Thee and Me

   The carriage ride was long and tense, the man's pocket-lining growing hotter with each passing second. His grip on his oaken cane was deathly-tight as his mind calculated everything through once more. He took out the advertisement and looked at it again, wondering if this was going to be worth it. Contradictions ran rampant in his head as he read it thrice-over before ripping it into pieces.         If mercy called for it... a quick shake of his head muted that thought.      Peeling open the carriage window, the sounds of echoing bells flooded inside. They seemed to be resounding in every crevice of the streets, every fold of the pavement.         Tennyson had died, and funeral ribbons and bands marked the streets. The day itself seemed to be dressed in a somber veil of fog and rain. Taking in a deep breath, the air was a smell of modern smarts: that this day marked an end to beautiful cricks and infinite daffodils. That space was replaced by steel now, by cotton smoke and decaying lungs. No more was there someone to speak of love and loss, no more was there a link from those poetic dreams to this bulimic reality. He was only black ribbons and dead words now; history and funeral bands.      The sound of the hooves clacking against the pavement felt like it was echoing too as they grew closer to the meeting point; and as the fog thickened, he threw the pieces of the advertisement out the window. Despite the words being torn to shreds, their black suits were still pressed against his eyelids- Demon, Being of Horror.      The money in his pocket was now burning his skin. He looked back out the window and mused that words like those don't often precede from what we think they do. Mercy- his eyes closed as he traced over it- the smooth curve of the 'c', the mouth's gentle touch of the 'm'. What could precede such a contradictory word?         When he finally opened his eyes, he realized it wasn't something he had.     The advertisement was written more than a fortnight ago, and it was credited by two men whose ambitions exceeded the grace in their souls; who turned from slow, scientific methodology to underhanded shillings and morbid chambers. That was where it was created- not born- no, what they had done to it was beyond that simple word. Perhaps it would be better surrounded by terms like scalpel, gauze, or satanic revelation; because, after all, what kind of God would have let them succeed?     Science abandoned, technology surmounted, intentions unrealized; yet it was a success, their success. Never before had two men felt wholly and completely equal to God. So they named it Esperus, a subject of study for one and a means of social rise for the other. What a thing it was! Patched by white threads into some concoction of divine creation- the cobra, the wolf, the bat. No creature such as it walked the earth; outcast from the innocence of Eden and left only to some estranged relative to man and beast. So It was, and so It lived under the hand of Sir M on his daunting expeditions and dangerous encounters- no gold unclaimed, no artifact passed by.     Years had passed and Esperus grew more into the mold of what Sir M required: A thing that was all things- a beast that was all beasts. At his whim, a monster stood by his side. By his gaze, bone broke and skin collapsed to the ground.      What was the cost of such power? For such a vessel of cataclysmic destruction? It was accosted to no thing but Esperus- it was the tormenting agony of every bone redefining itself into vast antonyms. From tooth to fang, from palm to hooves, to mangled half synonyms of both. But the reprieve from that pain was white-stringed rejuvenation: No matter the tear of flesh, loss of limb, or deprivation of blood; Esperus healed with no cell imperfect. Perhaps to some this would be considered a blessing, a miracle, but for Esperus, it was some other, less divine, type of event.         It was an exchange from multicellular to unicellular, from dependency to isolation. Cells pact together as shattered bricks to the aspiration of complete factory. Any strand of RNA un-used died in vast chaos, and over time, chaos cut free perfection; so it was until the last brick sank into the last crevice, and every gain multiplied, showing the hidden structure to inconceivable disorder. To The Doctor, it seemed as if all of the secrets of biology had been unlocked, and only he had the key.          It was only after Sir M had returned with his artifacts from Ireland that he had decided to test The Doctor's hypothesis; that the more "reconstruction" Esperus undertook, the more flaws were cast away and perfection stood in its place. In the span of three months, the deformed and marred visage of Esperus gave way to golden skin and poised bones. Long dewy hair delicately flowed over its shoulders, and its once sickly orange eyes were now a plain shade of grey. The almost superior-human aesthetic of Esperus was a stark contrast to everything it was capable of- its beastly abilities and inhuman climate towards death and murder. He had molded it into a thing void of emotion and sympathy, a thing that was but a vessel for someone else to command. Perhaps it was less of a living thing and more of a weapon- a steel, unfeeling machine.      If Esperus really was a miracle, it would have always been a hollow thing, those statue-like things. It would have been graced to not suffer the most devastating type of malediction. Despite how perfect and glossy Esperus now appeared, inside its jail of a body was tumultuous infliction. Blood, those muscles said, fat craved another- revenge they chanted. Esperus cast an iron-cased eye on Sir M, its insides bursting into curl-tailed lashes upon its skin. It didn't matter what it yearned for- not when its mind was tied by a scathing chain to deep-rooted fear.     Sir M appraised the figures of his highest bidder as he set about packing his belongings for his retirement that was to be along the coast of Africa someplace- his expedition to Ireland his last accomplishment before retiring to the great names of The Explorer's Club and Society of Archaeology. He had no use for his devilish creature anymore, and now it was time to pass it along to someone else. Packaged in nothing but a small metal box and a blindfold, Esperus was organized among the other prizes in Sir M's collection as they sailed northward to London.      