The Wolf's Guardian

EVEY'S POV Darkness, sadness, pain, lots of blood. What is happening? Why does it hurt so much? flashes of images come rushing to me. There is so much death around, wolves being thrown left and right, painful hauls all over. Why am I seeing this? Everything stops all of a sudden, and that's when I see it. In the middle of the battlefield, Shay, his beautiful brown eyes, don't have life anymore. This can't be true! "No, Moon Goddess, don't do this to us." I can't stand the pain, I am clenching my heart, falling on my knees from the pain. "Shay, please come back! Don't leave me!" I beg to his lifeless body. "Be happy, find love again." His last words echo in my head, but how could I be happy without him? I feel like I am going to die myself without him. "Evey!" My cousin Lily is calling me. She sounds desperate. "Evey, please wake up! Oh, Goddess. Doctor Smothers, what is happening to her?" Is this a dream? Is Shay alive? but my heart is in so much pain. I can't even connect with my wolf. I am slowly coming back to reality. I open my eyes slowly, and I find Lily's concerned ones. "Oh, Evey, I was scared! I thought we lost you!" She says, hugging me really tight. "Is it true? Please tell me Shay is here somewhere!" I ask desperate. I don't want to believe my memories. They can't be memories it has to be a nightmare. Lily's eyes start watering, and she looks down, not able to hold my gaze anymore. "Evey, what do you remember?" Lilly asks me, looking at Doctor Smothers with concern. "It was my fault, wasn't it? I did it, didn't I? He was trying to save me from that wolf, and he got killed!" I remember the smell of blood in the forest. We were attacked, and Shay protected me. He fought that wolf and got killed! "He was only doing his duty, as the Gamma of this pack and as your mate. He wouldn't have it any other way." Lily tries to make me feel better, but it is impossible. "It was the curse, wasn't it? It's real! I knew my happiness would be over soon!" It might be a coincidence like Shay used to say, but everything I love dies. My parents were killed when I was 7, nobody knew who or why, all I know is that they found me wandering the woods alone and covered in my parents' blood. Shortly after, my pack was attacked, and several of our members died. There were rumors that it was because of me. I never really knew, but they said that we were attacked by a pack of lone wolves from the mountains. They were known to have special abilities, like magical powers. Nobody knows much about them because they disappeared. I don't know why such a pack would have an interest in me, I don't have abilities, I am just a normal shewolf, now with a broken heart. "Evey, there is no curse. We were under attack. You could feel Shay's pain through the bond, and you ran to him." We have been attacked a lot lately. Ever since Alpha Scott started making business with the Alpha of Blue Moon pack, that pack has a mysterious past. Some say that several of them used to belong to the Lone Wolf pack that attacked my previous pack those years ago when I was a child. Soon after the last attack, I was sent to Forest Hills to live with my dad's family. I grew up here happy for the most part. I know people gossip behind my back, but after I mated to Shay and Lily mated to Alpha Scott, people stopped talking, and I was able to enjoy my life. Until now, Shay is dead, I did this to him. "Miss Summers, what do you feel right now?" Dr. Lawry asks me, checking my pulse and my eyes. "I feel an unbearable pain in my heart. Every time I breathe, the pain increases, like I am getting stabbed. I know it is the pain of having lost my mate." I only hope death takes me too. I don't want a life without him. "Can you feel your wolf?" He asks, worried. "She is in pain. We are not connecting right now. She is like dormant." I respond, letting tears run. I not only lost my mate but also my wolf. "Will her wolf come back in a few days? " Lilly asks, concerned. "Is hard to tell. When a mate dies, if the other survives, it is very likely that the surviving wolf gets depressed. I can't tell you if your wolf will be back, Miss Summers. You just need to try, force her to shift, and keep in touch with her. If you manage to do that, you might not lose her. A lot of wolves lose their mate and their wolf at the same time. Is a defense mechanism." I don't want to lose my wolf, but how can I make her come back when I want to die myself? 4 YEARS LATER Another sleepless night has come and gone. Every day I wake up and I have the same question, why has the Moon Goddess not taken me, why must I live with this unbearable pain in my chest and the agony of not having him anymore. It's been four years, and I am still not used to not having him. I keep going back to the last time I saw him. I had no business going into the battlefield, but I could feel his pain, he was hurt and I felt this incredible need to go help him, but I panicked when that big wolf came after me, I still remember those evil eyes, they haunt me every night in my nightmares. Shay came to my rescue. He killed that other wolf, but he lost his life in the process. Forcing me to live without him and my wolf, who just doesn't seem to come back to me. I know she is there, I can feel a faint connection, but she refuses to acknowledge me. My phone starts ringing, bringing me back to reality. Is Lily, she probably wants to make sure I will still make it today. "Hello Lily, You don't need to check on me. I told you I'm going. I won't break my promise." I tell her kind of annoyed. "Please don't be upset, I just want to make sure you are alright. Since you moved out, I hardly see you, and you decided to move all the way to the end of the land. You should move back." She was never happy that I moved, but after Shay died, I had no reason to be at the pack house anymore. I prefer to be here in my small one bedroom fixer-upper. "I like it here, and I see you plenty, but I am trying to rebuild my life." I am trying my hardest to keep going. Shortly after Shay's passing, I thought I had to be of use to my pack. Lily thought I went crazy, but I learnt everything related to healing in a more natural way. I know how to use herbs, I am quite good at mixing them and making healing potions. I am quite a natural, I even have a little shop in town. Is the only thing that keeps my mind away from the memories and the pain. "Fine, just make sure you make it on time. The Alpha Luncheon is happening at the same time, and I am quite nervous. Things have to go great. Scott is signing a deal with White Creek pack today. If things go well, we will soon be just as prosperous as we used to be before we made that alliance with Blue Moon pack." I feel something weird when she says White Creek pack, I know of their reputation. Who doesn't, but something inside me gets stirred at the mention of that pack. I even think my wolf perked her ears a bit. I think it could be fear, their Alpha and Beta are cruel merciless people who stop at nothing to get what they want. I hope Alpha Scott is making the right choice by making business with them.