My Rockstar Baby Daddy

Chapter 18 Overthinking and Stress

POV: Sapphire

The ground is covered in snow making it hard for me to travel today. Here in Kingston Hollows it only snows once or twice a year. Sometimes it doesn't even snow. Winters are the hardest for me because I don't have a car. It looks like today I'm walking to work and leaving the skateboard home.

I take Rusty out to potty before I leave for work. We walk half the block instead of the usual whole block. It is freezing out here. Poor Rusty was even ready to get back inside from it being so cold. "Bye-bye, baby. I'll see you later. Ella will stop by to let you out later." I tell her before I go.

Ella is coming by later to drop off some stuff she thought I could use. I walk as quickly and carefully as I can to the cafe shivering my ass off. I'm just glad I don't live very far from the cafe. That would be a nightmare.

On the way to the cafe, my phone begins to ring. I take my phone out of my pocket to see who the hell is calling me. It's Hayden. It's been a week since I told him about the baby. This is the first time he's contacted me since that day. I choose to accept the call. "Hello."

"Hi, Sapphire. I know it's been a week and I'm sorry but I just needed some time to wrap my head around everything." He says. "It's fine. I understand." I respond not knowing what to say. Why is he calling me now? Has he changed his mind about everything? Maybe he said all of that out of shock. Or is he calling to check on the baby? Ugh, I need to stop overthinking everything.

"Uh, yeah. So I was just calling to see if we could meet up and talk. I'm free on Tuesday." Hayden says just as I make it into the cafe thankfully shielding me from the cold. "Uh, yeah we can meet up. What time?" I ask. "Great! How about Tuesday Morning, maybe 9 a.m." Hayden says. "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have school. We do enter into Christmas and winter break on Thursday though. Maybe we can meet then." I suggest.

"Uh, yeah. I can make that work. Quick question. High school or college." Hayden asks. I realize the age difference is a bit bizarre for both of us. Being in college might make this a little better but unfortunately, I'm not. "High school. It's my senior year." I say awkwardly. I hear him groan through the phone. "I know, how dare I be in high school." I sarcastically joke. "That's not funny," Hayden says sounding annoyed. "Whatever. Hey, I googled you by the way." I tell him. I was quite amazed at what I found.

I begin setting the coffee machines to brew. "Yeah? Well, what do you think?" He asks sounding interested in my opinion. "I liked that song, Sapphire Eyes. I've always liked blue eyes." I tell him. "That's one of our newer songs. It's actually about you." Hayden reveals. Oh. It's about my eyes. Wow, that put a whole new meaning to that song. "Ooh, so do you write a song about every girl you sleep with?" I ask. I don't know why but I suddenly felt jealous at the thought of him writing songs about other girls.

"Not all of them. Anyway, I should get going. I'll text you later for further details on where and when to meet." Hayden says before hanging up the phone. I pocket my phone and continue setting things up for opening. Lucy is running errands today so I'm opening today.

Once I have everything set I flip the sign to open. I make myself my favorite coffee but use decaf instead. I think I read somewhere that caffeine is bad for the baby. I was able to make a doctor's appointment to make sure everything was okay with the baby. However, they could only fit me in on January 2. Christmas and New Year are coming up so it's a busy time and people are taking vacations to be with family.

Hmm, family... It's crazy that I will soon have my own family. Even if it is just one baby. How do I even take care of a baby? No one ever taught me. I should take one of those parenting classes, right? There is so much that I need to do to prepare for this child. Every time I think about it more and more stuff pops into my mind. I almost feel sorry for this baby because it's being born to a chaotic mother who has no idea what she's doing.

"Hey!" I look up at the person snapping their fingers in my face grabbing my attention from my thoughts. Dread fills me as I see who it is. Josh. "What?" I snap at him about to throw a spoon at him. What the hell is he doing here? He knows he's not supposed to be here. Lucy banned him when she banned Mia.

"Easy, I just want to talk," Josh says holding up his hands in surrender and giving me one of his charming smiles. That smile used to work on me but not anymore. "Talk? Are you kidding me right now? I have nothing to talk to you about." I tell him. He can't charm his way back into my life as if he did nothing wrong. He and Mia have spent the past two and half months bullying me after they cheated on me.

"But, we do. Look I get that you're mad at me. Ok, I know I f****d up. I'm not here about me though. I'm here about Mia. She's upset and is turning into a person I don't recognize anymore. After you ended things she changed. Will you please just talk to her?" Josh says. "Are you stupid? Did you ever think that maybe Mia's true colors are shining now? Maybe this is her true personality. No, I will never talk to that slut ever again. Now get the f**k out." I yell.

No way in hell did he just ask that of me. Mia dug her own grave. "You know Saf, I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry about that. You didn't deserve that. I'm fully aware of my mistake but you have to admit what you did was wrong too. You slept with some random guy out of spite. Then you shamed me in front of the entire school. You could have done this privately instead of being petty about it. You didn't even try to talk to me about it. Mia misses you. She's too prideful to admit she was wrong so I'm here asking you to please help me end this feud and bring our friendship back." Joah says.

"No, First friends don't bully each other. Did she tell you she called me a little orphan Annie that nobody ever wanted and she only hung out with me out of pity? You and her both have bullied me ever since the breakup so no I will not talk to her. If she wants to mend things then she better be the one to make the first move because I certainly will not. Secondly, I did try to talk to you. I gave you every chance to tell me the truth and you sat there a lied to my face. You said there was nothing going on between the two of you when there was. Then you ditched me on my birthday to meet up with Mia. Your dad had to take me home. You knew that day was rough for me since I was no longer in the system and my life was all up to me from now on. Yes, I slept with some random guy out of spite and paid for it. I shamed you because I was angry and hurt. I loved you and you betrayed that love. I was willing to give you everything. Now, there's nothing. I can't afford this stress, Josh. We both made mistakes that day, yes. Just be glad your mistake won't affect your life the way mine has." I vent out to him.

I don't know what game he's playing at but I'm not trusting anything that leaves his mouth. Josh looks down in shame. "You're right, we have been bullying you. I wanted to blame you for not forgiving my mistake and fighting for me. You didn't even try to fight for me. You didn't even try to fix it. I was angry at myself for putting you in that position. I crossed the line with Mia. She was your best friend and I screwed that up." Josh says trying to justify himself.

"Josh, just stop this. It will never happen. Why should I have fought for you, hmm? If you weren't willing to wait for me and choose only me then what was the point in fighting for you? I can't force you to love me. I can't force you to be with only me. If you can go and be with another girl then there is nothing to fight for. You either want me or you don't. You crossed the line the second you stuck your d**k into another girl that wasn't me. It wasn't just Mia. You're not sorry for what you did. You're sorry you got caught. Now go before I call the police." I warn him holding back the tears. He can't just come in here saying those things to me and expect me to come crawling back to him. I can't forgive him, I just can't do it.