Programmed Love

Chapter Eleven: Stars Above

     "Just where did you go?" I questioned aloud. Dominic had disappeared from his play room earlier, and he left no clues as to where he was heading. It was unlike him to do such a thing without informing me first. Of course, I may have scared him a bit by my actions yesterday, but he just needed to get into his thick skull that I was all he needed. I'd have figured by now he'd have realised his love for me in return and we could put our sibling bonds aside. I just couldn't understand the boy who had stolen my heart.

     I'd kept my leisurely pace throughout the hallways, for there was no reason to freak out. There were only so many places he could be. He'd been in his lab for nearly the entire day, so perhaps he was hungry. That made the kitchen my next stop. It was still upsetting, however, that he didn't find it important to tell me. We could have had a snack together. As long as he hadn't invited Valencia along, all could be forgiven. That girl had quite quickly turned into the bane of my existence.

     My laced skirt waved around my legs as I gradually quickened my speed. The dress itself was rather skin tight, but I hoped that Dominic might notice. I'd been given a nearly flat body, with almost straight hips, but that didn't stop me from trying. If Dominic didn't see other woman, he wouldn't have any comparisons. That was my main reason for shooing the female Arena winners away as quickly as possible. The black part of the dress stopped mid-thigh, but the lace covering waved out to reach the floor. I'd left my hair alone for the day, allowing part of it to hang over my right eye. I'd painted my lips a crimson red, and put one of my hoops through the right side. It felt right to look so dangerous. My aura itself was often enough to frighten anyone off, with the exception of Valencia. 

      Even in my mind, that name was uttered with poison. What made her so special? Dominic never paid so much attention to any of the other Arena girls. He often even brushed them aside quite bluntly after he got tired of flirting for as short as an hour. It'd been three days now, and he was showing no signs of tiring of her. To be frank, it was starting to worry me.

     "Oh, Nic~" I called out as I extravagantly threw open the kitchen doors. Only to my dismay, he was nowhere to be found within the room. The joyous smile on my face was wiped away at that realisation. It soon returned, however, at seeing the happy face of my grandmother sitting at the counter.

     "Ella! My dear baby girl, what are you up to?" Her warm voice asked. This was one of the few people on Earth that I could stand, and bond with.

     "Oh, Grandma! I was looking for Nic, but if you're in here all by yourself, I may take a break for a bit," I told her. She smiled in return, and I noticed the empty mug in her hands. "Would you like me to make you something, Grandma? I notice your cup is empty." 

     "Oh, you're such a dear. My silly mind is getting old. I came in her awhile ago to get some chai tea, but then I got to talking with that brunette lass and forgot about it," she explained with a twinkle in her fogging eyes. Forcing the smile to remain on my face, I took the cat shaped mug from her shaking hands. 

     "Oh, did you now? She's the latest-"

     "Arena winner, yes I know. She told me," Grandma cut me off.

     "She 'told' you?" I questioned with a raised brow and growing suspicion. If she'd been lying about being mute, I could relay that to Dominic, and he could realise how much of a lying enchantress she was. My hopes began to soar.

     "Well, she didn't necessarily tell me, but she nodded her head when I asked the question," and just like that, my hopes came crashing down. 

     "Oh," was all I muttered as I turned to make her the tea she requested and physically slumped my shoulders forward. My mood dropped in an instant after that revelation.

     "Why so down, dearie? She seems like such a fine young lady. Maybe we could keep her aro-" just the first statement she said was enough to send me off on a rampage, and the second thing she tried to utter just made it worse.

     "She is not staying here," I darkly warned. However, I didn't turn to face my grandmother. She didn't deserve the darkness in my eyes. 

     "Sweet pea, are you jealous? You must know that you can't keep Dominic locked away from everyone," my grandmother calmly replied. She had an amazing ability to read people. Although, she didn't know when to bite her tongue.

     "Grandmother," I said, trying desperately to keep my temper in check," I've told you before how I feel about Dominic. We're meant to be, and I know it. He just hasn't realised his love for me in return yet. I just have to try a little harder," I tried reasoning with her. My grip on her mug was tightening as I brought it to her. If it hadn't of been a favorite of hers, I wouldn't have held back and would most likely have broken it by now.

