Programmed Love

Chapter Thirteen: Alone

    "Miss Valencia, are you awake yet?" Corrine's muffled voice asked through the wooden door to my new room. It seemed as though every hour since six o'clock this morning she'd came by asking the same question. Restlessness accompanied my few hours of sleep, and when I could no longer find the small bed comfortable, I'd grabbed a few pillows and had situated myself outside on the small balcony from my room. When I came out, I'd left the sliding glass door open so I could hear when she came by, as well as the deep ringing of the grandfather clock from somewhere inside the house. The second time Corrine came by, I'd sat delicately on the moss-ridden balcony ledge with my legs swinging dangerously over the side.

     The thought of falling had crossed my mind a few times, but other than those occasions, my mind was blank. I'd experienced the night sounds of crickets and cicadas, the morning song of the birds, and the gentle breeze that comes after the sunrise, yet I hadn't moved that entire time. Every signal from my stiff, screaming muscles that told me to move, or stretch had been pushed to the very back recesses of my mind. All that mattered to me was staring down the dirt trail that we'd followed the previous day to get here. It had looked quite sinister during the night hours, but daylight had washed away all the darkness and pain of it. I could only imagine that my eyes seemed dull and lifeless at this moment.

     "Miss, how long have you been out here?" Corrine softly asked from near behind me. I hadn't even heard the door open. Turning my head slightly to the side, I sent her a blank expression to acknowledge her presence so she knew I had heard her. 

     "Oh, Valencia, you poor thing. Let's get you off that before you fall, and you're also not dressed for the chill out here. You could catch a cold," she worridly said, quickly moving to my side and grasping my hand that was firmly gripped onto the rail. I released the rail and allowed her to gently take me off the ledge, leading me carefully back into my room. The room seemed dark compared to the outside, and I soon longed to be back on my peaceful ledge, free from all my worries and pain. My legs ached from the lack of stretching them, but I still followed obediently behind Corrine as she led me into the hall.

     "I found some clothes for you in a room dedicated to being a closet, as well as some food in a pantry for breakfast. Orson's been occupied with exploring the place, something you should do as well since we're now living here, I guess," she trailed off with a slight undertone of sadness that was unlike her," But oh well! I have to go pick up some things from the Master and Mistress's lodgings soon, so you'll be left alone for awhile. I hope you can get accustomed to this place soon," she finished before stopping at a door with peeling green paint to reveal the oak wood beneath it. I nodded at her to tell her I understood, and she sent me one last smile before walking off.

     The knob was cold to the touch, but it hardly registered as I quickly opened it to reveal a medium sized box that was taped shut with the words "clothes" written on it in spidery writing. My knife was still in my bag that I'd left in my room, so I searched for a while to find something sharp enough to open it, only to have a sudden realization when a glimmer of gold was seen out of the corner of my eye. I hadn't taken the panther necklace off yet, so I utilised the small miniature knife within to my advantage as I cut the tape. The knife was extremely sharp for being so small, and it surprised me when it easily glided across the tape. Sliding it back into the small hole it belonged, I proceeded to open the box.

     The clothes smelled extremely musty, but I brushed that aside as I looked into it further. Aradella had been kind enough to make black the main color scheme, and there were very few dresses. The only curious thing, however, was the lack of the color blue or white. It made me curious, and some life finally returned back to me. I sifted through the items of clothing a bit more until deciding on a simple black t-shirt with black ripped jeans. I pulled my hair back and walked out of the room, glancing to the left, then the right, trying to decide which way would be better. 

     My stomach growled at me, causing me to quickly glance down at it. I'd nearly forgotten that sound since Dominic had been making sure I ate every meal, as well as small snacks in between. Memories of all the times he made me things as small as a little bag of fruit, as well as big things like a whole plate filled with mouthwatering foods. He'd spoiled me, and I'd nearly forgotten the feeling of hunger.

     Figuring a kitchen or pantry would be near the entrance to the plantation, I headed off to the right where Corrine had wandered off a small while before. She was most likely heading towards the exit at that time, so following suit would most likely take me to where I wanted to be. If not, it was still good to explore.

     I eventually found the main stairway, which surprised me from how fancy it was. I must not have been all there last night to notice it. At the left end of the hallway that I came out of, there was a staircase that curved down towards the middle, and the right side mirrored the image. The house seemed surprisingly old-fashioned since I was living in a futuristic world. It was obvious that this place had been abandoned long ago. 

