Programmed Love

Chapter Twelve: Desperation

'Knock'

'Knock'

'Knock'

     "Come on, Sweetheart, time to wake up! I let you sleep in longer than usual, and I'm missing you already!" Came my routine wake up call from Dominic. Internally groaning, I glanced to my left side towards the miniature antique clock I had requested for my wall. The morning sunlight illuminated the clock, signifying it to be 7:30, only fifteen minutes past the time he normally woke me up. I mentally groaned once more and flipped onto my other side, snuggling into the sleeping pizzly bear beside me. A few moments later, another knock came from my door.

     "I heard you shuffling around in there, Cutie! It's time for your breakfast, and I have a lot planned today! Don't make me come in there myself," he jokingly threatened. That caused me to spring up from my bed, messy hair, tousled clothes, and all. The last time he'd physically came into my room to get me up, he'd assaulted me with tickles and kisses, accidentally pushing Orson off my bed in the process, and Orson still had a slight limp. I cringed at the thought before making my way to the door, knocking from the inside to tell him that I was out of my bed. 

     "Aww, I was really hoping I'd be able to see you're cute little tired self this morning," he dramatically whined before continuing," You have ten minutes to get ready, Darling. I'll be waiting right here." 

     I quickly made my way to my wardrobe, grabbing out a pair of black leggings with leg bones on the front, as well as a black shirt with a rib cage sheltering a rainbow patterned butterfly within. I brushed my hair out, clipped a piece back with a skull clip, and placed socks and black ankle boots on my feet. Scooping Orson up, I attached his golden leash onto his metallic collar and set him back down. He still wasn't used to it and attempted to bite it off for a few moments before accepting his fate. Checking my reflection in the mirror, I admired how much life had returned to me. Nic had been feeding me well the last week and a half, and my much needed weight was returning. My cheeks had filled out, and a more natural tone had returned. My moments of faintness had greatly decreased, and I only now realised how sick I was feeling before I came here. I may not have survived much longer out in the world by myself, no matter how much I hated to admit it. 

     "You almost done in there? It's been seven minutes already!" Nic called out. I sighed before moving towards the door, opening it to reveal a characteristically overjoyed bluenette. He'd gotten increasingly clingy within the two weeks I'd stayed here. Normally, he'd give me plenty of space if I signalled to him that I needed it, but lately he'd shown an increasing reluctance to do so. The time frames I was given to myself were getting noticeably shorter as well. I longed more and more each day for time outside this castle's grounds. Dominic hardly even allowed me to be in the garden alone for long. The only places he seemed content with leaving me alone for extended periods of time were Violet's room, his room, and with his grandmother, Eleanor. Part of me was even beginning to miss being on the run with no one but myself. 

     "Why so gloomy, love? Did you not get enough sleep? I was nearly certain I sent you to bed early last night," Dominic said with a look of worry. I sent him a small smile and waved a hand at him in an attempt to tell him I was fine. The night previous, he had sent me to bed early, but I'd snuck out of my room to spend time in the garden with Orson. I'd been surprised that Dominic hadn't noticed. Tightening my grip on Orson's leash, I smiled wider and pecked Dominic on the cheek. Even if he was getting extremely clingy, he still cared extremely for me, and he made it obvious every second he could. Attempting to step around him, he wrapped an arm around my waist before pulling me towards him in as close as he possibly could.

     "Is that the only 'good morning' I get? I thought I meant more to you than that! I'm wounded," he said, pouting at me. Shaking my head at his over dramaticness, a goofy smile lit up my face as I tilted my head towards his, placing a small kiss against his plush lips. I pulled away a second later, and he seemed content with my small bit of affection. He released my hips soon after and grabbed my unoccupied hand, leading me off towards the kitchen where we normally had our breakfast.    

     "Good morning, love birds! How was your rest?" Eleanor greeted us the second we stepped through the kitchen doors. Sending a smile and a nod her way, Dominic raced to her and picked her up in a hug while spinning her around.

