THE MAN WO CAN'T BE MINE

Pain? What does it do to a person? Sometimes, I wonder if I still want to feel love, to be loved, or what. But sometimes, it seems like I just really don’t want to. The pain I experienced changed my whole being. I feel like I’m not myself anymore. One thing I am sure of—the pain I felt before made me stronger. If the man you love is making you feel insecure and causing you a lot of pain, will you continue the relationship, or will you let go and set yourself free? Every person has a different story and pain to tell. The question is, “How bad did it hurt?” ~ “Cheska!” I heard my friend call out. “What is it?” I asked without turning my head toward her because my eyes were still focused on what I was writing. I only looked at her once I had finished. “I missed you! Gaga ka, you should’ve gone home sooner!” She hugged me while I was still sitting in my swivel chair. I was in the middle of working on my patient’s report when she suddenly appeared and shouted as if she wasn’t disturbing anyone. “God damn it! Can you, please, lower your voice? We’re in a hospital, for god’s sake.” I glared at her, making her quickly press her lips together and even pretend to zip them shut. She should’ve just waited at the condo since I was about to go home anyway. I just needed to finish this report so I could fully rest at home without thinking about work, even for a little while. “You’re such a workaholic, Sis! You know what? Let’s go to a bar instead. Party, party, yeah?” she suggested. “I’m not allowed to get drunk,” I answered shortly. “Then just drink water.” She rolled her eyes, thinking I wouldn’t notice. “Go by yourself. Don’t drag me into your nonsense.” “What if I text your ex and tell him that—” I didn’t even let her finish whatever she was about to say. I quickly shut my laptop and gathered the files scattered on my table. “Let’s go.” I walked ahead, afraid I might lose my temper and end up injecting her with a sedative if she stayed too close. “So, Jacob is the only one who can convince you, huh? Yiee!” she teased, poking my side. “Shut the f*ck up, Coleen,” I snapped at her. She raised both hands in surrender, grinning as she followed me. ~ “Come on! Just one shot, hurry up.” I rolled my eyes at her, grabbed the shotglass she was holding, and drank it. The taste made me want to gag. I was never much of a drinker—Coleen was always the one dragging me to these things. Even back when we were still in the Philippines, she was always the mastermind behind drinking sessions. She kept saying “just one shot,” yet she had already handed me several. If she gives me one more, I swear, I’ll smash the glass against her face. Is this girl even a professional? Doesn’t she have work? I stood up to go to the washroom. Despite the cold weather in Canada, I was feeling hot. As soon as I entered the cubicle, I felt like I was about to collapse from dizziness. I swear, I’m going to pull her hair as soon as I get out of here. After stepping out, I placed my handbag down and washed my hands. Phone Ringing… “Hello?” I answered dizzily. But then I sobered up the moment I heard the voice on the other end of the line. “Ah, yes. Wait a sec, baby. I’m on my way home, and I’ll buy you a little something, okay? Bye! I love you!” I quickly ended the call in a rush. As I stepped out of the washroom, I almost hit my head, but a strong arm caught me just in time. “Thank you so much,” I said. I was about to walk away when he held me closer. Because of that, my eyes instinctively locked onto his face. My shock was beyond words when I saw who was holding me. What the hell?! Is fate messing with me again?! “Cheska?” His voice was filled with shock and… pain? Why pain? The audacity! “Let me go!” I yanked my arm away and walked off, still feeling dizzy. I immediately looked around for Coleen, but after fifteen minutes of searching, I still couldn’t find her. I decided to just text her since I was already being called to go home to the condo. I knew it. I should have never come here. While waiting for the taxi I booked, a luxury car suddenly pulled up in front of me. I wasn’t even surprised when I saw my ex-boyfriend sitting inside. “Get in,” he ordered. Wow. Since when did he become so bossy? “I said, get in, Ches.” He raised his voice, thinking I hadn’t heard him the first time. When he saw that I wasn’t moving, he stepped out of the car to force me. As if he could make me. “Let me go! What the hell, Jacob?! You son of a b*tch!” I screamed so loudly that two men heading into the bar approached us. “Any problem here, bro?” one of them asked curiously. “No, no…” Jacob quickly refused. “Help! This man is forcing me to go with him,” I said, still struggling to break free. “There’s no problem here. My wife is just drunk.” He smiled at the men, convincing them that everything was fine. Before I knew it, he had successfully forced me into the car, and I had no choice but to glare daggers at him. “You’re such an a**hole,” I spat through gritted teeth. “Drink.” He handed me a bottle of water, but I didn’t take it. What is he, gold? Duh. “What do you need?” I asked, running my fingers through my hair in frustration. “An explanation. And the truth.” It was as if I had been doused with ice-cold water by his words. To be continued…