The Mess Inside Me

Daddy

Daddy

Born in 1935 in Jasper tn.

His parents owned a tobacco farm.

He was taken out of school in the second grade to tend to the farm. He could not read or write.

He did not have a good relationship with his mother. He called her by her first name, which was Goldie.

I don't know why but he didn't like her at all. I asked him why and he just said she never loved him. I only saw her 3 times in my life and she asked me what my name was the first 2 and didn't even speak the third time. She gave me a doll the first time i met her. She introduced herself to me as Goldie.

She seemed very cold. His relationship with his dad was much better with his mother. I don't know a lot about him though. My brother is named after him.

My daddys family called him Bubby.

I honestly can't think of anybody in this world that didn't like my daddy...except me ofcourse. He was always happy to see family and friends. We had many get togethers and he would cook for dozens of people. He would give a stranger the shirt off his back. He loved kids. He was good with kids. He loved to take care of kids. He could shut a baby up from crying no matter what the problem was. He had an old wives tale fix.

He was not fond of black people. I was only allowed to associate with black people because of my moma.

There wasn't anything he couldn't fix. He was always working on something. He worked on lawn mowers and cars for a lot of people.

His pride and joy was Troyboy. Troy could do no wrong in his eyes. Wherever daddy was, Troy was right beside him.

And he loved my moma. He was very good to her. Nobody would disrespect her. She was a queen to him. He loved my mother's other kids like they were his own. Her grandchildren were his grandchildren. And then there was me...

He was sick my entire life. Emphysema and COPD. Still smoked 3 packs a day and he was an alcoholic, a severe alcoholic. He wasn't supposed to see Troy's first birthday but lived way beyond that.

I knew from a very young age that he was dying. Nobody knew exactly how sick he was...except for me.