Fallen

1. Hell hole

....2 weeks before the ball....

Beeep! BEEP! BEEEEEEP!

I turned toward my phone and shut off the alarm, still having my eyes closed hoping that when I open them I will not be in this hellish hole that I call "home". I felt the suns rays creep through the dirty cellar window and cress my puffy cheeks telling me good morning, yeah crying until you fall asleep is a regular here. Ugh... Cant I be just dead yet? Before forcing my eyes open I whispered a little prayer to the moon goddess that she would save me from this misery or at least tell me why I am here. But yet again, nothing. Well as my hand drifted towards my eyes to rubb them open I was reminded that I was living in a dirt palace. Hey, welcome to my kingdom of dust, cobwebs and mold. 

    As I climbed out of bed and made my way towards the broken mirror to try to freshen up a bit before starting my day cleaning the pack house I noticed white strands of hair in my hair. Thats strange? I cannot be getting old at 17? Well maybe it is because of all the stress I have endured these 14 years of my pathetic life. As I ignored the white strands blended in my ebony hair I turned my attention to the different bruises and cuts on my face and body. As I checked the new ones I got from yesterdays beating I saw that my lip had a big cut in it and my left eye got a clear bluish, purple ring around it. GREAT! now I look like I have been in a dog fight. As my blue eyes stared back at the broken shell of a body I sighed and brushed my hair and braided so it would not be in the way of my cleaning. As i looked for clean clothes in the old drawer, that was put down in the cellar because nobody wanted it, I found what I was looking for. A pair of black tights that had small holes in it, due to being overused, and a big t-shirt that said "Dream big". How ironic right?

    Well you probably wonder why I am here. Well what I was told is that one day the blue moon packs warriors searched the bordes to their pack and found little ol´ me wandering and crying for my mommy. So instead of killing me they brought me to the pack house and from that day on I was treated like a dog. They gave me the cellar as a room and forced me to clean the house since. I was three when they found me. So I live in Casa del Cellar where old and unwanted furniture fill the room smelling like old people. I try cleaning my room but somehow it always get dusty as soon I turn my back to it. I do not remember my mom or dad, only my moms voice telling me the same sentences over and over almost like a lullaby... 

Do not shift, do not growl. 

As you are a precious gift, you cannot be found.

Do not fear as mommy is always here. 

    I made my mother a promise and I have not shifted when I turned 15. Even though I was tempted at times and my wolf cried and clawed trying to get out I stood my ground. As I put on my run down clothes and turned towards the stairs I took one last look  at my battered face and sighing "when will you answers my damn questions...".

    I got up the stairs and wandered the long corridor and entered the big living area. As I glanced towards the big clock on the wall and saw that it was 6 am I knew that I would not have time for breakfast as the pack usually get up at around 7 am and the first floor needed to be spotless by then. So I went through the living area and entered the kitchen to retrieve the broom and mop. As I made my way back one of the omegas bumped into me "watch were you going rough". Yeah not even the omegas in the pack would talk to me, well all expect one. My only friend Sarah. She was an omega that worked in the kitchen but this day she was of the job and I could not talk to her during my breaks as the Alpha order everybody to not interact with me as I was considered dirt. As I brushed off the omegas comment I started cleaning the first floor. 

    As the time flew I was almost done for the day. I manage to avoid all the pack members and especially Alpha Jonas. But when I was about to mop the entrance to the pack house Jessica, one of the popular warriors that have too much makeup and botox in her face so she looks like a s*x doll, came up to me and poured her slushy over me and the floor. "Well oopsie, I guess you have to mop that up rough, what do you have to say for yourself?" she sneers as her friend group started laughing as they shaw the bight red, I think cherry flavoured, slushy poured over me. I started to feel how my eyes started to get glossy but I kept fighting the tears and started to mop upp the mess. "Hey rough! When I talk to you do not look away. Otherwise I have to teach you who is in charge!" I ignored her as I would not bend down to a w***e and a bullie. But as always I knew that I would not come out of this without a bruise or two. Before I knew it she hit me in the jaw and I heard a big CRACK followed by a big thump as my body hit the floor. I started crying trying to shield me but she continued to punch me until she had drawn blood. By the time she was finished my eyes was almost swollen shut and my head throbbed. "Next time rough do not disobey me!" she shouted in my ear before spitting me in the face and wandered out of the pack house with her friend group. As I tried to get up from the floor I felt how my body failed me and I hit the floor again. I closed my eyes and cried as I tried to remember my mothers words..

Do not shift, do not growl. 

As you are a precious gift, you cannot be found.

Do not fear as mommy is always here. 

    After ten minutes I got up, this time I did not fall again. I moped up the mess and returned the cleaning gear to the cupboard, before I went out of the kitchen I turned around to see if there was any scraps for me. Today was not my lucky day as there was no leftovers, hungry as I have not eaten anything I returned to my room to collect the soap and towel I need to wash myself . I went through the cellar door as I was not allowed to use the main door due to my ranking in the pack. 

    As I wandered through the early summer evening I felt the breeze playfully brushing against my cheeks and the last minutes of sunshine kissing my throbbing face. As I reached the lake I wandered towards my usual bathing site. It was hidden away from the main path and beach, behind some dens bushes and couple of birch trees. As I striped off my clothes I walked towards the beautiful clear lake and finally let my body be consumed by water. As the sun was setting the sky was turning different colours, yellow, orange, pink and red blending into a beautiful painting. As I let my wolf out of the blockage I put everyday so she at least do not have to face the humiliation I face everyday. 

Please do not block me, I could fight them off you know if only you let me out...

You know I cant let you do that. I made a promise and I will keep it. 

I know but they make me so angry. We should not be treated that way... 

I know.

When you turn 18 all of this will change, I promise!

Why should I wait until then? 

I feel it, I have always felt it. Something is happening and it will be big. 

I just want to be free from this pain...

    I blocked her once again as I got up of the water. I felt drawn to the water, always did. It felt like home. The moon started to shine through the canopies as I wander back to the hell hole and fell asleep crying as I knew that tomorrow will be no different to today....