Mending Wounds

Chapter Fourteen

"Are you sure it's a good idea to just show up there?" Jeremy asked me as he watched me pace the room in search of my socks.

I shook my head "Not really," I told him "But he's leaving me no other choice. He won't reply to any of my call of text messages for more than a week now,"

"I could talk to him," he said, "I will ask him to call you or meet you somewhere,"

I shook my head again, "No, Jer, you shouldn't get involved into this,"

He raised an eyebrow "Well you sort of making me get involved into this,"

"You're just escorting me inside," I explained to him "It's not like you're telling me where he is because I know where he goes to hang out on the weekends. I just need you to get me in so I can talk to him face to face without all this bullshit,"

He sighed, "Whatever. I honestly give up on whatever bullshit is happening right now between you two,"

"He's your friend, and you introduced him to me, remember?"

He shook his head "We aren't friends, really; he's just a co-worker and a friend of my friends. Plus, Alex is the one who hooked you guys up, don't get me involved in the choice and things that your best-friend made,"

"You mean my best friend who also is your girlfriend," I chuckled as I leaned down to tie my shoes.

"Yup," He smiled "You see what I have to deal with,"

I smiled as I walked past him to the hallway "We've been friends for as long as I remember, so I know and I have dealt with it for more than you have,"

"Fair point," he said, "I will not be responsible if this goes south,"

"I promise you won't be." I assured me as I led the way to my car.

The ride to the base was filled with random talks about movies that came out this year, including which was the best and the worst of them all. It was sort of a routine thing we did every week when he'd take me to see Ben; Today was no different. When we got to the base, I followed him to the office and waited for my visitor badge while he talked to the guys working.

"Sophia, right?" a guy said as he came out from behind the desk, he's usually the one who checks me in and gives me the card. Today he was dressed in casual with a bag over his shoulder.

"Yeah" I nodded, then went quiet because I was unsure what his name.

"Oh yeah, Sophia" Jeremy smiled as he handed the badge to me "I don't think I formally introduced you two. Sophia, this is Andrew; Andrew and I go long back"

I smiled at him "Nice to meet you, Andrew"

"Same" he smiled "Did you guys just walk in as well?"

"Yeah, Man, we're heading to the dorms" Jer said "Come, we'll walk you there"

"Cool" he said before he started walking beside me.

"I haven't seen you two around here in a while" Andrew smiled "You're usually here once every week or two,"

"Yeah" I gave him a small smile "I've been busy."

"Home boy keeping you busy and locked in?" he asked "You know, this boy talks about you a lot. He's so shy about talking about you or bring you around our friends because he's scared we might embarrass him. I'm honestly surprised he's even letting me talk to you right now."

Ben chuckled, "And I still haven't. Sophia isn't MY girlfriend" he explained "Alex, MY GIRLFRIEND is home studying and staying the f**k away you and all those assholes that can't wait to embarrass me in front of her."

Andrew looked at Jer confused.

"Ben is bringing me to see my boyfriend." I explained "I come see him, and he comes to hang out with his friends,"

"Cool" he said with a small nod.

"Have you seen Hawkins? that b***h been avoiding me for a few weeks now," Jer asked.

He looked around the buildings "Yeah, I just got off the phone a few minutes ago. He should be somewhere next to the yard." he said "Man, that boy got lucky."

"Lucky?" Jer raised his eyebrow.

"That boy been locking himself in the hotel down the yard for a few days now," he said "He's probably getting laid every day by his fiancée to compensate for the 4 months she hasn't seen him in. She flew 14 hours to come see this son of a b***h. He've been locking himself with her or somewhere around the country sightseeing with her." 

I felt my face pale at his words and heart sink in my stomach. My foot instantly stopped at the sight of him Ben standing next to the taco food truck with a dark-skinned brunette under his arms giggling.

"What f*****g fiancée?" Jer asked.

Andrew pointed at the women "That one. Amelia, I think. I'm not really sure because I haven't had the chance to officially mee... "he tried to explain but fell in complete silence when realization of the situation hit him "Holly s**t, you're dating Hawkins."

It wasn't as if I planned the next 10 years of my life with Ben, and it's not like the thought never crossed my mind either. I did not expect things to go so south and for him to be completely out of my life after those two years of service he's doing there are over. Some parts of me loved the thought of Ben still being around, whether we were still in a relationship or just friendship. 

It wasn't the cheating part that hurt me the most. It was the lies that built up on top of each other and knowing that I was a part of hurting a woman too in love with him and planning her future with this unfaithful man.

She didn't deserve someone like Ben. No one deserves to end up with an unfaithful cheating suppose, but no one deserves to get hurt like that and I didn't have the guts to burst her bubble either. The girl got on a 14 hours plane to come to see her fiancée, and I'd be an asshole if I walked up to her and told her I'm the other woman. So I just stood there in pain and sadness as I minded my business.

"Sophia," Jeremy called "Are you Okay?"

I nodded, "Let's just leave. I want to go home,"

He looked at me dumbfounded "You're just going to go? Just like that?" He asked, "Are you just going to walk away like that after you found out that your boyfriend is cheating on you?"

"f**k that s**t," Jeremy said, "You both don't deserve that s**t,"

Before I could protest or process what was going around me, Ben was already on the ground and the women next to him looking at Liam with teary eyes. The minute that her eyes met mine, I felt everything around crush down around me. The amount of hurt was too familiar. The pain in her eyes made me feel double the pain I felt knowing that Ben was with someone else the whole time.

