Please let me rest in peace

I was contemplating how I should spend my fifth life. Yes, my fifth life. I was living the same life for the fifth time. I have experienced burning to death, a guillotine, hanging and being stabbed to death. And all my tragic endings were related to one person, my step-sister Lily. Today was the day Lily's mother married my father, Duke Cecil. It was the end of my pampered heiress' life. After experiencing everything four times, I knew I was not the loved pampered heiress I thought I was. I was just a tool. A tool to connect the two most powerful families on the continent. Father did not love me. If Lily, who was more docile, more beautiful and more well-tempered, could replace me, then so be it. With Lily as a comparison, I was just a disappointment. Someone who was known to have a bad temper, an airhead who only knew how to spend money. As time went by, I was just someone who brought disgrace to the family. They would have disowned me if their pride allowed them to. I had been a childish, spoiled heiress through and through in my first life. I had looked down on Lily, I thought she was just a silly country girl with no manners. She would never be on the same par as me. She would even make me look superior. I had been childish like that. But I was wrong, I was the one acting as a stepping stone for Lily. Lily had perfect manners and temperament, as opposed to my well-known bad temper. Lily was a beauty whereas I was just someone with pleasing features. Lily had more talents at magic than me. Lily shone in every aspect while I shivered in her shadows. This was not what I had expected. I was not supposed to be the one hovering in the shadows. My pride could not take that. I had been brimming with envy. When even my fiancé fell for Lily and told my father he would like to marry Lily instead, that was the final straw. I became the evil villainess in every romance story. Looking back, I knew it was childish and not worth it. What I had been doing was just a pathetic joke to Lily. But did I deserve the way I met my death? To be burnt alive on a stake in front of everyone? Do you know how painful it was to be burnt? Do you know how it felt to smell the way your skin and tissues turning to ashes? DO you know the despair of knowing your life being burnt away bit by bit? I have never harmed anyone physically. It was all just angry words and hysterical fits like every pampered spoiled heiress who threw away their tempers. The worst I did was try to cheat in an attempt to win her in a magic duel. I had been quite silly really. That's how I had fallen into the trap of one of Lily's suitors and ended my tragic life. And started this never ending hell. When I realized I had been reborn in my second life, I had been brimming with hatred and anger, I had wanted revenge. So much that my second life had ended much more quickly than my first. I learned from my previous deaths. I decided to avoid Lily and her strings of suitors at all costs in my third life. Lily was like the protagonist in a story. The gods were all on her side, as well as strings of suitors who would do whatever Lily told them to do or hinted them to do. I lived the longest of that life. In my quest to avoid Lily at all cost, I ran away from home and smuggled across the sea to the continent that hated people from our continent. After seven years, I thought I could finally stop hiding in fear in a foreign country. I thought I could return to my home country. I had planned to settle in a tiny villa in the countryside. As soon as I had bought my tiny villa, I was captured. I had been told my father, whom I had not been in contact with for years, was planning treason all along. And I must be helping out my father in secret. As for my dear stepsister, who had been the perfect daughter to my dear father all throughout the years, of course she knew nothing of that sort! She was as pure as snow! She was innocent! I had been told that my punishment got even worse in the attempt to slander the sacred Empress Lily. As expected of the evil stepsister who bullied Lily. I had no idea how I became the evil stepsister when I ran away as soon as Lily entered the scene. I was hanged. I threw away my own pride in my fourth life. I could no longer bear this never-ending reincaration. I thought if I could die nicely like normal people, the torture would end. I pretended to be the best sister. Whatever Lily wanted, I gave it to her. I was even her best friend. I threw myself away in the process, I was just a puppet doing all of Lily's biding. It all ended when a devastated lady, whose childhood sweetheart dumped her for Lily, came rushing into our tea gathering in hysterics with a knife. Lily had hidden behind me just in time, and I was stabbed. I never saw it coming. I had been busy serving Lily tea. I could not even utter a protective spell. Thinking back to all my failed attempts to live, I had little hope for my fifth life. That was when Sarah rushed into the room and cried," They have arrived, Lady Rose!" I should stop lying on my bed. I should start facing my fifth life. Let's make this life my last. Let's die for real this time.