Go All In

1 “Where is she?” Whoever he was, he was mad. That was the first thought Harlow Sweeting remembered having. Opening her eyes, she was faced with blinding light that made her eyes close again. Cutting through the white noise impeding her senses, his voice rose once more. “You don’t get the f**k out my way and I’ll—” “We sedated her,” a calmer male voice said. “She was as manic as you. What the hell were you thinking, staying in there? You could’ve got yourself killed. How would I have explained that to her when she woke up? Do you think she would’ve bought it? After what we did when you got shot?” No, probably not. Wait… Harlow replayed that thought, then dismissed it as unimportant. “Staying in there…” that felt important. Her head was groggy; her body ached. She couldn’t focus. The calm guy had said something about sedation. From the way she was feeling, he must have been talking about her. “I need to see her, Bale.” “Ryske—” “She’ll be better if you let me get to her.” The aggravated guy was trying to sound calm so that the calm one would buy his story. She wasn’t buying it. Ryske was— Sitting up fast, Harlow gasped in clarity. “Ryske,” she breathed out. With frantic haste, she threw back the covers that were over her, desperate to get out of the bed that was holding her prisoner. Yanking at the wires on her chest, she pulled the tube from her nose and ripped off the tape that was on her hand, holding the IV in place. Machine alarms began to go crazy. She didn’t care. All she wanted was freedom. Opening her mouth in reaction to the sensation of metal sliding beneath her skin, she eased the needle from her arm. Someone took hold of her shoulders and tried to push her down. “Take your hands off me,” she snarled at the male who was uniformed like some sort of medical professional. Taken aback by her wild words that came out like a threat, he froze. Raising the needle she’d just pulled from her arm, she held it like a dagger. “Touch me again and I’ll jam this in your f*****g eye.” “Trink!” Whipping around, she saw him fifteen feet from the bed, blocked by Bale who was trying in vain to contain his brother. “Crash,” she screamed and leaped out of bed, leaving the medical man stuttering in shock. Dashing toward Ryske, overjoyed that he was there, safe… The world began to spin, bringing her to a sudden halt. “s**t, she’s going down,” someone said just a fraction of a second before her knees buckled. But she didn’t go down. Two strong arms came around her, capturing her, saving her from collapse. Although her vision was unfocused and her body weighed a ton, Harlow knew who held her. “Crash,” she whispered. “I’ve got you, baby,” he said, sweeping her feet from under her and carrying her back to the bed. “You tried to leave me,” she mumbled. “You didn’t come out… asshole.” One of his arms slid out from under her legs. Terrified that he was an illusion and she might lose him again, Harlow grabbed for the arm at the back of her neck before he could pull it free. “I am an asshole, baby. You’re right.” His mouth touched her forehead. “You’re always right. Dover needed me.” That made her think of not only Ryske, but the others too. “What happened?” Ryske eased her back down when she tried to sit up. “Everyone is fine, baby. They’re all back at Bale’s.” “Where you have to go too,” Bale said. “Ryske, you’ve gotta go. You have to. Her parents are on their way. You’re not supposed to be in here with her.” “s**t,” Ryske hissed. “f**k, baby, I don’t want to leave you again. But if I don’t—” “Proxy,” she breathed out, letting her head fall against his shoulder. Bone-tired, she couldn’t keep her head up. Harlow didn’t know what had happened. The details were fuzzy. After collapsing on Maze, she had a vague recollection of EMTs and panic, and then… this. “Goddamnit, you’re right,” Ryske said. “Right about what?” Bale asked. Too tired to lift her head and check, Harlow made a guess that the doctor was the one putting the wire back on her chest and the tube in her nose. Ryske breathed out a laugh. “I’m her medical proxy. I have power of attorney,” he said. “Every decision about her is mine.” Bale made a sound of disgust. “Wow, Ryske, I never thought I’d see the day that you’d con Harlow.” His volume lowered and his voice got closer. “Why does a perfectly healthy woman sign power of attorney and medical proxy—” “She did it while she was in jail,” Ryske said. “Yeah, that shut you up… She wanted someone on the outside who could act on her behalf.” “And she chose a con man who wasn’t even her boyfriend at the time?” “A man who would walk through hellfire for her, yeah,” Ryske said. “Still doesn’t change the fact that her family are on the way… Don’t they think you’re engaged to someone else? Wait, don’t they think you’re someone else entirely?” “I want him here,” she said, touching Ryske’s chest. The bed was angled up to a seated position. Ryske’s arm was around her shoulder, so he had to be sitting next to her. The awkward twist of his upper body suggested an uncomfortable position, half-on, half-off the bed. With one leg straight to the floor keeping him supported, he couldn’t be relaxed. But