Midnight Shadows

~8~: Unspoken Words Part 1

The glow of my phone screen illuminated my face as I lay in bed, the sound of Calista's soft voice drifting into my ear. She was miles away, but in these quiet nights, she felt so close, like I could reach out and touch her if I tried hard enough. "You're quiet today," she murmured, her voice laced with concern. "Something on your mind?" I hesitated. A thousand words sat on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed them back. There was too much to say. Too much to unpack. Saying nothing felt safer. "Just tired," I lied, trying to brush it off. "I like listening to you talk." She let out a soft laugh, but I could hear the edge of doubt in her voice. Calista always knew when something wasn’t right. "You're not fooling me, Tarian," she said, and I could practically hear the frown on her face. "You know you can talk to me, right? About anything." Anything. If only it were that simple. The past had a way of creeping into the present when I least expected it. I sat there in the dim light of my room, the weight of memories pressing down on me like a vice. I had promised myself I wouldn’t think of Talia again, but here I was, haunted by her, by what we’d shared. Talia. The girl who had once been my world. The girl who had come back, begging me to leave Calista. I closed my eyes, her face flashing in my mind. I remembered the day she showed up at my door, not unexpected, but certain. There had been something in the air, a heavy kind of tension, like we both knew exactly what was about to happen. The way she looked at me, the way her presence filled the room... it all felt so familiar. Too familiar. "We don’t have to pretend, Tarian. We both know why I’m here," she had said, her words cutting through the silence between us. I hadn’t said anything. I just let her in, the door closing behind her like a final decision made. And when it happened, when our bodies tangled together in the dim afternoon light, it was reckless, yes, but it felt inevitable. There was no room for second thoughts. No future. No consequences. Only the moment. And the echoes of a love that still lingered between us, even though I didn’t want it to. When it was over, I had laid beside her, staring up at the ceiling, knowing it would be the last time. I was already moving toward something new. Someone new. But Talia didn’t see it that way. "You can’t leave me," she whispered, tracing patterns on my chest, her voice tinged with desperation. "I won’t let you." I wanted to. Because then, there was Calista.

Calista, who made me believe in something better, something steady. Calista, who brought warmth into my life, the kind of quiet love that made me feel safe. Talia had been fire. She had been chaos. But Calista was something entirely different. Calista was the peace I didn’t know I needed. Days turned into weeks, and I found myself torn between my past and my present. I told myself that what had happened with Talia was a mistake, a final goodbye, but the guilt wouldn’t leave. It lingered, poisoning my thoughts like ink on paper, like a ghost I couldn’t shake. But Calista… she had become my light. She was everything good. Everything real. And yet, in the back of my mind, Talia’s shadow remained, like a storm cloud that wouldn’t disappear. I could still hear her voice in my head, feel her fingers curling around my wrist, as if she could pull me back to a past I no longer wanted. "Tarian," Calista’s voice broke through my thoughts. "You've been distant lately." I couldn’t ignore it anymore. My silences had grown longer. My responses slower. I knew she could feel the tension in me, and I hated it. "I’m here," I assured her, trying to push away the weight of my thoughts. "Just… thinking." "About what?" she asked, her voice gentle but insistent. "Us. The future," I replied. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth either. I could feel her wanting to dig deeper, but I couldn’t do it. Not yet. Not when I wasn’t sure how to even begin explaining this mess I’d created in my mind. "Tarian," she said after a long pause. "I need you to be honest with me. If something’s wrong, tell me." I opened my mouth, but no words came. What could I say? How could I explain to her that the past was still clawing at me, still demanding attention? That the guilt of Talia’s presence in my life was too heavy, even now? I wanted to tell her. I wanted to confess everything. But how could I, when I had no idea how to explain that my past still haunted me in a way that threatened everything I had with Calista? Then, one evening, as I scrolled mindlessly through my phone, a notification appeared.

A message from Talia.

We need to talk.

I exhaled sharply, my fingers freezing over the screen. No. There was nothing left to talk about. I had chosen Calista. I loved Calista. But love wasn’t always enough to erase the past. I hovered over the screen, debating whether to respond. What did she want? Closure? A second chance? Or was she just trying to remind me of what we had been? My heart pounded as I typed a reply.

There’s nothing left to talk about.

A moment later, another message came through.

You owe me this, Tarian. Just one conversation.

I clenched my jaw, staring at the screen. Did I owe her anything? Maybe. Maybe not. But the thought of facing her again—the thought of seeing her, feeling her presence again, made my chest tighten. The weight of those unspoken words finally caught up with me, and as Calista spoke about her day later that night, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. "Calista… there’s something I need to tell you." Silence. Then, a soft, "I’m listening." My throat tightened. The truth was right there, hanging between us. All I had to do was say it. But how do you confess to the person you're beginning to love that the past still has its claws in you? Would this be the night that changed everything?