     "It was terrific, Grandma! Last night I dreamt that Valencia and I, along with Violet and Orson, went to the Northern lights together and watched the sun rise, and all the while we....uh...erm..." he trailed off, a bright red blush forming across his cheeks. Embarrassment was evident, and I couldn't help but raise my brows as he placed his grandmother back on her feet. Eleanor was wearing her normal attire of a floral kimono, only this time, it was a shade of light purple. Her pink eyes lit up in what seemed like realisation, and pink flooded her face as well as she laughed.

     "Oh, Nic, my dear boy! You've grown so much!" She laughed, clutching her stomach with her frail hands. I seemed to be the only one out of what seemed like an inside joke. Glancing down at Orson, he seemed just as confused as me. While Nic continued to stand in embarrassment as Eleanor laughed, I made my way to the refrigerator and grabbed a salad I'd made the night before, as well as the sandwich I'd made for Nic, and some raw meat for Orson. Eleanor seemed to make everything more lively. 

     I placed the food on the counter and gave Orson the meat before moving to the cupboard for a glass. Grabbing the glass that depicted a picture of a storm, I filled it with water and filled a glass for Dominic as well. Eleanor seemed to have already set down a bowl for Orson to drink from. She seemed to love animals just as much as Dominic. 

     Sitting myself down on the wooden stool near the counter, I ate my meal as Nic and Eleanor chatted about the weather and anything else they could think of. It was nice to hear two people so happily conversing about nothing in particular. Orson was by my feet soon after he finished the steak I'd given him, and he quickly curled up and closed his eyes. A nurturing look filled my face as I bent to his level, scooping him up in my arms and setting him in my lap as I finished my salad.

     "I know I've said it many times, Niccy, but I really do approve of that girl. She seems like an amazing catch, no matter whether she can speak or not. She'll do some good for the Estis name. She's kind, caring, and seems perfectly fine holding her own," I eavesdropped into Eleanor's words. It seemed like every day she was saying something of that sort.

     "I'd rather see her under my protection for the rest of her life. While I'm around, she'll never have to be alone again. I won't allow it, but I won't force her into the Estis family if that's not what she wishes," Dominic replied. They seemed to have forgotten I was in the room, or rather, they forgot I had an acute sense of hearing. Slowly drinking my water, I continued to listen into their conversation.

     "I understand, my boy. But Aradella was planning on sending Valencia away to her own little mansion soon. I can't bear to see the depression that will fill you if that happens. If you two join together, Aradella will have no right doing so. But as of now, she is the head of the household, you know. It's completely in her power to send her off. I only want what's best for you," Eleanor whispered. I was in shock. How could she easily decide my fate in such a way? I had only been around for two weeks. I'd only known Dominic for such a short time. Marrying him wasn't in my plans for anytime soon. I still had so much to do, and above all else, I had to find out the purpose of the key my father made. 

     "Grandma, do you know when Ella plans on doing this?" Nic's voice seemed to take on a dark tone. I'd never heard such a sound coming from him, and it caused me to slightly tense up. The dangerous twist was slightly unnerving. Eleanor must have motioned something to him, because she didn't vocally respond before Dominic spoke again. 

     "She can't, Grandma. Valencia's not leaving! I won't let her!" His voice gradually grew so loud he was shouting by the end. He seemed to tear away my freedom in that one sentence. With how he worded things, it was impossible to tell whether he meant it in terms of not allowing Aradella to send me away, or not allowing me to leave. I could deal with his clinginess, but it seemed a bit much to not even allow me to leave.

     Slamming my water glass on the counter to make them aware of my presence once again, I grabbed Orson in my arms before jumping down from the stool and walking out of the room with Dominic yelling at me from behind. I was fuming in that moment. My temper would have been better kept in check if it wasn't for my lack of sleep the night before, as well as my hormones being extra jumpy for the next week. Storming off down the halls, I was half-tempted to find Aradella myself and request the move early. It would be a much needed break from Dominic, no matter how much care and affection he gave me, and it would give me time to investigate the key. 

