To The Boy I Fell In Love With

Dearest Laurie, I had a crush on you. And I'm not sure how the rest of the class found out, but all I know is that I'm humiliated and afraid. I was embarrassed that the entire class was aware of my delicate feelings for you, and I was afraid of what you may think of me. Will you think I'm pathetic? Or are you going to be disgusted that someone like me fell for you? I held unto every fear and shame, that I hid my face whenever you were near. That I used my best friend to shield me from your gaze, as I cried my tears unto her jacket. I went home, that day. Crying unto my mother's lap, for the boy I liked knew about my feelings for him and I am scared that he might push me away. It turned out the complete opposite though. The next day in school, we were assigned new seats for the semester. How hard I cursed on my mind, on how lucky I was to be seated in front of the boy whose gaze I wished to disappear from. I recall you trying to talk to me, but I was stubborn and pretended you didn't exist. Despite my heart thumping madly against my chest, cold sweat pouring from every pore of my body, and my mind racing with thoughts of how terrible I must have smelled from all the sweat. But you didn't mind because you were so concerned about why I was ignoring you that you got your friends to voice their concerns. Nonetheless, I kept my back to you, trying to ignore you for as long as possible. Ignoring you, on the other hand, didn't last long. You've managed to get past my defenses. We were suddenly laughing, cracking foolish jokes, and getting in trouble for it. When the semester finished, we were given to new sitting arrangements, which were even more apart this time. I thought our blossoming friendship would come to an end there, but you kept making ridiculous faces whenever our gazes met, and how could I not laugh when you were such a goof ball? I was relieved that we had stayed friends. At this point, I didn't knew that I was silently falling further into the well of unrequited love. Until my best friend told me that she, too, has a crush on you. I said to myself, that it was fine since I no longer have a crush on you and I only see you as a friend. But then, you liked her back. My tender heart didn't know what to do in the face of such anguish. So my thoughts took the initiative and said, "Hey there! It's all right. This sensation will fade with time. For the time being, we just have to pretend that we don't feel anything ".. Being the ever-reliable me. I was a fantastic actress. I became the link between the two of you, there whenever one of you needed me, all the while trying to mend my broken heart. That is, before my front fell apart. Jealousy is a vile green monster that has gnawed me and forced me to do evil things. In the end, I betrayed both you and my best friend. Please accept my heartfelt apologies for ever causing you both pain. I apologize for severing our friendship because I couldn't have you. Sorry for stealing the memories of everything that could have been in your life. I'm sorry, and I will always remember and regret the terrible decisions I made that caused you pain. Despite the fact that I had caused you pain, you chose to smile at me with those warm and welcoming eyes. You still treated me the same way you would others. But I have to accept that you and I can no longer be more than friends. Furthermore, as you prepare to exchange vows with the person you love. I wish you endless joy as you wait for her at the altar, with wedding bells ringing through the streets, for the new journey you are about to embark on. I wish you and my dearest friend a prosperous marriage life.