Meet Me in Secret

In My Room

Who might it be? Someone was trying to disturb me? My pink covered phone was upside down so I pick it up and the name of Jon showed on the screen. What was I supposed to feel in those moments? Should I be happy or should I be worried? A lot of questions about a basic ringtone. Anyway, I touched the green area on the screen and put it next to my right ear.

-Hana, -he called me through the phone.

-Jon,- I said with a worried facial expression and with a worried mind.

-Are you awake?

-Yes, I am. Are you okay? You don't sound okay.

-Hana, listen to me. I need to talk to someone, can I meet you?

-In that time? It is almost midnight.

-Yeah, you are right! I'm calling Kris though, -he said with a frustrated voice.

Hana what the hell are you doing? He is supposed to be your crush and your best friend. He needs you. Right now!

That was the voice of my consciousness.

-No, -I interrupted him, -you can come and talk with me.

-Ok, -he said changing his tone of voice.

-Meet me in secret in the street behind my house, after 15 minutes.

-I'm coming!

Sometimes I think I am the cook of the feelings. I don't feel just one single emotion. When I am feeling emotional, I might be feeling worried, happy, high-adrenalin or sad.

Carefully I got out of the house and I went to the street behind my house. Jon was waiting there. He had worn a yellow t-shirt, a black jacket and shorts. As I approached him, he hugged me. He was crying.

-I can't stand it anymore. They don't stop arguing, -he said in tears.

-They? Who?

-My mom and dad.

That was really sad.

-They argue as many times as possible. Every time they have the chance they argue, -he said.

I saw the face of a little teary sad kid.

After a small talk between us he said:

‐Hana!

-Yeah.

-Can I sleep at your house tonight?

-At my house?- I said surprised. He was that sad, -I don't know.

-Please, Hana! I can not stay there tonight, -he begged me.

-Okay!

My answer was cooking some various feelings.

-We headed to my house. I opened the door slowly and we got inside. We were both tiptoeing carefully and in silence. After some steps, the kitchen's light turned on. It was my dad. I appeared to show in the light letting Jon in the dark.

-Hana!- my dad said,-where were you?

I needed to improvise immediately.

"Think, Hana! Think!" my mind told me.

-It was Cooper! Copper was crying because he was hungry. I heard him as I was reading in my room. I fed him with milk and then I got inside.

Cooper is a street dog in our neighbourhood. He doesn't have any owner, but I care for him as many times as I can.

- Oh, that mischievous Cooper!- my dad said.

He doesn't like dogs.

-Ok, honey! Go to bed now! It's late!

I started climbing the stairs and I was ...slowly.

-Hana!

What now?

-If you wanna care for Cooper, do it during the day. It's dangerous during the night! I have heard some theft cases in our neighbourhood so be careful!- he advised me.

-Ok, I will.

My father went to his room. We continued to tiptoe. Then we were at my pink, light even during the night and glowing room. My room is important and very special to me. I don't like sharing it with anyone but that night I made an exception. The exception was Jon, of course.

He was silent. He sat in my bed and was looking at me with those lovely eyes. I can not explain what his eyes were trying to express. I was... I don't know at all.

Then he laid down on my bed.

-Ohaa, Jon! It is my bed! Your bed is the sofa!- I explained to him.

-No, no, no. Wait! You are saying to me that I will sleep not only on that sofa but I need to sleep in that pinky one.- he said.

-What's the problem with my pink sofa friendoo?? If you don't wanna sit there, you know what to do. Right?

Then I started laughing for no reason. It was 1 a.m and we were still awake and we were having an uncommon conversation between us. An uncommon conversation?! We were talking in low voice. The 1 million dollars question is: What could we talk about?

Jon was a desperate kid. He missed the love of his parents and he was in a way I could say, jealous of me for having a happy family.

-Hana.

- Yes.

-You are lucky for having a quiet family.

I didn't know how to respond. Every possible response could hurt him in a way. So I chose not to say a word or any comment about it.

-Do you wanna know something I have never told anyone, Hana?

- I do if it makes you feel better.

-You see that burned mark in my left wrist that is there for 5 years now. And you have asked me when I got that and I told you that I got burned in the grill. Well, it was a lie.