     "Aradella, maybe it's time to let those childish fantasies go. What you feel for him is a thing referred to as 'i****t', and it's been frowned upon for hundreds of years. I understand that you love him, sweetie, I really do. But I don't think he's the proper one for you. This relationship has tainted your mind, and I feel ashamed that I haven't tried to stop it before, my sweet girl. Maybe if he had returned your feelings, I could have turned a blind eye, but I don't think he does. You've been frightening him, Ella," Grandma told me all the things I'd been trying to lock away in the back of my mind. I wanted to break down. I wanted to scream, and cry, and hurt something, but all I'd hurt would be myself. My tough facade momentarily broke away and I was left feeling like a rejected teenager. Lost and broken.

     "But why, Grandma? I've tried to shower him with everything he could possibly want. I've shown him my love, and I've done everything for him. After the accident, I felt terrible. I was the one who caused it, Grandma!" I shouted. A tear fell from my eyes, slightly dislodging the contact upon it. 

     "Hush now, dearie. You did no such thing. Come here and accept some Grandma wisdom," she told me, opening her kimono covered arms and patting her lap. Slightly laughing, I wiped the few tears from my face and walked towards her, seating myself on her lap and burying my face in her neck. Her wrinkled hand ran through my deep blue locks while the other one wrapped around my waist to keep me from falling.

     "I think what you need is a nice sip of my chai. How does that sound?" She questioned, grabbing her mug from the counter and offering it to me. I took it gratefully and pressed it to my lips, inhaling it's spiced aroma before tipping it back and pouring a small bit through my mouth. The faintest taste of the wine she loved so much still remained in the mug and gave it a slightly sweeter taste. 

     "Thank you, Gramma," my words came out in a slur beneath the tears and I sat back in her lap.

     "Now, I'm not meaning to offend you, or trigger your poor self, but I think it may be time for you to release your grip on Dominic. He's growing more independent as the days go by, and he came by me today earlier, and you know what he told me?" She asked softly. I hummed in reply, and she continued," He told me that you've been getting a little possessive. He told me that yesterday, you yelled at him for merely trying to have fun with a new friend of his, then proceeded to lock him in a closet when he argued back. Would my sweet Aradella do that?"

     "I'm sorry, Grandma. I acted out terribly towards him, I know, but that girl just gets on my nerves so much, and he was slow dancing with her when I walked in on them. It broke my heart, Grandma," I regretfully told her. She 'tutt'ed at me and continued stroking my hair for a little while before speaking again.

     "My dear, if you truly love Dominic, than I believe you should let him go. A wise person once said that if you love someone, let them go. If they come back, they're yours, but if they don't, then they never were. You will always be an important part of his life, because you're his big sister, but I believe that is all you should try to be to him. If he's feeling something for this girl, you should let them be. I've already told her I approve of her, and I believe if you widen your mind, you'd like her, too. Please, sweet pea, just give him some space for awhile. Maybe I'm wrong and she's just the flavor of the week to him, but you must let him determine that on his own without your intervention. Please, promise me, Ella," my grandma finished. Looking up into her clouded eyes, I nodded my head and offered her my pinky like I always used to as a child.

     "I pinky promise," I told her, and she warmly smiled before giving me her pinky in return and intertwining them.

     "Good girl, now go clean up your face. And take those silly things out of your eyes. I've told you a million times, your eyes are beautiful. Take pride in them. They're a family heritage to the females," she scolded me, and I carefully removed myself from her lap. Hanging my head in shame at her remark, I walked off to find the nearest bathroom which was only a few doors down. I'd worn colored contacts ever since Dominic's accident because he disliked the color red, even if it was natural in the family. My eyes were naturally a crimson, the color of my lipstick. My grandmother also had a slightly lighter shade of red eyes in her youth, but once she started losing her sight, the white clouded her eyes and made them appear pink.

     I wasn't a complete mess when I made it to the bathroom sink. Only a few tears remained stubbornly on my face, and I hadn't been wearing any eye makeup that would smear. My hair was still perfectly framing my face, but I felt slightly guilty for wearing such a revealing dress around my grandmother. She taught me better than that. I always liked her more than my parents.

     I decided to wipe the lipstick off, and while in the process of that, I removed the green contacts, too. They were serving no purpose. I loved Dominic more than anything, and I was sure he loved me back, but he needed his space to realise that. I laughed and shook my head at myself. That was probably what it was all along! I hadn't deprived him of my company, so he never had the time to realise how much he'd miss me and needed me! 