she needed him close, and tried her best to open her eyes wider to see more. Harlow wanted to stay with him for as long as she could. “She wants me here.” “Yeah, and if you’re medical proxy, you’re allowed to be here. How are you going to explain that to her family? Why would a man who’s engaged to someone else be sitting by Harlow’s bedside? What story—” “You think I can’t come up with something?” Ryske snapped. “If Harlow wants me here, I’m staying.” “Are you injured, Crash?” Though her head was still spinning and her chest tight, she pushed away and did her best to check him for injuries. He was wearing hospital scrubs, which if she was more awake, she might consider quite hot. His face was dirty with smeared soot that was thick in his hair too. Everything he’d touched had a mark on it: her hospital gown, the bedsheets… Harlow wasn’t complaining. Getting him into the scrubs was probably as much of a battle as Bale was willing to take on. A shower would’ve kept them apart for longer than Ryske would’ve tolerated. “I’m not hurt, baby,” Ryske said and tried to guide her back down against him. She pushed on him and sat straighter, sweeping her hair away from her face. “Where are my clothes?” she asked and coughed. Bale leaped closer. “Harlow, you’re not going anywhere,” the doctor said, checking the monitors next to her bed. “How did you know I wanted to—” “Because I’ve been this crew’s doctor for a long time. I know how stubborn all of you are,” Bale said. “You have to stay here. For, at least, the next forty-eight hours.” Shaking her head, she started to kick at the bedcovers. Somehow, they’d found their way over her again. “I have plans on Saturday.” “Plans? Are you nuts?” Bale asked, looking to Ryske for support when she let her legs slip off the edge of the bed. The doctor caught them and tried to put them back onto the mattress. Impulse made her kick out. “Don’t touch me!” “Hey,” Ryske said in a tone so smooth that it startled her. Leaning over, he scooped a hand around the curve of her thigh and slid it up slowly, taking her limbs from Bale and easing them back onto the bed. His hand went higher, gathering her hospital gown from her thigh to let him caress her a*s. It was only when he reached the curve of her hip that he allowed his hand to move over the top of the material to continue up to her ribs. He planted a straight arm on the bed by her ribs, beneath her arm. Harlow found herself under him, her upper body trapped beneath his. Thinking about why it was necessary for her to get up and move, Harlow opened her mouth to tell him that she wanted to leave. Except she didn’t get a chance to say anything. His mouth closed over hers, stealing her words. Every need she’d ever had in her life became about the twine of his tongue around hers. He tasted dirty, or maybe it was her. There was a grittiness to their charcoal kiss. Given what they’d been through that night, she couldn’t expect anything else. Skimming her hands up his arms, Harlow lost her fingers in the hair at the back of his head. “Ryske, you’ve got to be careful, man. She’s on oxygen.” Easing back, Ryske brushed his nose across hers. “She can have mine.” Heaviness overtook her. Using all of her energy, Harlow managed to shake her head in a rocking motion on the pillow. “You’re not allowed to leave me again.” “Never,” Ryske said, trailing his lips across hers. Turning her nails into his scalp, she wished she could keep him this close forever. “I want to get married,” she whispered. His surprise made him recoil a couple of inches. As Ryske’s lips curled to a smile, the doctor mumbled, “I better check her oxygen levels. She must have a low tolerance for sedation.” “If you want to get married, Trink,” Ryske said, tracing the back of his fingers from her jaw down her neck. “We’ll get married.” Nodding, she closed her eyes and tucked her head against his shoulder when he scooped an arm around her and twisted to rest at her side. “I thought you guys weren’t even together,” she heard Bale say. “Her guard drops when she’s drained,” Ryske said. “She’s always been this way… Easiest time to get in her panties is when she’s tired.” Slipping a hand under the end of his shirt, she dragged her nails across his tattoo. “Is this the hospital you died in?” “Yeah, baby,” Ryske said and kissed the top of her head. “Don’t worry about that.” “None of the EMTs were the same,” Bale said. “And you’ve been admitted, so you’re upstairs from the ER… The i***t wasn’t in the hospital long enough to make an impression. I kept everyone out of his room.” “Anyone does recognize me, I’ll tell them I have a twin and get emotional about my loss.” She smiled and tipped her chin up to look at him. “I was pretty devastated when you died. Less than a year later I’m supposed to be screwing your brother?” Ryske’s attention rose to narrow on Bale who was somewhere behind her. “She’s talking about me, doc. Don’t get ideas.” Bale’s quiet laugh helped to relax her. “She was pretty vulnerable… I could’ve slipped in there—” “You think about slipping anything in anywhere, even after I’m dead, and I’ll leave instructions for you to be gutted.” Bale’s next laugh