come back to me

chapter 6

ANTHONY

I walked towards Evelyn's room..my hand on the door knob. i didn't know if i should enter there. or why should i go in? there's actually no reason for me to go in there.but i did come here so i decided i should go there as well.maybe seeing her for the last time won't hurt that much, right? i slowly opened the door and saw her sleeping peacefully. she looked beautiful in the dim light.a few strands of hair were covering her face.i slowly walked towards the bed. trying to see if she was awake or not. suddenly i just felt like i wanted to brush the hair away from her forehead and kissed it. it's been a while since I'm feeling this way and i have zero intention to entertain this feeling. but the urge is too strong this time. i sat on the edge of the bed..

"Evelyn,," i called out softly. just to see if she's actually sleeping or not..there wasn't any movement. so it means she was actually asleep.her skin looked so soft. i felt like giving in. a soft glow was falling on her face. her lips slightly parted and her chest was rising and falling as she was breathing softly.. it's been a few months I'm suddenly feeling like this. it's annoying. all i want to do is hate her. not want to kiss her whole face.

to hold her close. to breathe in her scent. i shook my head to let go of that thought. but as soon as my eyes fell on her again, those thoughts creeped back in.i called her name again softly and there wasn't any response so i chose to give my heart a bit of peace. i decided to go against my brain and leaned closer to Evelyn and kissed her on the forehead. i swear i felt a shot- circuit when my lips touched her skin. it was so soft. after that i looked at her for the last time and left her room and went back to mine.. damn ..this feeling is back again.. i don't really understand why it's happening.. the urge to be near her is too strong. and i hate every bit of it..

i tried to sleep without any distractions but there she was haunting me even in my dreams. i started questioning my actions.. and my feelings.. i started seeing her in my dreams. our old moments, moments before i lost my evie. moments before she was the best friend of mine.and the one i can trust with anything. her laugh, that one sided dimple, the way her nose scrunched when she laughed, every time her eyes shone up whenever she see her favourite chocolates. how she takes her sweet moment to enjoy her ice-cream. how she'd stuck out her tongue slightly whenever she's too focused.. everything.. these made my heart beat faster even in my dreams. god I'm doomed.

the night was restless or peaceful, I don't know about it because the dreams i had were the best thing to see. the problem is i don't want to see it. this is the main problem from a few months now.. i woke up early today and got ready for my work.. when i came out, i saw mark sitting on the table eating his breakfast and eve was.. wait.. no.. EVELYN was packing his lunchbox..a few strands were falling on her eyes and the rest of the hair was tied up in a ponytail.. all focused on her work. and remember i said that she stuck out her tongue slightly whenever she's focused on something. yeah. that's what she was doing. after having breakfast with my family, i was waiting with Mark for Evelyn to bring his lunchbox. and i was irritated with myself for feeling so weak for a woman.

so i started doing what i do whenever i feel myself getting softer towards her.. i started reminding myself what she did to me. how she betrayed me. and that's what i have to do now.i started chanting it like a mantra in my head.

remember how she drugged you?

remember how broke your trust?

remember how she separated you from your girlfriend?

remember how she hurt you?

remember how f*****g BEAUTIFUL SHE'S LOOKING NOW.

wait..no..no..shit. i lost track when she walked towards us with mark's lunchbox. and then she went on her knees and kissed mark on the forehead saying bye for the day. why never i git any kiss? wait.. why do i want any? that too from her? no ..no..i don't want any kisses.

but when she got up and was about to walk away without even noticing me, i frowned and as if my body was in autopilot and i stopped her by her wrist and pulled her closer then wrapped my arm around her waist and leaned into kissing her. remember i said i felt short-circuit all over my body just by kissing her forehead? that was nothing compared to this..when my lips met hers, i felt like i was in heaven. kissing a woman never felt this good..and i remember that i had to pull away because of the air.. "bye" i whispered to her then took mark's hand and walked out of the door.

the f**k is wrong with me? I'm supposed to handle these emotions.. i always did but now it's getting harder and harder day by day.. Mark was unusually happy.. he loves seeing me and his mom getting along together. so i didn't question his smile. and anything that makes him happy is fine with me. but not this one.the problem is that mark feeling happiness was normal but why am i feeling giddy inside about this? that's ridiculous.. I'm not a f*****g teenager. after dropping off mark, i went straight to my office.. but i couldn't focus on anything.. the words on the paper seems to mocking me even more.. i hate this feeling..