His Personal Dancer

3

      Never give up Raina  My mother's voice echoed through my mind as I clicked through numerous websites that were offering jobs. These job positions that I was applying for asked me where I worked before, I couldn't really tell them that I worked at a strip club. I guess I could tell a little fib. After yesterday's events I felt ashamed and embarrassed, I tried calling Zeke to apologize for everything that I did but he blocked my number. The dancers called me to tell me that Mr. Ace was going to be pulling his investments tomorrow, and he'll be taking all of his main customers. Guilt overwhelmed me, I couldn't focus on finding a new job when the one I loved so much was going to lose it's business. I slammed my laptop shut and threw my head back onto the couch frustrated. As my eyes wandered the cracks along ceiling, I contemplated on what I should do next, the only reasonable thing was to look for another job as soon as possible, but a nonsensical idea also came to mind. People say I'm mature for an eighteen year old, I would agree but there are moments where the child in me gets fired up like a furnace. Listen baby girl, if you aren't going to dance on my c**k and twirl around on a pole, your exsistance means nothing to me  Mr. Ace's voice embedded itself in my mind, I kept it on replay. Until an idea, a quite foolish one slithered it's into my mind. My existence means nothing to him if I wasn't on a pole, then my only means for him to acknowledge me and the place that I loved is to get up on the stage and perform. Maybe just maybe he'll apologize to me then and give the club another chance. There was no way a man could be so heartless and mean, and sadistic I might add.

      With my plan piecing itself together I created a list in my head of the things I needed. The first thing was makeup, fortunately for me I was a teenage girl who found pleasure in watching makeup tutorials on YouTube, but unfortunately I had no makeup to play around with . Although I never really put on makeup I'm sure it can't be too hard. Walking the streets of New York I couldn't help but feel exhilarated, different kinds of people, food, and music. The sun was just starting to set and the street lights slowly dimmed their way into existence. After walking a few blocks, at last my destination was in front of me, I took a deep breath and looked at the flawless woman that hung in the window with stunning makeup, an eyeliner was in between her lips while a brush was in her finger tips. I walked into the beauty store and immediately looking around the store I felt intimidated. The people in this store looked like they knew what they were doing and what they were looking for, even people younger than me, I even caught glimpses of men creating the perfect cat eye with their liquid eyeliner. I clenched onto my messenger bag and walked further into the rose scented store. I pressed my lips together nervously and looked around not knowing where to start. My eyes wandered along the variety of products, doubt started to pollute my confidence, I looked down and shook my head realizing I was stomping on uncharted territory. This was a bad and foolish idea I thought to myself. "Um hello, can I help you?" I looked up at the ground as a voice approached me and I looked up and let out a soft sigh with a smile on my face. She had on a black shirt along with matching pants. Her face was dolled up in makeup but it wasn't too noticeable, they would call this look 'natural' I believe. She was really pretty, I felt the need to compare myself to her, and at that I wanted to get out of here,never come back, and forget this foolish plan. "No no, I was just looking around-" I said pleading with her, she raised her eyebrows nodding at me with a bit of a smirk on her lips, already I knew that she saw me as a joke. Her eyes belittled me, I swallowed hard and bit the inside of my mouth. "I'm actually going to leave  sorry for wasting your time-" I said faintly, the employee looked past me and her eyes went wide before returning to mine "Nonsense!-" she exclaimed waving her hand at me, she wrapped her arm around my shoulders and pulled me deeper into the store "I can help you with whatever you need darling. Just tell me what you're looking for" she said with a wide smile on her face. I eyed her dubiously from her sudden attitude change. As she held onto me tightly, she led me towards a chair in front of a mirror that had beaming lights around the border of it.