     "Valencia! Hold up! I'm sorry if what I said bothered you! I just don't want to lose you!" He called after me. I longed deeply to send back a retort about how he didn't determine my future, but all I could do was keep moving forward without sparing him a glance. Orson started shifting in my arms and making discontented noises in his sleep which stopped my from moving so aggressively and succeeded in calming me down, if only very slightly. 

     "Please, don't hate me for saying what I did. I didn't mean it. I don't want to control your life. It's just, imagining a life without you doesn't seem like a life at all. You turned my world around and made me open my eyes to see what was really out there. Please, don't be mad at me. Your anger directed towards me feels like a thousand needles being plunged straight into my soul. Forgive me, I beg you!" He pleaded. I felt his hand gently grasp mine from behind, and my first instinct was to jerk away from him, but I knew deep down that such a reaction was only thought of because of my veil of anger. Taking a deep breath, I turned to face him, carefully adjusting Orson in my one arm so he was laying more comfortably. I looked him deep in his blue eyes, searching for any sign of insincerity, but all I managed to find was pure, honest emotion as deep and vast as an ocean. Releasing a heavy sigh, I looked away from him, gently prying my hand from his warm grip. Alone time was what I needed at the moment, and I gave him a small hug, gently putting Orson into his arms before softly walking away, Dominic's nearly silent sobs filling the quiet hallway.

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     "Are you sure, Miss?" Corrine inquired once again for the seventh time. I'd made it clear to her what I wished, yet even after I'd packed my backpack, she was still trying to change my mind.

     "The Master isn't terrible, Miss! He really isn't. He's just lost so much already, you have to forgive him! He cares very deeply for you. I do believe it's in your best interest to stay," she tried persuading me once again. I shook my head out of stubbornness. I'd decided to leave to wherever Aradella wanted me. At least for a little while. Just long enough for me to decide whether I wanted the lifestyle I was currently living or not. If I learned that it was better to live with Dominic in all his glory, I'd come back, but if I decided my old life was better, I'd disappear yet again. The tracker in my skin had to leave, and I'd fix that as well. I'd nearly forgotten about it in my time with Dominic. 

     Which also brought Charlie, Genni, and Hanna into my mind again. I needed to find them as well. Mentally putting that on my list of things to do which was quickly filling up, I went through my back pack again, making sure I had all the necessities I needed that I wasn't sure I'd have at my new lodging.

     "Miss, I'm begging you once more. Please, reconsider! It's so much nicer in this place with you here, everyone will miss you!" She told me. I snorted at that. Aradella would be practically throwing a party at my departure. Slinging my bag over my shoulders, I realised how long it'd been since I'd done such an action. A small smile graced my lips, and the feeling of cold metal against my chest lowered my smile the next second. Reaching my hand up to remove the dangerous necklace, I stopped myself, instead just simply stroking the smooth tail of the panther. I'd miss him much more than slightly, but it was something I'd have to do. Throwing Corrine a  thankful look, I turned on my heel and left the room to find Aradella.

     It was a matter of mere minutes before she found me. She seemed to have been looking for me for awhile because she nearly walked right past me while looking into the distance. When she did notice me, a smirk of triumph lit up her face once she registered my downcast expression. I hadn't seen her for the last week, and I didn't know if I wanted to see her in the flesh now. The top of her deep blue hair was pulled up into a bun, and the rest hung around her shoulders in waves. The dark blue huntress dress I'd first seen on her was the outfit she was wearing now, accompanied as well with her bow around her shoulder. A smoky eye shadow brought out her deep crimson eyes, and the sunburn previously on her face had disappeared completely.

     "I see you've packed. Perhaps you heard that I've found you a proper place of your own to live?" She asked in a voice so honey laced it was obviously fake. Putting a small, fake smile of my own on, I slightly nodded my head. Her smirk grew at my response.

     "Terrific! The house I found for you is a bit in seclusion, but I figured you'd enjoy the peace and quiet. I think Dominic still has your bear, and I'll make sure that he is back in your possession before you leave. Your house isn't too terribly far from here, as requested from Nic. But it requires a nice little drive to get there. I can supply you with a vehicle if you wish, as long as you don't come around too often, am I clear?" She asked. I nodded my head once more as doubts started to fill my mind. An extreme sense of guilt for leaving Dominic started to plague me, but I just brushed it off as Aradella continued her speech.