     Peeking around the archway to the right, then the left, I realised that the right archway led into a kitchen. The kitchen was a lot smaller than the one I'd been used to for the last two weeks, but it felt more homely. From deep inside my memories, I could also see similarities to this kitchen from the one in my childhood. A deep maroon curtain to the left of a cream fridge led into the pantry I assumed Corrine had told me about, only it wasn't filled to the brim with food. A few loaves of bread sat wrapped on a shelf, and raiding the fridge revealed a small hunk of ham that would be enough for a couple sandwiches. I hoped some of the things Corrine was going to pick up includes more food. There was hardly enough for me and Orson since I was sure he was hungry. 

     The small sandwich was enough to semi fill my stomach as I left the small kitchen to go look around. The house was mostly devoid of anything, with the exception of the occasional dust bunny. Eventually, I came across a cellar door which led down to a large, square basement and a couple crates and boxes with tarps. I'd went through a few of them to discover a couple scrap parts for robots, as well as several old books on technology, and how to make it. My eyebrows had been raised at that, and I mentally noted how I'd found the cellar so I could return down here at a later time. Without Dominic around, or anyone else for that matter, I could finally start figuring out the what to do with the key. Alone.

                                           ~                                            ~                                        ~             

     'Why must he continue to cry? Why can't he be happy? He should have forgotten about her by now. She can't have mattered that much to him! Why won't he even allow himself the simple comfort of my presence?' I asked myself. It was frustrating to say the least. My plan was that he'd forget about her within a couple days, then come running back into my arms. Yet the outcome has been truly unsatisfactory. Every night I'm forced to hear his cries of inner pain, and it nearly kills me. 

     He's taken to staying within his room, only coming out once a day for food. The few times I have seen him, he's been getting thinner. His hair is unkempt, dark bags have appeared beneath his eyes, his complexion has paled, his clothes haven't changed. He's practically the personification of a ghost. It broke my heart to see him as such a mess. Even Grandma couldn't cheer him up.

     His attitude had also taken a sour turn. If I so much as said 'hello', he'd send me a dirty look before turning away and walking off. The only presence he'd accept was Violet's. Otherwise, he'd turn away, finish what he was doing, and quickly leave without speaking. The only words he'd uttered over the past week were during his crying fits in the middle of the night. I needed to help him.

     I'd been lying in my bed for the past two hours thinking of Dominic's condition, and I knew I wouldn't sleep if I didn't at least try to help him. Releasing a heavy sigh, I sat up from my plush bed with a frown. My black hair was tousled, and my pajamas were wrinkled, but my appearance didn't matter much when the only people who would see me was Grandma and Dominic.

      Creeping into the hallway, I carefully made my way towards the quiet sobbing behind Nic's door. Knocking gently, I heard Dominic's faint cries stop for a moment before a choked noise escaped him. He coughed to clear his throat before trying again.

     "Go away,"  he called out in muffled sobs.

     "Nic, it's me. I want to help," I told him. I got a sudden idea as I glanced to the right beside his door towards a small desk. A group of white roses were held inside, and I grabbed them out as an offering. White was his favorite color after all. 

     "Haven't you helped enough?" He rhetorically asked. For a moment I was dumbstruck by his words. I thought I had been helping him at the time, at least.

     "Please, Nic. Don't act like this. You've been moping around for the past week. Just let me come i-" was all I got out before his door swung open with a blotchy, tear-streaked face behind it. 

     "I'm fine, Ella. Just... let me be. I just need a bit more time to myself is all," he informed me with a small smile. I held my arm out to him with the flowers and sent him a caring smile. 

     "I thought you'd like some roses, and maybe a hug?" I invited with open arms. He seemed to consider it for a moment before caving in, practically falling into my arms as tears started streaming down his face once again. 

     We stood there for a few moments, a smile grew on my face as he cried into my shoulder. He hadn't accepted one of my hugs for so long, it felt nice to have his warmth pressed against me once more. It seemed cruel to smile at his pain, but I couldn't control my small joy. 

     "What's been ailing you so much lately, Nic? You seemed to be getting better, if not only slightly, a few days ago," I stated, gently running my thin fingers through his tangled hair. It felt greasy and uncared for. 

     "I k-keep trying to contact her, b-but every time I call her through Corrine just so I can at least see her face, I'm told that Valencia's off doing something else, or not available at the moment. Every. Single. Time! It frustrates, aggravates, and saddens me! I don't know what to do!" He exclaimed. His tears gradually stopped as he blew off steam, releasing me from his arms and staring me straight in my eyes. Thousands of emotions swam in his eyes, but mostly fury was present. It seemed like he was nearly ready to kill me with his glare right then and there. 

