Awakening The Silver Wolf

walk with me

Bella pov

I needed to talk to Asher.

That was what I kept telling myself as I sat through dinner pushing food around my plate.

Luna had been unbearable the entire time, nudging me every few minutes and urging me to go to him.

After the talk with Leon, I realized that Asher had been protecting me silently and without asking anything in return.

Vivian was still hunting me down and him not allowing me to leave the pack had nothing about controlling me but wanting me to be safe.

He saved my life and asked for nothing in return.

And what did I do? I had treated him like the villain in my story when he had done nothing but show me kindness since I opened my eyes in his pack.

Hunter betrayed me, that was true. But Asher was not Hunter.

It was not fair to keep handing him the bill for someone else's sins.

He deserved an apology from me. I didn't want to pass off as an ungrateful b***h to the people who treated me like I mattered after my mother.

When I spotted a servant heading down the east corridor carrying a dinner tray, I knew that was my chance to see Asher without being awkward about it.

So, I rushed and caught up with her.

"I can take that." I offered, eyeing the tray of food.

She looked at me uncertain, like she was contemplating that was a good option that would not land her ass in danger.

"I am heading that way anyway." I added quickly.

The lady offered me a polite smile and handed it over without further question.

I stood there holding the tray and told myself this was just about returning a kindness and started walking before Luna could say a single word.

She stayed quiet suspiciously.

The office door appeared at the end of the corridor.

The last time I was here, I ended up eavesdropping Asher’s conversation with Leon. That's how I learnt that Vivian was still after my ass for the first time.

I stopped outside, my heart was doing something unnecessary.

I almost turned back severally but stopped myself each time.

Gathering all the courage I could muster, I knocked gently.

"Come in." Asher called from inside.

I pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Asher was at his desk, papers spread in front of him and his sleeves rolled to his elbows. He looked up expecting whoever usually came at this hour.

When he saw me his expression shifted.

"Bella." He said. "I didn't expect to see you here at this time." He blurted out, looking taken aback by my presence.

Yes. He did not expect me here and definitely not at this hour.

His eyes moved to the tray in my hands then back to my face.

"You don't need to do that." He said. "We have servants to take care of such matters." He added softly.

I wanted to roll my eyes and snap that of course I knew that but I stopped, reminding myself that the bitterness I felt inside me was not because of Asher but Hunter and his fake ass Luna.

So, I smiled instead.

“ I wanted to see you so I offered to help the servant deliver your food.” I replied.

I'd thought saying that out loud would ne hard but with the words out, I realized admitting it didn't feel so hard.

I set the tray on the edge of his desk and sat across from him.

The office felt warm with books lining the walls and papers everywhere. A half empty cup that had probably gone cold hours ago.

He looked tired and I hadn't noticed that before.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Better." I said. “ I am feeling much better actually." I added and Asher nodded.

I twisted my fingers in my lap and reminded myself why I came.

"I wanted to apologise." I blurted the words before I could stop myself or hesitate.

Asher said nothing, he just watched me with those eyes, like he had expected that.

“ Apologise? For what Bella?” He asked, his eyes on me probing.

"For how I have treated you since I got here." I confessed.

"You pulled me out of my deathbed and gave me a place to rest and everything else I needed but probably didn't deserve.” I let out a small breath. "And all I gave you in return was cold shoulders and a sharp tongue."

"Bella…"

"Let me finish." I said quietly, cutting him off.

He closed his mouth obediently.

"I know you are not him." I said.

“ I know that you are not the one who hurt me but I kept looking at you and seeing him and that was not fair to you." I looked down at my hands. "You did not ask to be paired with me. Neither did I ask for this. But you have handled it with more grace than I have.

You deserved better from me." I continued.

The office was very quiet with Asher giving me his undivided attention.

"You don't have to apologise for protecting yourself." Asher said finally, his voice low. "After what you went through, I would have been more worried if you trusted me easily." He added.

After what I went through? Did he know that?

Did he know that I was… ?

No, that's not the point here.

“The doctor reported to me about your injuries and poisoning.” As if hearing my unasked question, he explained.

“ That does not excuse my behavior.” I said in a small voice because it was the truth.

“ It's okay. I liked how feisty you were.” Asher admitted with a chuckle. I found myself smiling.

I looked up and found him watching me with those eyes that always saw too much. I looked away.

"Leon told me about Vivian." I said. "About the rogues."

"I was going to tell you myself." He said. "I wanted to be sure first."

"I know." I paused. "Thank you for not letting me walk out into that."

He said nothing for a moment.

Then quietly. "You are welcome."

I nodded. Stood up to leave.

Then sat back down because there was still something sitting heavy on my chest that needed to come out.

"Alpha Asher,” I called.

"Even after everything." I started slowly. "Even though I appreciate your kindness and I see what you have done for me." I met his eyes. "I might still have to leave."

He didn't flinch at that but I swear I saw something flicker in his eyes.

"I want to live my life on my own terms." I continued. "I don't want to be shackled by a mating bond. I have tasted the bitterness of life and all I want now is my freedom. A simple, peaceful life away from all of this." My voice dropped. "I know I am being selfish but…"

"No." He suddenly said and I stopped.

"I don't blame you for wanting something and fighting for it." Asher said, his voice steady.

"You have every right to want that life."

He leaned forward, resting his arms on the desk.

"My only regret." He said slowly. "Is that I came into your life too late."

Something cracked quietly inside my chest.

"If parting after finding each other is our fate." He continued. "Then I will accept it." His eyes held mine. "And I will wish you well."

I stared at him, completely taken aback.

I had prepared myself for arguments or for him to use the mate bond as a weapon the way Hunter had used everything else.

Instead he sat there and told me he would let me go and mean it.

I didn't know what to do with that.

I didn't know what to do with any of him.

"Eat your food." I said finally, my voice coming out smaller than I intended. "It's getting cold."

The corner of his mouth moved.

Asher stood and walked around the desk to the tray. Then he paused and looked at me.

"Walk with me after." He said simply.

"Okay." I replied quietly.