     "I'll have Corrine escort you there, or, even better, I'll let you have her! She can keep you company as well as be your maid at your new estate. That way I don't have to worry about retrieving the car I send with you. Clothes and food have already been sent there and should arrive in a few days if they're not already there. Oh, I'm so excited for this, aren't you?" Aradella beamed. Not wanting to upset her, I half-heartedly nodded in response. The memory of Dominic's warm arms wrapped around me surfaced, and I nearly threw away all my plans. The only thing I was doing was throwing a little hissy fit just because I overreacted, but if I went back now, it would only continue to dig me a hole of dependence on Nic. I had to go, for both of our sakes.

     "Alright. That should be it then. I'll have Corrine start the car, and I'm sure Dominic would love to escort you out. I'll see you later, Valencia," Aradella said with a bright smile. She had no intention of seeing me later. I could tell from the happiness in her eyes. With nothing else to do, she briskly walked past me, purposely knocking her shoulder painfully into my own as a reminder of who she was in this household. Hanging my head downwards, I began making my way towards the entrance that Dominic had shown me a few days prior. A silent tear left my brown eyes as I heard rapid footsteps behind me.

     "Valencia!" Exclaimed the heavenly voice of Dominic himself, causing yet another tear to fall. I kept reminding myself that I had to leave. Time was what I needed to discover what I truly wanted. 

     "Oh, Sweetheart, I was afraid you'd already left," he told me, voice choked in his own sorrow. I felt his arms wrap around me from behind, and he spun me around to face him. Standing there in his warm embrace, I bit my tongue in an attempt to withhold my tears. Slowly, I wrapped my arms around him as well and buried my face into his sweatshirt clothed shoulder which gave him a more cuddly build. 

     "My sweet, sweet, sweet Valencia...you don't have to leave. You can stay here. I'll work something out with Aradella, I know I can. I don't want you to leave," he whispered into my ear. I longed to tell him my thoughts on the situation, and what I must do. Otherwise, he'd be lost thinking that I left only because of his sister. Deep down, I felt as if I didn't want to leave either. My favorite place was in his arms, and that's what felt like home. Nuzzling further into his shoulder, he spoke again.

     "I can come with you. She can't keep me here within these walls," he said. Just those words sparked a few small embers of rage inside me. It seemed so hypocritical what he just said. Just a few hours before, he'd wanted to condemn me to that very fate, but now he claimed no one had that power over him. Trying to keep my temper in check, I removed myself from his shoulder and backed a bit away before shaking my head at him.

     "What? Do you...not want me to come with?" He broke down," Please, whatever I've done, please forgive me! If you're still mad about earlier, I'm sorry! I'd do anything to make it up to you! Don't leave me alone, I won't be able to stand it," he cried out. I felt myself falling under his spell of sadness, and I moved closer to him, wrapping him once more in my embrace. I had to pull him down to my height, but he didn't seem to mind it as his arms snaked around my waist in a death hold. Rubbing his back, I tried to soothe him, and it worked after a few minutes. Pulling him back from my body, his brilliant blue irises shone out from the puffy red surrounding them. He was gorgeous even when he cried.

     Placing my hand tenderly around his neck, I brought his lips down to my own in a gentle kiss to tell him that I'd be back and wasn't leaving him forever, but when I went to pull away, his own hand found its way to the back of my head and held me in place. Slightly shocked, I abruptly opened my eyes only to find his closed in bliss. Deciding to give him this small moment of peace, I closed my own again and deepened the kiss. His soft lips molded against my own, and in a few seconds more, I felt a soft, wet muscle run across my bottom lip. I felt my cheeks tint in embarrassment at what he wanted, and found myself once again trying to move away. This time, he obliged and backed up, panting.

     "Sorry, Cutie. I couldn't resist myself. Does this mean you aren't mad at me anymore? Will you stay?" He questioned. His blue eyes held hopefulness, as well as a burning fire within, but I wouldn't have classified it as anger. It was something I'd never seen before in his eyes. Going over his words again in my mind, I regretfully shut my eyes and turned my head aside. 

