Rekindling the fire of faith

MY EXPERIENCES OUTSIDE SCHOOL

I got used to my Dad so much that I could hardly sleep except I have my hand-stretched to feel his warmth. I do this because it guarantees me of his presence that makes me fearless, even when fear seems to be driving my life crazy. Then, I used to feel even as I think, asking myself “What can I do without my dad’s presence. My Dad was like my God. I grew up with fear that I can never be safe without my dad’s presence. Moreover, this got me traumatized when I am without him.

Because of fear, I started suffering frequently recurrent convulsions, which started from the cradle. It was so terrible that I keep experiencing attacks at night. This usually happens when I stretch my hands and realize my dad is not there to feel. The feeling of my dad’s absence creates a shock that affects me more than the shock of electricity and this shock often lead to convulsion.

My parent had tried everything possible within their reach; nevertheless, they did not arrive at any solution to my predicament. It was as if I became a burden to my family. Despite the attacks I keep experiencing, I was never looking sick. The attack often comes at night when it is dark, I see dark clouds flickering through the window into the house, covering me. Suddenly, I will become stiffly freeze, jerking and gasping for air with my tooth clung to my tongue. If my dad is not fast enough to notice me, my tongue will be cut off by my teeth. My dad has always been timely, in coming to my rescue. My dad does not allow the evil convulsion tormenting my life to take my life by overpowering me. My dad has always been the fighter when I am been attacked. The weapon my dad often use is a spoon. He uses the spoon to separate my teethes from clinging to my tongue. Sometimes, when he cannot swiftly access a spoon, he uses his hand. I have severely bitten my dad, but he had never given up on me.

The evil convulsion tormented my life for so long. Nevertheless, the convulsion did not reduce my effectiveness and creativity, even my intelligence quotient becomes higher instead of dropping down. Life has brought me experiences of both good and bad times, but my dreams kept me focused, never giving up, knowing for sure that I have a brilliant future.

I used to have a strange vision, seeing myself grown big in the future. I saw myself helping people and giving them hope, even when I was just six. Experiencing the terrible torment of convulsion started affected my relationship with people because I tend to see them see me the way I see myself. I was without knowledge of whom I truly am, but I never gave up. Something in me would always pull me to go through.

I learned from my experiences when I was six that nothing can keep me down, except I choose to be down. Moreover, my parents were never giving up on me.

During the period of my torment, I used to visit my late eldest brother in our family land in Ikobi, where he farms. My elder was a superhero. I grew up to realize he has the strength of horsepower. My eldest brother was a great farmer who farm almost vehemently everything farmable. He farms cassava, yams, groundnut, maize, Bambara nut, guinea corn, etc.

The strength of my late eldest brother became my major form of motivation after his death, I told myself I must farm like him, no matter what it cost me. My late eldest brother was like the breadwinner of the family because he puts food on the table of the family. With my late eldest brother, my family had not to lack anything. I learnt persistence and commitment from my brother. My late brother was my role model in the areas of work. My late eldest brother was hard-working and never slacking in his responsibility to ensure that there is food in the house, year in and year out.

When I was visiting my eldest brother on his farm, I learned a lot from him and some senior friends in Ikobi. The name of one of the senior friends I learned from is Garba and Onjefu. They told me everything I need to know about my family land, which has a well that never runs dry, even during the dry season. Because the well, my family land was called Okpaole’ Egah. It was named after my granddad. This land is situated at the entrance into Otukpo immediately after Otukpo burnt Bricks Company. The land mediates between Ikobi and Otukpo General Hospital.

My dad told me that General hospital was also part of my family land, but was taken by the federal government, who compensated my granddad. He also told me that the land is native land, existing before the Ikobi village. From my dad, I was able to know that Ikobi is only but a settlement, which came to be because their ancestors were my granddad’s hired labourers, which means, Ikobi is not a village in Otukpo per se, but a settlement.

People from Ikobi settlement who comes to fetch water from my family well, told me that my granddad was a great man, a successful business tycoon, who was involved in breaking and selling stones. He is also a great farmer. Whenever I hear people tell me how great my granddad is, I used to tell myself that I would be greater, since I also have a passion for farming. My granddad was the major distributor in stones and sharp sand in laterite in Otukpo in his time. The terrain where he transacts his business is located in a hill in burnt bricks, which is his property where he mines laterite from the quarry.

The family land where my granddad does his farming is planted in heart of Ikobi. In everybody’s heart in Ikobi settlement, both small and great who had drunk from the well know that the land situated along the entrance of Otukpo tending to burnt bricks, mediating between Ikobi and Otukpo General Hospital belongs to the Family of Egah Ikwue.

After my late Uncle Ikwue, who was a younger brother to my dad, took over from my late granddad, he became the caretaker of the land. Many strange things happened, which affected my late eldest brother, who took over from my uncle. In the course of my eldest brother staying in that land as a caretaker, before his death, he used to experience strange attacks that left him psychologically distorted, always hearing strange voices of people accusing him. It was a strange spiritual attack and I wish I understand then, but now I do much more.

In 1992 until when my eldest brother died in the year 2000, but before then, my eldest sister, Ogede who works with the United Bank of Africa and my mum, had already died. It was all a strange death, which shattered my heart to the core.

My late brother received a lot of confrontation from people who were encroaching into the family land, but his strong will scared them away, of which one of the encroachers was by the name Doctor Ogbo. Doctor Ogbo now have a structure on my family land until this very moment. Nevertheless, concerning the period my brother was still on the land, Doctor Ogbo could not build on the land. The death of my brother, open up the portal for encroachers.

Our lives are surrounded by many experiences that make us ask many questions.

Why the oppression, even when we have no bad records at all? Why do people keep looking for our trouble, even when we do not want trouble? However, I just realize that my immediate family is special in the agenda of God, of which I am yet to find out concerning the period I was advancing. Nevertheless, I have discovered that my family is chosen and has a strong role to play in fulfilling the agenda of God on this last day.