     Walking out of the bathroom with a jubilant air, I went back to my grandmother. The smell of sugar was wafting from the room, and opening the door revealed flour, sugar, pans, and a whole bunch of other baking ingredients.

     "You always know what's best, Grandma!" I told her, now in a much better mood than I was when I left the kitchen. Sending her a rare smile, she returned her own while also coming over to me with a pink apron.

     "Thank you, Ella. I have years of experience," she said with a wink. "Now, why don't you help me with these cookies like the old days?"

                                                            ~                        ~                        ~

    'He just asked me for a kiss....Dominic...My friend...What?!' Incoherent thoughts raced around my head for what felt like minutes, but it was really only seconds before he burst out laughing.

     "You should have seen the look on your face! You actually thought I was being serious!...unless you want me to be," he added onto the end. He was laughing like there was no tomorrow just a moment before, but he got deathly serious once more. I felt used as a toy for entertainment at the moment, and slightly embarrassed. Giving him a dirty look, I went to stand up and walk away before he reached out and wrapped his fingers around my right wrist. Giving him a death glare in return, he continued to hold my wrist.

     "Please don't leave. I'm sorry for upsetting you, I was just joking around," he pleadingly said. Minutes before, I'd been risking my safety to make sure he wasn't emotionally hurt, and this was what I got in return. I was infuriated. Then he had the nerve to try and fool me again. Turning my back on him once more, I attempted yet again to wretch my arm from him.

     "Valencia! Stop! I'm sorry. I shouldn't have joked about something like that, it won't happen again, I promise! Just please, come back. Don't hate me," he begged at the end. Memories of how he held me close the night before, and how he danced with me prior to that filled my mind. He'd been caring, sweet, joking, and considerate up to this point. I couldn't blame him, he hadn't known anyone besides his sister, and possibly his grandmother, to be able to work on communication skills. That's probably why he was such a flirt as well. The anger gradually left me as my mind pieced together reasons for this situation to be brushed aside. 

     'I don't,' I mouthed to him, and he seemed to understand the message at seeing how my eyes changed from a blazing anger to a caring tint. He got to his own feet and released my wrists before quickly embracing me. This hug wasn't sweet like the other ones, but more like there was a fear that I'd slip away if he didn't cling tight enough. I stiffened in his grip, waiting for the uncomfortable embrace to end. I'd nearly had enough human contact for a lifetime. 

     "Thank you! You don't understand how much this means to me," he muttered into my hair before removing his arms from my body and giving me space I longed for. Clingy, childish Dominic drained me mentally, and physically. Rubbing my eyes because of that reason, I took a few steps away. 

     "I wanted to spend more time with you, but if you're tired, or still angry, you can head to bed," he said with a slight pout. It was obvious he was only trying to be courteous, because the undertone of desperation was evident. Sighing, I shook my head at myself after deciding to stay. I'd spend tomorrow alone if possible.

     "Are you sure?" Dominic asked. He'd lost the childishness at the moment, and I was grateful. He was more reasonable to deal with when he acted his age. I nodded my head in response.

     "Alright. Would you like to take a walk through the maze with me then? It's getting a little dark, but there are lights that will turn on," he informed me. The sun had almost completely sunk beneath the horizon, and the half-full moon was visible. I complied to his suggestion. I found there was nothing better to do. 

     "Great! Do you wanna hold hands, or lock elbows, or...?" He ended with a semi-question that faded into the night. He must have realised my annoyment was mostly due to his childish attitude. I found the question to be sincere, so I decided to do what he wanted as a form of repayment for the necklace upon my neck. Reaching for his hand, he all too happily took mine faster than my mind could process. My hand felt small in comparison to his, and a lot colder.

     "Are you cold, sweetheart? I mean! Uh, forget what I called you. I've been around my grandma too much...yeah, that's it," he whispered the last bit to himself, but my acute hearing I'd picked up over the years allowed me to hear it. Giving his hand a squeeze to show that it was fine, he nervously gulped before walking forward. His strange attitude now reminded me of how he acted the night before when talking about the painting on his ceiling. A slight breeze picked up in response to his question he told me to ignore. A few shivers wracked my body, but I didn't bring it to the attention of Dominic. 

