The Choosing Game

Jealousy

Alex's POV:

"Slow down Lilly" I yelled from behind her.

She giggled "you will have to catch me first" she shot at me as she picked up her pace. The horses neyed loudly as we raced through the fields. I took a moment to admire how her beautiful gold lock danced in the wind and how the soft melody of her voice filled the air.

My horse met up with hers in no time, i shot her a smirk as i swiftly passed her. "Hey! That's cheating" she protested as she tried to catch up with me.

I laughed at her protest "i'm just better honey" i shot over my shoulder. We raced for a little while longer then head back to the castle, we rode side by side and just talked.

She fell quiet as we approached the castle, i nudged her "penny for your thoughts?" I asked.

She shook her head and smiled.

"Come on.. Tell me" i urged.

She looked hesitant for a brief moment the she opened her mouth "it's just... it's nothing. Just that sometimes, for a slight moment i forget about home and i feel like i am right were i ought to be but then i remember, i miss my family so much and the guilt of forgetting about them for those few minutes eats at me." She looked away from me.

I felt terrible, why do i keep asking her about these things? I like the part were she said she feels in place but i feel bad that she is this home sick. "Do you hate me?" I asked in a whisper.

She looked at me in shock and shook her head vigorously, "i don't hate you... it's just that" she stopped then said "i don't hate you," and smiled at me.

I smiled back. We rode back, elated our horses and walked inside hand in hand. "Where to my lady?" I asked her.

She grinned "the library your highness"

I chuckled and walked her to the library. She picked up a book and came back to the sofa "watchu reading there?" I asked, poking her check.

"Siracusa by Dalia Ephron" i answered absent minded.

"Ok" i said letting her get back to her book. I got bored easily and started poking her but she kept swatting my hand away, then i moved closer and started placing little kisses on her neck. She smiled and mumbled "stop".

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against my chest, i trailed kisses from the side of her face down to her collar bone. She let out a throaty moan "Alex.."

I smiled against her skin, just knowing i had that effect on her made me so happy. I wanted her so much but we agreed to take things slow and i had to respect that. She placed her book down and turned to me, her lips fell on mine and they moved in a synchronized fashion, my insides stirred as the kiss got heated. We absorbed each other, taking in the feel and scents of each other.

"I love you" i whispered into her ear, i could feel her body quiver. At that very moment, i thought things could only go uphill for me but then my phone rang.

I groaned and pulled away, it was Amy. I have a date with Amy and it completely skipped my mind. I answered the phone "I'm sorry Amy, i will be right there" i said and ended the call.

My eyes met Lilly's and i immediately regretted it. She had a look of disappointment plastered all over her face, "I'm sorry Lilly, i have to do this. I'm really sorry" I apologized, taking her hands in mine and kissing her knuckles gently.

She pulled her hands away, forced a smile and said "it's fine." She picked up her book and turned back to it.

I sighed and got on my feet "Lilly" i called her attention.

"Yeah?" She answered without looking at me.

"There's nothing i want right now more than to stay with you, but i have an obligation. Please try and understand" she only nodded, she was angry and there was nothing i could do to make her feel better at the moment.

"I love you" i reminded her, with that, i left.

.....................................................

Lilliana's POV:

I hated feeling this way! I knew he had no choice but i still hated it and what i hate the most is not understanding why i feel this way. Every time he had to go to one of the ladies, it feels like something just pierced my chest. It's a crappy feeling.

Halfway through the book, i lost interest in reading it. I wanted to talk to someone, i walked to Anna's room and hoped she was around. Just to my luck, she was.

"Hey" she said, getting off the bed.

"Hey" i said as i sat on the bed.

"So... How is it going with my brother?" She wiggled her brows at me.

I felt my checks get warm "great.." i said. "It's going great but.." i couldn't find the words.

"But?" She asked cautiously "that doesn't sound good" she mused.

I sighed "was it this hard for you and Jason..." before she got the chance the reply, i cut her off "of course not, you did not fall in love with him in an ancient misogynistic competition" i said, feeling defeated.

She dropped her jaw, surprised at what i just said. I thought it was at my choice of words to describe the choosing but then she said "Lilly, are you in love with my brother?"

My mouth hung open too, for a brief amount of time "that's not what i meant. Anna i like your brother, yes but i hate the fact that i have to compete for him. It goes against everything i believe in, every fibre in my being is fighting against this but i can't help but get drawn in further. The worst part is how i feel when i see him with one of them, i hate how that makes me feel and i just..." i blew out a breath and buried my face between my palms.

