Dating an Idol

Four: GAME OVER

"You did great, Yuri! Yes, you did great!" I said aloud to my own reflection in the mirror.

I was in the bathroom. I came here right after my audition. I had to change my outfit and at the same time, calm myself down. My heart was still hammering against my chest. My energy's still too high because of what just happened. I had mixed emotions. Everything was so overwhelming.

I didn't hear much from the judges. No positive or negative comments at all. They just said "thank you" and that they will just contact me for the result.

But based on their facial expressions, I would like to assume that I did well in the audition. Everyone was smiling. Everyone but Skye. He was practically glowering at me the whole time.

Yeah, the typical poker-faced, dead-eyed Skye.

I said thank you and left the audition room. Mael met me right away outside. He asked how my audition went. I said I think I did well. He congratulated me and hugged me right away.

Yes, I was satisfied with my performance. I was relieved to see the judges' facial expressions after I performed. They looked satisfied. Impressed, even.

But somehow, I couldn't bring myself to feel happy. It's hard to feel happy thinking how Skye looked at me the whole time.

I pulled myself away from Mael's embrace and excused myself. I said I needed to go to the bathroom.

I needed some time alone to pull myself together. Everything was just overwhelming. The pressure, the anticipation… and then surprisingly meeting Skye here. I just couldn't process everything.

I washed my face to calm myself down. I had to pull myself together. I had to clear my mind so I could think of a way to talk to him.

Yes, I wanted to talk to Skye. Alone. I had so much to say to him.

He must be mad at me, I know. But I still wanted to talk to him. I wanted to say sorry. I wanted to ask how he was doing. I wanted to tell him I missed him.

But how? How do I approach him without creating a scene?

There's so much that I wanted to tell him.

But how?

I let out one frustrated sigh as I stared at my own reflection in the mirror. After giving myself some pep talk for almost fifteen minutes, I decided to go back to the waiting area.

"You okay?" Mael asked when he noticed that I was back.

"Yeah, I'm good," I said. "Is the audition over?"

"No, I think they are just having a short break right now," he said. "There are still like twenty auditionees who weren't able to perform yet."

"I see," I said as I sat down beside him. He was squatting on the floor like everyone else.

"Are you okay?" he asked again. He must've noticed that something's bothering me.

"Yeah, I'm good. I'm good," I said, trying to sound cheerful. "When do you think they'll release the result?"

"I have no idea," he answered. "They just told me they'll call me when they have finally decided. But we can't leave just yet. They might give some announcements later. We have to stick around for a bit."

I didn't say anything, I just nodded. My mind was all over the place. I was busy plotting some ways on how I can discreetly approach Skye after the auditions. I really wanted to talk to him.

"But I still couldn't believe that I just met Crest 88 in person." I heard Mael murmur. "Everything feels surreal. Can you, like, pinch me right now? I just want to make sure that this is not a dream."

The dreamy look on his face somehow made me smile. I grabbed his cheek and squeezed it real hard. Harder than necessary, I think, since he started squealing.

That's when the door to the audition room flung open. And there I saw Skye standing in the doorway, glaring down at us.

I automatically let go of Mael's cheek.

Then to my surprise, I saw Skye march towards where Mael and I were seated.

He stopped a couple of feet away from us and, in the most unfriendly tone, asked in Korean, "Can you show me the men's room?"

I was taken aback. I wasn't able to answer him right away. I just found myself staring back at him for a few seconds.

Oh, god. How I missed him.

"What did he say?" Mael turned to me.

That somehow brought me back to reality.

"You… y-you want to go to the restroom?" I asked Skye as I tried to pull myself together.

"Oh, the restroom. You want to go to the restroom. Let me show you the restroom." Mael scuffled to stand up.

"No, I want her to help me," Skye answered, still speaking in Korean.

"What did he say?" Mael turned to me once again.

At this point, I could feel everyone's eyes on us. The trainees that were scattered around the area were now looking at us. I started to feel anxious.

I wanted to talk to him, yes. But as much as possible, I don't want to create a scene.

"That's okay, I'll show him the restroom," I said to Mael as I prepared to stand up.

