Watercolor Girl

The Ceremony

Evangeline

Once they are gone, I turn and let myself back into my home, I collapse into my desk chair, I link Alpha and thank him. Although it isn’t customary for someone such as myself, essentially a no one within the pack, to individually link the alpha, I know that he needs the reassurance. It wasn’t easy for him and that was clear. Almost comically clear. He’s always been a decent person, there isn’t an ounce of cruelty in him and he’s always been one of the most fair people I knew. I sigh heavily, now I have 5 days to sit and dread this ceremony. My presence is going to draw whispers and side glances. So much fun.

Lev

I don’t feel prepared for any of this. The rightful beta should have assumed his position at 18. I am 19, nearly 20. I have not found my mate and I have gone through a few years of desperate crash training on the responsibilities of being a beta, where my brother had gone through it throughout the entirety of his life. I never wanted this. Alpha Ciaran is a phenomenal Alpha. He was my brother’s best friend, but he didn’t protect him from the consequences of what he did to that she-wolf. I have trained closely with him over the past few years and he’s been patient and understanding as well as supportive. I guess I am lucky for that. Luna Dargan is frustrated by my lack of mate, but she tries her best not to show it. Without a Beta mate, all of the responsibilities of the head she-wolf fall on her, it’s a lot to ask, and I understand why she is flustered, but I can’t change that I haven’t found my mate. Goddess seems to create unions fairly quickly for Alphas and Betas, since it’s important they find them quickly, my brother found his mate shortly after the incident, but she rejected him on account of his brutality and past behaviors. I have accompanied Alpha Ciaran to neighboring packs a few times for various tasks and missions and despite the exposure to even various packs, I have yet to find my mate. Nothing about me, is right for this position. I find myself mildly jealous of other wolves my age, those with mates are whole wolves, and I am just a half. Since it became public knowledge that I would fall into the beta, I’ve had plenty of she-wolfs show interest, but it’s always felt fake and a lot like a vast power grab. Sure being a beta’s girl doesn’t carry the weight of being an alpha’s girl but it’s better to some then being a no one. I feel like I’d rather be a no one right now, sitting in the Beta office wanting to slam my face into the desk multiple times when there’s a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

Alpha Ciaran’s head pops in first followed by the rest of his massive body. Our pack is full of huge wolves but he is by far, massive, even for us, even for one of our alphas. He’s smiling, but it’s conflicted,

“You ready for this?” The ceremony is tomorrow, and I’m not ready. I’m NOT ready for this, I laugh and blatantly lie,

“Of course! Why are you having second thoughts?” Not that either of us had a choice as to who fell into this position. I’ve stalled for months on setting a date to officially step into the position and my father as well as Ciaran were irritated.

“It’s a big deal! All the speeches, all the paperwork, all the she-wolfs who are about to start throwing themselves at you.” He laughs, and I fake a laugh myself. Like that hasn’t started.

“Well I just might need the stress relief, so bring em’ on.” He has piercing blue eyes, and they narrow a bit, his face gets serious.

“We have an expedition out to meet with Alpha Blake’s pack next month. She could be there.” I can’t stop the eye roll at that. I know part of the constant conversation regarding the topic comes from Dargan, especially now that she’s had to set up this entire ceremony on her own and that has to be a lot for one wolf, but I can’t seem to catch a f*****g break from it. His hand comes up to stop me before I even begin my retort “I know I know, you can’t force a mate. Sorry man. Dargan has been stressed with the preparations and you know, mate bond, I can feel it because she’s feeling it. I’ll drop it.”

“I know. It’s too much for her to handle by herself. It is. Goddess works in her own time I guess, but it surely isn’t convenient right now, for Dargan or you.” Or me, but I leave myself out of it. My wing of the pack house is empty and lonely and basically a massive ode to bachelor living. It reminds me of my aloneness constantly.

Ciaran’s eyes light up, and I know Dargan is linking him, he’s silent for a moment before he moves back to the door, “Lemme know if you need anything. You’re on patrol tonight too, should give you the day to get rested and ready for the evening.”

I nod, I like patrol. It keeps my nights busy and I get to let my wolf run. It’s been an adjustment being in charge when we’re out there, but nonetheless I enjoy it. I sit in the silence of the beta office for a few minutes before I head to my room, if I’m going to be up all night I might as well catch some sleep while I can. I’m sure I won’t be able to tomorrow.

Dargan

“Can you please come up here so I can hate f**k you right now?” I link to Ciaran because if I don’t get some means of stress relief my head is quite literally going to explode.

“Moving, Luna.”

I have been setting up a pack wide ceremony entirely by myself and I’m about ready to quit and go rogue. There have been last minute issue with various things and quite frankly I’m over being the point of contact for it. My phone rings, it’s the kitchen which I’m sure is having more issues with the menu. There’s a beef shortage and it’s been chaos. I silence the ringer just as Ciaran makes his grand entrance and in an instant I’m on top of him. No words, just my tongue in his mouth because I have no interest in being placated about the situation. He doesn’t resist, we’re both stressed and entirely in need of all the release we can get.

