Mending Wounds

Chapter Six

First week, it was food poisoning; the second week, I couldn’t bring myself to go my classes so I skipped them all for a week; the third week, I had my semester break; and the fourth, I didn’t leave the how as well because it was exam week and I didn’t have any exams. It was as if the universe has finally felt sorry for me and gave me the space I needed from everyone. A break that I deserved after all the s**t I went through.

I cry myself to sleep every night, and I didn’t sit in the dark and wish everything would change. I did what I knew would help me get over this pain I had in my chest. I buried myself into my assignments, and worked on CPS, doing everything online with a little of paragraphs of explanation for Derek to understand.

My phone was off for most of the four weeks. My tutor would contact me though email, and my family would talk to me face to face since I don’t leave the house. As for my friends, Alex and her whole family, I cut all of them out for the past month. I’ve only been in contact with Derek though the online document that I leave my explanations to whatever I was working on.

The only person I’ve been contacting was Ben, I text him on Skype though my laptop, and video called him a few times over the few weeks. I didn’t tell him what happened with Cole. He doesn’t even know that Cole exists. The only thing he knew is that I’m not speaking to anyone within or close to Alex’s family because I’ve had a big fight with them. Jeremy was the one who told him that, and Ben only brought it up once before I asked him not to bring it because I wasn’t ready to talk about it.

I knew that I couldn’t keep pushing everyone away when it wasn’t even their fault. This was between me and Cole, and I’ve involved everyone in it. It’s just that I needed the space and needed to clear my head. I need the space to breath without having everyone trying to fix something in me that was not broken by consistently asking me to talk about it with them. This was something I had to fix on my own, something between me and my feelings. It wasn’t even related to Cole at this point either. I had to make the decision of what happens next on my own, Which I did.

I decided to stop letting people’s word get to me. I decided that whatever happens between Cole and I should not reflect on my relationship with his family, and that they didn’t need to know about how I’m handling my feelings when it comes to him. I decided that it was about time that I opened-up to Adam like he opened-up to me. And I decided that I would forgive Cole for what he did and keep my distance from him as much as I can.

I fuddled with my fingers as I waited in front of the house after ringing the bell, I didn’t have the guts to just walk into the house with no invitation. I felt as if I wasn’t welcomed to do so after the month of silence and ghosting everyone within the house.

It was Alex who opened the door. She had her hair pulled into a low messy bun and dressed in one of Jeremy’s grey hoodies with a pair of black leggings.

I tugged onto the sleeves of the white sweater I was wearing, as I rocked back and forth on my white sneakers “Hey”

“Hey” she said.

We both fell in silence as I looked around the place not knowing what to say. I didn’t really plan on what to say after my greeting and before may apology.

“I was worried about you” she said “I haven’t heard anything from you for almost a month”

“I know” I kept on tagging at my sleeves “I just had to work on something on my own. I had a lot of things to sort out”

“Well did you?” she asked.

I nodded; eyes already blurry “I shouldn’t have cut you off. I should’ve talked to you about it” I apologized “I’m so sorry, Al”

She gave me a small smile. She then reached out and wrapped her arms around my neck as she pulled me in a hug. I wrapped my arms around her back and sobbed into her shoulder as I kept apologizing. We stood there for what seem like hours, just crying into each other before Derek showed up and I continued crying and apologizing to him too.

We ended up in coffee shop down the road, Alex on her laptop watching doing her online classes, while Derek and I Worked on the presentation slides for our pitch for the contest next week. The way we talked and worked felt like we didn’t just reconnect after a month of me disappearing. We had the type of friendship that didn’t break over gap, not over a fight or a conflict.

“Do you want me to grab you some coffee, Sophia?” Derek asked as he got up.

I shook my head “No, thank you”

“Ice Coffee, please” Alex said, eyes not moving away from her laptop.

As soon as Derek left, I leaned forward on the table “How’s Jer?” I asked.

Finally, for the first time since we sat down, she looked up from her laptop and smile “He’s good” she smiled “How’s Ben?”

“He’s good too” I said “What about your classes, how are they going?”

She rolled her eyes “I haven’t seen him, Sophy, not in a while. He’s not gone, we just don’t talk much anymore, and I don’t see him because he has a part time job that’s been keeping him busy and out of the house most of the time” She said, then continued when she saw the expression on my face “Cole I mean, that’s why you’re asking me all these random questions, right?”

I sighed “I don’t want you to ruin your bond and relationship with your brother because of me, Alex. You two shouldn’t fight over me, this isn’t a 10 years old kids fight that you have to choose sides in”

She shook her head “And you don’t even know why we fought in the first place, so don’t worry your little head about it” she said “The fight wasn’t about you”

“Of course, it was” I told her “All your fights have always been about me”

She leaned back into her chair “We fight because we are siblings, Sophia. Nothing more. Yes, sometimes it can be about you, but not every single time” she said “So just f*****g drop it already”

I put up my hand in defeat “Alright, Alright. Calm your t**s” I said as I rolled my eyes.

