Forbidden Bed

I can’t Hold it Anymore Sophie

I noticed that Lenard was shocked. He didn't expect my reaction, but that is what I want to let him understand. I am entitled to my own life and that is my principle ever since and no one will change that.

“No, Sophie, that is not what I meant. I am sorry if you misunderstood me. But yeah, you are right, you are entitled to your own life and decision, so I respect that. I am just trying to help Dad convince you, but if that is really what you think and you are not into business, then you have the right to mind your own business. You know, I know that dad cannot do anything to change your mind though.”

I am glad that Lenard finally resigned from arguing with me about going into business college. We didn't talk for a few minutes; it was only after the waitress served our order that he spoke.

“Let us just relax, Sophie. It is what I intended for coming here. Forget about what we just talked about, OK?” I smiled and nodded upon hearing Lenard. He was right. We are here to relax and that should serve its purpose.

“Well, anyway, how's college? I mean, how's life entirely?” He inquired again, but this time he was staring at my eyes. Every time he looks into my eyes, I feel restless. That is why I withdrew my eyes from here and then answered. Trying to control the palpitation of my heart beats.

“Great. Everything is fine with me except if Dad talks about sending me to business college.”

“Boyfriend?” When he asked about me having a boyfriend, my heart seemed to jump. I calmed myself before I answered. I feel like it matters to him if I have a boyfriend or I'm just assuming because that's what I want him to feel, that he'll be bothered when I say I have a boyfriend?

“None. I am waiting for someone.” I answered short, and I really meant it. I am waiting for him only if there is a chance, of course. My dream is very impossible, really it is, but what can I do? He's the only one that makes my heartbeat, and I can't feel that kind of affection toward those who are courting me. I even told myself that if I won't have a chance with him then I'm okay with being alone in life. I will not rush into a relationship that I don't want. I don't want to have regrets in the end because I know how important it is to have a commitment to another person. Having a feeling towards your partner is the basic requirement of having a long-lasting relationship. I'm liberated and I know that, but I can't really see myself having a relationship with anyone other than my brother Lenard.

He frowned before nodding and asking again. "You are waiting for someone? Who are you waiting for?" He asked and I answered quickly because I didn't want him to realize that I was talking about him. "I don't know, I just feel like I'm not ready to enter into a relationship. I can't force myself to like one of those who are flirting with me. As they usually say, the one meant for you will come and you'll feel it. I haven’t experienced that with anyone yet, so I am not considering getting into a relationship. I would better concentrate on finishing my studies first if possible. I am happy being alone, so there is really no problem about being alone."

I smiled before asking him. I have no idea if he still has a girlfriend? The last time I heard, he and his girlfriend were at odds. I was so happy when I found out. Besides the fact that brother Lenard doesn't want to have a girlfriend with anyone else made me happy. I am angry with his ex-girlfriend because she bullied me. "Do you have a girlfriend? I mean are you and Stacey still together?" I asked with a smile but inside I was hoping that he would tell me that they were gone.

He ruffled my hair before he answered. "No more, I've been without a girlfriend for a year. I'm also waiting for someone." His answer was simple, but my cheeks reddened. I don't know but I feel like he is referring to me. Because he was looking into my eyes before he said that, and it seemed that he was deliberately making them look at me. I quickly recovered and laughed out loud. "Wow! We're really siblings, we have the same strategy waiting for someone. Well, that's also good, at least you have more time to manage our business, remember you're CEO starting Monday." I simply said because I want our conversation to be different, I don't know but the pounding in my chest seems like I can't control it anymore. But he didn't withdraw his gaze at me, when I looked at him again, he was still looking into my eyes. I felt that my cheeks were definitely red.

"Hey! Why are you looking at me like that? You're scary, brother, like I'm guilty about something of you." I really forced him to talk so that we could have a different conversation, but I don't know if it was because of his drinking that he was acting strange in front of me. "Aren't you going to ask me who I'm waiting for?" His next question made me stop. I don't know but I suddenly felt nervous, and I didn't like the situation I was in at that time. Just this morning I was too presumptuous, I'm so happy that I can be alone with him but why now that our conversation is so serious it seems like I want to change my mind?

I want to leave him so that we can avoid that kind of conversation, the case is that I think I have been caught. "Why should I ask that? If you answer me, will I be able to do something to bring the one you are waiting for into your life? Of course not, brother, what I will be waiting for is when you will introduce us to your new woman." I just answered to avoid his question.

"Is that so? After all, you have a point too. Oh, slow down on your drinking, huh?" His answer gave me relief, but I noticed that after that conversation, he started drinking more and more. I'm not sure but he seems to have had a few drinks. I was also drinking my drink one after another because I was too nervous. I feel like I was the one he was putting in charge earlier and glad that I was able to avoid the conversation, but I was wrong because after a few more minutes he spoke again, now it was obvious that he was already drunk. "But let me ask you Sophie, for example, if the day comes that the person you consider your family or your best friend will confess his love to you, how will you feel?" I was surprised by his question.

"What kind of question is that brother?" I answered him quickly but at that time I could feel that he was referring to both of us. "No, answer me. For example, your best friend whom you trusted so much, the day he confesses his love for you, what will you think and feel about him? Let's assume that you won't accept him because of course he is your best friend, right? Of course, you won't like that. Will you be too angry with him, or will you avoid him if that happens?" With that question of his, I don't know where to find what I can answer. It seems that it would have been easier if he had said that he was the best friend he was referring to, maybe I could answer him more easily and I wouldn't be in trouble like this. I didn't answer for a few more minutes, I picked up my glass and I bottomed up its contents. I took a few breaths then straightened up and answered. I don't know if I'm going to answer him correctly but it's up to him, he's not the only one who has feelings, I'm also a fragile and weak person, especially with the person I love.

"It depends, of course if I also have feelings for him why would I be angry? Why would I avoid him if we have the same feelings for each other? I will answer him." I have answered what really comes from my heart and mind. He paused for a moment before asking again. "What if, for example, you understand each other but the people around you are definitely against your future relationship. What will you do?" That question was a confirmation that he was referring to us, I looked into his eyes that had been watching me before slowly answering.

"Of course, if we both want to be in that situation, we will work together. We will love each other, and we will fight for our love. That's how love should be, right? Fight as long as you can." I answered, I want to let him know that if it's us, that's what I want to happen. After that he pulled me, and our lips met!