Evangeline

My simple black dress is hung in the corner of my room and all I have been able to do all night is stare at it, so much so I’m surprised it hasn’t burst into flames with all the hatred it’s absorbed in the last few hours. I went out earlier and let my wolf run. We know these woods well, probably better then anyone else in the entire pack. I could tiptoe the boarders I know them so well. We ventured closer to the main pack then I would generally bother to go, but I wanted to see what had been set up. The layout is the same, sans the head table seating. There is a missing chair. I imagine Ciaran will place me in my usual spot in a corner. It allows me easier access to slip out early without being noticed. Because of the time of year, there will be a massive bonfire and all the tables will be arranged around it. I prefer this, since it doesn’t force me to see everyone, I won’t be able to see half of the pack through the bonfire, just those directly around me. Although I am alone by most standards, I do have my wolf, so I don’t consider myself to be entirely alone. She longs for companionship more so than I do, but she understands, and doesn’t badger. She always perks up when we can smell the patrols come near our home at night, I can feel that sometimes she wants to go with them. Every once in awhile she craves the pack and that life. I roll over and close my eyes, forcing myself to at least try and sleep. My name will be in enough mouths tomorrow and I don’t need the added gossip of looking like total garbage along with it. I have to get some sleep.

Lev

7 of us show up to patrol. Two groups of 3 and myself. The groups move off in opposite directions and I move on my own. Scouting for anything abnormal, smells, sounds, sights. It’s been a few hours and there’s been no abnormal reports, a typical night of running the woods. I move out further then I normally would, here it’s dense and mostly undisturbed. I moved through it effortlessly, I hadn’t heard much from the other patrols that were out, the night was quiet, although exceptionally dark. Wolves have exceptional night vision, so the darkness affects us not at all, in addition our other senses are heightened but even more so when we shift. I can hear animals just barely move in the trees or further out into the forest. As I’m moving along I get the slightest scent of something I’ve never smelled before and it stops me immediately. It was slight, and I almost doubt that I smelled it at all, but it’s there in my mind, a sort of sweet almost musky smell. I sniff the air, but it’s gone. I walk in a circle, digging at the ground trying to stir up whatever it may have been, but I can find no trace of it having ever existed. My wolf is restless in my head, demanding I find it, but there is no trail to follow. Whatever it was is gone, if it was ever even really there.

“We’re heading back to the patrol point, Beta.”

Patrick, one of the other patrolling wolves voice cuts through my head and startles me back to what I am supposed to be doing. I have no idea how long I’ve been trying to pick up that scent again, longer then I’ve realized and patrol is almost over. I shake my head before turning and sprinting back in the direction of the patrol point. I am stressed and making things up because of it.

“On my way in as well.”

Evangeline

I look at myself in the mirror, my dress falls long past my ankles, I have to hold it up so it doesn’t drag and so I don’t trip on it when I walk. The joys of being short in a world of tall creatures. It is plain with an empire waist that gathers just under my bust, but the fabric is soft and forgiving over my curves. The sleeves are long and tight fitting, it isn’t particularly low cut, but shows of just a bit of my cleavage. I straightened my long brown hair. It won’t matter, it’ll be a mess by the time I get to the pack. I can’t shift and run in or my dress will get wrinkled and that would be all the more to gossip about. I wear black combat boots because I couldn’t walk the whole way in heels and I hate them anyway. I don’t know why I even own any. I wear no makeup, but I bring my trusty black eyeliner and soft pink lip gloss. I’ll apply once I get there, if I put it on now I’ll look like the lead singer of a 90s grunge band with it running and smudging all over my face. I don’t own a vehicle because I’ve never needed one. I regret that choice right now. It would be so much easier to drive in.

“If we had friends in the pack, we could ask for a ride.” Nox, my wolf chides me. I roll my eyes. I take one last look, gather up my keys and other essentials before starting the long walk to the pack’s main grounds.

Ciaran

Lev is almost visibly shaking. His skin is two shades paler then it normally is. I know he doesn’t like being the center of attention but I’ve never seen him this distraught in the few years we have been working and training together. I guess there is still a lot I don’t know about him. He is wearing a black button down, with black slacks, which exasperates his uncharacteristic paleness. His shoulder length black hair is tied back in a low ponytail. I told him I would rip it off if he showed up in a man bun tonight. He’s grown a lot since he first came to begin his beta training. He used to be incredibly slight, almost lanky but he’s solid muscle now, and taller. I wonder if he’ll grow anymore once he officially accepts the beta title. Most alphas and betas grow to larger sizes. His brother was a beast, as is common. Lev didn’t possess the size initially but it looks like he’s grown into the title. He looks incredibly young. Dargan demanded that he shave for this occasion, much to his dismay, it appears he complied.

“You look nervous. Are you ok?”

“Ah, yeah. Patrol last night, and today I had to run a few errands before. Dargan had me run through a solo rehearsal about 50 times so, I’m ready.” He speaks with a confidence I’m not sure he himself believes. He’ll be a good beta. I wish he’d had more time. He looks like he’s going to say something else when Dargan runs up and gives him a bone crushing hug.

