Mending Wounds

Chapter Fifteen

If there was one thing I loved about Alex's house the most, it's laying on the grass next to the pool during the early hours of dusk. They had a perfectly cushioned outdoor sofa that I could lay on, but for some reason that slightly wet grass has always been more tempting and fitted the moment. Every Friday morning, I'd lay on the wet grass next to the pool and I'd watch the dark blue sky turn orange. The best part of it has always been the cloud; in that time of day, the dark blue colored clouds outlined with orange would look like a sea full of wave.

I always valued those moments the most. When I was on the point of breaking, or when I just submitted a stressful assignment, I'd wake up early and lay on the grass and watch the waves of clouds move and the street lamp posts close one by one. In those moments, I'd feel peaceful and content with my life. Today was one of them. Watching the dark blue night fade into the orange skyline was what I needed to take my mind off my breakup with Ben or what I know was a breakup since I just walked away then block him on the way back home.

"What are you doing here so early in the morning?" I heard someone asked as he took a seat next to me on the grass.

I turned to Jessy with a smile "I didn't know you were here,"

"I got too drunk at the party down the block and drunk-dialed Cole," he said "I don't really remember that happened after that."

"People usually drunk dial their exes," I giggled "Is there something you and Cole want to tell me?"

He chuckled "No," he said "Is there something you want to talk to me about?."

I shook my head "What would I have to hide from you?." 

He shrugged before laying on the grass next to me.

"Woah." he said.

I turned my head to side and watch his face as he looked up to the sky amazed "I know right"

"That explains a lot." he said.

"Explains what?" I asked, confused.

He shook his head "It's nothing really," he said "I came out here a few days ago and found Cole laying in this same spot around the same time. He seemed distracted and didn't want to talk at all. I get why now. Did you guys used to do this together?"

"No, I never did this with Cole," I told him "He'd usually still be passed out drunk at this time of day back then. This is where I run to when I'm troubled, so I didn't bring him here because I want to keep it as trouble and stress-free as possible."

He smiled “I hate to bring stress here, but you got to be careful, Sophia” he said “Rowen has been saying things about you yesterday at the party”

“What is it this time?” I sighed uninterested “Is it me stealing her best friend, boyfriend, father or grandfather? that girl is wrong in the head”

“That you stole Cole from her” he said “She’s going after him”

“She’s delusional” I chuckled “I stole no one from anyone. Plus, Cole hates her; he would be the dumbest person on earth if he even allowed her near him”

“You’re right” he chuckled.

I smiled then turned my attention back to the sky “I always am”

***

“Are you sure you’re not coming?” Alex asked “I mean I feel bad since lately every time you come over, I have to be somewhere and so does Derek”

I leaned against the counter “It fine. I get to experience the quietness of your house” I told her “Plus, I’ll be working on my C.V today. You know how I have my own couch when I do so here”

She gave me a hug from the back “I promise that once you’re done with your assignment, we will dress up and I’ll take you out on an ‘Alex and Sophia date’, we haven’t had one of those in a while”

“We haven’t” I smiled.

Alex and Sophia dates are one of the rituals that Alex and I kind fell into growing up. After a stressful week, Alex and I would dress up and get all dolled up then go to our favorite Mexican restaurant. It was a compromise between a club and a restaurant. Usually Alex would drink to loosen up and I’d just usually eat then she’d end up dancing and I watch and encourage her from my seat and watch over her.

“I’d love that” I nodded.

She gave me a kiss on the cheeks before she moved back and carried on getting dressed.

“Did you talk to your mum?” she asked as she sat down in front of her makeup vanity.

“About?” I asked.

“The trip to Amsterdam” she said.

