The Choosing Game

Dinner Date

My conversation with the Anna and the queen only made things worst for me, i felt worst whenever i had to watch my Alex with either Ruby or Amy.

I love him. I love Alex but i can't put myself through another heartbreak. I don't think i can survive it, at least with Nick i had no control over it, i am not going to be blindsided by love ever again.

"Doesn't the sun feel so great?" Luke interrupted my thoughts.

"Yeah, it does" i replied with a small smile.

He asked me to hang out, said he would like to know me better since we could be in-laws so here we were sitting in the beach, basking in the sun but in silence. I dug my bare feet into the warm sand and sighed at the warmth.

"Well this is awkward..." he sang.

I chuckled at that "why is it awkward? We have hung out before right?" I asked.

"I don't think we have just the two of us" he pointed out.

"Oh yeah.. we are always around other people" i chuckled.

We fell quiet again and gave way to the soft swishing sound of the waves. "I just realized i don't really know anything about you" i said again.

"No... but that is what we are doing today" He said turning to me, he had a big smile on his face. He looked a lot like Alex but the smile gives him away, he has a big goofy smile while Alex's smile held such sophistication.

"Let's then" i smiled back at him.

"Ok. You have met my siblings and you know that i got all the good looks, obviously" he winked at me.

I laughed at that "obviously" and winked back.

"On a serious note though, i am a middle child meaning i am naturally neglected. Alex is the first born and next in line to the throne so he has all of our father’s attention. Anna is the only girl; meaning our mother's attention is always on her, i know what you are thinking though and you are wrong. I love being the middle child, i have no real responsibilities or high expectations or any serious restrictions. I have the same freedom with any nobleman in court" he explained.

"Don't you want to be king?" I asked.

"Nope. I like being the king's son and one day the king's brother, someday even the king's uncle" he shrugged.

I smiled "i like the way you think Lucas."

He chortled at my comment. "What about you Lady Lilliana? Would you one day like to be Queen Lilliana?" He asked.

My smile fell, just the thought of it makes me freak out. "Did you not have the privilege of seeing my interview tape?" I asked bitterly.

"Oh come on! That was months ago, when you were still against this, against my brother but now.. you are not. In fact you are the opposite of against him." He told me.

"I wasn't- -i am.. that isn't the point"

"What is then?" He asked softly.

I sighed "i don't want to be queen for the same reasons you don't want to be king" i simply replied.

"Yes but i am not in love with the future king" he said in a tone dripping with sarcasm.

I rolled my eyes at that. "That was not planned and i have been trying really hard not to think about it just yet"

"You are a special kind of Lady, do you know that?" He asked but then continued talking "every other girl has her eyes on that throne but you don't. You love the man but not his crown, how?" He asked again.

I shrugged, thinking about what he just said "the thing is... i hated the Alex i first met when i arrived here and it was because he was 'Prince Alex' then but then i got to know Alex, just Alex without a crown... and he is wonderful and i forgot about the king and queen part. I don't know if i can be what everyone expects me to be, i am not cut out for it" i explained exasperatingly.

"Wow!" He mused. "Being queen will be hard, but think about it this way... you won't be queen right now. Right now, you will just have Alex. You will have each other and you will slowly blend into the whole royalty thing until you have to be queen" he had such a serious expression as he spoke, as if the only reason he got out of bed this morning was to convince me of this. It made me wonder if Alex was putting them up to this.

"I know all about that Luke, i do but i have med school and i have always wanted freedom and the only thing loving your brother can't do for me is grant me my freedom" i was determined to make him see things from my own perspective. As selfish as that sounded, it was still how i felt.

"Nobody would stop you from going to med school, besides it is already here, in the capital and as far as having freedom goes, you we never going to get that even without the prince, you are still the only daughter of the duke of Elma" he reasoned.

I hissed at what he just said, his words sounded almost harsh to my ears "leaving home to med school was going to be my freedom, i had plans; i was going to do my residency at a peace corp in Africa, i was going to see the world but how can i do that when i a busy becoming a princess?!" My voice raised as the sound of the waves did the same.

"So... what does this mean?" He asked, i had a feeling he was trying to push my buttons but it was working.

"I don't know" i ran my hand over my face. "All i really know is i want to be with him... the rest i have no clue about" i concluded.

He was quiet, then he let out "wow!" And a little laugh "i did not see that coming" and added "there is hope for the both of you after all"

I wanted to ask what he meant but i was tired of discussing the topic so i just let him be. We sat there for a while then he got up and stretched his hand out to me. "What?" I asked, as i skeptically took it.

"I am going to get you a popsicle and take you home" he said with a smug expression.

I giggled and followed him "this was a short outing though" i pointed out.

"I know.. but i already got all that i need to know about you" he said with his goofy grin.

I gasped playfully "i feel used" i gently hit his arm. He just laughed. We got to the popsicle stand got four of raspberry lemonade flavor and head back to the palace, not once did our guards leave our sides.