I felt her hand on my back, she rubbed it soothingly "i cannot imagine how this feels Lils and i am very sorry you have to go through this but my brother truly loves you." She cooed. "Whatever he does, he does out of obligation. You have to understand"

"I understand what his obligations are but he knew from the start, i never wanted to do this. I never wanted to be a part of this Anna, he knew that and now here i am, elbow deep in a situation that i don't know how to get out of" i cried.

"Oh Lilly.." she hugged me "jealousy is a normal feeling, it's awful but it is normal" she chuckled a bit. "I feel the same every time Jason interacts with another female" she explained.

"I'm not jealous! I'm just conflicted. I can't be jealous, i knew what this was from the very beginning; a competition so what right do i have to be jealous? I am not! I just hate that i feel the need to compete for him" i informed her.

"Ok..." she drawled not quite convinced with my point. "You are not jealous but is it so bad to compete for him? You like him don't you?" She asked.

"I like him but that isn't the point. I shouldn't be fighting other girls for him, i shouldn't be competing for any man's attention. It should be the other way round, prince or not" i pointed out.

She was quiet for a second, then she asked "is this a feminist thing? You think the choosing is a misogynist tradition right? Because you do know that if i was next in line for the throne, all the noble men would be lining up as prospects for the choosing"

I rolled my eyes at her statement. "It isn't a feminist thing, it's a me thing," i stated.

She sighed "i don't understand you Lady Lilliana. The prince of Arindele is head over hills in love with you and somehow that only makes you more skeptical of life"

"Well you don't know the amount of times that life has screwed me over" i lamented bitterly.

"Have faith Lilly! Have faith!" she exclaimed in a singsong manner.

"I am trying" i said getting up on my feet, i bid her adieu and left. I wandered around the castle a bit, with my new assigned guard shadowing me. I didn't know what to do or where to go to, i didn't want to go back to my room, in order to avoid running into Alex and Amy and i did not want to go to the creek because the quietness makes me think and that is the last thing i wanted to do.

I hated my new security, he is huge and grumpy looking. He towers over me, making me feel dwarfish and he never smiles. He follows me everywhere all day long, i mean the least he can do is talk to me but no, the only response he gives to my infinite questions is a grunt or a nod. I do not like him one bit but Alex says that i don't have to like him, i just have to be safe.

I stopped in my tracks and felt him stop immediately, i spun around feeling irritated "Lincoln" i spat his name.

He grunted a reply. "We are in the palace, the most secure place in the whole of Arindele. You could take a break you know"

He grunted again which agitated me further. I was about to scream in anger when a voice interrupted me. "She is right Mr Lincoln" it was the queen herself.

"The poor girl needs a little breathing space" she added, i spun around to face her and curtsied immediately. She gave me a warm smile, she always had a warm front, a motherly kind.

"Your majesty" i greeted.

"Lady Lilliana, i trust you are doing better than the last time we met" she said with a gentle smile.

"I am. Thank you for asking" i smiled in return.

"Mr Lincoln, if you don't mind i would like to borrow the lady and i am sure my guards will be able to keep an eye on her" she spoke to my grumpy guard.

"Yes your majesty" he nodded and left. I was shocked to hear him speak, so he does speak just not to me apparently.

He left me with the queen who gestured me to join her, we walked together towards the garden. "I am really impressed that you made it this far into the competition.." she mused "but i guess we have my son's persistence to thank for that" she laughed gently at her own comment.

"Yeah, i guess we do" i said smiling at the memory of how we started off.

"We also have your remarkable talents to thank for that" she added.

"I don't understand what you mean, your majesty" i said looking lost.

She smiled, probably thinking i was acting coy. "I mean the talent show my dear, i do not think there was a single person that was not impressed by your performance. Your have a such beautiful voice"

"Thank you, your majesty"

We reached the garden chairs and i took a seat after the queen did. "Tell me something my dear, do you think Alex will make a good king someday?" She asked in a serious tone.

I did not hesitate in replying "yes" i looked down and smiled. "I have no doubt that he would. He can be arrogant at times but he has conviction above all. He prioritizes his duties over his own heart, i find it a little bit too good to be true but he has all the qualities of a great leader, i believe"

I peaked through my lashes to see her expression, she looked please with what i just said. "Lady Lilliana" she called my name after a short silence.

"Yes your majesty?" I listened attentively.

"Do you love him? My son, do you love him?" My heart skipped a bit, i didn't know that was what the wanted to ask me.

I averted my gaze to the large bed of roses behind her as i spoke "i do, i love him" i knew i do but i felt bad telling it to his mother first, not him.

The queen did not say anything further, she just smiled satisfactorily at my reply.