     "I'll take that as a no," he sighed before placing a leathery material into my hand causing me to open my eyes once more. Orson's leash rested in my palm, and I sent a sad smile at Dominic. Mouthing 'thank you', I turned away towards the front door with the sound of Orson barreling behind. Just as I was about to pass the threshold into the outside world, I heard Dominic speak three words behind me, just quiet enough to be considered a whisper, but just loud enough that he knew I could hear.

     "I love you," was all he said as I walked away, not once daring to turn around for fear of running back into his arms. 

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     "This is it, Miss...our new home. But I'm sure Domi-"

     I cut Corrine off right there. I had already heard enough of her pleadings on the drive here, and I just needed her to stop. Orson had slept the entire trip, and we'd found ourselves in a quiet little farmside that looked like an old fashioned plantation I'd seen in books long ago. A small lake rested at the east side of the plantation, overrun with lily pads, cat tails, moss, frogs, and swans. The west side housed a few willow trees, as well as a small field of dandelions. A long dirt pathway led to the driveway of the plantation, and we slowly made our way down it to the north entrance. 

     We'd arrived at the house a lot later than when we left the previous one. It'd taken what felt like a day to reach this one. Stars were starting to make an appearance as the Sun continued its descent beneath the horizon in a beautiful dance of colors. It reminded me of the night Dominic and I had spent outside in the garden maze, and a melancholic smile sadly lifted the corners of my mouth. This day's events had tired me, and I felt ready to pass out. If I tried hard enough, I found myself remembering Dominic's inviting lips upon my own, and the extreme comfort his arms brought. Thoughts of him wouldn't be making tonight an easy one to sleep away.

     A yawn left my parted lips as Corrine announced that our arrival was true, and I glanced out the windshield to prove the fact. The plantation stood proudly before us, and I found myself imagining how many children could fit in the house. It was an odd thought, and I didn't even understand why it made an appearance in my mind. I blamed it on the tiredness and proceeded to open my car door with Orson in my arms. I motioned Corrine to open the house door, and she obliged, revealing the dusty home hidden away. It was obvious that the house had been left alone for quite some time.

     Deciding I'd fix it up tomorrow, I turned to Corrine and motioned for her to show me the way to a bedroom, and she walked forward, head down and orange hair obscuring my view of her face. Orson released a few gentle snores, and I held him closer to my chest, as well as my beating heart. I felt homesick, although the only home I had was the one I was in at the current moment. My legs felt tired and weak as I followed the mechanical maid up the stairs, soon after taking a right, then walking five doors down. 

     "This is the master bedroom, Miss. The Mistress assured me that this room would be the cleanest one in the household so as to not harm your health. I hope it's true," she ended with before twisting the crystallized handle. 

     The room was exactly as Aradella had told Corrine. It was the cleanest room on the estate, except the only thing it housed was a small, twin sized bed with a single sheet and quilt resting atop it. It was a cruel trick she played, but I accepted it. There was no way to change what had already been done. 

     "Oh, I'm so terribly sorry, Miss! I'll go find you something better right awa-" 

     I cut her off again with a wave of my hand. Moving to the bed, I sat upon it to test its strength and discovered it to be not all that uncomfortable. In fact, it even seemed like it was memory foam. She tried to dissuade me from using it due to its appearance, but I felt like I had won a small battle in the war we were in. I smiled at Corrine before waving my hand in a small parting to tell her 'goodnight', then picked Orson off the floor and onto the bed with me where we remained until day break.

     As I laid there trying to rest, I felt as though I could physically hear Dominic's pained cries at not having me near him. I could visualize Aradella's smug expression as she attempted to comfort him, only for it to falter and turn to one of loathing and sadness at realising nothing she did could help him. I could hear my name being screamed in pure agony from Dominic's sore throat, and I could feel his moist tears falling from his precious eyes. It took me a few moments to understand that those tears were my own, but by the time I did, I was already half asleep and dreaming that Dominic and I were outside in a snowy tundra admiring the Northern lights.