We met Alex by the main entrance, walking some royal dignitaries out. His eyes lit up when he saw me and that made me so happy. He gestured us to come over, i was reluctant to but Luke dragged me over.

I was wearing a teal blue spaghetti strap sundress with sandals, my hair was in a messy ponytail and i was very sure there was sand in my underwear. I had a popsicle in my hand. We reached them and Alex wrapped his arm around me and pulled me to his solid chest.

"Gentlemen, may i introduce my brother, Prince Lucas and Lady Lilliana" he spoke to the men.

The two men shook mine and Lucas's hands. "Is this one of the Ladies in the Choosing?" One of the men asked.

I shifted uncomfortably as all of their eyes scrutinized me, Alex tightened his hold on my waist slightly in a protective way. "Yes, yes she is Mr. Montgomery" he replied a bit sternly.

The man smiled, it wasn't a nice smile but it was a smile "She is a beauty" he mused.

Alex cleared his throat at that "ok gentlemen, i appreciate all your help. You will be informed when the documents are drawn up and ready to be signed" he said dismissing them. He didn't wait for a reply from them, he pulled me into the castle with Luke trailing behind us along our shadowing bodyguards.

Luke was laughing behind us while Alex on the other hand looked as if nothing had just happened, he reached out and took a big bite of my popsicle. "Hey!" I protested.

"How was your little outing?" He asked me.

I shrugged "it was.. refreshing" i said.

"Actually, it was very refreshing" Luke interrupted.

"Luke!" I screeched, cautioning him to remain quiet. He laughed at me then started humming a tune.

"What are you hiding?" Alex asked curiously.

I shrugged again and refused to meet his eyes. He poked me and i swatted his hand away, he wrapped both hands around my waist and tickled me, i laughed hard at the discomfort "st- - stop... s- sto" i giggled.

He stopped the looked me in the eyes and asked "will you tell me now?"

I hurriedly pulled away and said "no." He came at me and i moved back gesturing him to stop "i can't tell you what we discussed!"

"Why not?" He asked with a hint of playfulness in his voice.

"Because... because it is about Luke" i lied.

"What about Luke?" They asked in unison.

I laughed and turned to Luke "don't worry Lucas, your secret is safe with me." His mouth hung open.

Then i turned to Alex and said, "and you! He will tell you when he is ready." With finality in my voice.

Alex laughed and Luke just remained in shocked "you are sneaky Lilliana" Alex said as he hugged me, he leaned in and kissed me on the lips.

Luke cleared his throat. "Ok and this is my cue to leave" he said moving past us. Nobody said a thing to him.

We sat in the drawing room in the south wing talking, eating lunch and Alex said "do you know what day it is?" A little quietly.

"Huh?" I asked absent minded.

"We have the last group date before elimination" he said.

I was quiet, so was he. He knew how i felt about these dates and especially after what happened at the last one, he knew i would not like the idea. I never check the schedule board because i don't want to know whatever crazy thing it is they want to make me do.

"Lilly" he called my name. “I wouldn’t make you go if it wasn’t mandatory, Ruby and Amy know this... and so do you”

When i didn’t say a thing or look at him, he said “i’m sorry”

I met is eyes and i immediately regretted doing so because i felt the anger and all of the other feelings i have been suppressing rushing to the surface. "Just stop! Alex, just... stop! You don't get bring up things that hurt me then apologize" i shot at him.

"Lilly..." he spoke, he sounded apologetic even though i was just asking him not to.

"No!" I shouted getting up on my feet "you have said enough, it is all you have been doing! Now it is my turn to talk! It is my turn.." my eyes filled up with tears and my voice cracked up.

He swallowed hard and nodded for me to continue. I let out a muffled cry, i hated feeling this way, i just... i hated it. “You cannot tell me enough how you have responsibilities your crown.. i know that! I know that but what about me? As selfish as this question may sound? What about me?!” I asked with the stupid tears gushing out.

He open his mouth and shut it when i raised my hand and gestured him to stop, i wasn’t done talking. “What is this? A relationship? You knew you couldn’t pick anybody until the competition is very well over but you still told me that you loved me. Do you think it is fun for me to see you with any of the other girls? Or am i not entitled to have feelings since i am not the prince?” I ran my hands through my hair and pulled at it in anger.

“I am the main target of an unknown threat, i am subjected to all kinds of emotional torture from your other ladies, your whole family is poking at me to see if i am good enough for you. WHAT?..” i lowered my voice an octave and tried talking again “what the hell do you want from me?” I stood there with my chest heaving.

He stood up and i moved back a bit. “Lilly..” he called in a painfully sad voice.

I closed my eyes then opened them again. “Just..” i took a deep breath and continued “don’t answer that.. any of it” i moved to the door and started opening it.

“Lilly wait, please.” He pled with me but what could he possibly say to me to make me feel better?

“No. I.. i will see you later” i said as i got out of the room.