I shook my head “I know her answer, Alex” I told her “It’s too far away from home. I never travelled on my own, so what makes you think that my parents are going to let me leave to freakin’ Amsterdam out of everywhere in the world”

“C’mon, it’s time for you to leave the nest” she whined “I don’t want to be the only female aside of my mum”

“It’s a family trip” I told her “I shouldn’t be there anyways”

“You should. Sophia you’ve been a part of this family for as long as I remember, you know damn well that you are family at this point”

“Thank you, Alex”

“Two weeks in Amsterdam with us; food, transpiration, flight ticket and place to stay is free. You don’t need anything other than that. Plus, you’ve been saving up for a while for this” she said “I will not go on that trip without you”

“You are stupid if you pass up on a trip like this for me” I told her as I turned to walk out of the room with my laptop “You know that I’m not going anywhere because of my parents”

I found myself in the kitchen after Alex left, I ended up making cookies instead of working on my C.V. on Alex’s laptop because I had a block and my brain was thinking of too many things instead of what I was actually doing. Every time I would sit in front of my laptop, I’d remember the nights I’d stay up at night and Skype Ben until midnight. So, I decided to work on it another time instead.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at your boyfriend’s today?” Cole asked as he leaned against the counter “It’s Saturday after all.”

I tucked my hair behind my ear “Listen, about last night, I’m really sorry I snapped at you,” I told him “I know we have this thing where we usually snap at each other and fight for no god damn reason, but I feel like s**t for snapping at you when all you did was try to make me feel better.”

He gave me a small smile “It’s fine, this has became the new us at some point.” he said “And you didn’t answer my question”

I turned and pretended to look for something in the fridge “I don’t feel like going today; plus, I saw him yesterday”

“Is that why you were upset yesterday and still are?”

I closed the fridge then leaned against it “I was last night, but it wasn’t because of him; and I’m not upset anymore” I lied.

He chuckled “You mouth is saying something, but your hands are saying something else” he said as he pointed at my flour covered hands “You’xre baking cookies”

I looked down at my hands then shook my head “Guilty Cookies”

Cole nodded with a grin “Alex and I always felt guilty for enjoying it since you only makes them when you were down about something” he pointed out before looking down to his hands that fuddled with his T-shirt “Alex must have enjoyed the jars filled with them when I left after the breakup”

“My family did too” I told him “I didn’t come here for a while after what happened, it was too much to handle at the time”

“Oh” he simply said “Is it still the case?”

I moved the dirty dishes to the sink as I shook my head “During the first couple of days I couldn’t bring myself to walk into a place we shared so many memories in; I couldn’t walk pass the door without missing you and I couldn’t even hold it together” I said with my back to him “Alex had to meet me at the coffee house down the road once a week. Eventually, I managed to get my s**t together and was finally able to walked into the house, but I still haven’t been able to walk into your room until the last time.”

We both stood there in silence; me washing the dishes that I used, and him standing where he is as he watched me in silence “I meant what I said that day; I missed you every single day I was away from you.”

I felt a shiver run down my spine and the hair on my body stand up as I felt his hot breath hit the back of my neck. When I felt his lips brush the back of my ear, I leaned back into him subconsciously. It was as if my body had a mind of its own, leaning into his chest as it missed his touch.

“I missed you” he whispered in my ear before brushing his lips against the side of my neck.

Cole has always been like drugs to me. His touch, his presence, his voice, his lips and everything else about him brought me to my knees. Sometimes it was addictive in a good and sometimes in a bad way, but in the end, it was mostly addictive in a bad way; one Touch and you are hooked for a life time; getting over him was like rehab to me.

When we were together, I couldn’t see pass him at all; I could’t image my life without him nor wanted to. I couldn’t stay away and I didn’t want to either. I got so addicted and hooked to the point it broke me into pieces when he left me; it was a type of broken that I could never let myself feel again nor allow myself to be. It was the type of broken that build the walls around my heart so far that I didn’t allow myself to completely let go of myself with anyone else after him.

I didn’t fight him when he closed the water then turned me around, nor when he reached down to kiss me. He knew how to touch me, he knew how to bring me down to my knees with a single touch and even a single word. At that moment all I needed was him, all I needed was him to touch me and make me forget about everything; I needed him to get me high on his touch and make me forget the s**t that I was going through.