“Don’t you look dashing our little soon to be Beta!!!” I growl when the hug lingers a little too long for my liking. “Oh hush, Alpha! I have plenty for you after this damn nightmare of a ceremony.” She flashes me a sassy smile and it takes all my self control not to snatch her up and take her on the table right here. Dang werewolf urges. She takes two long strides towards me and wraps her arms around me. She looks stunning, as usual, and I’m almost glad Lev doesn’t have a mate, since Dargan would far outshine any other female at the head table, or in the entire pack really.

People are filtering in, taking seats at their tables. Dargan motions to our seats,

“Well boys, why don’t we head over so we can get this party started?” Lev looks like he’s going to choke, but he nods and gestures for us to go ahead.

“Alpha, Luna, after you.”

Lev

I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t stop my mind from attempting to discern the nonexistent scent we’d picked up. My stomach had been tight and bubbly, my chest hurt. My wolf was restless and nagging about going back out to find it. Dargan stayed in my head all day reminding me of times and tasks. She had done well to put this together on her own. She’s an excellent Luna. Maybe in the absence of a mate I should have forced time to help, but I know nothing of this side of things. I would have been more of an imposition for her I think. Servers came around and took orders for drinks. I asked for a whiskey, no ice. Dargan flashed me a look, but it would take far more to get me tipsy.

“I promise I won’t embarrass you, Luna. Pinky promise!”

She laughed and looked away at the pack now seated in front of us. The fire was starting to really burn, I was grateful, I could pretend there were less wolves here. I sipped my whiskey slowly listening to the whispers and laughter of the pack. Ciaran stood up and started his speech, but I tuned him out. This was all a formality, it was for the pack. I had signed what I needed to sign before this, I was officially Solstice’s beta. Or would be at midnight. I stood, bowed, gave my speech, and invited the pack to enjoy their meal. While thanking them all for their support and acceptance as their beta. Dargan smiled at me when I sat down, she nodded, and Ciaran ordered me another whiskey as the sound of cutlery on plates filled the room.

Evangeline

I couldn’t see the head table through the bonfire and I’d arrived just late enough to be able to sneak to my seat barely noticed. I heard a few whispers, my wolf growled in my head, threatening to give them something to whisper about. I ordered a whiskey when the server came around. Wolves metabolize alcohol much quicker than humans, one drink wouldn’t affect me, but I could pretend it would help the anxiety of this unwelcome social adventure. The scent of the bonfire was intense. I wanted to walk to it, and take it in, it was the strangest sensation, I’ve always loved the scent of burning wood, the smoky deepness of it, but this was almost an uncontrollable urge. I closed my eyes for just a moment and inhaled it before letting it out, and feeling a sense of calmness wash over me. I threw back my drink, and politely asked for another. I had been served some type of chicken, it looked delicious, and I cut it into dainty bites, taking my time. I generally only stayed at these shindigs for a short while, but the smell of the fire made me want to stay this time. I couldn’t see the new beta, I could barely hear him over the roar of the massive bonfire. I could hear Ciaran slightly better. But not much. I wasn’t sad I’d missed out on the speeches. About as interesting as a high school graduation they are. Once the meal was finished, the Alpha, Luna, and Beta generally make their rounds greeting and thanking the pack. I planned to be gone before having to deal with that. What does one say in that situation? You’re very welcome that my trauma paved the way for you to become our new beta! I doubt that would go over well, but I just couldn’t pull myself from the bonfire. I ordered another drink. Just one more, then I’ll go. I have to go.

Ciaran

“If he gets another drink I’ll slap it out of his hand.” Dargan snapped in my head. Lev is too young to drink, but as beta, the rules bend some for him. I put my hand on her thigh to simmer her down. She’s such a feisty little she-wolf, my mate. She flashes me a look, like she knows that I’m calming her but she lets it go and I feel the rage subside a bit.

“We should start mingling.” I link to both Lev and Dargan. She nods and Lev shrinks a bit before plastering the fakest smile I’ve ever seen before onto his face and standing up. He takes a deep breath, and I see him glance towards Dargan, who must have told him to breathe. She’s such a mama bear. We move out from behind the table and start to make our rounds. Lev is shaking hands with people and thanking them, he’ll be a good beta, once he gets over the social anxiety business he’s got going on right now. For a first event in front of the pack, I guess he can be forgiven. We move along nodding, smiling, shaking hands, carrying on light conversations, when I look up, Lev is fixated on something, his eyes wide, and there’s a growl that escapes from him, a primal, gravely growl. I follow his gaze and out to the far edge of the festivities, is a figure, it’s walking away, and far enough at that it would only be noticeable if you were looking.

Evangeline

I slam my fourth drink, before pushing back from the table gently and slipping away. I can walk the path some of the way, before stepping off into the woods where I can shift and run home. No need to keep my dress pretty at this point it’s done it’s job. I’m far enough away now where the din of the ceremony is soft, but I catch the scent of the bonfire again and I physically can’t stop myself from pausing to turn around and having it fill my senses one last time. I breathe it in, my chest tightens and my stomach turns, I see him, I SEE HIM. And he sees me too.

Ciaran

“Dargan, get over here we have a f*****g problem.”