Mael offered me his hand to help me stand up. I grabbed it and then pulled myself up. I had to automatically let his hand go, though, when I noticed how Skye was glaring at both our hands.

The door to the audition room once again flung open. A Filipino staff member, in his broken Korean, asked Skye if he needed some help.

Skye said no and that he's good. The staff went back inside.

"T-this way," I said to Skye as I led him to the corridor.

I could feel Mael's eyes, along with everyone else's, following us as we left the area.

I was walking ahead of Skye. He didn't say anything as I led the way. I couldn't bring myself to say anything to him either so I just kept on walking.

We had to take a couple of turns before we reached the restroom.

"There's the men's room," I said as I pointed at the doorway to the restroom.

I spun around to leave him. I planned to just wait for him at the corner. I'll just talk to him after he's done.

But before I could take another step, I felt his hand grab me by the arm. He spun me around to face him again.

"Don't you have anything to say to me?" he said.

I found myself staring straight into his eyes. Yup, he still looked mad.

For a moment, my mind went blank. I had so much to tell him but I don't know where to start.

There was an awkward silence between us as I found myself in an eye-to-eye battle with him. I lost. I had to look away first.

"I.. I'm so sorry, Skye." I stuttered when I finally gained the courage to speak.

"For what exactly?" he asked in a sarcastic tone. He let go of my arm to cross his arms across his chest.

"For everything," I said. I started speaking in Korean just in case someone accidentally hears us. "For leaving Korea without telling you. For ignoring your messages. For… for breaking my promise. For everything, Skye. Basically for everything," I continued in a shaky voice.

I heard him chuckle as he looked away and shoved both his hands in the pockets of his pants. "Why do I feel like you don't really mean everything you said?" He started speaking to me in Korean, as well.

I had to look at him. His eyes were fixed somewhere else though.

"I… I was really planning to call you but I don't want to distract you. I know that you've been very busy with everything. I don't want to distract you from something you've worked so hard for all your life."

He looked at me again. "But haven't you realized that by disappearing just like that, you are already distracting me? I couldn't help thinking about you every single day! I was so worried about you, Yuri! How dare you disappear just like that?!"

"I'm… I'm so sorry." I had to look down and fix my vision on the floor. I just couldn't look him in the eyes anymore.

He let out one angry sigh. It looked like he was about to say something when we heard footsteps and faint voices down the corridor.

He grabbed my arm and dragged me inside the restroom. He then led me into one of the cubicles and locked the door behind us.

I heard the footsteps and the voices getting closer and closer. I held my breath when I heard them open the restroom's door. I even had to close my eyes for fear of them finding us here inside the cubicle.

"Skye? Are you here?" said one of the unfamiliar voices.

"He's not here?" asked another voice.

They were probably staff members.

"Yeah, I don't think he's here."

"Where did he go then?"

"I dunno, he said he needed to go to the restroom."

"Who went with him?"

"One of the trainees. That girl who did the 'Maria' cover."

"So where did they go?"

"Let's check the other restroom on the other side."

To my relief, I heard them leave the restroom.

I hadn't really realized that I was holding my breath the whole time until I heard the restroom door closed. That's when I also realized how small the cubicle we were in right now. Skye and I were basically cramped inside.

I looked up and found myself staring straight to his eyes. I suddenly had a feeling that he had been looking at me that way the whole time. His proximity was suddenly giving me erratic heartbeats. Which was unusual. I don't normally react this way no matter how close I get to him.

It must be his absence, I thought. The fact that I haven't seen him for the past two years was making me feel this way.

I couldn't say anything as I held his gaze. I tried to read the emotions that were overflowing from his eyes. He's not usually good at expressing his feelings through words. That's how I learned to read his thoughts through his eyes.

But before I could decipher what was going on in his head, he pulled me in a strong embrace. I was surprised. He was not the touchy-feely kind of person. We've been friends all our lives but he never hugged me before.

Or maybe he did. Once. When Bingsu died. But that's it. He's not really into skinship.

But he was hugging me now. No, he was basically crushing me against his own body.

"I missed you. I missed you so much," I heard him murmur as he squeezed me tighter against his chest.

I hugged him back. I missed him, too. Probably more than he missed me.