“Sophia.” he whispered as he leaned down to my lips “I...”

I shook my head “Stop talking. Just... Just kiss me, Cole” I told him “I need you to shut up and kiss me”

He didn’t hesitate a second to do so, nor did I have to ask him twice to do so. The second that his lips touched mine, I felt a huge weight left off my shoulders as I fell everything around me slip away and fade into nothing. At that moment, nothing matter than the boy I once fell for years ago; at that moment, the boy I was kissing was the version of Cole that I know and feel for.

I felt relived as his lips moved against mine; they were as tender and full as I remember and often imaged as I hugged my pillows at night missing him. Even after all this time, our lips still seemed to remember how to move against each other; they didn’t need to be reminded of how to move against each other, they just knew how by heart.

A frustrated sigh fell off my lips when he backed away.

“You have a boyfriend” he reminded “I’m making you cheat on him”

I shook my head as I tried to reconnect my lips upon his, but he moved away.

“You broke up” he stated knowing.

I didn’t give him an answer, I just simply brought his lips back to mine as I pushed my hands through his messy hazel-colored hair. A small gasp escaped my lips when he pulled closer to him, and a smirk appeared on his.

“Your body still remembers me. Still as responsive as it was the first time I touched you” he then dropped his lips to my ear “I wonder if it’s still as responsive to my dirty words too?”

He then paused for a second before moved his lips closer to my earth, close enough for me to feel his hot breath against my ear “Let me take you upstairs” he whispered as he creased my cheek.

I moved away and looked up to him through my lashes.

“Let me take you to my room” he repeated.

I shook my head.

He smirked “Then do you want me to do that here then” he whispered as he lips brushed against my ear then down to my neck “Do you want me too, Baby Girl?”

I felt the air knock out of my lungs and my knees growing weak. I opened my mouth to reply or say something, but I just ended up moaning as his lips reached the skin where my neck and shoulder met.

He chuckled “I guess I just got my answer”

He didn’t even blink or struggle when he lifted me off the ground and placed me up on the counter; it was as if I weighted nothing at all. A little gasp left my mouth as the cold surface of the counter touched my bare thighs. Even with all the force he used to kiss me, I refused to lean away from him and allow him to take control of me.

He dropped his hand down to my knees to spread them open before he guided them up to my hips and dug his fingers. My hands… well, my hands grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his s**t without any hesitation. I was consumed by familiarity and the comfort that comes with it, having Cole so close to me and holding me the way he used to made everything around us feel less complicated like it used too when we were in high school and in love.

Whenever I am with Cole, most of what I do is constant moans and gasp. An example was right now, he grabbed my ankles and pulled my body to his; to be specific, he pulled me right against his crotch causing me to release another moan as I reached down to his sweatpants and lower them.

“If we’re going to do this, let me at least take you up to my room instead” he chuckled.

I shook my head again, unable to form a single word.

“What are you scared off?” he mumbled into my neck “You haven’t stepped a foot into my room since I’ve been here?”

Why was I scared of? He knew all the things that I was scared of. He knew that, and I was scared of falling right back into his arms and let myself get hurt again. I’m scared to walk into his room and shared for more than a year where we told each other ‘I love you’, where we first share our first kiss, where we stayed up for hours talking about random s**t, and spelled countless of secrets as we cuddled. It also happened to be the place where we fought most of the time, the place where we broke up and a place where we both said things we didn’t mean. I was scared that the feelings I had for him would overwhelm me as soon as I walk into that room, and I’d end up. breaking again and letting him see me like that again.

“How about the couch? Can we at least move there?” he asked “We’re right across the door. We both don’t want to be butt naked when my parents or siblings walk in”

“No” I shook my head.

He sighed “Sophia, C’mon, let’s just go upstairs”

“Forget it” I said annoyed.

