Condemned

Elise’s POV: I stared up at the midnight sky, aglow with the harvest moon.  The stars danced against the backdrop like whimsically fated slaves of the night.  I sighed and took a breath. Next, I glanced frantically at the calendar each red X stared back with ravish purpose.  There was a line of them leading up to exactly tonight. The poor white calendar claimed and marred.  I touched the scar on my wrist and ran my thumb across it thinking of their shared fate and the many decisions I had made that had brought me to this day.  I shook my head to clear the chaotic rambling of what if’s and how comes. I turned away from the window and strode across the room towards the bed.  My heart pounded in a frantic rhythm. Why couldn’t this month be different! “Just this once!” I pleaded out loud to no one.  But knew very well that it wouldn’t be.  I could feel him in the air like fragrant moisture clinging to my flesh.  My body responded despite my many thoughts, he’d made sure it could never be my own in that regard.  There was a sudden gust and a chill ran up my spine. His presence surrounded me enveloping me in his will. I closed my eyes and braced myself as though all the world would come crashing down around me. In a sense… I knew it would.               “Hello, Elise.” He said in a calm even voice.  Goosebumps broke out across my skin and tears etched at the sides of my eyes.               “What do you want?” I asked quickly.               “You know very well what I want and why I am here.” He stated simply. Running his hand through my long chestnut hair.  I didn’t turn around but I could feel in the air that he was moving.                “Why do you follow me?”  I asked clenching my teeth. “You know I don’t want you.” There would only be a few minutes in the beginning that would be my own. I used them with words I knew would sting in hopes that if there was any real concern he might turn and finally leave me alone.  But a concern like that would require a soul or some traditional sense of love. I reminded myself, as I had a million times in the past, that this was not a fated love story.               “No?” he asked mockingly. I glanced to the right and could see only a shadow of his figure in the mirror. He held his hand up and waved it lightly. I closed my eyes tightly. I’d learned long ago that the power of his will against me worked faster if I looked at him, especially if I had made direct eye contact. I could feel the cool sensation of his will against me. It was beginning. Like an external beast, his will crept upon me from behind scraping at my shoulders. They relaxed instantly. His fragrant warmth filled the air. It was the sweet aroma of honey suckles and jasmine, my head rolled back and lulled against the force over taking me.                I lurched open my eyes and twisted away, but it was too late, he was standing right behind me. I spun directly into his arms. “There you are Elise.” He said calmly. His gloved hand reached up and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.  His breath ran down across my face and along my neck. “There are those eyes I longed to see. Why do you run from me?” His cool blue eyes almost glowed in the darkness. They were intoxicating. Those eyes… were once so comforting to me; they were the ill begot beginning of this entire mess. I looked mesmerized into them as they eased from blue to gold. Still trying to regain strength I yanked my head from his gaze. I shook my head almost unable to speak. “I hate you.” I managed.               “Shush!” he said smiling, “nonsense. You and I were meant for one another. You are my soul, Elise.” His maniacal voice tingled as he nuzzled into my neck.  I wondered hesitantly if he was right… two broken souls… meant for one another.  No, I decided finally. Not after everything we have been through. “Relax” he ordered. And that was it... That was all he had to say. My body submitted to him that night. And every night he’d found me before this. I knew in that instant that he would continue to follow me despite my many hesitations and objections. He would continue to find me. He would continue to come and take me. Rape me of my own ability to think straight. He would make me want him every time. I secretly wondered if it was all will and not some of my own desires.               I lived in my mind on nights like tonight. I tried so hard not to see what was happening, not to participate. But that was not how will’s work.  He had power over me and no matter how much I protested inwardly I would do as he asked. I would kiss him back. I would participate because he willed me to and because he’d marked me. Being marked meant I belonged to him.               I blame traditional entertainment for the trap I had fallen into. I blame romance novels. I had met Daniel when I was 16 years old. I learned his secret soon after. I accepted him, he became my best friend.  But the stories are wrong. Those who are damned are truly damned and cannot be good inside. They are not fighting against their urges to be better they are condemned and soulless.   How romantic. An animal that fights his deepest desires for the good of the woman he loves. But these demons are not capable of love. There is nothing in them but desire, lust, and a horrid need for control. He had his moments long ago and I assumed my life would end in a fairy tale. I assumed that despite the many things I had to give up to be with him that I would have anyway.               Soon, it was over. Daniel hovered in my bed as he willed me to sleep. I always fought the sleep. I always fought anytime I knew he was trying to control me.  I hated being the puppet on his string. As my eyes began to close I heard Daniel rise and sit back down.               “Damn it Elise! Why do you protest me so much?” There was a hit of sorrow in his voice. But it was an emotion I knew him incapable of.  He turned and the bed shrugged beneath his weight. He wiped his hand over the moist skin of my forehead pushing strands of hair away from my face. My eyes fluttered open for a moment. Our eyes connected in a brief pause and breathe caught in my throat. I jolted just a bit. His eyes were green! I had never seen such a normal looking expression on his face. Such humanity wrapped around his features twisting them. At first he looked away almost as if he was upset that he’d been caught. But at what? Regaining his composure, he placed his hand on my shoulders and they immediately ignited in flames of iridescent blue. “Shush.” He commanded. “Calm down and go to sleep.” His eyes shifted, darker and darker maintaining my concentration and furthering my curiosity. Something was off tonight. His will was not as strong. I tried sitting up. This infuriated him and his eyes instantly flashed a bright gold. He placed his lips to mine and I was out.