was louder. “We’ve already drawn straws on who gets to take over after we’ve wiped you out.” Sighing, she wouldn’t have expected to feel so content after what had transpired that night. “Sorry, doc,” she murmured, skimming her nails across Ryske’s torso. “If he goes, I go.” “You… you… what?” Ryske guided her chin up, looking into her face wearing concern that she couldn’t feel. “You playing?” “Playing? No,” she said, shaking her head. “If you think tonight scared you, then you have no idea… I wouldn’t live through grieving you again. I wouldn’t…” Her hand went to her wrist. When she didn’t feel what she was expecting, her fingers clamped tight around it. “Ryske…” Panic was an understatement for what began to build. “Ryske!” “Relax,” Bale said, reaching over her shoulder to show her bracelet dangling between his fingertips. “I took it off in the ER.” Swiping it from him, she looped it onto her wrist. “You’re welcome… You know, you’re getting as bad as him with these mood swings.” “We’re passionate people,” Ryske said, fingering the bracelet on her wrist. Harlow touched her neck. “Where’s my—” Bale’s hand appeared over her shoulder to show the bullet she’d looped around her neck before they ran. “You can’t put this back on. We’ll need another chest film… maybe a few. I’m waiting for your pregnancy test results to come back.” Groaning, she hooked the leather band over Ryske’s head and settled the bullet against his chest. He’d have to keep it safe until Bale freed her. “This man is obsessed with my uterus,” she said. “I prefer the part of you that’s adjacent to it,” Ryske said. Her eyes rolled. “Yeah, we all know that.” “You think it’s not my right to protect my niece or nephew from what could be harmful radiation?” Bale asked, pulling over a chair so he could sit down by the bed on the opposite side to Ryske. Shifting to get a better look at him, she realized for the first time that he was wearing scrubs under his white doctor coat. She’d only ever seen him in the coat for a brief minute when she came to meet him for lunch. This was her first chance to really absorb the sight. “I’m having a weird, brother doctor fantasy thing right now,” she said, looking back and forth between them. She tugged on the end of Ryske’s scrubs. “Can we take these home?” “Think I have to unless you want me going home n***d,” he said, settling back against her pillows, locking both hands behind his head. “You have a thing for doctors?” She shrugged. “Who knew?” “I bring it out in a lot of women,” Bale said, making her laugh. Waving her fingers back and forth between them, her head twisted left to right. “It’s like you’re switching personalities.” Touching her head, her smile fell. “Maybe I did die.” “I think if you died, we’d be somewhere nicer than a hospital room,” Ryske said, sliding a hand up her back when she sat straighter. “Like a beach… a nudist beach… a private nudist beach.” She smiled. “Now who’s having a fantasy?” “Think I’ll add contraception to your med list,” Bale muttered. “Have you been taking your pills? Faithfully?” Pulling her legs up, she crossed them beneath the sheet. “What is with you?” she asked, throwing up her hands and letting them flop again. “I’m not pregnant.” “We made a deal about ten years ago,” Ryske said, stroking her back and straightening his crooked leg, so he was more on the bed. “What deal?” “That he’d settle down when he became a father,” Bale said. “Stop with the illegal s**t; the s**t that could get him killed.” Both Ryske and Bale had parental issues. Bale’s adoptive parents were dead. Ryske’s father had beat him. Their mother was… less than a stellar role model. Bale probably wanted to know that his niece or nephew would have a stable influence in his or her life. “Well, I guess we should talk about that,” she said, twisting around to set her focus on Ryske who looked like he could go to sleep himself. “You think if he goes straight, you’ll lose interest?” Bale asked from behind her. Ryske didn’t look worried. Why would he? His confidence in his s*x appeal was solid and with good reason. “No,” she said, struggling to maintain her smile. Toying with the tie on Ryske’s pants, she kept her focus away from both of them. “Because I don’t know if I want to have children.” Ryske didn’t flinch, but Bale seemed upset. “Why not? Why wouldn’t you want to have kids?” “Don’t stress, doc,” Ryske said, slipping his hand between the tied sides of her gown to drum his fingers on her spine. “We’ll work it out.” “She just said she wanted to marry you, but now she doesn’t want to have your baby. You’re not offended?” “No,” Ryske said, shrugging one shoulder. “These things have a way of figuring themselves out. She’s already said she wouldn’t get rid of my kid, so if it happens, we’ll handle it… If it doesn’t… we’ll still be happy. All I need is my Trinket.” That made her happy, though it pissed the doctor off. Slumping back in his seat, he squeezed the arms. Harlow lay back down, nestling herself against Ryske. “Finding somewhere to live is going to be the priority,” she said, laying a hand over his heart. “How’s Dover?” “Going nuts,” Ryske said. “He’s gonna take this hard.” She