Feelings of Life Torment

episodes 2

Suddenly, all the pain accumulated in his heart seemed to boil up at once. John could no longer control himself. He cried out in agony. His chest was pounding, as if the intense pain of love accumulated inside was tearing him apart. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, and those tears mixed with raindrops and soaked his chest. It was as if nature had become his companion in his sorrow.

After a while, John slowly controlled himself. He wiped away the tears with his trembling hands. Then he sat down at the base of the oak tree with a tired body. The tree was like a silent witness to his life. All the stories of his laughter, tears, hopes and brokenness seemed to be hidden in the shade of this tree.

John's life is surrounded by countless memories. Suddenly, he remembered that first day. The day he came to join this college as a professor.

That morning was different. New place, new responsibilities. Everything was unfamiliar. A strange excitement and restlessness was working in his mind. When he reached the college, he saw that the gate was not yet fully opened. So he came and stood under this oak tree, exactly where he was sitting now. John did not notice that the sky had darkened with clouds. Moreover, the sky could not be seen clearly from behind the leaves of the trees in the garden.

The huge college building stood in front of him. John was staring at it steadily. He felt as if he was standing on the threshold of a new chapter in his life. But at the same time, numerous questions were swirling in his mind.

Will he be able to be a good teacher?

Will the students accept him easily?

Will he be able to develop a different identity of his own in this new environment?

Question after question seemed to be storming in his mind. He stood quietly and tried to calm himself, taking deep breaths again and again. Just then, a sweet voice came to his ears.....

"What are you thinking?"

John was startled and looked back. That voice seemed to bring him suddenly back to reality. As he turned, he saw a beautiful woman looking at him and smiling softly.

She had an umbrella on her head, wearing a white dress, simple, yet beautiful. She seemed to shine even more brightly in the cloudy soft light of the sky. Her smile was calm, sincere, and her presence filled the surrounding environment with a strange warmth.

John felt a sweet fragrance wafting from the woman's body, like the smell of fresh morning flowers. That smell and her smile combined to create a feeling that filled John's mind in an instant. As if all his restlessness was disappearing.

For a few moments, John just stared at her. Time seemed to have stopped. The sounds around him, the patter of raindrops, everything seemed to have moved away. Only that woman and her smile seemed to become real.

John began to wonder, who was this stranger? There was curiosity in her eyes, and a slight mischievous smile on her lips.

Just then, John noticed that a small smile had appeared on his own face without his knowledge. He himself did not realize when that smile had come to his lips.

The woman said again, “What are you thinking about, looking at the college while it is wet in the rain? And why are you smiling like that?”

John felt a little embarrassed. He immediately noticed that his clothes were almost completely soaked in the rain. He had not realized it until now.

He smiled lightly and said, “To be honest, I don’t even know what I was thinking. And you have asked so many questions at once, I am wondering which one to answer first!”

There was sincerity and a slightly unprepared smile in his voice. The woman smiled softly and looked at him. There was a strange assurance in that smile, as if she was trying to say that everything will be fine. At that moment, John understood that there are some moments in life that are very small, very ordinary, yet they unknowingly become the most profound memories of life. That first meeting, that rainy morning, and that stranger's smile, everything together seemed to be the beginning of a new story in his life.

Today, after all this time, sitting under that same oak tree, John is thinking about that day again. The only difference is, then his eyes were filled with dreams and questions, and today his eyes are filled with memories and tears.

Nevertheless, a smile unknowingly appears at the corner of his lips as he remembers that day. Because, some memories never just hurt, they remind us of how much we once learned to live with our lives.