      "What exactly are you looking for?" Her name was Heather and she had brought her coworker Danny to help assist me in what I needed. I looked at myself in the reflection in the mirror and so did they. "Something eye catching and maybe extravagant" I said looking at the both of them waiting for their input, they eyed me for what seemed like forever. Until finally Danny nodded and so did Heather, Heather put her hands on my shoulders and gave them a squeeze "You're going to look like the baddest b***h there is in New York City'' she said with a smile and a bit of a laugh. Danny went around the store getting products that would suit me, I watched him run around  store making sure to get everything I needed. He rubbed his chin puzzled in choosing between some products. In the end he shrugged it off and chose both, dumping it into the basket he hung on his forearm. While Danny was doing that, Heather began to play with my hair. She would pull it back, put it into a high ponytail, or let it sit on my shoulders. "If you are going for an over the top look, put your hair in a high ponytail-" she began to demonstrate, combing her fingers through my hair. She pulled my hair away from my face and used her hand to gather all of my hair on the top of my head and gripped it tightly "Then, take your finger start from towards the beginning  of your eyebrow trace it up to your hairline-" she did exactly that before pulling a bit of hair and letting rest against the side of my cheek and she did with the same with the other side. I smiled at myself in the reflection of the mirror. Heather gently turned my head to the side so I could see a full 360 view of the hairdo. "Do you like it?" She asked, I turned away from the mirror and looked up at her and nodded with a wide smile on my face. She looked down at me and winked before letting my hair fall right back down onto my shoulders. At that moment Danny came with a basket full of items and set it down in my lap. I looked down into the basket and bit my bottom lip at the excess amount of beauty products I couldn't sit still as my body filled with excitement. Danny pulled out the first item "Highlighter, powder form. It's meant to illuminate anything of your choosing-" Danny pointed to my face in places where I could apply this product, on my cheek bones, nose, collarbone. He did the same with the other products in the basket, specifically explaining how to use them, where to use them, and what brushes to use. I devoured the information as the beauticians laid it out for me. 

      "Your total is 324.65" Danny said, scanning the last item and putting it into a beauty tote. My heart dropped at the price, who knew makeup would be so expensive. I bit my bottom lip and rummaged through my bag before finding and pulling out my wallet. I didn't even know if I had enough, I looked up at Danny who impatiently waited for me but still had a smile on his face. He breathed out a sigh and crossed his arms over his chest "Look if you don't have the money, come back an-" his voice drifted off as his eyes left mine and looked past me. His attention was occupied for a few moments, I raised my eyebrow and turned to see what caught his attention but he abruptly leaned over the counter and caught me by my shoulder stopping me "It's on the house! First time customers get a free purchase" he said, he pushed the beauty tote filled with makeup, I noticed that his hands were trembling. I eyed him as I backed up slowly "Um..thank you Danny, have a nice day. Tell Heather I said thank you" my voice drifted as Danny waved me off and I quickly turned around and walked out of the store without hesitation. I put the newly bought items into my bag and walked back down the street. Why were the employees acting like that? I asked myself, Nightfall crept in and I wrapped my arms around my body as the chilly breeze tickled my skin. I walked down the lively streets of New York City and bathed in its glory. My parents loved New York, they loved the shining lights and the diversity within the people. My mother was a ballet teacher at some pristine private school and my father was a traveling journalist. He met my mother when he was writing about the school.

       They fell in love, traveled the world together, and finally they settled back into New York and had me. I loved ballet and reading. I was a mix of the both of them, although I didn't know what I wanted to be in the future they still supported me and my nonexistent dreams of the future. They loved me, and supported me, we had the craziest adventures in the city, even at home. I wanted to travel the world with them, go on crazy exciting adventures I begged and begged them and for years they said no. Finally when I turned 14 and the season turned into summer they said that we would take our first trip to Brazil, I was so excited that I couldn't sleep the night before. On our way to the airport, a trucker fell asleep at the wheel, swerved lanes, and drove right into us. I woke up in the hospital and a social worker told me that they died instantly. I was put into foster care a few weeks after that. I was never adopted, just in and out of foster homes until I turned 17 and aged out in a group home. I wasn't a bad kid, I was great in school, foster parents only ever fostered for the money they weren't looking for a real family. I was told by a lot of people that I was unlovable, and that no one would want me. At first those words hurt me of course, but over time I just grew numb to people's thoughts about me. I missed my mother's warm hugs and my father's reassuring laugh, I missed every little thing about them. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and took a deep breath shaking my tears away. My eyes pressed closed and took deep steady breaths before continuing on back home.