     "You're not as good at hiding your shivers as you think you are. You can wear my sweatshirt, hold on," he told me, releasing my hand and beginning to remove the sweatshirt. A blush spread on my face as his sweatshirt nearly removed his shirt as well, revealing a slightly toned chest beneath, as well as a small scar running over the left side of his chest. He took my curiosity of the scar as a look of something else, and laughed at my reaction.

     "What? Have you never seen a shirtless male before? You take all the time you need," he huskily said with a wink. Scoffing at his idea, I rolled my eyes and snatched the white sweatshirt with an anatomical black heart on the front from him. Pulling the sweatshirt over my own head, it fit just as well as the 'emoji' sweatshirt he'd gifted me with on my first night here. However, wearing the sweatshirt made me a lot warmer than going without. I reached for his hand once more when I situated the article of clothing to my liking and we started walking once again.

     After a few more minutes of moving, we reached the mouth of the maze. It didn't seem that intimidating, I'd ran through rubble more hectic, but it seemed pleasant. It was a few feet higher than Dominic, and it had blue roses laced into it throughout. Judging on how far it went to each side, it appeared to be circular. 

     "I'm going to test your navigation skills with this. It's more like a game for me. Your goal is to lead us to the middle of the maze. I have a surprise waiting for you there, and the quicker you get us there, the more of the surprise you get. I can give you three hints if you'd like them, but that means I get some of the surprise as well, deal?" He explained to me. Everything seemed fair. Even without the potential award, it seemed fun to me. Navigation skills came easily to me from all the practice I got from being on the run. I nodded my head before grasping his hand tighter and diving into it.

                                                                ·                         ·                       ·

     Fifteen minutes later, and I was already completely lost. There were too many twists and hardly enough landmarks for this to be fair, and the smirking blue-haired devil behind me knew it. Sighing in frustration, I removed his sweatshirt before tossing it back to him. I'd let go of his hand the first time I was turned around and hadn't grabbed hold of it since. There were moments when I was fairly certain the walls around me were moving, because I'd turn around after coming to a dead end only to find two new paths and none of the previous landmarks. Sending a glare his way, he laughed at my expression.

     "You look so cute in the moonlight when you're angry! Would you like a hint yet?" He questioned with a knowing smile on his visage. Narrowing my eyes further, I nodded my head. I was trapped in here, and he knew it. He was finding this 'game' all too enjoyable. 

     "I'm quite certain that by now you've realised this maze moves. Otherwise it would have been too easy and you'd have found the middle in five minutes flat. So, pay attention to the times that things change. It will help you, I promise," he said with that same mischievous grin. I was tempted to get into a b****y brawl with him right then and there, but I restrained myself. 

     'He's your friend, Val. I'm sure he won't appreciate it too much if you punch his pretty face in,' came my thoughts to which I snorted. Even at times like this my mind was complimenting him. 

     Sighing once more, I took a look around. There was nothing out of the ordinary about the walls of the hedge, but looking at the stone ground proved a lot more interesting. A seam line was very visible in the moonlight running in a circle around the part I was in. Almost like there were many rings around the entire thing that would move at certain times. I put that information into storage for the moment. 

     Grabbing Dominic's hand once more, I wasn't able to give up yet. Judging by the circumference of the layer I was on, the furthest I was only involved me being around the middle of it. I mentally sighed that time. Finding a new opening, I took that and turned left. Dead end. Turning back around, the spot I entered into this layer from was gone. Continuing to walk, I felt the ground beneath me move. Holding my breath, I held Nic's hand tighter until the motion stopped. He chuckled at my reaction.

     I took an inner left the next time I found an opening, and I witnessed Dominic raise an eyebrow at my decision. Sending him a worried glance, wondering if I'd made the right choice, he continued avoiding my gaze. I walked with my head down for awhile until I found a new opening and went inside it, only to come out exactly where I was five minutes ago. I didn't even understand how it was physically possible. Turning back to Dominic, I sent him an accusing glare and punched him lightly in the chest to let out some frustration.

     "Calm down, Cutie. You were at least getting closer. I guess the hedge decided to switch things up again. I feel bad for that one, because you really were nearly there, so I'll help you this time for free and get you back to where you were. Come on," he gently gestured, reaching for my hand once more. I'd grown tired of hand-holding for the day, so I put my own hands behind my back and followed closely behind him instead while his face slightly fell.

