Emery’s Rise To Self Discovery

“If you do not slow down your going to cause us to wreck!” screeches Ashley. I am just about to object when my 1968 Chevrolet Camaro turns up on to wheels. I smash my breaks and brace myself in case we flip. Suddenly, the car comes crashing down on all four wheels and stops abruptly. Leaving nothing but dust from the old dirt road to surround us in clouds of smoke like debris. “Ashley, are you okay?” I turn to look at my best friend but she is frozen in place with her eyes bulging out of her thin face. I can not help but to burst with laughter. “What the fu** is wrong with you Emery?” “You could have killed us and your laughing?” Ashley exclaimed. I can tell she is upset, so I attempt to get control over myself. “Ashley, I am sorry. We are all going to die anyways and I need something more then heartbreak in my life sometimes, the adrenaline is intoxicating. Wasn’t it intoxicating?” Ashley softens immediately. “‘Em it’s going to be okay. You will see, once we get to your birthday party Jaylen will show up and he will apologize. You guys will be okay again.” I scuff at the thought. “Ash, I do not know why I even want him back. I have spent my entire life being tortured by my father, I spent years getting bullied in high school, and Jaylen was equally as traumatizing. For him to just change his relationship status and block me seems extremely cruel. Yet, given the chance I know I wouldn’t be able to resist.” “I know, and I understand Em, you never have to explain yourself to me.” We ride silently for the remaining 20 minute drive through the mountains. As we approach the beach I instantly know word got out about my birthday party. There are people everywhere, some of which I know, most of which I do not. “Sh**, I just wanted my birthday to be fun and drama free. Who invited all these people?” I look to Em for an answer but she is already out of the car and closing the door. “You could go home, or you could stay, have a drink, and go talk to Jaylen.” She smiles and darts her eyes at the tall, athletic, tan man standing over the fire. I watch as the fire and shadows highlights the contours in his muscles. Oh my god, he came to my party still. I can not believe he came. Maybe he does want to Kent things. My thoughts are interrupted by Ashley “So, what is it going to be Em?” I smile and throw my arm around her. “Let’s go grab a drink.” As we approach the table containing all the red plastic cups and the drinks I notice Alyssa walk by. She stops and I think she may say something to me. Instead, she just lets out a small chuckle and continues to walks by, making my heart break a little bit more. Alyssa was my best friends since we were born. Before I met Jaylen, I thought we may have been even a little more then friends. It was not until Jaylen and I started fooling around that I knew without a doubt I was into men and not women. Then she just stopped talking to me. I guess she did not like Jaylen, he is difficult to take if you do not really know him. As if she can see the heart ache in my eyes, Ashley grabs my arm and pulls me right over to Jaylen. “You two need to talk” Ashley looks Jaylen dead in the eyes, as if to say she deserves this, before turning away and disappearing into the crowd. Jaylen straightens up. “Look Emery, It really was not anything you did. I just do not think we have a connection anymore.” I can feel the tears burning my eyes. “Jaylen, I am so confused. Why now? What changed? How can you throw this all away.” Without answering he turns to walk away. I stand there for a moment before realizing everyone is staring at me. Suddenly I turned and shot back to the car. I pulled out my phone to send Ashley a quick text. “Hey I am heading out. Need a ride?” Her response is fast “No but call me tomorrow.” Great, so now I’m heartbroken and alone on my birthday. I decide I need to eat something before I head home. As the buckle to the seat belt clicks, there is a knocking on the window. I look up to see no other then Alyssa. “Hey, can I catch a ride?” She ask nervously. I can seem to find my voice so I just nod my head and wait for her to get inside. “Can I buy you a pizza?” Alyssa squirms in her seat a little before continuing, “I kinda want to talk to you.” I could make this hard for her but I decide against it because my crushing heart is to much to bare. Plus, I know my toxic father hasn’t bought groceries at all this month. “Sure.” As we drive back down the twisting mountain roads, that are covered by shadows cast by the trees, Alyssa breaks the silence. “I saw what happened with Jaylen. It was really messed up the way he ended things.” I glance at her for a second before returning my eyes to the road. “Yeah, but I suppose you are happy now.” “What?” She actually sounded shocked. “ Why in the world would you think that?” “Oh, come on Ali, you know it is the truth. Why else would you have stopped talking to me if you did not hate Jaylen?” I retorted. “I do not hate..” she trails off. “ Forget it I do not want to fight tonight. Can we just go get pizza and try to go back to the way things were?” I am thinking about it when she adds “I really miss you Emery.” “Your right, I miss you too, and if getting my best friend back is what comes from this breakup, I really can’t complain.” The rest of the ride we make small talk. Catching up on the time lost. I tell her about getting accepted into Harvard, and that I can not afford to go. I tell her about My job at mini mart, and that I almost have enough saved up to rent a mobile home. She tells me about her near pregnancy scare, and the summer fling that got her in the situation. She also told me about her college acceptance and that she complete business school in another year. By the time we have pulled up at the pizza shack, I have completely forgotten the heartbreak and drama I had felt a half hour earlier. Once we had eaten, I dropped her off at her apartment. We said goodnight and she promised we would hang out the next morning. With a smile I head home and go to sleep.