      From what I have seen the dancers do at the club and some after hours lessons from the girls, I still felt a bit unprepared so I decided to educate myself more on the matter.I googled 'pole dancing moves' and got an abundance of information. I took down notes and even though I didn't have a pole at home. I placed my hands in the air trying to copy what she does, I did the same with my body. I often laughed to myself thinking how foolish I looked. After an hour of  learning moves on the internet, I decided to read a few articles on the subject, I learned more than I bargained for, I learned about the dark side of being an exotic dancer and how dangerous it could become. Often dancers found themselves working for harsh men, abusive ones that take advantage of them. At that moment, I was relieved that Zeke existed to provide a safe haven for the girls at the club. I don't know how much time passed but it was midnight but I wanted to make sure I had everything down. I did ballet ever since I was born, so I knew all about graceful and slow movements, but also face paced and exciting movements. I just had to incorporate what I knew to a new subject. I watched pole dancers on YouTube and became memorized by their beautiful moves. I became intrigued on how their bodies melted into the music and how slick and sexy they could be in a powerful way. I wanted to be that, powerful and sexy. A chuckle came to my lips, my parents would've died at the thought of me performing at a strip club. Eventually my mind became too mentally exhausted to watch anymore videos, my body was too heavy to drag itself to bed. I closed my laptop and put it onto the coffee table a few inches away from me. I drifted into a deep sleep cuddle against my couch cushions.

      I woke up a few hours after that. I was too nervous but excited about today for my body to fully rest. I had jumped up from the couch, grabbed my new makeup, and went straight to my bathroom, I took a quick shower not wanting to waste any time. I pulled my hair back into a messy bun, washed my face, and began. My movements were slow and precise when it came to applying the makeup, I followed what Danny and Heather told me to do, I also followed a YouTube tutorial. After putting on foundation and contour I put on sparkly white eyeshadow to make my blue eyes pop along with a cat eye. I stopped to look at myself in the mirror and jumped with excitement as my look began to come together. I calmed myself down and proceeded with the fake eyelashes, the most challenging part of this look. It took me a while to put them on, with a few failed attempts the lash finally stuck to my real ones evenly. I put the highlighter on my cheekbones and the tip of my nose, then finally sprayed down my face with setting spray, some of it got into my mouth. I forgot to close my mouth. I bent down to the bottom of my sink and pulled out my curling wand. I quickly curled up my hair, burning two fingers in the process.I rummaged through my drawer to find a white ribbon to tie my hair up with, I created a bow that sat on the top of my head. I pulled out the strands, combed them out before curling them, then finally they sat on the sides of my cheeks. I stared at myself in the mirror at the finished look, gasped as I saw my mother stare right back at me. I really do look like her huh? I thought, whenever my mother got dolled up for a performance I would watch her in awe, completely adoring her beauty. A smile laid itself on my lips, I gave myself a reassuring nod before leaving my bathroom.

      I didn't have any performance wear in my apartment so I threw on a pair of jeans and a short sleeved white V neck, I put on a white pair of Vans to match. I grabbed my phone and house keys and shoved them into my messenger bag. My trench coat hung on the coat hanger beside the door, I picked it right off and slipped it onto my body. I grabbed my bag from the kitchen counter before exiting my home. It was only five thirty in the morning, Zeke didn't open the club until seven forty-five. As I ran down the stairs of my apartment building I applied sparkly clear lip gloss on my lips. I felt like I could pull this off, do the dance, finally get some respect from Mr. Ace but also convince Zeke to hire me again. I pushed past the doors of the building and walked onto the street. It was a bit less crowded than it would be during the afternoon. I plugged myself up to music and played the song that I was going to dance to, and like ballet I began to piece together my routine and memorize it. I didn't want anything too fast paced but nothing too slow, and no vulgar words either. I wanted my routine to be sweet and sensual, and romantic even. I couldn't ignore my doubts and fears, what if I were to trip? Or worse, get laughed off the stage. I started to second guess myself causing my body to come to a sudden halt. What if I freeze? What if Zeke calls security to escort me out? I took a deep breath of morning air. Don't let anyone steal your confidence I smiled at my father's voice in my head, his voice was so soothing and relaxing that I could fall asleep to it peacefully. My legs began to walk again and confidently with my head held up I walked to the club, a few hours from now would change everything either for the better or for the worse, but either way I wanted to know what I did with everything that I could. There was no way in hell that I was giving up.