thought he was underestimating how all of the crew were going to take it. Floyd’s had been their life since they were kids, and God only knew what was left of it. “How bad is it? Is he insured?” “Yeah,” Ryske said. “ ‘Cept if it’s arson, we could have trouble…” Sitting up again, she searched his face. “You think someone set the fire on purpose?” “I think that the alleyway staircase was an inferno… I know the hallway was impassable… What kind of a fire would set in a line from the door to the den? All the way along, through the bar, to the stairwell at the opposite side of the building? The front of the building is practically untouched,” Ryske said. “The firefighters are there. They’ll do an investigation, we can’t stop that… But this is going to be Dover’s life for a while.” “And we won’t be pouring drinks,” she said, forlorn and a little overwhelmed by just how sad the situation was. They’d lost what had become a staple in all of their lives. “Is anything salvageable?” “We’ll have to figure out if they set the trail through the basement and how sound the foundations are… There will be a structural assessment. Good news is the fire didn’t spread to the second floor. Though, I guess there will be smoke and water damage up there.” “So I wouldn’t be in such a rush to get out of here if I were you,” Bale said. “Everyone’s squashed in like sardines at my place… Don’t know how long that will work out for.” “We’re used to existing around each other,” Harlow said, thinking about how it might be an adjustment for the doctor. “You’re the one who’ll be going crazy.” “You’re not usually in such a small space,” Bale said. He came to the Floyd’s apartment to hang out; he knew their setup. The apartment was almost the same size as the bar beneath it, so they did have some room to breathe. Privacy was non-existent. The crew shared a bathroom with a door that didn’t close completely. They shared a closet, where all of their things were crammed in. Their beds were in the same room. Even though it was a large one, it still led to an unusual level of forced intimacy, which had quickly become her norm. “We’ll work it out,” Ryske said, not stressed. “Supporting Dover is a priority. Everything else is details. Everyone we care about is alive. That’s what matters.” Pulling her closer, he pressed a kiss to her hair. “Tell me my girl’s gonna be okay, doc.” “I fainted,” she said. “You’re making a big deal of nothing. Maze said you were still inside. I was freaking out. I couldn’t breathe… It was stupid, but not a big deal.” “You’re being treated for smoke inhalation,” Bale said. “They thought about intubating you until you woke up in the back of the ambulance and started smashing the place up.” “They’re going to bill me for that mess,” Ryske said. Harlow prodded his ribs. “They’ll have to find us first.” Ryske laughed, a deep purr of appreciation. The doctor wasn’t so impressed and chose not to address her impertinence. “They sedated you and brought you here,” Bale said. “The firefighters forced us out,” Ryske said. “Dover and I were trying to contain it… wasn’t easy.” “You’re an i***t,” she said. “If you’d left me to protect bricks and mortar, even special bricks and mortar, I’d never have forgiven you.” He smirked. “Is there ever a scenario where you’d forgive me for dying on you?” Thinking about it for a second, she came up with nothing. “No… I’ll still be pissed even if you die when you’re ninety.” “Yeah, I can relate,” Ryske said. “I could tell something was wrong the minute I saw Maze. I asked about you. All he’d say was that Noon had taken Anwen to Bale’s… That’s it. That’s all I could get for a minute and a half… felt like a year. When he said you’d been blue-lighted to hospital… Man, baby, I didn’t know if I wanted to start shooting or throw myself off a bridge.” “Good thing you came to check on her first,” Bale said. “You know, you guys always talk about being in love, but you’re damn quick to think about pulling the trigger on yourselves.” Reflecting on how it had felt to lose Ryske, Harlow wondered if she’d ever be able to think back on that memory—knowing that he was alive—without feeling the chasm of emptiness. The l*****g flames of excruciating t*****e that had been her life in grief still felt as potent as they had then. “You’ll never know what it’s like,” she murmured, drifting. “To think you’re living in the world without the other half of your whole… There are no words to describe it.” Ryske’s arm slid around her to pull her closer. In a moment of respect for what she’d endured, no one said a word. Their reverie was shattered when the door flew open and her family poured inside. “Oh my God!” Jean Sweeting, her mother, declared. “Harlow, what have you done to yourself?” What had happened wasn’t her fault. She hadn’t considered what she’d tell her parents about the fire. Regardless of which facts were shared and which were concealed, there was one thing Harlow had no intention of hiding. Ryske tried to be subtle about sitting up and sliding his arm out from around her. Harlow grabbed his hand as it was about to leave her shoulder and pulled it back down. “It’s nice to see you too, Mom.”