It was on this day that their ship docked in a small, obscure port along the Thames- the smog of the factories hovering over the deck. Sir M anxiously awaited the arrival of his buyer, his fear of social ruin causing his brow to dampen with sweat. The idea of losing all the prestige he had due to dealings on the black market brought him nothing short of great pain, but his fear of Esperus rising against him was greater. How long would the beast obey the master? To him, it was only a matter of time before Esperus revolted; after all, isn't that what humanity did against God? Despite having trained and broken Esperus himself, he still had the intelligence to be afraid of Esperus like all wild animals. That, while tame and docile now, it could easily turn aggressive and uncontrollable in the blink of an eye.      The smog thickened as the workers slowly lessened across the streets- the start of the first shift causing the streets to be hollowed out. As two men walked down the street and towards the ship, Sir M signaled his men to retrieve the product, his eyes silently telling the others to arm themselves in preparation for a sour-facing deal. The wooden deck creaked loudly as the men boarded, one's face obscured by a tight black cloth and the other his man. Sir M shook the gloved hand of the assumed buyer.     "Are you Oxbow?"      The masked man nodded. Sir M clapped his hands excitedly and dove into anxiety-driven conversation.     "Marvelous then. I think you will be quite satisfied with what you are here for- well trained, fitted for all environments. For a moment, your mask made me worry you were some sort of authority, but perhaps I should have worn one too to shield my identity. Cah- What a thing hindsight is. I assume you have the...?"      The man nodded once more, his lack of speech making Sir M's attempt at conversation dry and only adding to his anxiety. They stood in silence, the only sounds that of the smoke hissing from the factory and the occasional cough from a passing worker. When the men finally arrived from below deck with the metal box, Sir M felt that he would burst into flames from the intensity of the exchange.     "Could you boys have gone any slower? We don't want to keep an important man waiting," He seethed, his once skirmish demeanor starkly contrasting with his deathly narrow tone. He turned back to the buyer and plastered a fresh, catering smile on his face.     "To the quarters then," he hummed. "I think it would be best if we passed our business in private, don't you?"     The man said nothing in reply but wordlessly followed Sir M up the steps and inside the large cabin of the ship, the men towing the box behind them.     "Would you like to see what it is capable of? We have enough space here to show you its... unique abilities."     The man stood for a minute, his head trained steadily on the large metal box- its intricate locks and iron sides, the small holes for air and metal pegged doors.     "No," he decided. "Whatever way they would like to present themselves to me, I will observe."      The words seemed to resonate within the metal box, the hotness in the creature's throat waning, its mind shattering. Despite the low murmurs in its mind saying that this would be the perfect opportunity to strike, a flash of green doused those thoughts. Memories and agony dug into its skin- a terrible flurry of emotions causing their lungs to burn. But among them, Guilt was the most prominent of them all, and caused the blindfold on its face to grow damp with tears. With a bitter gulp, it closed its eyes and let its mind retreat away from the Hell which was the outside world.     Sir M blinked for a moment, surprised, before nodding to his men to open the box. They painfully grunted as they pulled back the heavy locks until they clunked into place, the doors creaking slightly but remaining closed. Sir M walked forward and peeled the doors back, his large form obscuring the man's view of the product he was about to purchase.     Sir M pulled the person out and stepped aside, his gaze attempting to gauge the buyer's reaction. The masked man slowly approached Esperus- its dirt-caked hair and shivering skin. Not a circus freak, not some strange, exotic animal- a human being; or at least, it appeared. He walked behind and spotted a strange mark on its skin, and upon lifting up its hair, found two zig-zagging white scars that went down its back. Beneath the scars was a deep pressed mark, a sort of family crest.      He walked back towards Sir M, his face trained solely on the product and nothing else.     "You mean to tell me," he spoke, each word stark and clear cut, "That this is the creature you made an ad for? A 'being of horror, a thing of Satan, a beast'?"     Sir M didn't have a chance to respond before the man continued.     "Because all I see here is a person. Last time I checked, those were rather harmless."      As the clothed face slowly turned towards himself, Sir M couldn't help but gulp silently. The distance at which the man spoke of mankind sent an odd sensation down his spine.      "I assure you," he quickly stuttered, "That though that thing may seem harmless, it is in fact very deadly. If you would let me, I could easily demonstrate-"     The man let out a tired sigh, the air in the cabin becoming stiff. Sir M silenced, his eye flicking at his men impatiently.     "No," the man finally uttered. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a large stack of money.     "Six hundred, as agreed. Have my man bring the trunk here and we will be on our way."     Sir M nodded eagerly as he fingered through the money, double checking the numbers. He gestured for his men to leave and waited until the buyer's man arrived to give them privacy.      "That door there goes down the opposite stairs to the right dock. I assume you will be out shortly-"     "Yes."      