individual wolf was blessed by the Moon Goddess with a mate. I didn't really believe in the power of the supposed 'mate bond' because if it were that strong, my parents would have stayed together. After spending about two weeks in the pack, learning about werewolves, and training a little so that I could defend myself, I started to realise that people in the pack didn't like me, especially my father's wife and his kids. The young wolves were always bullying me, calling me names, saying I was impure, even trying to hit me sometimes when no one was watching. So I decided to leave. I sometimes visited my father but that was a very rare occurrence. He died when I was twenty in some pack war. I was never that attached to him, but the news of his death definitely hurt me. Turns out he was super rich and left me lots of money. So I decided to go to medical school. I was going to live my life as a human because pack wars and treating anyone that wasn't a werewolf as less than was not my style. My mom got married a little while after I left for college. I was really happy for her because I didn't like that I was out there living my life while she was home alone. I'm in my last year of medical school now. Life is very tiring and hectic, but I like keeping myself busy and enjoy helping other people at the hospital. Once Jade has tired herself out, she lets me take back control. She likes to keep to herself, (wonder where she got that from), and I wouldn't give her up for anything in the world. She's a part of me. When I first found out about my werewolf heritage, I was so angry. I didn't want to turn into an animal. But then I met Jade and fell in love with her. Even though we don't communicate, I can still feel her existence in my conscience. She is me and I am her.