Alex stuck her tongue out then moved her eyes back to her laptop “You’re lucky you don’t get under my skin anymore, otherwise, you’ve been crying by now”

“And you’re lucky I don’t get offended at your stupid comments, otherwise, I would’ve un-friended you a long time ago” I said as I pushed the screen of her laptop down “Anyways, are you coming to the contest thing to support Derek next week?”

She nodded “And support you too, and so is my mum” she pointed out “Are you inviting Ben?”

I shrugged “Haven’t thought about it” I said “My friends from class are going to be there, and my mum and sister as well”

“You should invite him” she said “Ben never met your friends or been a part of anything that involves your personal life. It’s like you’re keeping him in the corner of your life. It’s time for you to share more than your saliva with him”

I made a disgusted face at her “You’re f*****g gross, Alex”

“Speaking of Gross” Derek said as he sat down with the two drinks “You need to be heading home, Alex. Your stupid friend should be on her way to our house right about now”

I looked over to Derek as I learned forward “Go ahead, Derek will take good care of me” I told her “We will be over here having fun, while you get bored to death hanging out with that evil witch you call a friend”

Alex rolled her eyes “Whatever” she sighed “I need to be home early anyways since Jer is coming home today”

“If you say so” I told her as I turned to Derek who already had a smile painted across his face.

Derek and I stayed there for the remaining of the afternoon, finishing the deck of slides and writing down our presentation in cue cards. It took us around 4 hours to finish editing and putting the whole thing together. If it for my laptop dying and the fact that I forgot my charger, we would have stayed there for longer to practice the presentation. While I decided to walk back to the house to head to bed early, Derek decided to go to Mic’s house to hang with the boys.

It was moments like these where I walked alone in the quiet streets that I loved the most. Moments like these where I got be only in my head as I watched the orange sky turn into blue, and the people around me fade in the background as I listened to one of my random playlists. I didn’t have to talk, I didn’t have to think, I had the time to just look around and admire that butty surrounding me that I don’t often have the time to stop and enjoy. Those were one of the only moments where I felt like everything would be alright and I felt internal peace.

The only tragic things about those moments are the fact that they don’t last for long. I felt the calmness and ease slip away from me as I approached the house, the sounds out yells increasing as I reached the door and turned it open. It’s wasn’t Alex’s parents arguing, and it wasn’t Alex arguing with either Jeremy or Rowen. It was Alex arguing with Cole. They were both in the living room along with Jeremy.

“Stop acting like a goddamn drama queen, Alex” Cole yelled “The world does not revolve around you and your perfect little life”

“My perfect little life? Cole, my life has been far from that” She yelled back “I’m sorry that my life seems so perfect compared to yours, and that’s not my fault Cole. It’s not my fault that you’re such a f**k up and can’t seem to be able to hold anything. It’s not my fault that you can’t keep a girl because you don’t know how to love anyone other than yourself; it’s not my fault that you’re not good at anything other than being a f**k up; it’s not my fault that our parents are ashamed of you for being a f**k up that couldn’t even manage to make it through college; and it’s definitely not my fault that you can’t seem to move on over a girl who doesn’t even love you anymore because you f*****g messes up.

“The only person here to blame is you, Cole. You did all of this, so don’t f*****g blame me for being able to get my f*****g life together and make my parents proud because you never could” she yelled then shook her head “And I’m not f*****g sorry that I agree with dad that you are a f**k up and waiting for everything to be handed over to you because you’re too f*****g lazy to get s**t done yourself. You f*****g ruin everything you touch, Cole, I wish you never c…”

“Alex” Jeremy yelled interrupting her sentence.

Cole shook his head “You know what... f**k you, Alex. I don’t need this, and I don’t need you either” he said before he stormed pass me.

“Go, I got this” he said referring to me, nodding his head toward the direction that Cole headed.

“I swear to god, Sophia, if you go after him” Alex said, on the verge of tears.

“Alex, Shut up. Are you even hearing your f*****g self?” Jeremy said, causing her to break into full sobs and tears. He then looked over to me again “I said go. I got this”

As Jeremy instructed, I followed Cole into his room. He was already sitting on the bed with his hand in his hands, grabbing a fist-full of his hair. I took a seat on the floor right at his feet, pushed his hands away before I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought his face down to my neck.

“You’re not a f**k up” I whispered “You never were, Olly”

I heard his quiet snob in my neck as he cried silently, so I held him there for as long as he wanted me too. I hugged him as I allowed him to use my shoulder to cry on, something he allowed me to do so many times before everything between us feel apart. It didn’t matter if we weren’t on good terms at the moment; he needed me, and I owe it to him to be there just like he was to me. For the sake of what we had and how long we go back, I kept whatever was happening between us on a break and fully allowed myself to comfort him.­