Though his ego would have normally been insulted, Sir M gladly left them in the cabin with a large sum of money in his hands. The masked man sighed tiredly when he was finally left without the annoying, jittery personality of Sir M.      "Hans open the chest, won't you?" The man set to opening the chest and laying out its contents. The masked man slowly walked forward and took off the blind fold, their eyes remaining closed.     "You can look at me."     Their eyes opened, and in their gaze the air held a cold ache. The distance at which he had once earlier spoke was now realized, for no emotion showed on their face- if he could even refer to someone so empty-shelled with living pronouns. Tentatively, he looked at the bones which jutted out from Its skin- because indeed, It looked more like a living corpse than it did human; but cautiously, he decided upon the term 'she'; a 'She' which held a sort of history to it; a sort of monstrously bruised past, a connotation which, if used, might immediately skew the painting of its rich, vivid ugliness. They were here; past the enjoyable taste of sin- past happy, naïve girl memories or dreams, and left only to sit with their disappointments.       'She'; this person was a 'she' like the selfish, angry gods of the old times. Whereas she might have been glorious once, now she was left to nothing more than half-ruined artifacts and defaced statues. 'She' as in a raging wildfire or treacherous sea; only, the sun had devoured all the oceans, and the fire was reduced to ashes. She was these things, and she was past their sweet taste. In her dirtied face you could see the devoured husk of that power- their black matted hair, their hollow, blank eyes. He mused to himself that it was like looking at a wax figure, but found that observation to be a vast understatement to what he worried was true.      "Do you know what size you are?" She blinked as if she had hummed to life at his words before slamming her eyes shut. Fear turned into mutiny- the possibility of an end bittersweet on her tongue. That flash of green felt warm now, it was closer than it had ever been in the past three months. Yet, her neck begrudgingly gave a subtle nod 'no'; her body fighting to survive where her mind longed for an end. He looked at her with a gentle focus, wondering if behind her empty eyes there was someone waiting to wake up. He signed for Hans to bring over the contents of the chest.     "Hans will help you dress."     She blinked and looked at the other man as he attempted to guess her size before dressing her into a clean men's shirt and pants. Hans walked behind her and tied her hair into a bun before pulling out a thick black flat cap that hid her dirty, matted hair and a bandana that shrouded her face. Hans brought her simple wool socks and shoes to wear, her eyes watching him awkwardly pulling the too large socks up her legs and lacing her in leather boots. The masked man walked forward and fixed her crooked cap, the sudden motion causing her to flinch beneath her skin.     "You will call me Sir, nothing after it. And Hans," He mumbled, pulling black gloves onto her hands, "Grab my hat and cane, won't you."     Hans pulled out a hat with a thick veil and handed it to him, the veil shielding his cloth-wrapped face. Once he had his cane, he went to loop arms with her before pausing, realizing it would look strange to walk someone who looked like a man by the arm. Instead, with a nod of his head, he motioned for her to follow as he descended down the steps, onto the dock, and into the thick crowd as the factory workers pooled out as the second shift began.      A hot static gushed between her ears as she quickly walked after him- something she had never experienced before- though something she had always felt murmurs of. Each ounce of blood felt like it was boiling as they walked further and further away from Sir M, and with it was a violent scratch raking up her throat. That red-painted voice flooded her mind with fire- burning and scathing. Frog-toned, snake-skinned- it clawed across her mind with nothing short of a dis-coherent rampage. As soon as it had sung its teeth behind the skin of her cheeks, it seemed to immediately relax- a queer coldness taking its place.         Following him through the crowded streets and loud noises, the strange smells slowly became familiar. The streets blurred together like an endless labyrinth, and finally, they came across a guarded carriage. He guided her inside and paid the watch-man before stepping inside himself and Hans taking the driver's seat.      With the tap of his cane on the roof, the carriage lurched forward and went down the lane. Sitting across from her, he used this as a chance to observe her- to edge out her 'deadly' attributes and 'satanic' cast. What he observed, though, was something much different. He turned his head to the side away from her, watching from his peripheral vision as her blank eyes stiffly moved from him to the thin c***k in the curtains of the window, peering outside.     Her hands coiled into fists before tenderly resting on her forearms, wondering why she had followed him when she could easily escape. Deep down, however, as she looked outside to the people they passed and felt an uncomfortable chill run up her back, she knew exactly why she didn't.     The lack of violence was strange, but she bit her tongue before she let that pitiful bird perch in her chest. Hope was only something that hurt, she convinced herself. It was a childish wish that, since the beginning, had never been fulfilled. Looking at him slyly, her hands tensed before she roughly laced her fingers together, the pain a welcome distraction.         He saw nothing more than a person lacking every dignity a human being should have.      The ride continued in silence, his head never turning back to her, and her eyelids fighting to stay open as they looked out the window- perhaps she thought she needed his permission to do so- But after awhile, as the scenes outside the carriage faded into obscurity, she stiffly sat back and looked at him once more before letting them close; an almost inaudible sigh escaping from her lips.