GOODBYE
1140 Words
As a lycan with no beast, I am as worthless as the word itself. This is not something I had to be told to know, it is just a fact. A fact I have come to realize and accept. I'm aware that I have no purpose, that I'm too weak to be of use to anyone. So it's not something someone can say to hurt me, because it is as it is.
The abuse, the heartache and hatred from my father escalated to impossible heights, so much that I am numb to it all now. To pain, to joy, to heartache, I'm sure I'm even numb to numbness itself.
"Walk faster.", Papa shout as he pulls on the rope that binds my hand, he doesn't even turn to look at me but I'm not hurt by that. Afterall, it is as it is. And nothing is going to change that.
He seems to have gotten tired of me very quickly, and is now on his way to the slave market where my dearest Papa will sell me to pay off his debt. I didn't even get to say goodbye to Grandma Lucy, didn't get to say goodbye to Mama. They had her buried behind our house, per Papa's request. I don't even know why he still wants to torture her even in death. He would go to her grave when he's drunk and insult her, spit on her grave, and even go as far as pouring alcohol on it, knowing fully well how she despised that liquid poison.
I washed, I cooked, I cleaned, even took the reigns of Mama's trade after she died. And the money, Papa used for gambling and purchasing more alcohol.Through it all, I felt nothing, said nothing. I still feel nothing, I have been cracked but I'm certain I have not been shattered. I just thank Mama's spirit that Papa did not take my virtue. That would have been the end for me.
The slave market is just like any regular market, but instead of people buying and selling foodstuffs, they buy and sell their fellow lycans, their daughters and sons. The slave market is the only place where only the rich and those with deep pockets can buy from.
The slave traders say that the slaves they sell are remnants of war, and have nowhere to go. So, they are doing them good by giving them jobs and a place to call home. But, we all know that is absolute bullshit, we all know that the slaves are stolen from their homes, some are even being sold by their family, and are not there by their own will.
After Mama's death - or should I say murder- Papa reported that the house was attacked by rogues. So, he went scot-free, receiving no punishment for his crimes. He was even given money to take care of his child. Which he used to gamble and buy more alcohol. That seems to be the only thing he knows how to do well.
I have not spoken a word since mama's death two years ago. Why should I speak when my words will not be heard, when no one will act on my words, when no one will lend me their ears. I have no friend to pour out my heart to, no shoulder to cry on. No brother or sister to hold on to, I am alone in this world. Mama left me after she promised she wouldn't leave my side. After she said she will be my friend, after she said that she will be my sister. She left. Even with all this, I feel nothing, no pain, no sorrow. Nothing at all.
At age 200, I have still not met my soulmate, not that I have ever left the house to get a chance to meet him or her, and neither am I looking forward to meeting them too.
After all, no one can be as loyal, loving and devoted to their mate as our history books say. It's all just a lie, a story made to deceive us. I'm not even sure if The Goddess Selene and Fate are real, it could all be lies.
A lycan's mate is said to be the other half of their soul, the calm to their raging storm, the love of their life. The very reason for their existence -so they say. But I have seen it all, I have seen the deepest of love fall to shambles, with nothing but sharp pieces left.
"Here she is, now give me my money." I hear papa say, pulling me out of my thoughts and look at the slave Trader, he's your literal bad guy with a potbelly and seems to be quite shorter than me which is a shock because the average height of a lycan is about 5 feet, he smells like cigar and alcohol.
Now, with me having no beast meaning I'm basically a human, being able to know that, I wonder how disgusting he will smell to one with a beast.
He moves around me in circles taking in my features with lustful eyes which is unthinkable, because I am by no means beautiful. Even the word pretty is too good to describe me now. He seems to be shocked with my purple eyes. Seeing as purple is not an eye color people see on this planet on a regular basis.
But comparing now to when mama was around I have lost a lot of weight, seemingly bony. I'm looking more like a skeleton with a stretch of skin.
"With some food and clothes, she should be presentable enough to be sold to the royal family next week." the man says looking quite pleased with his new addition and gives a gold bar to Papa in exchange for me. Why he pays with gold bars instead of cash, is beyond me.
As I watch Papa turn around to leave, with not even a last glance at me; the daughter he was once so proud of. I know that now, I am much more insignificant than the dirt he walks on. I have shed enough tears that I don't even feel like crying as he walks away.
"look here girl." he says drawing my attention to him "you are now my possession. Don't try to escape because you can't. It will only result in your death, and the sooner you get that through your head the better. It'd be a shame to lose such a nice gal" I don't respond and just follow as he leads the way, even though I'm tempted to do what he says I shouldn't , just so I can finally be with mama and leave this cruel world behind.
"I have had enough with people trying to get away''he mumbles to himself.
- Writer