I attempted to jump off the table, but my ass barely lifted off the table before he pushed me back to my place and placed his lips right back where I wanted them to. He didn’t waste time at all, he dropped his lips down to my neck and started to leave small kisses along my neck as his hand reached up to my chest while his other gripped onto my thighs. I didn’t even get the chance to get close to it before I grabbed his hands and placed it on my face.

I didn’t know where this boost of courage came from or how I acted on it, but I somehow gather enough courage to take the lead by dropping my hands down to his sweat shorts and pulled on the strings. He smiled against my neck before taking a step closer to me as he helped me untie the knot.

I felt his finger dig into my thighs when I ran my finger along him. I smiled against his lips as I gave him a little squeeze causing him to groan against my neck before he slightly moved his lips away from mine. I couldn’t possibly forget what he liked when it came to me touching him; I remembered the amount of pressure he’d liked, the speed, and the way he liked me to move. Thus, it wasn’t hard from me to turn him into a moaning mess under my hands as I stroked him above his underwear. Whenever his hand would hike up the skirt of my dress, I’d grab it with my other hand and place it back on my hips.

“Let me touch you, Soph” he groaned as he attempted to touch my upper thighs again “Let me feel you”

“You first” I told him.

A small chuckle fell off his lips “I’m not going to last long though” he said before grabbing my hand.

In one swift motion, he pulled me against him making me gasp. He brought his lips back to mine as he took a hold of both my thighs and wrapped them around his waist. His hand briefly left my thigh to lower his pants before he grabbed my hips. I couldn’t stop myself from moaning as he moved me against him; hell, I wasn’t even trying to stop myself from doing so because I just needed to feel him against me for a minute.

“Cole” I moaned, instantly biting my lips when I realized what I did.

“s**t” he groaned “f**k, I missed this so much. I missed you”

He then picked me off the ground and lowered us both to the ground so that I was straddling him on the floor. He didn’t rush me into anything, he just held onto my hips as I moved against him, occasionally letting out a moan or two whenever I press harder against him. I felt him tense up under me, he leaned up to my lips and captured my lips with his again, letting out a few moans against my lips.

I felt how warm he was when he came in his pants that were directly against. His lips dropped to my shoulder as he gave it a kiss that followed with another one on the base of my neck, another on my neck, where my jaw and neck met, my jawline, my cheek, my lips and then on last one on my nose. He then tucked my hair behind ear.

“Sophia” I heard Alex call as she walked into the house.

My hands flew up to Cole mouth before covering it, begging him with my eyes to be quiet.

“I’m too lazy to look for you so please come up stairs, I have some gossiping to do” she called.

I sighed once I heard his food steps disappear, then rested my head against his chest. I took deep breath as I tried to slow my pounding heartbeat. I then fuddled the draw strings of the sweatpants before I pulled them to their place and tying them.

“You don’t have to go” he said, he then sighed “I mean… I don’t want you to go. Stay”

“Alex doesn’t know that Ben and I broke up” I told him, voice barely over a whisper.

“Why did you guys breakup?” he asked.

I didn’t want to answer that question. If he knew the true reason behind the breakup, I know what he will say, I know that he will know that he was right all along and that will pity me. I didn’t want anyone to pity me, and I didn’t want them to see as broken or look at me any differently.

“I need to go” I said as I tried to get up.

“Sophia, we need to talk about this” he grabbed my hand “You can’t just go. Alex’s gossip can wait”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Cole” I told him as I slipped my hand out of his.

“I meant what just happened between us” he got up “What is this? What just happened?”

“Sophia” Alex called as she walked into the kitchen, she then paused at the kitchen counter as her eyes traveled between Cole and I “Where were you guys? And what’s going on?”

Cole leaned back against the counter “Nothing, we’re just talking” he said “We were walking around the block”

“Well can you please leave now so I can talk to my best friend” She said folding her arms.

He kicked himself off the counter then leaned next to my ear “We’ll finish this later” he said before walking off.

When he was gone, Alex turned to me “Is there anything going on between you two?” she asked.

I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair “Nothing you don’t already know about” I lied.