Underneath it All

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

This feeling, why do I always come to this feeling. Loneliness, doubt, regret. Why do I always feel like we are becoming distant when we get so close being like before. Before all of this ever happened.

"going to work be back later it's going to be late night so don't wait up"

"Aw ok I guess I see you when you get home then"

Getting in the car I drive to Doc's bar and grill. I find me a seat in front of the TV.

"Hey Nate, still didn't tell the wife about the job yet? "

" No need, I will find a new one soon."

"So sneaky out pretending to be at work doesn't bother you? I mean lying to your wife doesn't eat you up inside."

"Its none of her damn business anyway. She just started her nursing job so she has more important things to worry about. It's not like she gives a f**k about me anyway"

"You have serious issues man, you keep treating that woman like a door mat you will sure lose her my dude. I can't even go a second lying to my wife she means the world to me. I care to much to disrespect her like that."

"Well you have your marriage and I have mine. I need a other shot please? Thank you."

"Hey Nate!"

"Hey Tim, wassup?"

"I seen the post your wife put up about a babysitter or something. Do you guys still need one my niece is good with kids man can you help me out?"

"Ask Ray Tim she handles all the house work I just stay out her way."

"Is it ok if my niece Drop by tomorrow morning her name is Rose and she really is good with kids man. She use to work at a daycare so the twins will be in good hands."

"Sure Tim now get out my face I'm trying to watch the game."

"Thanks man you want regret it I promise you want regret it".

Seconds went past minutes, then hours went by. I just sat there and even if I said to myself this will be my last drink my body disagrees. I kept drinking until I can't drink anymore. I don't know why I treat her the way I do. I love my wife atleast I thought I did. I had to or I wouldn't be at this bar.

To ashamed to face her in her face. To ashamed to admit I need help. What's wrong with me how come I can't love her like she loves me. I just blame her, I blame her for not needing me like I need her. I hate her for accomplishing her dreams while mine just keep sinking away from me. Funny how always and forever seem distant now and days.

* * * * * *

"He didn't suspect anything I promise."

"You better be telling the truth. Now get the f**k up outta here. Make sure that b***h of yours do her part or the both of you can kiss your daughter goodbye."

"She will I promise Metri please don't hurt my little girl".

"Than do as I say and get to work".

Things is starting to fall into place. The boss should be happy with results soon enough we will get what has been taken from us once more.

* * * * * * *

My head is killing me. I don't know what time it is or how I ended at home in bed. I turn over to find Ray missing from my side, it's fine somehow she always end up forgetting me anyway. I get up and head down stairs.

"Ray have you seen my keys?"

"yeah on the kitchen counter"

"who is this?"

"Rose this is my husband Nate, Nate this is our new nanny Rose."

I looked at my wife and then I looked at rose. I felt something that I haven't felt before hope.

"Well alright then."