     In what seemed like only a couple minutes, we were already back to the point I was at before. I felt like he'd cheated somehow. It was too easy. Almost as if there was some sort of shortcut he'd taken. Or maybe...I really hoped he wasn't doing what I thought he was doing. Turning to face him, I stared long and hard into his shiny blue orbs. A mystery was lying within, I could see it. I stood there for a few more moments before deciding I wouldn't be able to figure it out and moving on. 

     "Do I have something on my face? What are you staring so intently at?" He questioned, knowing full well I couldn't answer. He was probably just hoping to fool around with me some more, but I was getting tired and slightly cranky. I turned around once more and started walking off. At this time, I wasn't using any advanced method, I was simply walking without a purpose. I just wanted to find the middle and get it over this. This was much more fun for Dominic than it was for me, and he knew it. I was at my breaking point.

     Turning towards Dominic once more, I outstretched my arms to him in a 'pick me up' fashion. He looked at me, confused, for a moment, not understanding what I was saying. Crossing my arms in a huff, I sat down before resting my back on the stone beneath me, spreading my arms out to signify I was done. I even closed my eyes.

     "So, you're giving up? I guess you were a bit tired when you came in here anyways. Hold on, I'll get you, don't worry," he said, rolling his eyes at my current state. I stuck my tongue out at him before fully taking in the sight of him. His lush, cyan hair was blowing gently in the breeze, his beautiful blue eyes were staring down intently at me, a small smile lifted the corner of his pink lips, and the moonlight just seemed to make him glow. He bent down and turned his back towards me, causing confusion to fill my face. I was assuming he would pick me up bridal style.

     "Well, get on my back. The night's dwindling. I'll give you a piggyback ride to the center," he told me, holding his arms out behind him. When I was a little girl, my father often gave me rides like those. A feeling of nostalgia washed over me, but I proceeded to wrap my legs around his torso and my arms around his neck. He lifted me with a small grunt and went along his way.

     "Huh, you really are light. I'll be sure to give you some extra food tomorrow," he humorously said. I buried my face into his neck, and I felt him shiver. He hadn't put his sweatshirt back on, instead he had wrapped it around his hips and tied it there. I tried wrapping myself around him more to help keep him warm, but it only seemed to send more shivers through him. Scrunching my eyebrows up, I tried to come up with another way to make him warm. Squeezing my legs tighter around his torso, I tried rubbing my hands up and down his arms to at least warm his arms, and he chuckled.

     "So that's what you're trying to do. For a second I thought you were doing it on purpose. I guess you're too innocent, huh? I'm not cold, Cutie. It's just that touching people in certain places, or doing certain things has a tendency to send shivers down a person's spine. Especially if they like the person who's doing it...um...Oh look! We're here, haha, funny how time flies, right?" He said, sounding fidgety and awkward towards the end. Nic made no sense at times. Shaking my head at his antics, I hopped off his back, which seemed to startle him as he immediately grabbed after me. Sending him a weird look, I took in the sight in front of me.

     There was a circular opening, and the moment we stepped fully in, the hedge walls closed, entrapping us within the middle circle. I was slightly worried, but Nic told me not to pay any attention to it, so I looked at details. The stone pathway was flecked with blue gems, the hedges in this area were more abundant with blue roses for decorations, and in the very middle, chalk sticks sat beside a single white rose. Pointing towards them, I gave Nic a curious gaze.

     "That's your surprise!  Of course, you kinda forfeited your chance at asking your questions, but since you're so adorable, I'll let you ask one question. And since you practically used two hints, I get to ask two. We both have to answer honestly, of course. That rose is also for you. I removed the thorns and everything!" He exclaimed with a charismatic smile. My heart fluttered a bit, and I remembered what Eleanor said about me swooning. A blush soon spread across my face.

     "Choose the color you want, and I'll choose mine. Then I'll ask a question, you ask yours, and I'll ask my last one. Sound good?" He asked, and I nodded my head. I'm surprised I didn't have whiplash with how much I'd been moving my head lately. There were very few colors to choose from, but I figured the black would be easiest to see, so I chose that. Nic chose the dark blue. I also picked up my rose and sat it in my lap when I sat cross-legged on the ground. 