-Yeah....-I replied seeing the mark on his wrist with a facial expression of curiosity.

- I got burned during an arguing between my parents. They were shouting to each other and I was in the kitchen trying to fry an egg because I was hungry. I told my mother to cook it, but she was busy with my father. From the living room, they moved to the kitchen where I was, unfortunately. They were about to fight but the pan with hot oil changed everything. My mother got the pan to hurt my father but it was full of hot oil and she poured in the left wrist of the little boy who was just trying to eat something. After I got burned, I was headed to the hospital emergency and it was one of the moments I remember they were not arguing. They cared about me only when I wasn't good and when I was sick. So I found the solution. The little kid's tears would stop only if I get hurt. I got hurt by myself several times on purpose. But then I was a pre-teenager and was focusing more on myself.

I didn't know what to say or how to comfort him. I just hugged him for a long time. And then I started asking.

-But Jon why didn't they got divorced? If they didn't love each other, there was another solution that couldn't hurt any other person.

- That is another case. It another long story.

- I have time. You can confess,-I told him watching him straight in his black-brown eyes.

- I am 17 years old and my parents know each other for 20 years. As the other lovers, they loved each other. They were in university when they first met. They didn't have any good income. So after finishing college, they started a job, my mother as a lawyer and my father as a teacher and then they bought their house. They both worked to buy that house. And now they are waiting for each other who will leave first but it seems like none will.

-That's ...I don't know how to describe that situation...

They are acting with stubbornness,- I told.

-I know,-he said with a sad and not happy face, -they have ruined everything. They have ruined my family, they have ruined...me.

Those moments made me forget everything. As we were sitting on that pink-that-Jon-hated sofa he got to his feet and lifted me and he was holding my hands. I was excited. Why should I be excited?!

-Hana, I want to say you something, -Jon said and while saying that I was focused on his lips that were moving.

-Yes.

-We know each other for a long time. You are one of my best friends.

-Hmm, -I said while I was waiting for him for telling me something that I would like to hear.

-But you are more than... more than.. a...

Jon was excited. I felt that he was. He was murmuring and he was embarrassed. Later he didn't finish what he was saying but he acted. He approached more and was close enough to me. He did it. He kissed me.

Jon kissed me

I felt his soft lips. I was the one who liked him the most but he did the first step for us. I felt like I touched the sky, I touched the impossibility. It was magical. I don't find the right words to describe all this. I just liked it. I loved it.

He kissed me, then he was looking deep into my eyes. I was looking into his eyes, too. After a few seconds, we lied down in my bed and...

Beep, beep, beep. It was morning. The time was 7:00 a.m. Jon was in my bed, as I saw it in my dream. Wait, was it a dream?

Or it wasn't? My thoughts started mixing. We didn't anything right?

-Of course, you didn't Hana. You are a good girl and you're not an easy girl at all,- my angel in my right shoulder said.

- Sure you did something last night!- my devil in the left shoulder told me.

I told them to stop.

-Hana! Wake up, honey! - my mother said.

I hurriedly tried to wake up Jon.

-Jon, Jon, Jon. Wake up!

- Wait! Five minutes more.

Jon, the heavy sleeper. I just found out he was a heavy sleeper.

He didn't wake up. So I lightly slapped his face to wake him up.

He woke up.

-Get up, get up! My mum is coming.

-Okay.

He headed to the door.

-Where are you going?

-Out.

-Not from the door. They might see you.

I was thinking and looking for a place to hide him. Then I saw the window.

-From the window.

-What?!?! You are kidding, right?

-No, I am not. Hurry up! My mum is coming.

My mum knocked calling me. I told Jon to throw up from the window. I forced him to throw because I was in trouble.

I opened the door.

-Hana, why did it take too long to open the door?

-I was being changed mum.

-But you are still wearing your pyjamas.

-I mean I was looking for clothes to get changed,- I said while I was dealing with great anxiety.

- Okay. Be ready and come to have breakfast!

-Okay, mum. I will.

I finally got relieved. After closing the door, Jon came to my mind.

Jon!!!