     "Maybe it's time to move on from her? It seems apparent to me that she's grown tired of you, or at the very least, doesn't appreciate all you're trying to offer her. None of it is your fault, Nic," I told him, reaching out to stroke his cheek. He turned his head away, and went to move back into his room. 

     "Perhaps you're right. But, it felt like real love, Ella! I could have sworn I meant something to her! She seems just like a ghost to me, one minute there then she was gone. Every small smile she sent my way, every happy glint in her eyes, every blush, every hug, every kiss... They feel like they never happened at all. Just like a silent ghost," he ended, back turned.

     "I'm sure in time, that's all she'll ever be to you. Moving on now will help you in the long run," I tried telling him before he erupted in anger. 

     "No! I don't want to ever forget her! I want to hold her in my arms again and never let her go! I want to lock her away somewhere where she can never leave me again! She belongs by my side where I can witness her smiling face every second of the day! I feel dead without her, don't you understand?" He exclaimed, grasping my shoulders with an immense strength I didn't know he even had. I felt my back being slammed into a wall behind me, and worry filled my consciousness. 

     "Nic, you're hurting me," I told him with a slightly strained tone. This seemed to only anger him even further. 

     "It's what you deserve! You deserve to feel all the pain you've caused me over my entire life! Why can't you let me just be happy?" He shouted in my face, his grip moving up to my neck, a slight squeezing taking place. Dropping the roses in my hand, I put both of mine over his with a pleading look. 

     "I'm so sorry, Dominic. Don't do this. You've never liked death," I tried reasoning. Tears brimmed my eyes as I stared at him, pure sorrow leaving me as I witnessed the monster I'd created over the years. I hadn't known the trauma I'd put him through, but it all seemed to come flooding out in this one moment. His grip around my throat tightened, and I felt my windpipe being crushed. 

     "Please... Domi... Nic... Stop," I choked out, "I love you."

     Just as black dots began to fill the corners of my vision, he released me with an angered noise. 

     "I love you, too, Aradella. But I can't take this anymore! You've turned me into a monster. A monster!" He said, bending down slowly to the flowers I'd dropped on the carpeted floor. Picking them up, he held them to his chest like a life line before looking into my eyes once more. 

     "You know, I hate the color red, but it suits you. It shows the darkness in your soul," he told me before briskly turning away and walking back into his room, muttering to himself. 

     I had nothing else to say to him after his last retort. Words like those used to hurt me deeply, but the heavy atmosphere he'd left behind only brought rage to me. Everything I'd done, I'd done for him. So we could be happy together. Moving to close his door, he spoke once more, mostly to himself I'm sure. 

     "If she won't answer me, I'll just have to greet her tomorrow in the flesh. Mmm, flowers seem like a good thing to bring her. She always did love the garden," he said softly to himself, but that just fueled my anger more, and I turned on my own bare heel to my room. 

     "Maybe one small visit of my own will be made tomorrow. If she's the only thing that brings him joy, and I always take away his happiness, my mission isn't complete yet," I spoke to myself. My eyes narrowed as I threw open my door, slamming it shut behind me. 

     I threw myself onto my bed and laid there, pondering on just how I'd do it. Quick and painless, or slow and agonizing. Maybe I could use the bow I value so much to accomplish it. 

     "Hmm, not as personal that way," I told myself, throwing away the idea. I could always just find something laying around her house. Overpowering her couldn't be that hard, especially since I'd trained myself for strength since I ran the Arena. 

     Picking myself up from my bed, I went to my closet to choose an outfit for the next morning. A silk dress with a dark maroon top and long black skirt caught my eye. Two straps were designed to hang around the shoulders to add to the elegance. Black vines swirled around the maroon top, and they led to maroon roses at the bottom. I hadn't worn the dress in forever, but blue had been my main color lately. A change would be nice. 

     I laid it out on my desk, then grabbed my sapphire jeweled dagger to go with it. I'd have to make sure to get up earlier than Dominic, much earlier, since I needed to get to her before him. If I could finish my business before he arrived, I could frame it on Corrine, mess up her memory chip, and make it seem like she went haywire. There was nothing that could go wrong. 

     Smiling to myself, I turned off my light and went to my bed, fluffing up my pillow and resting my head down on it. Tomorrow would be eventful, and then all Dominic would have would be me. His thoughts could be diminished from her, and I'd be the one to thank. 

     Just you wait, Valencia. I'd warned you long ago to leave him alone, and now, you'll have no choice. But don't worry, I won't ever let him be alone.