Burning hearts

Chapter 1. " Hailey, you are daydreaming again." Julie said. Julie is my best friend, and has been for the last 10 years she has been by my side through hell and back. We got to know each other when we were 10 years old. back then life was great but when I came home from our family vacation about 5 years ago I came home as a different person. But she was there to pick me up so I didn't disappear into the darkness. " Hailey." She said again. she sat down next to me and put her hand around my shoulders. I took my hand to my heart and in my head I quietly said to myself, "you will always be in my heart." " Sorry I was lost in my mind for a moment," I said to her. " Are you okay?" She asked - "is it?" ... " Yes I'm okay" I interrupted her, and smiled at her. She looked askance at me" you need to let go and enjoy life hailey, it's still eating you up. " I knew it well, I have been going into therapy for 2 years now and even though I have gotten better I am still haunted in my thoughts almost all the time. " Come on then " she said and got up," we have a double date we are going to." We've been going on so many dates that I can't count on so many at all, but no one has been able to replace Nathan. I took a deep breath, smiled at her and said " I'm ready." She was convinced that Double Dates was the only way I could find love again. Her words sounded something like - to heal a broken heart, one must find love. And she was right, but you can't just decide who you love, and my heart belonged to Nathan. I took a deep breath, again my thoughts were surrounded by him, they constantly haunted me, I closed my eyes, took a glimpse of the face that engulfed my whole world, then I pushed it back into my thoughts, opened my eyes and closed the door after me and followed after julie. The weather was nice and the sun was high in the sky, I had put on a light white dress that highlighted my feminine shapes, we arrived at the café we were to meet the boys at, we did not know Them in person, it's some Julie had come up with on the internet, as she always did. Before we stepped in the door, Julie turned around and looked at me. " Hailey promised me you Will give it a real chance this time, I have a really good feeling with these 2." Julie has been in contact with Alex for a couple of weeks. They have been chatting together over the internet and he was apparently just something for julie., And Alex had a good colleague that I had to meet. I rolled my eyes" of course, I always do that. " I knew well I was lying to myself, I had a craze to constantly compare my many dates with Nathan and no one could compare with him so deep down I knew all too well that the fight was already lost, maybe it was still my way to keep alive what my heart desired. But she was right, if I was ever to heal my broken heart, I had to try and let go. With that in my mind, we stepped into the cafe. Alex and Nick got up and introduced themselves in a respectful way, Alex and Julie had already found each other's eyes and their flirtatious look reminded me that there was probably a lot of opacity in me and Nick's presence. Nick was a real mother-in-law's dream, polite, beautiful in an elegant way, beautiful blue eyes, nice white well-groomed hair. Totally opposite of Nathan who was, black haired with dark eyes, always dressed in black, and rude and dominant towards Everyone except for me. I remember one day when we were at a bonfire party down by the beach, no one doubted that I was Nathan's girl as he called me. He was going to get something to drink for us, and when he came back a guy from the local area was sitting next to me, and trying to flirt with me, Nathan stood in front of him with an intense voice he said something in Italian to the guy, the guy got up , bent down in front of him and said a single word in Italian and then he turned around and walked away. Nathan was far from a mother - in - law's dream, but the person Nathan was with me was not what others saw. And I liked that, it made me feel special. Uhhhh now I do it again, comparing Nick with Nathan. Stop that hailey I thought and pushed my memories away again. The evening went surprisingly well. Nick was actually really sweet and loving and even funny. Maybe I could still heal my broken heart if I gave him a chance, so that was what I decided to do. . It has been about 3 weeks and we had now been on a lot of dates and had some nice days together. However, we still haven't been close to doing anything but kissing and holding hands, not because he wouldn't, believe me, he did all the right things, he was sexy and approachable, but for some reason, I keep holding on to something that once was and I just either said I'm sorry, or adding ekstra Word like I'm sorry I'm not ready yet, and so far he's been very indulgent, but I know i need to try and let go but it's so Hard when that feeling that Nathan gave me was missing. I can not describe that feeling but I searched for it. I missed it so deeply, as if a part of me was missing. I lay in bed and turned I couldn't sleep, thoughts running around as always divided in what I should do. Tomorrow we are going to the famous nightclub La Liva family. Julie persuaded me to go on a double date, I otherwise do not feel like, I know well what is going on in that club, a club where there are temptations all around, and Nick would be tempted to try more with me. I know I've been holding Nick back for 3 weeks now and I can see it in his eyes, his desire to touch my skin more, taste a little more of me, but ... I took a deep breath and exhaled. A tear in my eye rolls down my cheek. I took my pillow and squeezed it into my chest, a pain so indescribably sharp hit my heart when my thoughts went out on our family vacation 5 years ago, I closed my eyes and let the demons come. I cried while the memories of our 11 days together in Italy swam over me. and nothing could remove my pain except him." How could you just leave me like that." I whispered into the pillow.