ERASED

“please, please, please don’t hurt me again,” she cried, she was still in pains from the previous times, she was bleeding nonstop, and she wasn’t getting any treatments. “It’s hurting,” she cried. “Ssshhhh!” He placed his index finger on his lips while the other pressed her down to the bed. His heavy thirty year old body weighed against the light and very fragile ten year old. “Be a good girl and you won’t get hurt,” he had a sinister smile plastered on his face. He lowered himself on her, brushing his lips against hers, fiddling with parts of her body that was yet to develop. The poor girl laid in bed, crying, feeling completely helpless. Almost three years of her life and this has been her reality, her bitter reality. He began to unbuckle his trousers and tried to pull her pants down when he felt a heavy weight land on his head, catching him off guard. He staggered back, falling to the ground, holding his now bleeding head with pieces of the broken vase scattering everywhere. “Arrggghhh!!!” He groaned in pains but the little girl pulled up her shorts and bolted for the door. He tried grabbing her legs but she jumped over him and continued to run as far as her legs could take her, limping every step of the way as she was still in pain from the previous forceful actions the demon made against her. “Where do you think you’re going, you bloody brat?” Her mother grabbed her arm, squeezing it so tight, eyes red and puffed from the weed she had been smoking and her breath stinking of alcohol, glaring down at the little girl she gave birth to. “Hold that b***h down Caroline!” She turned around to see the monster with a bleeding head standing by the corridor, she looked back at her mom whose eyes got darkened by the second, the grip getting tightened, her nails digging deep into her skin the girl winced in pain. “Mommy, he was doing it again,” she cried and pleaded but as usual, her mother ignored, but the girl was tired. She was tired of being a s*x tool kept for the pleasure of the man meant to protect her. She was tired of feeling like a big mistake to the woman who is responsible for her being here. There was only one way for her to escape, because if she remained there, she would get locked up and he would r**e her, again, and again, and again, until he was satisfied, and her mother would sit in the living room, smoking cigarettes and weed and taking drugs, forcing her young self to take them too for the pleasures of the demon she married. She bit her mom so hard, channeling the anger she had built up for the last couple of years, she continued to dig deeper with her teeth until she felt a bit of flesh coming off and the taste of blood on her tongue. “You psychopath!” She pushed the girl away so hard and held on to her bleeding arm. The young child took that as her opportunity to run away. She bolted through the door slamming it behind her and running as fast as she could. She paused in her tracks, looking at the house across the one she stayed, the lights were off, the sadness coming, the unwillingness to run and leave it all behind, she looked at the house few minutes away from the one directly in front of hers, it was definitely empty tonight, and that was when it dawned on her. She was certainly all alone in this world. Her heart raced again when she heard the door swing open , she turned around to see the man and woman she had been living with running to catch her but she ran again and again, by now, just the man was chasing after her. She didn’t realize what was going on until she heard a loud car horn that drew closer, and closer until the sounds she was hearing were sounding like echoes, and her vision became blurry until it became pitch black. ~ I gasped from my sleep sitting up with a panic attack enveloping me. I leaned against the headboard, and tried to breathe slowly. “Breathe in,” I sucked in a deep breath. “Breathe out,” I let out a heavy sigh, “it’s only a bad dream Marilyn. You’re not the girl, even though you look exactly like her when you were much younger.” I tried to reassure myself. I repeated the breathing exercises for three times until my heart started beating normally again. “Honey, you’re going to be late for…” my mom opened the door and she could tell that I had the nightmares again. She walked in and put the back of her hand on my neck again. “If you’re frightened about moving, you don’t have to. We can find a job here for you,” “We’ve been over this mom. Leaving is best for me, I can’t keep showing up to work ten minutes late and I like it there,” I explained. “Besides, the nightmares, they’re about the accident. This little girl that looks like me,” “It’s just a dream.” “Mom, it’s not just a dream. I’m having flashbacks of events that aren’t mine. I need to see someone about this,” “You’re old enough to make decisions for yourself Marilyn. You’re twenty five, it’s your call.” She said. “However, I believe these nightmares of yours are as a result of the horror movies you watch at night before you go to bed. They aren’t real,” her favorite line. I know she doesn’t believe in superstitions like this, and she’s not even religious, neither is my father. Every time I bring this up, they shut it down so fast, I’ve always had them for as long as I can remember but this year, they have become really intense and frequent. I refused to argue about the dreams I keep having, not having anything to do with horror movies that watch, I didn’t even watch television last night. Today is supposed to be a good day, the start of something new. I’m finally moving out of my parents house, going back to town because of work. I found a simple and nice apartment that’s a few streets away from the company I work for. No more getting fined for coming to work late consistently. I already had a truck move majority of the important stuff so today it’s just my clothes that aren’t a a lot. It’s a whole two hours drive. “Breakfast is ready, you need to hurry so you can get settled in time to resume from your short holiday,” my mom said. ~ “Bye mom.” “Drive safely honey, be careful.” She said sternly, I smiled at her. How’s telling me to be safe going to make me safe? She then walks over to the car and says, “If getting a therapist is what would help you, my child, to grow, then by all means my darling, get one.” She kissed the top of my head and now I’m leaving. I take a deep breath and grab my steering wheel. My father and mother wave at me while I’m continuing my breathing exercise. I pushed all the negative thoughts behind me and decided to focus on the journey that’s ahead of me, that I can see. I waved back at them and I began to drive out of the garage and was now onto the express way. A new journey has just begun and I’m here for it. The only problem is I don’t know if it’ll be a negative change that’ll ruin us forever or positive that makes all things better. The journey to my new apartment makes me bubble on the inside.