     "Alright, first question. Do you like it here?" Nic asked with a sparkle in his eyes as he stared into my own wide brown ones. He seemed hopeful in a way. The first night I spent here, he asked questions about favorite colors, favorite animals, the places I'd seen, and the likes. But I guess now that we're closer friends, he found it best to ask if I was getting along well, so I decided to answer honestly.

     "At times, it's amazing. I like it here, but it has its occasional downsides, too. I'm still not quite used to lots of human contact and conversation," I wrote to him. He seemed to take it all in, and he seemed very understanding about it, too.

     "I get that. I bet my clinginess doesn't help much, does it?" He asked with a sad smile. I smiled widely at him back to cheer him up, and playfully punched his shoulder. I decided to make the most of my question, and asked him where the scar on his chest came from.

     "Oh, so you actually were paying attention to my chest, huh?" He flirtatiously asked with a wink. I rolled my eyes once more and he continued. "I got it from a surgery I had to go through when I was younger. I was pretty badly wounded in the heart area, and that's where they went in to fix it. Nothing too serious, I'm fine and dandy. Obviously," he stated lastly with a diva hair flip. I would have giggled at that if it were possible.

     "And that leaves my last question. I promise I'm asking this with true sincerity, no jokes. Will you take it seriously, too, and not get mad?" He asked with a worried expression. I could only think of so many things he'd get that worried about, but I nodded my head anyways, curious as to what his question was. I put myself into a serious frame of mind, and looked at him straight in the eye, chickened out rather quickly, then looked just past his ear. I hadn't noticed it before, but he had a small diamond stud in his left ear. I grew rather focused on that quickly. Focusing so much on his ear, I failed to hear his question, but when I snapped out of my daze and looked back at him, his cheeks had gone a pale pink. Tilting my head to the side, I motioned for him to ask again.

     "Y-you didn't hear me the first time? Oh, o-okay," he stammered, gulping a small bit," I asked, 'What would your answer be if I asked to kiss you?'. No jokes this time, I swear! I g-genuinely want to know."

     Shocked, I searched his gaze for any hint of falsity, but found none. He kept averting his gaze from mine, most likely from embarrassment. I found it cute, but I also remembered that he was waiting for an answer, which brought a blush to my own face. I could feel blood rushing through my lips at the thought of his own against mine, and I unconsciously turned my gaze to his own lips. Quickly returning my eyes to his own, I opened my mouth to respond, momentarily forgetting about my muteness. Shutting it just as quickly, I slowly nodded my head, trying to think in my mind what would happen next. He glanced down at my own lips after getting my response, then slowly trailed them back up my face. 

     "Then...could I?" He quietly asked, slowly edging forward. Softly smiling, I nodded once again as his hand found its way to cup my cheek, and my own hand reached towards the nape of his neck, just the way I'd remembered seeing my own parents happily with each other. I fluttered my eyes shut, and soon followed a soft pressure against my awaiting lips. They were soft and warm. I savored every moment our lips remained one, and I spent those moments memorizing every texture and curvature of his lips, all the way from his cupid's bow to the upturn of his lips. I wished the moment would never end, but all too soon it seemed, he pulled away, staring dreamily into my own half-lidded eyes. 

     We just sat there for the next few moments. My hands around his neck, one of his own on my cheek, as we just stared deeply into the other's eyes. I couldn't imagine betraying, or even leaving him at this moment. The thoughts of how annoying he could be, or how childish he was left my mind, and all I could think of was sweet, kind, caring Dominic. Even thoughts of Aradella left me in those few moments.

     "I don't know what love is, but if what I'm feeling for you right now is anything close to it, then I never want it to go away," his silken voice broke the silence, but it sounded so perfect, it was nearly a melody with the low wind. To answer his words, I leaned forward and planted another smaller kiss onto his lips before I bent down and rested my head on his chest. He shifted his body closer to mine, removed his sweatshirt from his waist, and covered me with it like it was a blanket. Blissfully sitting there, listening closely to the beating of his heart, I was nearly lulled to sleep before I heard him speaking once more.

     "Look. There's a beautiful night sky above us tonight, almost as if even the stars above like the idea of us," he said in a dazed voice, or maybe my mind was so close to dreamland that it only sounded dazed. Either way, I nodded my head at his words before pulling his hand pointing to the stars down and into my smaller palm. That was where it remained until the next morning when I had to figure out just how I was getting out of the metaphorical and physical maze I had found myself lost in.