Midnight Shadows

~9~:Unspoken Words Part 2

I sat on the edge of my bed, my phone resting in my hands like a weight I couldn’t shake off. The truth was pressing against my chest, suffocating me with every passing second. I’d rehearsed this conversation in my mind a thousand times, but now that it was finally here, I could barely breathe. I still felt the echoes of that night with Talia. The heat of the moment, the way everything had slipped away in favor of impulsive decisions. It was a mistake, one I couldn’t undo. But the problem was, I couldn’t keep it hidden any longer. How do you tell someone you're beginning to love that you once let yourself slip in a moment of weakness? That before you even met them, before you knew they would matter to you, you made a choice that you now regretted? That choice had been Talia. It wasn’t like I cheated on Calista. It wasn’t like I still thought about Talia the way I once had. But the fact was, it happened. And Calista didn’t know. And keeping it from her felt like lying. My fingers hovered over the screen, the call button taunting me. I had almost backed out last night, out of fear. But I couldn’t keep avoiding this. I couldn’t bury it any deeper. If I wanted to build something real with Calista, there couldn’t be any secrets. No matter how much it hurt. But what if telling her broke everything? What if, instead of making us stronger, it shattered what we had? The thought of losing her hurt in a way I wasn’t sure I could recover from, but I knew deep down, I owed her the truth. If I loved her, I had to be honest, no matter the cost. Taking a deep breath, I tapped the screen, waiting for the call to go through. The sound of each ring felt like a countdown, an explosion I wasn’t sure I could survive. I could hear my heartbeat thudding in my ears. What if she didn’t answer? What if she already knew? The paranoia gripped me, making my throat tighten. “Hey,” Calista’s voice finally came through, warm and familiar, like always. “Hey. We need to talk,” I said, trying to steady my breath. There was a pause, long enough for me to feel the air between us grow heavier. “Okay… what’s up?” I closed my eyes for a second, gathering my thoughts. “I think I’m ready to tell you. But I need you to know that it happened before we got together.” Another pause. Longer this time. “Go on.” I exhaled slowly, gripping the phone tighter as my heart raced. “It’s about Talia. Before you and I were… us, she and I had a moment. It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t anything deep. It was just—” I rubbed my temple, trying to find the right words. “We were caught up in the moment. It didn’t mean anything. And it never happened again.” The silence on the other end was suffocating. My heart pounded harder with each passing second. “Calista?” I asked, barely above a whisper. Her voice came through sharp, cutting through the quiet. “Why are you telling me this now?” I felt a tight knot in my chest. “Because I don’t want there to be anything between us that’s hidden. I don’t want you to hear it from someone else, or for it to come up later and make things worse.” “So, what? You want me to just be okay with this?” she asked, her voice cold. “To pretend it doesn’t bother me?” “No,” I admitted, my voice quiet. “I just… I don’t want it to come between us.”

She let out a bitter laugh, and I could hear the hurt in it. “You don’t want it to come between us? Tarian, you just dropped this on me like it’s nothing. Like it’s not gonna change how I see you.” My throat tightened. “It shouldn’t change how you see me. It was before you. I wasn’t hiding it to be sneaky. I just didn’t know how to tell you.” “That’s the thing, though. If it didn’t matter, why couldn’t you tell me sooner?” “I was afraid you’d react like this,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. Another stretch of silence. My mind raced, wanting to know what she was thinking. Wishing I could see her face, her emotions. Finally, she sighed. “I need time,” she said softly. I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “I get it. Just… don’t shut me out completely, okay?”

“We’ll see.” And then, the call ended. I sat there, staring at the screen, my heart sinking. I had told the truth. Now, all I could do was wait and hope it didn’t break us. Days passed, and the silence between us became unbearable. I replayed the conversation over and over in my mind, dissecting every word, every pause, trying to predict what she was thinking. The waiting was suffocating.

I found myself taking long walks just to clear my head, but everywhere I went, memories of Calista followed. The bookstore where we spent hours debating which books were worth reading. The café where she always ordered an iced latte, even in the dead of winter. Every little thing reminded me of her, and the thought of losing it all made my chest ache. When my phone buzzed with a message from her, I almost dropped it in shock.

Calista: We need to talk.

My fingers trembled as I typed my reply.

Tarian: Anytime. Just tell me when.

The wait for her response felt like an eternity. When it finally came, it was brief.

Calista: Call me at 7 PM.

The nerves flooded back in full force as I looked at the clock, counting down the minutes. The sky had begun to darken, and the evening chill had settled in. When the clock finally struck seven, I video called her, hoping to hide the anxiety on my face. She looked tired, conflicted, but determined. She crossed her arms, and I could see the tension in her posture. “I’ve been thinking,” she said, her eyes never leaving mine. I nodded, afraid to speak the wrong words. “And?” “I’m angry, Tarian. Not because it happened before us, but because you kept it from me.” “I know,” I said quietly. “And I’m sorry.” She sighed, looking away from the camera for a moment before meeting my eyes again. “I don’t know how to feel about this. Part of me wants to scream at you, and part of me just wants to move past it.” “I’ll wait for whatever decision you make,” I said, my voice sincere. “I just don’t want this to ruin us.” She stared at me for what felt like forever, studying my face. Finally, she spoke again. “Neither do I. But I need time.” I swallowed hard, nodding. “Take as long as you need.” Calista didn’t say anything else. She just gave me one last lingering look before hanging up. And as I sat there, staring at the screen, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of time pressing down on me, hoping that it wouldn’t take her too far away.