Destiny

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

On September 2014, I left China and moved to a small town in Viseu — Portugal.

Coincidentally, Gloria arrived in Portugal in that same month, but in Lisbon.

Then, on October of the same year, I moved to the south of Portugal — Algarve.

Gloria went there with her friends too, in that same month and for a few weeks of holidays.

Interestingly, I spent those months alone, and would be very happy to have found her. I did notice her, passing by with others, but fate had not placed us yet together. She was still just another stranger to me.

On January 2015, she started a relationship with Rui, from Cape Verde, and my former girlfriend, Fang, from China, reentered my life by surprise to restart the relationship with me.

Because of her, I moved to the United Sates for a couple of months. But a phone call from one of my cousins, whom I did not see for several years, inviting me to his house, made me travel back to Portugal, this time in Lisbon, to meet with him.

I saw Gloria a couple of times, passing by with her new boyfriend, as she was still studying in that same city.

Something in my heart burned when I found her holding hands with him, as if my soul was telling me that she should be holding hands with me instead.

In truly many moments, we could have met and begin our relationship. We crossed paths too many times, and for a while, we were both single. But for some reason, that did not happen. And yet, since my childhood that I had been having dreams with her hometown.

I knew where she was, although I did not know how to find her. I knew how her hometown looked like, but I did not know in which country it was yet.

Likewise, she was feeling a deep impulse to travel to Portugal to find me.

After ending my relationship in 2016, I traveled to Denmark, and again, nearly found Gloria, because she went there as well, to visit her parents.

After that, I visited her country, when she was back already, and single again, now working as a waitress.

I saw her in a restaurant, but for some reason, we wouldn’t yet talk to one another.

It is intriguing to notice how many times we crossed paths, even looked at each other, but kept losing one another from sight.

We were certainly meant to be together from birth, even if she was born much later than me. That would have to occur. But up until then, we didn’t know how to call each other by the first name.

I went back to Spain after those holidays, and asked a couple of friends, who know cartomancy, to see in the cards where I should go next.

They indicated me Lithuania. And so, I moved there for good.

They were right, for I finally met her in the exact same night I arrived.

Sadly, by then Gloria already had a huge collection of former boyfriends and one night stands behind her back; and having a serious relationship wasn’t in her mind any longer.

I guess she was trying to compensate for the love she couldn’t find, and losing her capacity to love along the way.

Her soul needed me but her heart couldn’t wait.

Was Gloria seeking for love with every man she slept with?

Was she trying to find me by sleeping with as many men as she could?

Or had she simply given up on loving someone?

Gloria was still young, only 22, but already drastically changed by her past experiences, and more interested in s*x than love.

It was difficult to get to know her without any s****l intention. She seemed to be only interest in men to sleep with and nothing more than that.

I was barely able to have a normal conversation with her, even though I did feel a strong chemistry between us.

This chemistry was felt from the distance at first, even before we started talking to one another.

I couldn’t take my eyes from her, despite our obvious age gap.

In a way, I believe our age gap was actually the best guarantee that I could make her happy and change her life in a good direction. My life was already going well, I was traveling the world and going wherever I pleased, and only sought to find someone like her to help me enjoy it more, with less loneliness and more love.

I wish I could make Gloria see what I could see and lead her towards thousands of years of memories that cross my mind every time I look into her eyes. But that’s not possible.

Something in her heart says that I’m right and that she can trust me, but she can’t deny her fears, emerging with such feelings, fears which increase in intensity as she empowers herself with the emotions that come from the bottom of her heart; emotions that I do know well, but for her still seem confusing.

And how can I explain to someone that I know the past lives she doesn’t, that I can see her soul in its full spectrum, her many former manifestations, and identify the reasons that brought her to me, even beyond her reasoning or momentary desires?

While Gloria believes that everything between us developed too fast, it’s not really fast enough for me, not fast enough when the insights of many lives blend into one, and at present moment.

Life is too short to be wasted, and an opportunity like this can’t be neglected.

At every step of the way, she benefited from the gift of freewill, a gift inherited in every human soul, allowing us to make our own choices, and explore a multitude of universes and realities. And this is why life is simple and complex too, as well as complicated.

The complexities emerge from the many options I could see around Gloria, none of which I wanted her to take. These options, I wished her not to see. Because, they were illusions, and not more than that.

Those options, which could turn into complications, emerged from the dwellings of her soul, when contemplating them, when becoming mesmerized and astonished by them, when thinking she knows things that she does not truly know, when trusting her eyes and impulses, even while her soul screams “no”.

These are complications that, when observing Gloria, inside this labyrinth, I could see pulling and pushing her as a wild storm, which she doesn’t know how to control, a storm using the weakness of her heart as its strength.

The reason why her heart is weak, is because she never truly loved anyone.

The simplicity of all this is too simple for her to see. And I fear showing it to her, for I risk losing her in doing so.

If I show her our future, she will challenge it with fears. If I show her my feelings, she will test them. If I offer her my trust, she will threaten it. If I show her, who her real self is, she will laugh, like a madwoman who never saw what hides behind the veil of her self-deceptive personality, and thinks of herself as being sane.

But everything that I just said can be resumed to Gloria’s identity.

When Gloria tells me that she doesn’t know herself that well, she is describing, in her own words, everything I’ve mentioned here. But I do know her, I know myself, and I know us, and I can show her this paradox.

Such insights bring me to another point, which is the reason why I met Gloria. She represents a very important step in my spiritual journey, either she chooses to be with me forever or not. And that I can’t erase anymore. It is done.

It is as it was supposed to be, because I have put such path ahead of my desires, will and fears. And could I have done it otherwise?

No, when I observe the alchemical transmutation that brought me to Gloria. And yet, despite everything I know, once again, I lay my weapons down, I put my shield and helmet on the ground, and move forward, towards the invisible and my strongest enemies, with only a heart filled with will.

This heart will live beyond my physical death.

My will finds itself in her, her nature, with all its storms, volcanos and light as well. And this will can remain until our final days in this lifetime and beyond. Or it can simply vanish in its fulfillment. Because I can’t deny that I already love her, and I won’t love her less in the years to come, as this love remains the same since I saw her, and will remain in the future I envision for us, a future that although depending fundamentally on her will, won’t ever diminish what I feel already.

The only thing that will ever change, if such is the word we can use here, is the certainty of my feelings, as they guarantee the certainty of my vision.

This vision, constantly pulling towards a future that I know already, makes me act towards her, not just as a person I recently met, but someone who I know will transform, change and manifest a new reality in the years to come, if such is her will, within the boundaries of her soul’s freedom and the depth of my heart.

I honestly don’t think Gloria has a choice, because her nature is self-destructive.

To allow our love to fade away in order for her to explore any other alternative, would be like succumbing to death.

Gloria met me to live through me and I already know that. I appeared in her life as her last chance, and she certainly prayed for it.

I know, and I told her:

— “I am the one you prayed for before I appeared in your life.”

— “No way!”, Gloria answered, while staring at my eyes, stunned with perplexity.

— "Yes, I know, this is the truth; Nothing in our relationship is a surprise to me, and this is why I know how to make you happy. The only thing I can’t do is make your own decisions for you, or control them, or control you”, I assured her.