Ben's eyes falling on me did not help the situation at all. I mean, I did not expect him to smile or be happy to see me, but the shock in his eyes did not hurt less knowing that. My heart did not sting any less either as I watched him run after the women when she stormed off in tears.

I wanted him to run after me. I wanted him to tell me it's not what I think or that he's sorry or at least lie to me. I want him to say or do anything other than leaving me here and chase someone else. I wanted to feel anything other than the guilt of ruining a marriage or what could have been one.

"Sophia?" Jeremy said as he touched my arm.

I shook my head, "Take me home, Jer. I want to go home."

We didn't speak a word on the way back to the house. Jeremy tried to start a few conversations, but couldn't hold on to any of them. My thoughts distracted me. The memory of the look of hurt on that woman and the look on Ben's face when he saw me kept replaying in my head on loop. I stayed quiet because I knew if I'd start crying if I opened my mouth to say anything other than yes and no.

"You can't tell, Alex," I told him as we parked in front of the house, "Jeremy, promise me you won't tell Alex about everything that happened today."

"Sophia." He said confused.

"You cannot tell her," I told him again "She has so much on her plate and so do I. The last things I need right now if for her to worry about me or try to set me up with someone new. I don't have the time and the heart to do this again. Promise me, Jer."

"Fine. Fine," he sighed, "I won't tell her about anything."

"Thank you!" I mumbled before getting out the car.

Derek greeted me at the door. He was on his way out with Mic. When they saw me, they both paused on the doorsteps and smiled at me. Derek reached out and pulled me under his shoulder as he brought me closer to his side with the brightest smile I've seen today.

"You look like a bus hit you," Derek said, "You should smile, Sophia. It's not every day that there's a party being thrown down the block,"

"I'm not going to any party tonight, Derek," I told him "I'm too tired to do anything other than sleep today. I call debs on the bed tonight."

He smiled as he squeezed me closer to him again, "The bed is all yours. I'm staying at Mic's after the party," he said, "Are you sure you don't want to come? Alex is coming, so is Ben."

"I'm not feeling like myself today; maybe next time." I told him as I walked past him.

"I can stay if you want," Derek said.

"It's fine," Cole said as he leaned against the frame of the stairs "I'm not going to any party so I can keep her accompanied for the what's remaining of the day. Plus, she's a big girl; she can take care of herself."

"I think I can manage sleeping in a bed on my own." I said as i stormed pass Cole and up the stairs to Derek's room.

What sucked the most about Derek's room is the lack of privacy he has due to his age. Derek tends to always lock himself in his room with loud music playing through his headphones when he plays video games; his music would be so loud that he wouldn't be able to hear the banging against the door nor the yelling for him to open the door. I guess that's why he doesn't have the key to his room anymore, which is why I can't lock myself in the room.

Despite the things that were going through my head and the s**t that was going through my heart, I took the time to change into a pair of shorts and one of Derek's sweaters, tied my hair up and removed the makeup I spent a half an hour putting so I can look good for Ben.

"What's wrong with you?" Cole said as he walked into the room and sat on the bed.

"Nothing is wrong with me" I said as folded the dress I was wearing.

He titled his head "Then why are you in this very pleasant mood?" he asked. 

"I'm just tired," I told him "I had a long stressful shitty day,"

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"I don't want to talk about s**t with you, Cole" I said allowing my temper to slip through.

He looked at me taken aback at my reply "Well obviously something is wrong with you,"

I ran my hand through my hair "Fuck.. I'm sorry," I told "I just ... I just need some sleep,"

He smiled with a head shake "Are you hungry?" he asked "We can go grab something to eat together,"

I shook my head "I'm not hungry," I told him "I just need sleep, Cole, so can you please leave me alone so I can close my eyes for 3 minutes before everyone comes storming me question and try to drag me somewhere. I just need a minute of silence and peace for myself with no disturbance,"

He smirked as a small chuckle fell off his lips "Remember when I used to say that?" he said as he got up "You used to get so pissed and demand wouldn't leave my side even when I need the smallest bit of space and peace of mind,"

I turned away from him as I tried to busy my life till he leaves "That was different though,"

"How the hell was that different?" he asked "So you get to pester me when I just need to be alone and I don't get to the same? Now that... that is not fair at all. You know this makes you a hypocrite, right?"

"Don't start, Cole," I warned him "I had a shitty day and the last thing I need right now is for you to s**t over it more,"

"I honestly do not understand you, Sophia," he said, annoyingness dripping off his tone "You want me to be your friend and you want me to open up to you and talk to you about the s**t that I am going though; but when it comes to you, you don't want to talk about absolutely nothing and you won't let me be your friend,"

I pinched my nose temple as I shut my eyes in frustration.

"How the f**k do you want me to be your friend when you wouldn't even talk to me or let me in?" he snapped "If can't get over what happened and start talking to me, I ..."

"You what? You're going to leave," I snapped back as I turned to him then pointed at the door "You know what, Cole, the door is right f*****g over so get the f**k out,"

I placed my hands on the desk behind me "Don't f*****g let the door hit you on the way out."

"I said leave, Cole, leave me the f**k alone." I snapped as soon as he tried to open his mouth.

My sobs and tears didn't wait for him to leave the room; all it took was for him to turn before they started tearing their way out. The emotions hit me twice as hard as the ones I felt when I saw Ben. At that point, it was hurt, sadness, betrayal and twice the amount of guilt for lashing out on Cole for something that wasn't his fault.

Despite all the feelings I was going through at that moment, the hate for knowing that Cole was right about Ben outweighed them all.